Me: Hi guys! This is my first Quickie in a series of shorts I'm going to be writing. Hope you enjoy!
Warning: Brief language, insanity, men in Speedos, and the list goes on…
NOW READ!
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School auditorium
"Alright everyone move it in! Play tryouts start in 5!" the teacher screamed through the microphone of the packed auditorium. Students whispered to there friends, teachers prepared to shut the doors, and the girls giggled foolishly casting glances at the boys across the room. One in particular.
"So what, exactly do we do to get picked for this thing?" Sora asked nudging his silver haired friend in the ribs. "What's this play anyway?"
Riku shrugged. "Ask Kairi."
"Kairi!"
The brunette's girl friend looked over from beside Riku. 'What?"
'What play is this?"
"It's a try out for two separate plays. One called 'See how they run' and another called 'Grease."
"No relation." Tidus piped in from the left of Sora. "Let's just get this over wit-GAH! SELPHIE let go!"
The hyper active teenage girl hugged Tidus tight around the middle from behind and squealed making the people near by cringe in pain. "I can't wait! Me and you are going to sing a song together! We'll both be the stars in Grease I know it!"
"Oh…joy…" Tidus choked.
Riku and Sora sniggered under there breath and Kairi tapped the brunette on the shoulder catching his attention with a glare.
He blinked. "What?"
"Just telling you to AT LEAST try to put some effort into this."
"What makes you think I wasn't planning too?"
The brunette smirked at her but it quickly faded as he seen nothing he was saying was working on his stubborn girlfriend.
"I'll try okay?" he said seriously. "..Just keep THAT stuff away from me."
"What stuff?"
"THAT!" Sora pointed to the first row of seats and snug in a random blonde students hand was a Mountain Dew live Wire. Its orange liquid bubbling and bursting inside its plastic container.
Kairi frowned. "What's so bad about Mountain Dew?"
Sora's face fell and his eyes shadowed dangerously. "Remember what happened back in 8th grade?"
Flashy flashable, flashback
"Sora get out here already we're waiting!" Shouted a preteen Riku standing outside his best friend's back door. Kairi teetered nearby staring at her flip-fops while drinking a glass of soda quietly. "Where is he?"
"Not sure...but I have a bad feeling." Riku muttered grimly.
"Hey, where'd all the Mountain Dew go man?" Walka shouted from the snack table. Riku's eyes widened in horror and right on queue, Sora burst from the back door clad in nothing but a tight, black Speedo with a can of mountain dew in each hand.
"BEHOLD MY SEXINESS BABY!" He roared to his shocked crowd of friends. Music blasted from the stereo and he proceeded to do some disco style 70's dance moves while beating both cans together to the drum beat.
"AUGH! My eyes! THEY BBBUURRRNN!" Tidus shrieked burying his face in the punch bowl attempting to drown himself.
"Man, we do NOT want to see that!" Walka squirmed covering his face.
"Yeah we do! Shut up!" Selphie screeched at them from behind a large black video camera. "I can get money for this!"
Unfortunately, Kairi was to busy choking on her pop and trying not to laugh in the process to stop anything. Thank fully, Riku took the opportunity to step forward and take a stand.
"Sora, drop the Mountain Dews and GET A GRIP ON YOURSELF!"
The brunette stopped and stared at the preteen as if he had just told him to stop breathing. "HOW DARE YOU INTURUPT MY SEXY DANCE! YOU ARE NOT SEXY! HA!"
"Face it Sora!" Riku smirked thrusting his chest forward. "I'm sexier then you by a mile! Give it up!"
"NNNOOOOO! YOU LIE!" without warning the brunette pounced on Riku knocking them both to the ground. Everyone backed away in fear trying to decide whether or not they should break the two up or cut in and save there lives as well.
"This is the best party ever!" Selffie smirked zooming in with the camera. 'I'm gonna go get a close up!"
(Flashy flash back ended)
Kairi laughed uncontrollably as the memory fluttered back to her earning glances from the people nearby.
Sora's face turned beat red. 'Shut up, it wasn't funny." he mumbled sinking low in his chair.
