AN: Just a little something that wouldn't leave me alone.
Walk of Shame
Brennan woke up to a pounding headache, light streaming in from the windows, hitting her in the face.
"Uhhhh!', she moaned and grabbed the pillow next to her and covered her face with it. Wait, why was her pillowcase cotton? Her pillowcase was silk. Not only that, but the pillowcase smelled different. It wasn't an unpleasant smell, but nonetheless it wasn't her smell. In fact, it smelled like,
"Morning Bones!"
Brennan whipped the pillow off her face and was promptly blinded by the morning light. "Booth? What are you doing here and why do you sound so happy? And when you answer could you be quiet!" she hissed, a sledgehammer attacking her parietal bones.
"Here Bones, drink this. You're hung-over."
Brennan groped blindly for the glass, Booth gently grasped her wrist and put the glass in her hand.
"And to answer your questions, I'm happy because it's not every morning that I have a beautiful, New York Times best-selling author in my bed."
This statement along with the vile taste of the liquid caused Booth's bed sheets to become thoroughly soaked and Brennan's eyes to snap open.
"Jeez, Bones! Say it, don't spray it!"
"First of all, that concoction is disgusting. Second, what am I doing in your bed? We didn't...we didn't..." Unfortunately, Booth's prudishness seemed to be contagious as she couldn't finish her sentence, not when he looked the way he did. His hair was mussed and he had some overnight facial hair growth, not to mention the fact that he was only wearing low-slung sleep pants. So she was reduced to banging her hands together like he did when he was referring to sexual intercourse.
Booth burst out laughing. "Who's the prude now, huh, Bones? Now finish that drink and we can talk without your head exploding."
"I'm assuming this is some kind of remedy for overindulgence in alcoholic beverages. However, as it tastes like crap and probably doesn't work, I refuse to drink it."
"Whoa, Bones! Reduced to using simple curse words are we? Well, if you want to recover your expansive vocabulary, you're going to have to drink it." he said teasingly. "Trust me, it's been scientifically proven to work by generations of Booth men." he said as he removed the soiled sheets from the bed with her still in it, and as he did, Brennan got her first look at her sleepwear. She was fairly certain that she didn't own a Dead Kennedys T-shirt or a pair of men's boxers. And even though she thought it was impossible, her headache increased in intensity.
"Am I wearing your clothes?"
"Drink your medicine, Bones." With no other option, she quickly drank the abominable brew.
"There, I finished. Now will you answer my questions?"
"Sure." he said, his charm smile fully in place. He had put the sheets in his hamper and he lay down horizontally at the foot of the bed. He grasped her feet and laid them on his stomach and began rubbing her ankles. "Last night, Bones. Well, last night was the best night of my life, Bones." She pulled her feet out of his grasp and scooted up until her back was against the headboard.
Booth sat up and looked at her in surprise. "Don't you remember anything, Bones?"
"No, what happened?" she asked, fearful that she had ruined everything in a blaze of alcohol and hormones.
"Well, we were at the Founding Fathers, celebrating that cold case we'd just closed and I guess you were drinking a little more than usual. Anyway, some woman was all over me, when you came over and chased her away. Very efficiently, might I add. Then you were in my arms and I knew that I had to take you home right away, and since my place was closer, we came here. Then we made wild passionate love and you swore that you would never want another man but me. I didn't believe that you were sincere, I'm sorry for doubting you but you were really drunk, Bones. But then you said you'd give me proof that you meant it, so you dragged me out of bed and took me to a Tattoo parlor."
"Oh God!"
"Yep, you got Booth and Bones Forever tattooed on your butt. It's got a heart, a gun, and a skull, it's very cute."
Brennan noticed a pain in her left butt cheek and rubbed it gently.
"Oh, Bones, does it hurt? Do you want me to check it and kiss it better?"Brennan shook her head slowly, "I think I need to use the bathroom."
"Go ahead, Bones. It's right through there."
