To Be, or not to be

The afternoon wind rushed throughout the entire cornfield of Gatlin, I loved the smell of it. It was refreshing after our fight with the outlanders. God's will was to spill their blood in the cornfield. We though it would be easy, but we under estimated the outlander. The women was no problem at all, but her husband, managed to take on all of us and survived. He eluded us in the cornfield, eluded us until nightfall. And everyone knows that the night, was his time.

My husband, Malachai, was particularly upset at this. He has never let an outlander get away from him. The minute he got home that night he started beating the wall in with his fist. I didn't like it when he did that. It makes my heart sink in despair. Throughout the entire evening meal, he just sat there in silence. I even convinced the other girls to help make his favorite dishes, in the hopes that it would cheer him up at least a little, but it didn't.

We awoke the next afternoon. It was a taxing fight for all of us. In pure silence, Malachai got dressed, bloodstains still marked his perfect body from the fight. The minute he was done, he helped me into my dress, There was some mornings I was just very weak, our child needed a lot from me. I looked down at my swelling womb, smiling as I rubbed my hand on it.

I finally got a smile from him. He came up behind me and placed his hand over mine. "Our child is special. I can just feel it." He whispered

We started walking to the clearing in the cornfield, dead dried corn stalks crunched beneath our feet. It was like music to my ears, so soothing. Some of the kids were already here, chattering amongst themselves, happliy. I was wondering what was so enthralling, till I saw it, I wrapped my arm around Malachai's, my heart soared when we entered the clearing, as did Malachai's. The surviving outlander, was crucified on god's cross. He was defeated. I squealed with jog, holding Malachai tighter. Until I also saw the cost.

I pulled my eyes away, letting out a cry of sorrow, horrified with what I saw. Not only did I see Peter and Adam's bodies, but also Nahum's, his lifeless corpse was lying on top of the others, with a gaping neck wound. That murdering outlander killed him. A eight year old child.

Malachai's hand brushed up against my back "it okay," His voice quivered so slightly. He was affected by Nahum's death as well. "He's walking with god now, sweetie."

After everyone arrived, Isaac walked beside the bodies, holding his staff.

Last night, He Who Walks Behind The Rows spoke to me in a dream," His voice was tainted with fear "and I did fall down upon my knees in fright and hide my eyes, lest the terror of his face strike me dead." God was angry with him, not just him, with us."He is much displeased with this sacrifice. And the Lord did say, "Have I not given you this place of killing so that you might make sacrifice here? Have I not shewn you favor? But I did give you a test. Two outlanders did come-a man and a this man has made a blasphemy within me and did cause confusion among you. This man was strong in his evil. And so then I've completed this sacrifice myself like the blue man who tried to escape many years ago."

"The blue man. Yea, the blue man." We recited, but Isaac raised his hand to cut us off.

"And so now the age of favor is lowered from 19 planting harvests to 18. Each and every one of you will walk into the corn at dusk upon your 18th birthday and He Who Walks Behind The Rows will find you, and you will walk with him. So the Lord told me."

I felt my heart shatter, the age of favor was lowered to 18, that means. My eyes trailed up to Malachai's face, not a shred fear in them. He looked back down at me "I obey the word of God." He looked at all the other teenagers who this rule applied to "Praise God!"

"Praise God!" They shouted back.

Isaac just stood there "May the favor of He Who Walks Behind The Rows be shewn- and be upon you. Amen."

We all walked over to the bodies, placing our god's emblem on a pile, praying that he'll let them walk with him. But none of that mattered to me anymore. I can't let Malachai do this. I can't continue on without him.

"Scarecrow!" Isaac announced, lighting the bodies, in front of the outlander, His body will now be used to clear the cornfield from the buzzards who would ruin it, forever.

The rest of the afternoon carried on normally, that is if you count the gnawing fear of losing my soul-mate normal. With every passing hour I grew angrier at Malachai not worried over leaving me. Until nightfall, when I had reached the pinnacle of anger.

We slowly marched to the clearing, all the pre-teens were carrying torches to light the way.

Malachai looked at my face, wanting an answer for unwillingness to look at him "Never mind." I muttered, looking away from him.

Malachai pulled my face back to him "If it is God's will, the children will continue on as always."

I shook my head, his hand still gripped to my chin "If it's God's will, yes. Then why do you fear?" He hid it well, but I knew he was afraid of leaving me.

Malachai scoffed, releasing my face "I fear nothing."

I scoffed back at him "Please, Malachai."

Malachai straightened his posture "I obey the will of God. My birthday will come in October after the harvest. I barely lose one month. Amos is losing almost his entire 18th year."

I gasped for air "If this is the will of God, I wish there were no God!"

Malachai grip my chin, harder. Forcing me to stare at his gaze "Do not blaspheme! Have a fine son, and raise him to love religion and to hate the world. Promise me."

Tears started welling in my face, at my husbands indifference to sacrifice himself "I- I can't."

Amos came up to us "It's night now. His time."

Malachai was well aware "I know, Amos."

"Goodbye, Malachai" I said, watching my lover walk to his death. I couldn't take it anymore, without a thought to the consequences of my action, I ran to the closest pre-teen, and yanked the torch from his hand, throwing it into the cornfield.

I stood there with satisfaction, as the entire field was caught ablaze. I watched as everyone ran around in a mad scramble trying to put out the fire, most of them, including Isaac got to close and lit up themselves.

Before I could even process what happen, I landed on the ground, the right side of my face stinging. Malachai yanked me up off my feet. "What the hell did you do!" Hee roared, shaking me violently to get the answers out of me.

"I did it for you!" I screamed, my face became hot as streams of tears flowed out of me.

"I didn't want this!"

"You may be willing to give your life up so easily, But I will keep fighting for it." I managed to get myself out of his grip. "Did you ever stop to think what you would being doing to me? What about our child, who would grow up to never know his father?"

Malachai stood there awe struck, contemplating what I had said. "You can choose to be a coward, and kill yourself, or not to be a coward, and help raise our son."

Malachai's eyes closed as he placed his hand on my womb. "You're right, I'm sorry. What kind of man would I be to not see my child."

Malachai took my hand , and led me out of the firestorm that used to be the cornfield. When we hit the town square, we looked back at the storm, the street light the only thing that offered light near us.

I looked into his eyes as he looked back "We will have a fine son, Ashley."

My soul jumped as he said my name "and raise him to love religion, and hate the world." I replied, leaving Gatlin with my soul, my lover, my life.