But little did they know that Riku had been listening the whole time. And the smirk on his face was a sign that everything was about to get ugly.
(Or hilarious. Counts on which way you look at it.)
"Alright students! Hush!" the teacher announced stepping into the middle of the stage. Everyone quieted down except for a few giggles and a loud burp echoing from the back.
"Now then, I'll make this quick. Each one of you will sing a song for us of your choice. After you're done, you may leave or choose to stay and watch the others perform. Up to you. This may take awhile, so drinks and refreshments may be purchased out in the lobby if needed."
A few people groaned including Sora but Riku just smirked as devilish ideas began settling in the depths of his mind.
"Alright, first up Courtney Wagner." the teacher shouted.
For the first few acts, the audience stayed quiet listening to each person sing. Waiting and watching for the slightest mistake they could jeer about. But as an hour passed, conversations started back up and people paid less attention restlessly awaiting there turn.
"Aw, come on! I want to go up!" Selphie wined in Tidus's ear. Thankfully the poor kid had his head phones in and was chatting rapidly on his Nintendo DS to Tidus from across the auditorium. Selphie had put a warrant on him to not come within 5 feet of her after he tried to poorly knock Selphie out with a bat when she tried to force Tidus to go see 'The Notebook' with her instead of going to the 'Green Day' concert with him.
Riku sat beside him with his head phones in, but with the C-D player off listening closely for Sora's loud snoring to issue any time soon.
Sure enough, within an extra 5 minutes his ear phones practically vibrated out of his ears as he turned to find his friend dead asleep.
'Well...I'm going to get something to eat. Be back in a sec."
Kairi nodded currently listening to her own C-D player put up at sonic level to block out the roaring beast beside her. Riku snuck out the auditorium door and to the snack stand scanning the pop choices.
"May I help you sir?" asked the snack boy.
"Yeah, Give me the strongest thing you have." he ordered.
The boy stared at him for a second in a 'oh-your-one-of-those-people' kind of way, and pulled out a red bull and a bud light from behind the counter. 'That'll be 25.00 sir."
Riku:…( anime sweat drop) um…no, I'm talking soda popish.
"Ah, alright then." he put the two cans to the side and pulled out a large Mountain Dew Live Wire and poured its sugary contents into a plastic cup. Riku licked his lips evilly and through down a dollar, grabbing the pop and nodding. 'Thanks."
"Just doing my job." the kid mumbled pouring the red bull and bud light into a shot glass and drinking it down.
Riku's face twitched as the smell reached his nose and he turned and ran back into the auditorium before he could see what vile things the drink would make the snack boy do.
"What took you?" Tidus asked.
"I was just choosing a good drink." the teen plopped down in his chair and glanced around. "Where's Selphie?"
"Trying to kill Walka again. The moron took a chance and tried to sneak up and around her but it didn't work."
"…Where's Walka now?"
Slowly the blonde looked straight at him with terror etched across every inch of his face and Riku did a double take.
"Yeah...I'm guessing I don't want to know right?"
"Smart answer…" and with that, he turned away and looked back down at his DS.
Remembering his evil plan, Riku turned to Sora's sleeping body and poked him in the forehead three stooges style. "HEY! Sleeping beauty!"
Slowly the brunette opened one blue eye and glared at him lazily. "What you want Riku?"
Suddenly a loud crash issued from outside the auditorium and everyone froze glancing at the double door.
"What in heavens name?"
"AURGH! LAY OFF YOU CRAZY-OW!I was just trying to-"
"STAY AWAY FROM MY TIDUS! MINE! MINE! (WHAM!)"
"AAAHH! SOMEONE GET HER AWAY FROM ME!"
Slowly all heads turned to Tidus which all could be seen of him was the tips of his spiky blonde hair sense he had sunk as low as he could into the depths his seat.
The teacher stood up from her chair and walked up to the microphone shakily. "Alright….um, all of you stay here…till I settle what's going on outside." She glanced at the list and nodded to herself. "Next up is Sora Hikari. you can prepare yourself until...until I get back." With that, she threw the list to the ground and stormed out the double doors without another word.