Brennan padded into his bathroom and shut the door behind her. She stood with her back to the mirror, dropped the boxers to the floor, and very slowly turned her head to look at her butt.
"Booth!"
She heard his laughter through the door, as she pulled up the boxers quickly. She threw open the door and started hitting him in the chest.
"You dirty liar!"
He was batting her hands away and laughing. "I think we're even now, Bones."
"What are you talking about?" she yelled as she continued her efforts to pummel him.
"I'm sorry Bones, I only meant to tease you a little bit. But then I saw that you didn't remember and I had to get some of my own back from last night!"
"What did I do to deserve this? I thought we were friends!"
"We are Bones and friends play pranks on each other."
Brennan had stopped hitting him and sat down on the bed, pouting. Booth sat down next to her.
"Aw, come on, Bones, it was just a joke. Do you want to know what really happened?"
"What happened?"
"Well, I didn't completely lie. We were at the Founding Fathers and you did drink a bit more than usual. I was talking with a woman, you came over and began to tell her about what kind of man I am. You were being nice at first, but then you started telling her that I was a prude."
"Is that it? I always call you a prude."
"Yeah, well, there's only so much a man can take. Besides, that's not all you told her. Apparently, someone at work told you about my cop nickname, and you told it to her, in front of the squints and the interns."
"But your nickname is Tiger, how can that be bad for people to know?"
"You also began to explain that the name means the opposite. So you said that if my nickname was Tiger, that must mean that I'm a pussycat in bed."
Brennan winced.
"How's your head, Bones? Is it any better?"
That made Brennan feel even worse, not only did she ruin Booth's chances with a beautiful woman, any woman with Booth had to be beautiful. But he still worried about her. He could have just driven her home and had Angela take care of her.
"It's fine, Booth. I'm sorry I embarrassed you in front of your date."
"She wasn't my date, just some woman who was trying to pick me up. Don't worry about her, I don't even remember her name. I was more upset that the squints would think I sucked in the sack. Anyway, you were so drunk you passed out in my arms, so I brought you here so I could take care of you. You came to just long enough to change your clothes, I didn't see you naked and you're butt hurt cause you fell on it when you were pulling on my boxers. And don't worry, we didn't sleep together. Well, we slept together, but we didn't sleep together sleep together, I just wanted to make sure you didn't choke in case you vomited."
"Attractive."
Booth smiled at her with a smile that made her stomach flutter, "Always, Bones."
Brennan smiled at him nervously, "Well, I guess we should go to work now."
"Sure, Bones. Has your hangover blown over?"
She was surprised to find that it had. "Yes, it has. But I could always use a coffee, to get the taste of your remedy out of my mouth."
Booth went to the kitchen for coffee while Brennan gathered up her clothes. She decided to take a quick shower, she would smell like Booth's soap, but oh well, she would just have to deal with it. When she walked out of the bathroom , Booth was waiting for her with her coffee.
"Thanks Booth, hurry up and get changed so I can get to work on time. You'll give me a ride right?"
"Yeah, but don't you want to go home first?"
"I'd rather not be later than I have to."
"But Bones! You can't wear yesterday's clothes!"
"I have extra clothes at the Jeffersonian, Booth. I'll change when I get there."
"Yeah, but Bones! You can't walk into work wearing last night's clothes. That's called the Walk of Shame!"
"What?"
"People will think that you had a one night stand!"
"What does furniture have to do with anything?"
Booth sighed, "Bones, people will think you satisfied your biological urges and didn't have enough time to go home and change."
"Oh, so what do you suggest I do? I don't have time to go home."
"I think I might have something for you." Booth crossed over to his closet and looked in the back of it.
"Booth, how is wearing your clothes any better?"
Booth pulled out a blue blouse and black pants.
"Booth, do you engage in cross-dressing?"
"What? No! This isn't mine! Cam left them behind."
Brennan's stomach twisted, "Oh, so you and Cam still satisfy biological urges together?"
