Disclaimer: Let's see, what would I do if I owned South Park? The show is so screwed up enough (in a funny way) that I don't know how I can make it any more screwed up than it already is (unless having a little bit of slash hints here and there for my own amusements count, but come on! What fangirl doesn't want that?). Oh well. The point is that I don't own South Park, so don't come after me with lawyers.

Preface:

Ah, the typical "new girl" story. You all know how that goes. Girl moves into small town, goes to high school, meets a bunch of boys and is instantly friends with them. You all watch and/or read about her experiences, and see which boy likes her and which boy she will end up liking. Basically, every girl's dream come true, at least at some point in their life. (Don't lie. You've all had this fantasy.)

Yeah, this is not that story.

I wish it was. Things would be much simpler for my new life in this small mountain town in Colorado. I would love to have most, if not all, of the guys like me. (Once again, don't hate me right away for dreaming; you've dreamt of this too at some point.) I'd like to say that the guys I get to know are to be my love interests, and I might admit that some of them have some very endearing qualities (yes, even the fat jackass of the group).

But I haven't had time for love. Not since all this crap has fallen on me.

Especially not now, when those certain friends and I are running through the forest, trying to escape some men who have something planned for our home. We need to get through the forest, to the outskirts of town, in order to get help. We can't stop these people on our own; there are too many, and their guns say a lot of what kind of advantage the four of us has against them. We need reinforcements.

But I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I? You don't want to know what I'm facing now. You want to know how it got to be this way. What bullshit me and three other dudes had to go through to get to this point.

I don't get why you'd want to, perhaps to escape the "new girl" cliché. I don't know; I can't read your mind. But I know that, personally, I'd rather read, or watch, something as dumb and whimsical as a girl surrounded by a bunch of love interests, instead of some weird twist of it, where the girl has to face more shit than she can probably handle.

But I might as well, since you're already inside my head, for some reason or another. I will warn you though—it's not going to be pretty. You're a pretty brave person if you want to hear this tale so badly.

So, come on! Let's go back a few months, to mid-to late September, when I officially moved to South Park, Colorado—my new home.

Dear sweet Jesus H. Christ, I swore I'd never do something like this, but oh well—the damage is done. Frankly, I got bored, and it's the summer, and I've got nothing better to do than write something to entertain me.

Well, let's see if you like it, since people in this fandom seem to like these South Park OC stories so far.

Name: Lisa Claudio

Gender: Female

Age: 16

Hair: Brown

Skin color: light tan

Eye color: Brown

Outfit: cream sweater, jeans, navy winter coat, a black hat and sneakers

Personality: Wouldn't it be nice if you learned that as you read along?

History: Classified, but will be revealed as the story goes on

Crush: Don't know. Kinda changes a lot, because she doesn't have time to concentrate on boys when there is so much plot going on. :D

Likes: Anything as long as it isn't too sweet.

Enemies: Also classified (yeah, I like to give surprises)

Other: Moved from New York in order to get a new "atmosphere" (coincides with her past)