Prompt: The Worst Smelling Neighbor Around
A/N: This was written long ago, before Guardian was even a confirmed class, so it's probably not entirely lore-compliant. Short characterization blurbs for my planned Human Ele and Sylvari Guardian (I called her a Crusader, since Guardian's class name was unconfirmed).
I don't own anything, it's all ArenaNet's!
Sylvari Crusader
Wood creaked softly as I trod the timber paths of the Grove. I have never been the ambient, natural type that most of my race are. To be sure, I am quieter than a Human or Norn, but the Dream that was Dreamed for me was to be a crusader for nature, a paragon of the forest—not a soft-footed ranger, but an armored defender of Tyria.
I slowed down as I reached the hut that my Lieutenant had directed me to. Normally I am against petty squabbling, preferring to focus on the dragons devouring our world over the intricacies of neighbors' politics, but in this particular case, the complaint was valid. Nobody could get work done with a neighbor this pungent beside them. This acrid, smoky odor smelled like it was from the Nightmares that crept into my subconscious on particularly bad nights.
I straightened and took a deep breath before knocking on the hut's door to confront the source of the odor. The door swung open, squeaking on rusty hinges, and I stepped inside. I held up my badge of office, a rare bit of bark coaxed to grow pale in certain places to spell out my credentials.
"Vayle of the Autumn here, from the Thorns of the Grove. We've received complaints regarding the unsavory—what in the Pale Tree's name is that?" The broad-faced Asuran female inside looked up at me sheepishly, standing in front of the heap of smoldering leaves as though obscuring it would put it out of my mind.
"It was supposed to be a prototype comprised of recycled bits from nature but the thermocoupling compound needs to be modified apparently, because most golems don't incinerate when the primary combustion rune is activated and I think perhaps a little more flame retardant is in order."
"Right. Well I think you'd be correct. Do you Asurans think before you tinker? It's a noble idea but don't you think you'd best experiment with flammable objects away from a city made of wood?"
She merely shuffled her feet in reply.
I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. She obviously meant well, but the other races simply can't fathom that what nature gives us must one day be taken from us in return. What sort of punishment was appropriate, when the intention was positive but the cost of failure was a potential holocaust? A spark of light went off in my head. "Perhaps..." I said slowly. "Perhaps I should send you to lessons with the newly-budded of my kind. You could learn of the cycles of nature, and the proper ways to reuse nature's bounty."
The squat, pale Asuran looked up at me excitedly and began to speak in her high, nasal voice. "Really! I've always wanted to learn the inherent intricacies of Earth-based communal magic. This is such a wonderful opportunity, it's why I moved here really, I'm so very thrilled you thought of me and-"
As she prattled on, I forced the benevolent smile taught by the Thorns onto my face and nodded my head to indicate that the conversation was effectively over. She began to bustle about the hut, piling scrolls and books in bags and absentmindedly pushing the embers of the golem to a corner to extinguish (carrying on a dialogue with herself the entire time, might I add). I took the moment to slip out of the hut and close the door quietly behind me. Walking away I smiled softly, secure in the knowledge that this ratlike lover of explosions was no longer my problem.
Human Elementalist
He winked at me. Logan Thackeray, descendant of the famous Gwen, officer in the Ebon Vanguard, and he winked at me. At least, I'm pretty sure it was at me. There were other people around, as is to be expected at a New Years' celebration, but surely my astute fashion and long, coppery hair made me the highlight of the crowd.
The crowd began dispersing after the festivities, and I ambled home, enjoying the scenery. Not to my parents' house, where I'd certainly be welcome, but to the boarding rooms at the Divinity's Reach Academy of Truth. I'd scrimped and saved, working long hours as a supply clerk and scribe for the Ebon Vanguard, to afford this school. You see, I have an affinity for air. Not only do I breathe it like every other person on Tyria, but I make friends with it, a rare ability. My parents thought I was losing sanity faster than Shiro Tagachi when I began speaking with thin air and levitating, since nobody else in my family has magical talent.
The combination of school and the Ebon Vanguard is rough, but it certainly gives me focus. I have many goals: to help drive the dragons from Tyria, to explore the elements, and (newly added to my list) to marry Logan Thackeray. I sighed, knowing I'd probably never even meet the man.
When I opened the door to my shared room, I was assaulted with an almost tangible wall of stench. It reeked of organic matter and decay. A quick survey of the room told me exactly what had happened. My roommate, a Charr necromancer, had apparently attempted to conjure some trees using earth magic. He was currently attempting to claw through the banana tree in the middle of the room, but it wasn't doing him much good. Any time a banana fell to the floor, it would decay upon impact and burst, leaving him in an ever-thicker pool of tropical, necromantic sludge.
"Stop struggling!" I exclaimed. "By Dwayna and Kormir, if you let another one of those bananas fall I'll...I'll..." I didn't know what I'd do. He stopped struggling, one furry arm above his head, and shot back a reply.
"Gods be damned!" he snarled. "If gods have anything to do with necrotic fruit, I'll be a Norn's uncle!"
I sniggered. "Well some of the Norn are awfully furry. They're almost as fuzzy and cute as you Charr!" He glared at me and shifted towards me, as if to demonstrate that he was, in fact, the opposite of fuzzy and cute. The movement dislodged a large bunch of bananas and it began to fall off of his short, pubescent horns. With disaster impending, I covered my nose and exited the room, shutting the door firmly behind me. There was a soft 'splat', and a string of curses followed.
Well, something had to be done here. I couldn't sleep in a room smelling of fetid fruit, and he certainly didn't want to be called 'Banana Brains' by the rest of the school, much less have fruity fur for weeks. In my mind, there was only one solution. Turning to the door, I pulled my scepter from my belt and traced a wavy symbol in the air. I called inside, "Hold your breath!" and gave the symbol a nudge of power. A moment later there was a soggy yelp, and water began seeping out from under the door. I withdrew my power (too much! but it's my prerogative since I'm still a student, right?) and opened the door to find an extremely damp, extremely unhappy roommate glaring at me, eyes dark as Nightfall.
I glanced down sheepishly. "Not to worry! I'll soon have this fixed up!" He didn't answer, merely stamped out of the room to wait. I outlined a sphere with my cupped palms and whispered to the air, then drew them apart until my arms were level with the ground and my palms were facing outwards. I let out a slow, hot breath, and then brought my palms down to my sides.
The room still smelled of bananas, but it was clean and dry, a blessing. The water-slicked Charr stamped back in and looked at me expectantly.
"Oh, all right." Palm extended to him as if I were blowing him a kiss, I let out another warm, slow breath. Before me stood a dry Charr, fur ruffled as if he'd been running in the wind. His demeanor improved, and he stepped forward and embraced me firmly with an emphatic "Thank you!" added for good measure.
This morning when I left for work, he was muttering in his sleep about watermelons. I think it's time for a new roommate.