Many students turned and stared at Sora before regaining there usual, senseless chatter. The brunette yawned and rubbed his blue eyes preparing to stand up. Riku took the opportunity to shove the hidden drink in front of his face and paste on an innocent smile. "Here Sora, This'll help you wake up."
Assuming the fact the poor, POOR teen was barely awake, his girlfriend had her earphones on at full blast, Tidus was in denial, Selphie was busy killing Walka, and his best friend was the evil psycho behind the whole scheme, no one could stop him as he put the edge of the cup to his lips and drank the whole sugary substance in two gulps.
"Alright, knock e'm dead Sora!" Riku urged pushing his friend out into the aisle. Heads turned glancing at him and Riku plopped down on the edge of his seat not even trying to hide the devilish smirk which had over powered him at last.
"…What did you do Riku?" Tidus asked glancing slightly at his deranged friend.
"Watch and learn Tidus."
As Sora slowly began to make his way to the stage, the pop began kicking in with every step he took. Stars danced in front of his eyes and his heart seemed to skip a beat as voices and thoughts screamed through his head mixing with reality.
'Um…I need to sing…something… yeah that's it! I need to impress them!"
Quietly he stepped up onto the stage feeling the lights blare down upon him. The crowd continued with its chatter barely noticing the psychotic moron that had just planted itself before there very eyes. He skimmed the room looking for anything, or anyone that could spark an idea in his head willing to let loose the rush of sugar in his body.
Unfortunately and thankfully for our enjoyment, his eyes fell upon
Riku.
"THAT'S IT!" he shrieked full blast into the microphone. Everyone froze once again and turned there attention back to the stage. A wide grin spread across Sora's face and his eyes sparkled as he took the microphone in his hand and spoke.
"I'd like to dedicate this song to my one and only love, Riku!"
The audience gasped and awed now paying full attention to the situation. Heads turned and bodies moved trying to find or get a glimpse of the brunettes so called 'lover.'
Tidus turned to Riku whose face had drained to a dead white color at hearing Sora's announcement.
"..I've herd of back fire, but this has got to be one lucky shot." the blonde chuckled leaning back in his chair casually.
Riku's face twitched. "K-Kairi…." But the red head was gone from her seat with nothing but a note in her place which read:
"Went to call my Dad to tell him I'm staying late. Be back in 5 minutes."
"BUT THAT'S TO LONG!" he shrieked tearing at the letter frantically. "Damn, Kairi why? Why?"
"Shut up, he's starting!" Tidus smirked.
Silently, as everyone held there breaths, Sora burst into song horribly off key and at sonic level:
'Every night in my dreams! I see you!
I FEEEELLLL you! That is how I know you!
Hold on!'
At that moment Kairi came walking in to the auditorium and stopped as she seen her boyfriend on stage singing a…love song?
"Aww...how sweet!" she squealed. "I never knew he was that dedicated."
"I know, shocking isn't it?" said the guy sitting in the row next to her. "Who would have thought him and Riku were actually a couple!"
Kairi's eyes widened. "WHAT?"
'Yeah I know. Not many gays around here except in fan fictions. There's a lot in those I'll tell you."
"I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!" She screeched.
Riku who was trying as hard as he could to suffocate himself in the remaining shreds of Kairi's note, glanced up at Tidus who was grinning ear to ear at the fact someone else was getting all the humiliation for once.
'Love can touch us one time!
And last for, a LLLLIIFFFEEEE! Time!
And never let go till, we're GGOONNEEEE!'
"I wish I were gone, how I WISH! Tidus, kill me now!" Riku screamed.
The blonde frowned at him. "Hell no! If I have to suffer, you have to suffer! Fair is fair."
"I said kill me damn it!"
"Make me!"
With that, the teen launched himself on Tidus with a cry trying desperately to get him to choke him.
"GAH! GET OFF!"
"I will when you kill me!"
"You'll be dead! You won't be able to do anything!"
"THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM!"
'NNNEEARRR FFAAARR!
WHERE EEVVVEERRRRR! You arrree!
I believe that the heart does, GO OONNNNN!'
Suddenly, just as the crowd was getting into it, Kairi stormed up onto the stage wrenching the microphone from her boyfriends grip.