"No! She used to keep clothes here, so she'd never have to do the walk of shame if she fell asleep here. She's really careless about her clothes though, the first time I was with her, she forgot some when we broke up. I had to do some fast talking with Becca to convince her I wasn't cheating on her."
"You two broke up three years ago this time though."
"Yeah, well, I keep forgetting to give them back to her. It's not like I have a girlfriend to remind me."
"Fine, I believe you."
Booth sighed in relief as he grabbed his clothes and headed to the bathroom.
BBBBBBBBBBBBBB
Brennan walked into the Jeffersonian and was met by Cam.
"Good morning, Cam."
"Good morning, Dr. Brennan. I have to talk to you about..." Cam looked up from her file and scanned Brennan up and down.
"Is that my..."
"You left them at Booth's."
"Oh. Oh! So then, you two are... I mean to say... Congratulations."
"What! No, no! Nothing happened, Booth simply took me to his house because I was extremely intoxicated and he was worried about me. I will return your clothes to you promptly."
"Oh, don't worry about it, Dr. Brennan. Just be in my office in ten minutes for a staff meeting."
"Of course."
Ten minutes later, Brennan was sitting in Cam's office waiting for the interns to arrive. Angela was eyeing her, as if something was different about her.
"Sweetie, where did you buy those? They're not your usual style."
"I don't remember, Ang."
"Hmmm." Angela was looking at Cam, when Clark walked in.
"Is Agent Booth joining us in the meeting?"
"No, why would you think that, Clark?" asked Cam.
"I thought I smelled him."
"Wait, you go around sniffing Booth? Isn't that a little personal?" teased Hodgins.
"I have a highly developed sense of smell. I don't go around smelling him."
Suddenly, Angela walked over to Brennan and sniffed her neck.
"Ang, what are you doing?" exclaimed Brennan and Hodgins.
"I knew it! You smell like Studly!" screamed Angela.
"No, I don't."
"Don't try to deny it, or I'll bring your bloodhound of an intern to sniff you."
"It's not what you think!"
"Well, I want to hear why you smell like him anyway, so spill!"
"Oh no! Why can't we just focus on work!"
"Can it, Clarkie. You're the one who brought it up." interjected Hodgins.
Brennan turned to Cam for help, "Cam!"
"I'm sorry Dr. Brennan but the sooner you answer the sooner we can return to work."
Both Brennan and Clark resigned themselves to the inevitable.
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBB
Booth picked up Brennan for dinner, "Hey, Bones. How was your day?"
"Booth, your plan failed. I had to endure the March of Embarrassment anyway."
"It's Walk of Shame, Bones and what do you mean? What happened?"
"Cam recognized her clothes and I was in a staff meeting when it was pointed out that I smelled like you."
"I'm sorry, Bones."
"It's all right, Booth. You told me to go home. But I was thinking."
"What, Bones?"
"Well, with this, you end up owing me."
"I guess so, you did suffer more than me. How do you want me to make it up to you? I'll take you anyplace you want for dinner."
"Then it's settled, we're going to my place."
"Your place? Didn't you hear me Bones? We can go anywhere you want and I won't even use coupons this time."
"I want to go to my place. I figure that since I suffered the punishment then I should at least perform the crime."
Booth stared at her, "Even if it's with a guy that they call the Tiger cause he's timid in bed?"
"Well, you always said you like to take it nice and slow. Besides, making love is different than sex, right?"
"Right." he smiled at her "And Bones?"
"Hmm?"
"You know how tigers are silent when they hunt?"
"Yes."
"Well, the guys like to watch Animal Planet and the storage closet is right next to the TV room."
"I don't understand what you're telling me Booth."
"Well, it turns out they were watching a documentary on tigers one day and they found out that tigers are silent when they pounce. And well, it turns out that I'm not silent."
It took her a while to figure out what he was insinuating. But when she did, she turned to him and said, "Well, what are you waiting for, Tiger? Tomorrow it will be your turn to walk the Walk of Shame."
The SUV was a blur as it pealed out of the Jeffersonian parking lot.
The End