Disclaimer: All books and characters in the Twilight saga are property of Stephenie Meyer.
The Unexpected Decision
I already made up my mind. I made the choice which was least expected of me. No one would see what was coming if I chose a life of solitude over Edward or Jacob. I know that there will never be another one for me besides Edward. My love for Edward and his family was what prevented me from choosing eternity with him. If he bit me, he would have broken the treaty and start a war.
I knew if I picked Jacob we could have had a family together, but regardless of what he is we are not soul mates. Sam and Emily; Jared and Kim; and even Quil and Claire are soul mates. If I was truly Jacob's soul mate he would have imprinted on me, but he didn't. I am not saying he doesn't love me and I don't love him - me choosing him would have just lead to heartbreak down the road.
I already told Jacob the news. Now I sat in my truck, and braced myself to tell the news to Edward. I wonder if Alice already told him, I hoped not. I needed to do this myself.
I got out of the truck. I walked up the stairs to the elegant white mansion trying not to trip. A miracle in itself, I made it all the way there and didn't trip once. Before I was even able to knock on the door; my own personal angel stood there as he waited for me with my favorite, crooked grin plastered on his face.
He pulled me into his arms as he swiftly kicked the door shut. He was about to kiss me, but I turned my head away before he could. I knew if he was to kiss me then I wouldn't be able to do this. He reluctantly released me.
His face revealed hurt and confusion; I hated to see him in pain. Now I was going to put him in even more pain. How could I possibly do this to him? I know though in the long run, if I was to stay with him then I would have put his family in danger. I loved this man too much to put my own selfish needs in front of their safety. All I can hope is that he won't go to the Volturi after this. I couldn't bear to think what it would have done to Esme if she lost her first 'son.'
"Bella…. What is bothering you?" he asked as he gulped, like he was afraid of my answer.
I mistakenly looked into his topaz eyes. I couldn't let him dazzle me. I close my eyes and shook my head in order to gather my thoughts. "Can we go for a walk somewhere?"
When Edward left me for those terrible nine months, we went for a walk. The memory brought back all the pain I felt and I knew I would soon be feeling when I finally ended things.
Edward nodded his head as he opened the door. When we were outside I thought I was going to lose it right there. I tried very hard not to make any eye contact with Edward because I was afraid if I did he would see right through me. I started to walk ahead but before I could even take three steps he was in front of me demanding to know what was going on.
I swallowed, "Edward, I have made my decision."
"You are choosing Jacob aren't you?" he asked, grimaced in pain.
I took a deep breath and shook my head. He looked at me confused. "I don't understand. Bella, if you didn't choose Jacob then why am I getting the feeling that you are breaking up with me."
I was a coward instead of looking into his eyes I just started at my shoes. "Because I am," I confessed in a whisper so slow that human ears couldn't hear it. I didn't need to look at his face to tell that he was upset. Edward isn't one to wear his emotions on his sleeves, but I knew this would break him. All I could was hope that with the love of his family he would be able to heal. He didn't need to know that I would have stayed single for the rest of my life. He didn't need to know that I wouldn't have a family and that my life wouldn't be happy without him.
When I finally gained the courage to look at his face he was on the ground with his face in his hands. He was into much of a shock to dry sob. "Why?" he finally spoke.
If I told him the truth he would just talk me out of it and I am horrible liar. I wonder if this was what is was like when Edward broke up with me in order to protect me. I had to think fast. Stupid Bella, I chastised myself, you should have came up with a plan before you came here.
"Edward, I am scared." We were still standing in the drive away; luckily no one else was around. The rest of the Cullens were out hunting or were out on a date.
He looked at me wide-eyed. "Of me right?"
I violently shook my head. "No not of you. I am scared of becoming a vampire. I am scared of not being able to cry when I am faced with grief. I am scared of never being able to sleep again. I am scared of murdering people, just so I can relieve a burning throat. I am scared of…" before I could finish he cut me off.
"Bella we will help you along the way. I promise you I will do whatever it takes to prevent you from murdering anyone." He sounded like he was begging now.
Once again I shook my head. "Edward, that is only part of the problem."
"Bella I already told you that you don't need to become a vampire for me. I'll always love you no matter what."
"Edward, don't you think I know that? Look how we are going to explain to everyone else why you don't age?"
"Bella we'll find away I promise you." He pleaded.
I clenched my fists in frustration. Why was he making this more difficult than necessary? "Edward! Take a hint!" I shouted at him. He stepped back in shock. "I don't want you anymore." I was truly a monster… I just told him exactly what he told me during that horrible day. If he wasn't broken before I knew he was broken now.
Once again he was on the ground but this time he was clenching his heart like he was having a heart attack. I wanted so much to run over him to comfort him, but it would have been unfair to toy with his emotions. Instead I ran to my truck as I heard the agony of his dry sobs behind me.
AN: For the record in the original Twilight Universe I don't think Bella would actually leave Edward not even to protect his family. This is an AU though and in this universe she would.