Author's Note: Why, you ask? Why did I produce such a one-shot of utter amounts of silliness? I don't know. I have absolutely no idea. Bon appetit.

Calefaction

Everyone knows that any good 'in heat' story starts out with Inuyasha. There he sat, crouching, his nose twitching to the scents surrounding him. The air was so thick; it felt like he was wading through it. It didn't help that it was summer. The hot, sticky, feeling of the season made him just want to give up, to give in.

Enter Sango, the demon exterminator who was now engaged to Miroku, the perverted yet strong monk. Inuyasha's foot began to tap relentlessly on the ground. She smelled. No, it wasn't unpleasant by any means. She smelled good. He wouldn't admit that, though, not even if he was paid in jewel shards.

"Where's Kagome?" Sango questioned thoughtfully.

Inuyasha's eye started to twitch. He caught his foot thumping and ended it quickly; she was bound to notice. "Home."

"Oh," she said simply. She stretched her arms over her head, sticking out her chest. And they called Miroku a pervert. "When will she be back?"

Inuyasha's mind growled. 'Get away…get away…get away, damnit!'

"Later."

Sango nodded. She knew when she was being half-ignored. It was quite rude, and she hated that Inuyasha, her good friend, was treating her this way. Walking closer, she pointed to a clear spot on the ground next to him. "Mind if I sit?"

'Yes!' … "No." Idiot.

"Kagome and I haven't had the chance to talk. How are things with you guys?"

Inuyasha covered his nose with his haori. It was the least he could do. "Good."

Good was an understatement. But Inuyasha's mind could barely process anything other than one-word responses. His brain was on overload. Heat. Hot. Woman. Smells. Good.

"Is something wrong?" Sango scooted closer. "Do I smell or something?"

'If only you knew…'

Sango began sniffing her self, flushing at the idea that she might have offended someone with her scent. Inuyasha uncovered his nose for a moment, letting some of the sweet smell seep into his system. No one would have to know that he was indulging in this one guilty pleasure.

Miroku, who was carrying Kirara, walked into the scene just then. Inuyasha's face turned crimson before he jumped away.

"Should I be worried?" Miroku joked, getting a response opposite of what he wanted. Sango glared. She was not a cheater, no matter how odd the situation looked, not that she was aware of it either. Miroku noted Inuyasha's blushing face and scowled, "Okay, then…"

Inuyasha's eyes widened. No, it couldn't be.

"Where's Kagome?" Miroku asked, not informed that this conversation had only taken place moments before.

"Home," Sango replied.

Inuyasha eyed the culprit evilly. Kirara. Her too. Could a guy get a break today?

"Lover's tiff?" Miroku questioned, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Inuyasha didn't answer. He was trying too hard not to breathe. So many things were against him today. His girlfriend was somewhere in the future, his best friends were in heat, and his senses had been driving him wild ever since the morning started. He was doomed, his mind declared, doomed.

Every good 'in heat' story would continue into a graphic explanation of Inuyasha and Sango, as she is human and although Kirara is cute that pairing just wouldn't do, making crazy love all over Sengoku Jidai. Sadly, this is not the greatest 'in heat' story you will encounter.

Inuyasha stood. He wasn't going to allow this abuse to continue. He needed to get away; he needed to relieve himself. Where was Kagome when he needed her most? Running in the direction of the well, Inuyasha immediately felt a weight lift from his shoulder. The scents were mostly gone, mostly.

Sitting against the well, Inuyasha breathed hard. He had been doing a lot of that lately. So much so, that even now, he started to pant. Disgusted, he clamped his hands over his mouth and gave himself a dirty look. Now was not the time.

He could hardly wait for the moment when Kagome came back. If only she knew how much torture he had endured throughout the day. Kagome would do anything to make it better, starting with a long, hard kiss. Inuyasha smirked at the idea and daydreamed of the second of her return. He could almost smell her. Her scent was bound to be the sweetest, most intoxicating thing to ever grace the earth.

There it was. The blue light that surrounded them every time they dared to cross and blur the lines of time. He readied his nose, closing his eyes, allowing everything to just focus on the essence that was Kagome.

…Kagome?

Today was not his day. Of all the girls to not be in heat it had to be his. Grumpily, he punched the side of the well.

"Not happy to see me? I brought you some ramen," she stated, taking the hand he offered to help her from the well.

Ramen wouldn't make it better. He was still male. He was still half-demon. No amount of heavenly ramen would change that.

She grabbed his hand, staring at his pouting face. "What's wrong with you today?"

Inuyasha turned away, "Keh, nothing."

After walking under the scorching sun for some time Kagome began to feel the effects of the heat take over. Stopping, she bent over to get some water from her backpack. Inuyasha watched curiously. As she drank the water, Inuyasha concentrated on a bead of sweat as it trailed from her cheek, to her neck, before it disappeared temptingly into her sailor fuku. After having her fill she wiped her mouth and panted, the heat was almost unbearable.

Kagome looked at Inuyasha. His eyes were wide, his cheeks were flushed, he wasn't even looking at her face. He was looking at her…

"Inuyasha!" she screeched, hand raised to hit him. He caught it, pulling her close. Moments later, his lips were on hers and they stayed that way for hm, let's see, the next hour or so.

Every good 'in heat' story would end at this point, proving that 'in heat' or 'out of heat', Inuyasha still has the hots for Kagome. Clearly, this is a good 'in heat' story.