HUMOR HEALS THE SOUL
Summary: Naruto, after many fruitless attempts to relocate Sasuke, finally finds him. But what he doesn't expect is the comical situation they are forced in together and how they rekindle their friendship from humor...and a bit of lust. SasuNaru
Disclaimer: SASUNARU NOT MINE!!!
Warning: Yaoi (Boy on Boy), Sexual Content, unbeta-d, EXTREME OOC!!, RATED PG-13
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Naruto looked around the fairly large clearing in the forest of trees, his eyes trained for any sign of movement. He was waiting in the shadows, situated in a tall tree, obstructed from view thanks to the many branches. For around six hours now, he's been standing there, waiting. Just waiting.
His efforts weren't put to waste. There, moving stealthily across the clearing, was a Sound Nin. Naruto smirked, put on his ANBU fox mask, and followed the ninja.
A few days ago, Naruto had got a clue that Orochimaru had sent out a spy to investigate the Land of the Water. He was also told that on this day, the spy would return to Orochimaru's headquarters and report his findings. And so, Naruto waited near the route he was sure the spy would take in order to find Orochimaru's base.
And with it, Sasuke.
Naruto's face hardened under the mask as he thought of Sasuke. The bastard...the traitor...he was so stupid, leaving everything behind to be an avenger. Throughout the years, he's thought this over long and hard and he's come to a conclusion.
He was going to capture Sasuke and force him back to Konoha. And then he's going to put him through hell for causing everyone so much pain. Especially Sakura.
Especially himself.
Shaking his head slightly, Naruto made himself stop thinking about Sasuke. Right now, he had to concentrate on trailing after the Sound Nin.
Soon, the ninja slowed down and finally stopped. Naruto stopped too, a few yards behind him. The ninja, after looking around just to make sure once again he's not being followed (Naruto dodged from sight and made sure his chakra signature was hidden), pressed a knob of roots on one of the trees.
Suddenly, everything started shaking and before Naruto's wide eyes, the ground caved in to reveal the craftily disguised entrance. The Sound Nin ran in and Naruto followed, barely slipping through before everything started disguising itself again.
Naruto's heart hammered in his chest. He could feel it. He was close. He was so close!
Normally, he'd do things a bit more cautiously, but now, with adrenaline pumping through his veins, he dashed through the winding corridors of Orochimaru's hideout. He had no team with him this time. He knew he had to be extra careful, but he still anxiously raced down the hallways, his eyes peeled for any signs of movement.
He felt so close! He was sure of it! This was the real thing!
In his haste and habit of being a klutz, he failed to notice a stray root jutting out from the ground, and he unceremoniously tripped on it.
Yes, a ninja got tripped by a root. A top raking ANBU member too.
Naruto rubbed his head and groaned, getting up. Damn it, he had to be more careful. Good thing no one was around. Sighing, Naruto sighed and started walking instead.
But in his self-embarrassment, he failed to notice that he just turned a corner. And he bumped into something quite solid, but soft.
Naruto stiffened. Oh SHIT! He thought wildly, afraid to see who he had bumped into. Hopefully not Orochimaru himself...or Kabuto, that'll suck just as bad!
Slowly Naruto looked up; but instead of snake eyes or silver hair, he got black eyes and black hair.
SHIT!!
He had just bumped into Sasuke, of all people.
Absentmindedly, Naruto noticed that these three years were really good to him. He was about two inches taller then Naruto. His pale shoulders were broad and his chest was muscled, yet still slender. And his face...was still perfect and smooth.
Naruto gulped, hoping Sasuke didn't notice it was him yet. Thank goodness his unique chakra was still hidden.
Sasuke, on the other hand, reeled back, a bit surprised at the intrusion. Honestly, he hadn't been paying attention when he was walking, but he really didn't expect a Konoha ANBU member to appear out of nowhere! He took a good look at the mask. A fox.