Sora glared. "HEY! I wasn't done!"
'Well you are now! Jerk!" Swiftly she punched Sora across the face knocking him off the stage with a cry. Everyone's eyes widened as they stared from the knocked out brunette to the crazed red head wondering what insanity would soon fallow.
"This is for you Sora." Kairi hissed into the microphone.
'Here's a thing, we started out friends.
It was cool, but it was all pretend. Yeah, yeah, sense you been gone! And how you always here me say, How I picture me with you, How come you never felt that way? But sense you've been gone! I can breathe for the first time!'
The audience gasped, amazed that the girl could actually sing! Riku and Tidus froze on the floor, glancing up at Kairi with wide eyes.
"Where'd Sora go?"
"He's on the floor."
"WHAT?" Riku jumped to his feet almost stepping on Tidus in the process. Sora lay at the base of the stage with swirls in his eyes. Knowing all of this was his fault and finally understanding the meaning of Kairi's song, he knew he had to do something to fix the whole situation.
'Tidus, I'm sorry for trying to get you to kill me. But I need your help."
"For what?" he asked. "What are you going to do now?"
"You'll see." he smirked at him. "I got a plan."
KKKKKKKKKKK Intermission KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
Yeah, I know that's not Sora's real last name and I know its been used before, but come on people. You gotta admit it fits him.
BLAHBLAHBLAH!…….RESSUME!
As quickly as they could, the two teens rushed from the auditorium and to the Snack bar where the snack boy stood slumped over the counter with the beer and red bull in hand.
Tidus glanced at Riku confused but the smirk on his face said it all.
"Hey snack boy!" Riku called.
The kid looked up drunkenly and set his unfocused eyes on Riku. "H-hey. You come back to buy it?" he asked holding up the bottle.
"Um…no."
"Please?" he pleaded desperately. "I need to make some money here!"
Riku thought for a moment. "…I'll by it on ONE condition."
"I'll do anything, as long as you cough up 25.00"
"Deal."
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As Kairi neared the middle of her song, Sora gradually began to come to himself. Lights flickered before his eyes and he raised his head several inches to see the crowd before him staring up at the stage intensely.
"…huh?"
But before he could look up, the double doors to the auditorium burst open and the snack boy stood with open arms singing to the audience. Kairi's song faltered and the audience turned laughing at the sudden outburst.
"In the town where I was born
Lived a man who sailed to sea
And he told us of his life
in the land of submarines!
So we sailed up to the sun
Till we found the sea of green
And we lived beneath the waves
In our yellow submarine!"
While the audience was distracted, Riku nodded to Tidus and they both split off in different directions. The blonde streaked down the nearby row of students and found Riku's C-d player at his seat where he had left it. He could just make out Sora's head down below the edge of the stage and raced off to his friend's aid.
"Hey, Sora!"
The brunette glanced up rubbing his cheek wearily. "Tidus, what's going on?"
"Um…." he cleared his throat nervously. 'To sum it up shortly, ITS ALL RIKU'S FAULT!"
Sora blinked. "What did he do?"
"He slipped you Mountain Dew Live Wire before you went up to sing."
"HE DID WHAT?" the brunette stared horrified at his friend trying to find any clue or hint that it was nothing but a joke, but the bruise throbbing on the side of his own face was convincing enough. "..Tidus, as a friend tell me what the hell I did."
"…..Um…..Yousangasongtorikusayingyoulovedhimandnowekairithinksyourcheatingonheroverriku!" he said quickly. Unfortunately being around Kairi and Selphie for so long Sora understood every last word.
"And then what did she do?" he asked painfully.
"…She sang Kelly Clarkson's 'sense you've been gone" after she knocked you out."
For a second the brunette just stared at him listening to the blaring, off key voice of the snack guy continue with his song and anger flared inside him. "Where's that no good sorry bastard? He is BEYOND dead!"
"Heh… as he wishes." Tidus mumbled.
'What?"
"Never mind, But listen Sora, he's going to make it up to you by getting you and Kairi back together!"
"…how?" he asked suspiciously.
