CHAPTER 1

What does it feel like when the one you love leaves forever? They leave with their unwinding faith, and to never be seen again. What happens when the one you love, knows that they will go, and tell you when you feel that everything is perfect? Nothing would be the answer. When you go to their funeral you can cry your heart out and tell everyone how sad and depressed you would be. You might live the next 5 years of your life, feeling and wishing that the person never left you alone in this cold world. But, the mere fact is they have left you alone, and it's not because of the cancer or sickness or the accident. It's because they believe that they must leave, without a goodbye. They must leave without a clue, or wave or a whisper. They need to leave, but without you. With every breath you take it kills you inside. You feel that everything was your fault, your mistake. It's not. They had just wanted sickness.

NOT

"When the one you love leaves, it's your fault."

Nikita's P.O.V.

"So, what's your name again?"

Nikita was actually my real name, but I guess I was known as Nikki.

"Whatever" I thought in my head.

"Yea, um my name is…." I trailed of as one of the hottest guys I have ever seen came through the door. We were just right outside the room. He had mumbled something under his breath, and it seemed like he was staring right at me. Then his face turned red right away.

"Her name is Nikita, but her nick name that everybody calls her is Nikki." The hot guy answered.

"How did you know my name?" I asked. I had, by now, turned around and stared at him and didn't even dare to blink. That was just how HOT he was.

"Well they say that if a model walks in you would know her name." he answered.

"But….." once again I had trailed off.

"You're not a model, are you?" he asked with a smile.

"No, there's no Cindy Crawford standing right here." I answered again. I don't know what it was, but it made me smile when his eyes looked at me. It made my stomach twist and turn when he spoke.

"Ha-ha." We both laughed.

"I like your laugh." He commented. "It's nice."

"Thanks."

"I'm I'm ….." He trailed off. His face started getting red and it looked like he was getting sick. "I'm Drew."

"Are you okay? You look a little sick!" I questioned.

"Yea, it's just that it's hard to speak with a model in front of me." Drew quickly said.

I blushed and looked the other way, still smiling. I had no idea that there was a big, black karate gear bag in front of me. By accident, I feel backwards and I thought I would hit the ground. Instead, I felt the softest hands catch me. I closed my eyes and was soon brought back up; I was so silly and I fell so easily that I was about to fall again, but instead I was carried closer and closer. It felt warm; it felt like an angel had caught me. By now I had opened my eyes. Drew had lifted me and caught me. We were in such a pose that it looked like that classic movie pose where the girl falls and the guy of her dreams catches her. As far as I recall, this has happened almost four times in all my favorite romance movies. Beside the point, it was one of those poses that you would see in those movies.

We stared at each other for a good minute. As seconds feel by, I think I felt like I liked him more. It wasn't just because he was hot; it was also because he was nice, always complimenting, and caught me when I fell. But, this feeling wasn't the feeling I got when I saw David (ONE OF THE CUTEST GUYS IN MY SCHOOL! EEEKKKK! ) Walking down the hallway, or shake my hand. It was this warm, twisting feeling that I had never gotten before. Before I could even say thank him, he looked faint and got pale. He then left and ran upstairs. I have no idea what to do. Instead of chasing him, I entered the room and bowed. I then started my warm up.

It was the look of confusion and that pale face that really got me worried. I mean the guy who just caught me had now left, and without a goodbye. It was a guy that I barely knew, and I was acting like he had left me alone for the past week. I was acting like he was my husband or something. Well, that's what Anthony told me. Anthony was one of my friends at karate. I believe Anthony was the first friend I had met here at the karate school. He introduced himself to me, we shook hands and ever since then we always talk, wave or play around. We would sometimes talk about the car we would drive home with our parent(s). We would even talk about high school, afterschool activities, our home, people, or just other random stuff. Beside the point again, I really don't know what happened. By the time I was half way through my warm up, Drew came rushing down, looked at me, smiled and then started from the point I was at; half way through the warm up.

Drew's P.O.V

Ugh, now I'm getting angry. I can't even get the move right! It's supposed to be left, right, left, and then kick! Wow, I'll never get my kata right by the end of the day! (Enters trough door) Oh great it's David! Always hitting on the ladies…. Wait isn't that Nikita? Wow she looks so…."Pretty" CRAP! I DID NOT JUST SAY THAT OUTLOUD! SHIT! I hope she didn't hear me. Great, and thank god, she didn't even notice. What are David and her talking about? Please don't ask her out, please don't. Otherwise I swear to god I'll kill him in his sleep.

Wow! Do not tell me he just asked what her name was!

"Her name is Nikita, but her nick name that everybody calls her is Nikki." I answered before she even got the chance to speak.

"DAMN" I thought. "That's so stalkerish to say! I bet she would think I'm a weirdo or something like that."