His body stiffened.. Naruto...He stopped himself before he could think any further. No way, Naruto wasn't smart enough or bloodthirsty enough to be an ANBU member...and even if he was part of the ANBU, he wouldn't be smart enough to find this base!
"I congratulate you on getting this far, but I'm afraid it's as far as you'll go," Sasuke sneered, drawing his sword from behind him.
Naruto shivered at the deathly aura surrounding Sasuke. He really got scary these few years...but that's to expected. Thinking quickly, Naruto deducted that as a faceless ANBU member, he had less chances of winning then if Sasuke actually knew who he was. With any luck, he still had a heart and would hesitate before doing anything...
And so, Naruto pulled his mask up to the top of his head and looked right into Sasuke's now wide eyes. He didn't want to unhide his chakra...he didn't want anyone else noticing he was here...
"Sasuke..."
Sasuke couldn't believe it. Naruto was here. After three years of denying any tie to his 'best friend', Naruto was standing right in front of him, looking at him so intensely with those big blue eyes of his.
Sasuke gulped which went unnoticed by Naruto. He let his eyes travel across Naruto. He was quite beautiful now...with that lithe body of his, his skinny waist, his bright yellow hair that fell around his head in wild tresses...and...those eyes...those blue eyes that were the color of the vast sky and ocean; they were now framed by long, blond eyelashes that made his face seem a bit feminine.
Naruto had turned into a beauty.
"I-I finally found you, Sasuke..." Naruto whispered when Sasuke just stood there, seemingly flabbergasted.
Sasuke was knocked out of his reverie by his voice. It was so...
Angelic.
Scowling, Sasuke made himself stop thinking of such things. No, he would not allow himself to be impacted by Naruto! He had long ago made a vow to do all that he can to stay away from the blond. Because if he didn't...he was pretty sure his heart would burst.
"Sasuke...come back...come back with me..." Naruto took a few hesitant steps forward, his eyes locked onto Sasuke's.
Sasuke couldn't take it anymore. He whipped his sword to the front and stood in an attacking stance, his sword point dangerously at Naruto's throat. Naruto's eyes started watering up. He was hoping he wouldn't have to fight...but deep down, he knew it'd come to this.
And so, Naruto stepped back and took a few kunai's from his back pouch. He refused to pull his mask down though...he'd fight Sasuke as himself, not as some ANBU member. He'd fight with his own face, as Naruto.
As Sasuke's friend.
He felt a tear slip down his cheek and he hurriedly wiped it off. This wasn't a time to be all sad. He had a mission to complete. His own mission. He had to bring Sasuke back...
"I'll just have to force you then, won't I?" Naruto muttered sarcastically, his glare directed at Sasuke's cold eyes.
"Try as you will, but you won't succeed."
Naruto gathered his strength.
Sasuke gripped onto his sword handle.
With one last breathe, both boys charged for each other. Naruto dodged the sword as it came and Sasuke leapt to the side, avoiding a kunai that flew past his ear. He took his sword and using his chakra, extended it towards Naruto. But he was too fast, and before Sasuke knew it he was behind him, ready to knock him out.
Gritting his teeth, Sasuke ducked as Naruto tried to hit him. With a dash, he ran down the hall and disappeared around a corner. Growling, Naruto followed and zipped around the corner, only to bump into Sasuke again. But this time, it was his back Naruto ran into. Rubbing his butt, which he fell on, Naruto stood up and looked at Sasuke who had stood there, rooted to the spot throughout the whole embarrassing ordeal. Seriously, who the heck bumped into the person you're supposed to fight?!
Naruto looked over Sasuke's profile to see what the heck could distract him so much that he'd totally stop fighting. And what he saw almost made him want to barf.
Inside one of the rooms the hall lead to, Orochimaru was dressed as a farmer, with only overalls on, while Kabuto was dressed as a pig, complete with pig ears, nose, and tail. They were chasing each other around with whips and nets, apparently very absorbed in their little...kinky game...
"...Sasuke? What the fuck is wrong with you?! You left Konoha for...this?!"