"Fallow me and you'll see." The teen grabbed his friend by the back of the shirt and practically yanked him up on the stage. All heads were turned and clapping at the snack man as he finished up his song bowing continuously. Kairi stood stock still glaring down at the people with rage in her eyes near the microphone. As soon as she seen Sora she gripped the microphone tightly.
"Get off the stage moron! I'm not through with you yet!"
"Kairi I didn't mean it!" he yelled frantically. "I didn't know what I was doing!"
"How could you NOT know that you were singing a love song to Riku? Why didn't you tell me you were gay? Jeez Sora!"
The brunettes face paled slightly and he struggled to find the right words. 'Um…I'm not gay and it was an acci-….God, I'm just going to say it. IT'S ALL RIKUS FAULT!"
By now the whole auditorium had turned there attention back to the fighting couple after dragging the snack boy back out to the bar. Kairi and Sora simply stared at each other with Tidus backing away slowly to the curtain.
"Might be a good time to show UP Riku!" he hissed.
"Come on spiky! Where's your love Riku? We want some action!" Shouted a random boy sitting in the front row. Others shouted in agreement and Sora felt like doing nothing more then sinking through the wood of the stage floor and out of sight. Kairi's hand shook uncontrollably and withy a cry of rag went to chuck the microphone at the random kids head, but a hand stopped her from behind.
"Kairi, hold it!"
The red head turned to find herself face to face with the silver haired teen that had started the whole mess and her eyes flared dangerously. "YOU!" She raised the microphone threateningly, but sense Riku was quicker he swiped the thing from her hand and took a step back holding it out like a sword. "Kairi, calm down!"
'But you and So-"
"Kairi! Just…chill." Tidus ordered slowly having much experience with Selphie.
Realizing she was making a fool of herself, the teenager nodded and crossed her arms over her chest glowering at the three. Murmurs irrupted around the room once again and Riku cleared his throat nervously feeling Kairi and Sora's deadly gaze piercing into him.
"Alright, everyone listen up!"
The audience ceased its discussion and watched Riku looking for any sign of a ring, marriage, or proposal that would sum up the whole insane show. Riku sensed there perverted, of the edge minds and decided to get to the point.
"Alright, first off! Me and Sora are NOT gay! Got it? Sora loves Kairi! And I love…well girls. Get it straight!"
Disappointing moans echoed through the crowd and with one nasty look from the 4, they shut up.
"And the whole reason Sora did that song was because I slipped him Mountain Dew live Wire. And the few of you who attended his party several years ago know what kind of a…..stunning effect that can have on him."
Several laughs erupted from the students and immediately began telling there neighbors of the event sparing Sora the embarrassment of having Riku explain the whole story.
"So anyway, Kairi don't hate Sora and…don't hate me either but...I guess I'm, the only one you have to hate."
Kairi stood silently glancing from him to her boyfriend who had gone red in the face. Tidus snickered silently to himself earning a harsh nudge in the ribs from Riku.
They all stood silently waiting.
"…Alright...I forgive you."
Sora smirked and Riku let out a sigh of relief. But Kairi wasn't done just yet.
"But on ONE condition! And this goes for both of you."
Sora and Riku looked at each other fearfully and back at the red head. "….yes?"
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( 5 minutes later…)
From the back of the auditorium the teacher burst in with a look of pure terror hitched across her face. Her hair hung raggedly from either side of her head and an ice pack was pressed at the top of her skull.
"Alright, everyone shut up!" She screeched to the chattering audience. Quietly she took her seat and glanced up at the stage. 'Where's Sora? He's up next."
"Um…actually." Kairi announced walking up to the microphone. "This performance is going to be performed by both Sora AND Riku."
"Oh...really?" he teacher spoke coolly. "Fine, fine. Get them out here."
Kairi nodded trying to keep a straight face as she stuck her head behind the curtains and motioned for Tidus to start the music.
With a click of the stereo, disco 70's music burst from the left and right speakers of the stage throwing the teacher completely off guard. The students sat on the edge of there seats waiting to see what would happen, and with a loud holler Sora and Riku came sliding across the stage to the microphone clad in nothing but a black and blue Speedo and beat red faces. The audience gasped in shock and Kairi practically fell of the stage laughing when they burst into song:
'I believe in miracles!