"How did you know my name?" she asked. By now she had turned around looking at me. That's when I got to see her deep brown eyes sparkle over the reflection of my watch.

Crap! I better think of something smooth to say. Let's go Drew! Let's work some magic!

"Well they say that if a model walks in you would know her name." I answered.

SERIOUSLY! Is that as SMOOTH as I can go!

"But….." once again she had trailed off. And once again I had cut her off. Damn I have to stop doing that.

"You're not a model, are you?" I asked her. I didn't realize that this whole time I was scaring. Yes, I mean scaring. I guess she was so pretty I even didn't get the chance to turn my frown, well, upside down.

"WTF AM I THINKING!" I thought. At least I could cut her one of my legendary smiles.

"No, there's no Cindy Crawford standing right here!" she answered. That was a weird answer. Most girls would blush or come up to me or something! Why did she just turn the whole thing around? As weird of an answer as that was, the least I could do was cut her some slack, and give a little chuckle.

"Ha-ha." We both laughed. That came out o.k.

"I like your laugh." I commented. "It's nice." Once again I had gone for my smooth lines; waiting for her to say something sweet or flirty.

"Thanks."

Was that all she said? "Thanks" was all that she said after I said one of the smoothest lines I could think of.

"I'm I'm ….." this time I had trailed off. My face started getting red and it looked like I was getting sick. "I'm Drew." I finally spit out. Something felt weird in my body.

"Are you okay? You look a little sick!" she questioned.

"Yea, it's just that it's hard to speak with a model in front of me!" I quickly said. When I had finally finished my sentence, she turned slightly around to face David. She smiled, and I wasn't even sure if it was a smile. It was so slight and small that it pretty much seemed like she was playing hard to get. She wasn't acting like the girls in my school. As she turned around, she stumbled. That's when she fell.

Instead of watching her fall, I reach out and grabbed her. I looked at David and he looked like he was about to stab me. That was just how angry he was when I caught her. She tried to stand up, but some idiot placed a helmet right there, and she fell again, luckily I just pulled her tighter into me. Just right then and there, I realized something. I realized that I had to leave before something bad happened. I remembered why I don't even have a girlfriend. And it wasn't because I was ugly. Trust me; over half of the girls in my school fall for me. They become so flirty with me it's obvious that they had fallen head over heels for me. And all the guys just stare at me and wonder how I did it. I tell then why, that's because I was Drew Robinson. One of the smoothest guys in our grade, yes I was a softmore in high school who was getting girls falling over me from different grades, and schools. Beside my point, I realized why I couldn't have a girlfriend. I realized why I couldn't fall for girls and why I couldn't go out with them. It would break them apart, into the glass vases that fall when you give them a little push.

I left, but first I stood her straight. All of a sudden I realized something was wrong and not the wrong that I had mentioned earlier. Wrong like something I was feeling. I didn't even let her finish her sentence. I had ran upstairs and all that she could do was stare at me. Wondering why I had left. She had no idea what was going on. She had no idea what and who I was. All she knew was my name, and that's all she was going to know.

When I took my medication and checked if I was ok, my dad had come upstairs to check if I was ok as well. I nodded.

"Ugh! I left Nikita all alone, wondering what happened." I whispered under my breath. I had to make sure my dad didn't hear it. He knew that every girl I fell for broke my heart, or cheated on me or something like that because they thought I would be dead by then. Or it would just break them apart and they would want to break up because they didn't know what would happen to me tomorrow or the next day or the day after that. They just didn't want to put up with it. And like every time, I didn't listen to my dad. So by the next day I was broken hearted and pretty much wanted to kill somebody. Anyway, I had to make sure my dad didn't hear me. My dad was looking around for something in the room, and instead of asking; I left the room and looked down at the balcony. There she was. Just standing there, all cute and confused. I had to admit she did looked a little freaked out I guess. But, the more I stared at her, the more I wanted to just jump down, kiss her, take her out to dinner, and…. Well, actually that was as far as I wanted to take it with her. It, I mean the feelings I got weren't the feelings or emotions I had towards other girls. When I looked at her, it felt warm. It felt like I really could like her. But, not because she was hot. And trust me, she was HOT. But, she did actually have something underneath all that. She had something that I guess I could hold on too.

"Son, don't do this again!" my dad said.

I had no idea he was behind me! I whooped around and stared at him. I was so angry and embarrassed that he was watching me the whole time.

"I'm trying dad. It's just… she's so different. She's not like any of the girls at school. She actually has something beneath there." I answered. I was really hoping he would find something in his old, crinkly heart to say that "you cannot deny the affairs and passion of the heart" or something as deep like that. My dad would always come up with these deep quotes, he use to be a poet when he was younger. But that was probably in the 50's or something like that.

I tried and tried not to fall for her, but I was just falling harder and harder. I couldn't bear it any longer.

"Do you believe in love at first sight?"