The Trip Home
Rojo stepped through the portal into Belsaa, city of the dead.
To describe it in one word was; Slum, the place was a polluted waste dump for undead to live.
Rojo had lived here once, before his move to the Gali Desert.
The air was thick and a strange thick liquid ran down a stone running at the side of the cobbled street.
The dead rogue looked down an alley and saw someone getting mugged; it was usual tendency to get mugged four, maybe five, times a week in Belsaa.
But not Rojo, nobody ever mugged him; he would usually walk out the alley with a very bemused thug left behind him.
The jolly corpse was still whistling his tune as he walked, his hands in his pockets.
His red scarf he kept around his forehead was a warning for muggers; Warning, do not attempt to mug this person.
Rojo walked slowly towards the city gates, taking his time as he did.
"Alrigh' Ro?" asked the gate guard, Bill
"I'm alright, bill" replied the undead
"Hold on a sec'" said Bill, he bent down and pulled a lever under his desk, the gates slowly opened inwards so a swirling portal could be seen
"Thanks Bill" grinned Rojo, and moseyed on through the door.
The cheerful necro victim walked up the steps that now faced him; he came out into a small graveyard.
Tombstones littered around the place as the corpse moved amongst them, it was around midday, the sun was quite high, the air was warm.
Rojo walked along the forest path, many trees all looming around him, branches leaping out as if to snatch him away.
The rogue soon came to a small settlement called Petsbrough, the people there knew that Rojo meant no harm and let him pass, saying things such as
"Mornin' Rojo" or "Hail, rogue" as he walked among them.
The undead had gotten fairly near to the edge of the forest when night fell, he set up his camp, a basic fire, one be roll and a dinner that consisted of one small steak with spits of herb.
The morning came soon and Rojo poked his head out of the tent, he saw a brown bear eating his food
"Oi! Bugger off, that's my food!" laughed the happy rogue.
The bear growled at him and took off with his food
"Damn bears, not that I need to eat, but it does make one more cheery" he sighed and packed up camp and continued on his way.
At the edge of the forest, just as sun was creeping up, Rojo noticed some dancing figures off to the left of the road; he began to walk towards them.
"Hello? What's all the dancing about? Managed to give birth to a half-bear?" called the laughing Rojo, making fun of the fact that the people were elves.
The dancing stopped; the elves looked at Rojo and drew bows
"Aw, crap" the undead turned the other way and pelted back towards the path.
Arrows whistled as they flew past Rojo's head.
The undead dived for cover behind a large boulder, the elves fired upwards and 3 arrows landed next to him.
The corpse grinned and ran towards the path, he was about to make it when an elf poked its head out of a tree and blew a sedative dart into Rojo's neck
"I hate irony" were his last words before he blacked out.
Rojo woke up tied up with elven rope before an elf wearing many jewels and a glorious purple cloak
"You, abomination, stand before me!" cried the elf from the throne he was sitting on.
Rojo slowly stood up in front of him.
"Now bow!" ordered the king
"Make your bloody mind up" muttered the undead, rolling his eyes and bowing
"What was that?" snapped the elf lord
"Nothing, nothing your grace" said the corpse
"Good! Now, why are you here?"
"Because your elves captured me you moron"
"Guards, throw him to the floor!" commanded the king, a guard stepped forward and thrust Rojo to the floor
"Now, why are you truly in my realm?" queried the great elf, his voice now sickly sweet
"Well, technically I wasn't in your realm, I had, in fact, already crossed the forest border line when your 'troops' captured me" explained the undead with a 'me: 1, you: 0' smile on his face
"Guard, throw him to the floor!" cried the king again
"Y-yes your majesty" stuttered the guard, hoisting Rojo from the floor and threw him down again
"Now, I will but ask you once more, abomination" threatened the snobbish elf "why are you in my realm?"
"Because I'm going back to my house" sighed the bored corpse
"Lies! Throw him in the dungeon!" called the lord once more
Rojo was thrown into a stone cell, it was roughly hewn with a rag in the corner, he presumed for him to sleep on
"Oh, how cliché!" cooed the imprisoned undead as he looked about himself.
Bread and water was shoved through the cell door 3 times a day and eventually the undead got bored, days upon days of sitting in his cell, doing nothing.
One day however, an elf walked up to his cell and unlocked the door, said elf was wearing a leather tunic and cloth leggings, it also wore a cloak which hid the elf's face; the cloak ran down to the elven shoes.
"Come with me" beckoned the elf; Rojo was startled at first but was not hesitating at rescue.
The undead and the elf ran through the dark tunnels of the elf king, the elf pulled down her hood
"I am Tial, daughter of Kial, the king" she told the grinning corpse
"Hi, I'm Rojo, son of my father and master thief; may I ask why you're helping me? Not that I mind"
"I'll tell you when we're not having arrows fired at us" she replied and put on a extra spurt of speed
"Arrows?" Rojo called after her, looking confused, then 2 arrows came flying past, nearly missing his head
"Oh, arrows" he said, looking at the disappearing shafts of said arrows.
The undead began to sprint after his saviour, they took a sharp right turn and Rojo could faintly see light, he headed towards it, he dived through the hole, under the spears of two guards and ran through the shrub after Tial.