Where you from?
You sexy thing!
I believe in miracles!
Since you came along
You sexy thing!'
Kiss me you sexy thing!
Touch me babe you sexy thing!
I love the way you touch me darling you sexy thing
Sexticy you sexy thing !
Yesterday I was of the alone of people!
Now you lying cross from me making love to me!'
The audience roared with laughter and Tidus could barely control himself as him and Kairi slapped high five.
"This is your best idea yet!"
"Why thank you." She smirked importantly. 'Serves them right."
Suddenly a loud 'SQUEEEEE!' erupted threw the air and Selphie pounced on Tidus from behind.
"AAH! Where'd you come from?"
"The office!" She told the blonde squeezing him to death. "That dumb Walka put me under house arrest! The nerve of him!"
"…For how long?" Tidus asked bravely.
"A month!"
Tidus looked up from the ground and could just make out Walka from the other side of the curtains give him thumbs up. Relief spread through him and he nodded at his best friend thankfully. "Halleluiah there is a god! And his names Sir Walka!"
Kairi smiled and glanced out at the audience who by now had started to get into the act. Sora and Riku were waltzing across the stage as the music broke into a breaking point and the final verse came into play:
'I believe in miracles!
Where you from?
You sexy thing!
I believe in miracles
Since you came along
You sexy thing
Touch Me!
Kiss me darling!
I love the way you hold me darling!
Sexticy !
It's Sexticy!'
The crowd burst into applause and Sora and Riku took a quick bow before running into the safety of the curtains. They glared at Kairi who gave them thumbs up and ran into the back of the stage to get there clothes on without a word.
"This has been the craziest day ever." Sora mumbled slipping his shirt on.
"..Yeah, but we did good didn't we?"
Sora turned to Riku waiting until he buckled his pants to give him a small high five. "Yeah, I guess we did good. At least Kairi thinks so."
Riku shrugged and pulled his shirt quickly over his head as Sora began walking toward the door. "I'll see you tomorrow."
The brunette waved behind him at his friend and just before he pulled the handle to the stage door, Riku's voice met his ears.
"I believe in miracles…you sexy thin-"
'Riku."
His friend jumped. 'What?"
"Don't do that."
"…Shutting up."
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And so as the story ends, each person sang and went home to there usual lives. The casting list went up a week later and for our insane heroes, they go the parts they ALWAYS wanted:
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M SANDY IN GREASE?" Sora screeched reading the list over for the 15th time.
Riku shrugged innocently biting his tongue to keep from laughing. Kairi paid little attention due to the fact she got lead role in "See how they run."
"It won't be that bad Sora." She exclaimed. "It'll be a good experience for you."
"No it won't." Tidus piped in reviewing over his own copy of the casting list. He had become more active then usual ever sense Selphie was put under house arrest. "Did you guys see who's playing Danny Zuko?"
All three of them looked down at there lists. "Yeah, Greg Thomas."
"I never herd of him." Sora said suspiciously.
"Oh yes you have. " The blonde smirked. "He's the snack boy."
All three of them stood stock still at Tidus's words and slowly Sora sunk to the floor banging his head against the glass tile.
"Um…excuse me.' Riku whispered hoarsely. Everyone watched as the teen walked over to the other side of the hallway and started laughing his ass off till tears came streaming down his face.
Now extremely pissed, Sora got up enough strength from his humiliation and stormed over to Riku with flames of rage in his eyes. "MORON YOU ARE SO DEAD!"
"What Sor- OWW! HEY LAY OFF!"
Tidus chuckled softly to himself plopping a sucker into his mouth and walking in the other direction. "I'm heading home guys. See ya."
"Um...yeah me too." Kairi announced nervously. 'See you guys later."
And so it ended. Sora got a lead role, and as for Riku……………………….…well we'll let you decide.
Fine
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Me: So what you think? I loved this story! And it took a lot of thinking and a lot of sugar to create. This is only the first out of many quickies I'm going to be writing.
Please review!