But Sasuke ignored the blond, still staring wide-eyed at the two disgusting men...Oh God, Orochimaru just grabbed Kabuto's butt.
So this was why this hallway is forbidden to him...
Suddenly, Kabuto started crawling backwards towards the open hallway, his arse with the little piggy tail sticking up in the air.
Naruto felt himself want to barf again.
Sasuke panicked. If Orochimaru sees him in this hallway, he'd definitely punish him! Without really thinking, Sasuke grabbed onto Naruto and shoved them both into the nearest room.
Which happened to be a bed room.
Both boys just stared at each other as the sounds of Kabuto oinking and Orochimaru chuckling evily got louder. Before long, they were right outside the door, and to the boy's horrible luck, that's where they stopped to start making out.
How could they tell?
Well, Kabuto was moaning freakishly loud.
And then, to their horror, Orochimaru started talking.
"Well piggy piggy, you were very naughty...I'll have to punish you...kukukuku!"
Sasuke's eyes widened even more. What kind of 'boss' did he have?! He found himself regretting ever coming here...but just for a second.
Naruto stuck his tongue out at the perverts' antics.
Kabuto suddenly gave a very loud squeal.
"Come on, little piggy, give Farmer Orochimaru a treat..."
Naruto couldn't take it anymore. Stuffing both hands in his mouth, he tried stifling his laughter. This was WAY too funny! That was the LAMEST line ever...
He looked over to Sasuke to see that he was staring at him. He had on such a ridiculous expression that Naruto doubled over, his laughter coming even faster.
Sasuke watched as Naruto forced his hands into his mouth...His eyes were slits due to his glee and his whole body just glowed with sunshine and daisies.
And wow, could his mouth be stretched. It might actually be big enough to fit his d—
Sasuke shook his head frantically. NO! He had to stop thinking such things! Remember the vow! Remember his heart!
Kabuto gave another squeal.
"PPFFTT!" Naruto couldn't hold it anymore. He ran to the bed in the middle of the room and jumped on it, muffling his mouth against the pillow. Thankfully it drowned out everything.
Sasuke watched the blond's shoulders bounce up and down with each laugh. Naruto's neck never looked so delectable...
STOP IT!!
"Y-yes, that's it, little piggy..."
The image of Kabuto as a real pig suddenly popped up in Sasuke's head and before he knew it, he was also trying to stop himself from laughing.
Naruto heard the sharp intake of breath from Sasuke and he looked over to see Sasuke covering his mouth with a hand. Oh wow, it had been forever since he's seen Sasuke laugh!
With a bounce in his step, Naruto hurried over to Sasuke and pulled his hand off of his mouth. Even if they got caught, Naruto didn't care! He wanted to here Sasuke's laugh again.
But Sasuke stopped laughing as soon as his hand was pulled away. He was mere centimeters away from Naruto now...
He turned his head away and felt a blush coming to him. That so uncharacteristic of him!
Naruto saw the blush and he almost started laughing again. Sasuke...BLUSH?! Well, that's never happened before!
"Aaaahh! Orochimaru-sama!" Kabuto yelled out loud. Apparently, things were getting good over there, if you catch the drift.
At that, Sasuke and Naruto both ran to the bed and each stuffed a pillow in their faced before they really did give away their position. This was too hilarious!
Sasuke felt his heart beating in his chest as he watched Naruto laugh again. His blond hair was swaying around as he stifled his mouth. Sasuke just wanted to run his hands through it...
NO!!!
"No talking, more oinking..." Orochimaru panted out.
That was the last straw. Both teens buried their heads in the pillow to stop sounds from coming from their intense laughing. Sasuke felt like some adolescent that just discovered porn and was sharing it with their best friend.
...best friend...
Sasuke looked over to Naruto, who had calmed down now and was lying on the bed spread-eagle style. He was breathing heavily and his chest was going up, down, up, down...
Without thinking, Sasuke walked over to his side and leaned down, looking right into wide blue eyes.
...Naruto was his best friend. He realized it now. Nothing anyone can ever do will change that fact.
