11.9
My name is Laffner, and today I turn eleven point nine. No, it's useless to spell it out. Allow me to explain. I was born on 7 August 2005, and I turned 11.9 on 1 July 2017...today!
How do I figure that out? Well, I was eleven in 2016. Ninety percent of twelve months is 10.8, so I had to wait until after ten months had elapsed, which means not till after 7 June. Then eighty percent of thirty days is twenty-four, so not till twenty-four days following the seventh of June would I be 11.9. Now I have attained this awesome age, I hope it will never end!
You may be wondering why I would be so eager to turn 11.9. It's an age with a decimal point; it can't be anything special. Well, you're wrong. Accoriding to my calculations, Peter Pan was exactly 11.9.
Peter Pan is my hero. He will never have to go to work in his father's lumbermill, have sweaty palms or drive a tractor. He will never be forced to sell widgets at the local corner store, or steal money from a bank because he hasn't paid the bills in fifty years. He will always be a child, where he can laugh and play all day.
What am I so afraid of, that I don't want to grow up? Well, I can't live up to my father's standards. He wants me to be at least the third best duelist at Duel Academy when I attend there in three years, but I don't want to. All I want is to enjoy the monsters for their aesthetic value. I hate dueling, and it's not because I never win. The only time I ever managed to be victorious in a duel was when I pulled out Red-Moon Baby and discovered a trick with it. But Red-Moon Baby is now banned, and I only have one in my possession, anyhow.
At three P.M. today, I will meet my babysitter. I keep telling Mum and Dad that I'm getting too old for this sort of thing, but they won't listen.
"How do you expect me to be a top-duelist if someone's watching me all the time?" I ask father.
"Mindy is an excellent duelist in her own right. Even I lost to her, and you know how tough I am to defeat."
Actually, dueling my father was like dueling a rubber band. He didn't even know the difference between Morphing Jar and Morphing Jar #2! I don't count the times I beat him.
Mindy knocks on the door, and I answer. She looks very pretty for a seventeen-year-old, but I'm too young to think about girls. Dad takes her coat, and my parents leave me all alone with this stranger on my 11.9th birthday.
She takes off her wig, which made her appear to have brown hair. Really, she's a blond. Then she goes to the bathroom, and when Mindy returns she is wearing a pink and blue outfit that makes her look exactly like Dark Magician Girl!
"I am who you think I am," she says, "and I'm going to take you with me to the Dominion of the Beasts so that you can appear in your true form."
"My true form?"
"You are a Duel Monster, Laffner."
"This must be some kind of joke," I say, staring at her incredulously.
"Is this a joke?" she asks. A bubble appears around me, and I am lifted off the ground.
She pinpricks the bubble with a needle, and I fall dismally to the floor, breaking a lamp and a coffee table. I worry about what will happen when my parents find out, but Mindy (Dark Magician Girl) puts her arm around my nape and pulls me through the front door.
There is a Spear Dragon there, and he sticks his spade-shaped nose in my foot. I expect to feel pain, but it goes right through. And then my body begins to change...
I am no longer Laffner, a boy of 11.9 years. I am now Snapesnatch, the most respected of all one-tribute gaming monsters. At least that's what I tell myself. Sometimes I wonder if I ever had Snapesnatch in my deck; I think I must've. After all, how can I be Snapesnatch if I never used him?
Red-Moon Baby is my partner. She is a bat with a heart that reflects the moon whenever you gaze at her chest area. She has the most blinding red eyes...
We are obliged to raid cities, such as Tacceloy. There Karate Man, Hitonsu-Me Giant, and Toon Alligator tried to stop our progress. Karate Man kicked himself. Hitonsu-Me Giant couldn't see Red-Moon Baby bite his one eyes. Toon Alligator kept dodging our attacks, until I pulled out Sword of Deep-Seated, which slashed him into forty-thousand bits which are spread across the gate to Taccelay.
The bat and I stole a Black Pendant and Magic Cylinder, as well as a Cyclone Boomerang. We think the latter belongs to one of the E-Heroes; perhaps we can induce him to fight on our side. For the battle is near, and we can use all the help we can get.