Rojo came to the edge of the forest again where he saw a panting and huffing Tial
"Yet another fault of the living" he said "Breathing" he grinned like a Cheshire cat and began to walk towards the path.
Later, the two were walking down the cobbled path through the Daki plains.
"So….you're coming with me in hopes of adventure?" asked the rogue
"Yes, life as a princess is extremely dull" replied Tial
"But, I'm just a honest thief, you wouldn't expect me to get into any adventures" said Rojo, still grinning
Tial rolled her eyes, she liked this undead, he was funny.
At midday they stopped for lunch, there wasn't much to eat, and four apples wasn't exactly filling
"'S not my fault" Rojo said "I don't have to eat as much as you living"
They moved on, seeing a few things along the way.
Tial was singing an elven melody when a caravan of kobolds came into view
The two unlikely protagonists hid in a bush by the side of the path as the reptilian creatures crept by with their yaks pulling the cart.
One kobold came away from the cart and began to snuffle around the bush, Rojo pricked its nose with the end of his swords, the kobold yelped and ran back to its fellows. As their backs were turned, Rojo leapt onto the rear of the cart and stole some provisions.
The undead jumped off and quietly snuck off with Tial along the road.
As night fell, the opened the bags Rojo had stolen, there was gunpowder, peaches ( a few had maggots in), fish and a squirming bag which they wouldn't touch.
The elf and the undead sat by the fire in their camp.
After a good sleep (filled with arguments about sleeping in the same tent, which ended up with Rojo sleeping in a tree) they found the squirming bag was gone and a kobold was sitting by the fire, roasting a squirrel
"Oi! Get away from our camp!" shooed Rojo, but the kobold just stared
"Squirrel?" asked the kobold, offering it to Tial
"Uh, no thanks" she replied, rejecting the food.
The kobold shrugged and shoved the whole squirrel into his mouth, after a lot of noisy chewing and swallowing, the kobold said,
"You free Mok, Mok like you now" and the creature hugged Rojo around the middle, the undead looked at Tial in a confused frown and looked down at the reptilian humanoid.
And so, Mok began his story,
"Mok was a nice kobold, he would always say 'We should be nice to adventures, then they be nice to us!' but elders not like that, they tell Mok he a bad kobold, they say he must stop being nice to adventurers, or they would kill Mok! So, Mok stop being kind to adventures, then Mok see a little adventure being attack by bear! So Mok save little adventure and little adventurer give Mok a spear, Mok show spear to elders, elders get angry with Mok, they brake spear and throw away, then they put Mok in sack and take him away in cart! Mok very sad, they going to feed him to big monster in forest, but Mok was saved by you!" and Mok finished with a happy smile on his face, but he a tear was rolling down a leathery cheek.
Rojo and Tial eventually decided to let the kobold stay with them, which was followed by Mok nearly crushing their waists from hugging.
The trio were now reaching the border where the mountain range where the pass to the Gali desert.
They walked among the huge mountains, when a group of bandits jumped from off the road and pointed weapons at our heroes.
"Gives us all your gold and you get to live….maybe" sneered the bandit nastily
"No, I'd rather keep it thanks" said Rojo coolly
"Then we'll take your little friend" said the bandit "Muscle, get the kobold" and at his words, a large ogre lumbered forward and bent down at the cowering Mok.
"Mok!" yelled Rojo and Tial in unison, both flying and the ogre, but he punched them with ham-sized fists, knocking them both out.
Muscle picked up Mok and took him away, the bandits fled.
Rojo and Tial woke up, it was raining, and they both got up quickly
"We have to find Mok" said the blonde elf, running off
"Wait! We can't just go…..running off" sighed the dead rogue and ran after her; they followed some ogre tracks until they saw the bandit's camp.
Drunken men were cursing and fighting, a person laughing as others did idiotic things, and tied up in a hut, was the kobold.
Rojo wanted a plan, but Tial's noble elf heritage stopped that, she ran in with a long sword yelling some elvish war cry.
Rojo, however, snuck in and cut a hole in Mok's capture hut and took the surprised kobold out as Tial began to decapitate and disembowel bandits.
The undead and the kobold sat outside the gate playing eye spy as Tial continued her bloody rampage.
After 10 minutes or so, the elf did come out, spattered with blood and said
"I looked all over but couldn't find….." she trailed off as she saw Rojo suppressing laughter
"You little bugger, you made me fight all those bandits for nothing?!" she yelled
"I didn't make you, you did it yourself" smirked the trickster undead
Tial was fuming at her own blind rage.
They took what previsions they could from the camp and set out again, along the path until they finally came to the Gali desert, off in the distance a brown dot could be seen
"Home!" grinned Rojo and headed towards the dot.
Tial frowned, Mok gaped.
They walked for what seemed like hours, until they came to the house, it was more of a two floored shack than anything.
"Well, here we are" Rojo said and walked inside.
The other two followed.
"So, the whole adventure was to get to your house?" gawped Tial
"No, it's a stopping point for some previsions" replied the undead, he grinned
"And then, the real adventure can begin"
(A.C: NEVER make me right that much again))