But what was this yearning he felt? He wanted to touch him...
He wanted to touch his hair.
He wanted to touch his smooth cheeks.
He wanted to run his hands over that lean stomach...
He wanted to...he wanted to...
"AAAAHHHHHHHHHhhhh!" The two outside had apparently reach their climax.
Sasuke could see it coming. The laugh. Naruto was going to laugh and he wasn't going to be able to stop it in time.
Really not thinking this time, Sasuke crashed his lips onto Naruto's, effectively shutting him up before anything escaped from those plump lips.
Naruto's eyes widened.
He was being kissed...by Sasuke?! Who what when where how why?!!?!
"Let's go, my little piggy, we must clean up. To the showers!"
Without meaning to, Naruto started chuckling into Sasuke's mouth. When Sasuke was sure Orochimaru and Kabuto were far away, he allowed himself to lean back and started chuckling too.
That was the most ridiculous thing they have both been forced to sit through. And they've sat through Gai's speeches before.
"S-Sasuke! Oh jeez that was f-funny!" Naruto gasped before flipping over and laughing thoroughly, pounding his fists into the bed in his mirth.
Sasuke, seeing Naruto's antics, laughed. Out loud. Without chuckling or anything. He actually laughed. Naruto was so startled he sat up and stared straight at Sasuke. In the blink of an eye, he stood up and walked over to Sasuke swiftly, their faces centimeters apart again.
Naruto searched Sasuke's eyes, seeing that familiar spark in the dark pools again. With a sigh, he smiled.
"Sasuke...you should laugh more often...it's a beautiful laugh..." Naruto blushed. He hadn't meant for it to come out so cheesy.
Sasuke stared at the blond in front of him. He just got told his laugh was beautiful...Somewhere in his subconscious, he threw precaution to the wind and let loose all his feelings over the years.
He knew it now. He understood everything. From that first kiss to that last one at the Valley of the End.
He loved Naruto.
Realizing this, Sasuke's eyes misted over and before he could stop himself, he had pinned Naruto to the bed and started kissing him fervently.
Naruto was once again startled speechless. You'd think he'd be less surprised by now, but he's not. Here he was, pinned underneath Sasuke and being mouth-raped. And he had no idea how things lead to this.
Naruto let out a startled gasp when he felt cold fingers slip up his tight shirt to run over his stomach. Sasuke took this chance to stick his tongue in the blond's mouth, roving over all that was inside. Surprisingly, he didn't taste of ramen. It was more of a...lollipop or milk candy kind of taste.
Whatever it was, it turned Sasuke on. A lot. He ran his hands up even further and brushed over one of Naruto's nipples, drawing forth a loud sensual moan from the blond. Sasuke felt himself getting excited. Was he going to keep going?
Naruto gave another moan as Sasuke sucked on his neck.
Shit, they were going too far. He shouldn't do this. Not like this, at least...
With a heavy heart, Sasuke backed off and stood up, leaving Naruto dazed and his eyes misted over with lust.
Sasuke felt his heart twinge at the sight. He wanted Naruto...he wanted him bad...
But he had a job to do before he could be selfish and be with Naruto...He had no choice...
"Dobe..." He whispered into Naruto's ears, making him shiver pleasantly. "I'm sorry..." And he pressed a sensor point in Naruto neck, making him faint. The last thing Naruto saw was a single tear running down Sasuke's face before everything turned black.
-SASUNARU! XD-
When Naruto awoke, he was alone, lying on the floor of the forest. Blinking, he slowly sat up and rubbed his head, feeling like he just woke up from a super hangover.
But he knew what happened.
With a small smile on his face, Naruto looked up the night sky. The darkness reminded him of Sasuke...
Sasuke...
His confidence was back in him. With a stretch, Naruto stood up and started the journey back to Konoha.
He would bring Sasuke back. He was sure of it. Someday.
Just you wait, Sasuke.
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EL FIN! XD REVIEW!!! contructive critisism is also welcomed!