Conquering Nightmares

My heart raced as I backed up into the corner of the dark cell. I could feel his breath on me and I turned my face away. I squeezed my eyes shut, praying he would leave me alone.

"You think you're safe from dying, don't you, Ms. Wells? I won't kill you, but that doesn't mean I won't hurt you." His voice was deep and sharp, cutting through me like a knife.

"Please." I begged.

His laugh shattered me, evil and cold, "I like when they beg for their lives." He raised his hand, it phasing quickly and I screamed.

I bolted up in my bed and took in my surroundings. I was at STAR labs, I was safe. My sheets were on the floor in a crumpled heap and my bed was drenched with sweat. The darkness of my room had me panicking and I jumped off of my bed.

With my heart still racing, I made my way towards the room that was connected to mine. I opened the door slowly and found him with his back towards me. I crept in and was now thankful he had taken the room with the bigger bed. I tiptoed around his bed and went to slide under the covers.

"Jesse?" His voice was alert and I wanted to kick myself for coming in here. "Why are you awake?" He sat up now and faced me full on.

"I- I, uh-" how do you tell your dad that his nineteen year old daughter is terrified and can't sleep?

Dad stood up and turned the light on, "What's wrong? Are you hurt?" I knew the pain of the nightmare was still on my face.

"No..." I said shaking my head, my head tilted down away from his piercing gaze, "Yes."

I hadn't gone to my dad with nightmares since after mom had died. He used to pull me into his bed; I knew I was safe in his arms. He would play with my hair until I fell asleep again and in the morning when I woke up he would be wide-awake watching out for me, chasing the bad dreams away. That's all I wanted right now in this moment.

Tears slipped down my face and I sniffled. "Hey, Jesse, what's wrong?" Dad's voice was laced with worry.

"They haven't stopped, Dad. Every night it's like I'm there again. I just want them to stop, I want them to go away." I let the tears, I had held in since I came to this Earth, fall.

"Nightmares? You've been having them since we got you out of Zoom's lair? Oh, Jesse, why didn't you say anything? You could have told me." He whispered and pulled me into a tight hug.

I choked out in between sobs, "I didn't know how to tell you. And if I did tell you that would only make you feel guiltier. You already had to kill someone because of me, I can't... I thought I could handle them on my own."

"I thought we had talked about this. Sweetheart, I can't lose you too. I can't. I know, I haven't always gone about the things in the best way, but I'm going to try. These nightmares, you don't have to go through them alone. You never do and you never will. You know that, Jesse." Dad whispered into my hair.

I nodded my head, "I'm sorry, Dad. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I got mad at you and walked out of our STAR labs. I'm sorry that Zoom took me and that I had to make you do so much because of it. I'm sorry."

He pulled away from me, "No, you don't have to apologize, you shouldn't apologize. I should have told you the truth, I'll regret that for the rest of my life. I love you, Jesse."

I smiled, "I love you too, Dad."

I turned to leave and Dad spoke, "Where are you going?"

"Back to my room?" It was supposed to be a statement, but it sounded more like a question.

"Come on, Jesse. You just had a nightmare. We are going to take care of them, together." He smiled and climbed into his bed waiting for me to follow.

I gave him a weak grin and crawled in next to him, "Do you think, I mean, would it be ok if you..."

"Yes. Always." Dad knew what I meant, he sat back against the wall and my head found his lap. He wrapped one arm around me and the other went to my hair. "Go to sleep, Jesse, I'm right here."

I rolled over so I could look up at my dad, he tilted his head down so his gaze caught mine, "Daddy, I know it couldn't have been easy. Raising me without mom. I certainly wasn't the best daughter in the world. I know, that you have messed up too, but you're still my hero and the best dad in the world. I guess, all of the worlds."

He looked taken aback by my sudden admission. "Thank you, Jesse." I nodded my head and gave him a genuine smile, "Now go to sleep, my little Jesse Quick."

The last thing I remember before falling into a peaceful sleep was my dad kissing my forehead and a lone tear landing next to his kiss.

When I woke up the next morning my head was still in my dad's lap. I rubbed my eyes of the sleep and turned to face dad. "Morning, sunshine."

"Morning." I yawned, "Thanks for letting me stay here with you last night."

"Always. So, about that dream?" Dad questioned. This was the other thing he'd always done the morning after a horrible nightmare. He had me explain everything I'd seen or done in the dream to him and then he'd help me work it out.

I sighed and ran a hand over my face. "Dad, I think this is one nightmare you can't work out for me."

He raised a challenging eyebrow, "No? Why don't you tell me about it?" His piercing blue gaze made me stare at the ceiling. I went to sit up, but Dad stopped me, "No, stay. We are going to do this."

"I'm not eleven anymore." I whispered.

"Boy, do I know that. When you were eleven I didn't have to worry about boys." He gave me a mock glare.

I laughed, "And you do now? Face it, Dad, you're stuck with me forever."

Dad shrugged, "I can live with that. Now, no more stalling."

A long sigh escaped me and I closed my eyes, "I was back in the cage, in Zoom's lair. He had backed me up into a dark corner and I could feel his breath on me. He said that I thought I was safe from dying, that he wouldn't kill me. And that- that- it didn't mean he wouldn't hurt me. I woke up before it got any worse." I left out the part where I begged, knowing it would hurt my dad too much.

"That's not it. You aren't finished, there's more." I hated that he knew me so well, "Jesse, tell me."

"I begged him to not hurt me and he said that he liked it when they begged for their lives." I looked into my dad's eyes; hurt, anger, and worry flickered through them. "You can't help me through this, Dad. You can't help me because it's real, it happened."

"I can't take away the fact that Zoom hurt you, I wish I could. He hurt you because of me and I can never forgive myself for that. But we can make these nightmares go away." He ran his hand through my hair.

"How?" I whispered.

"By talking to each other, telling me these things, letting me comfort you when you're scared. Letting me make you feel safe again. Can you do that?" Dad asked.

I nodded my head, "Dad, I know I'm safe with you. Last night was the first time since I came here that I've felt safe and that's because I had you. Watching over me, keeping the nightmares away. You've always kept me safe, even when Zoom had me."

"I've tried to keep you safe. That's my job. I have to protect you, I need to protect you." He gave me a small smile, "We should probably get up."

"Yeah." I agreed sadly. I had missed these times with my dad, just him and me talking. "Sorry, I kept you in here so late in the day. I know you like to get an early start."

Dad looked at me; his piercing blue eyes showering me with his love, "Jesse, never apologize for needing your dad. I can live without my early mornings, but I cannot live without my daughter."

I smiled up at him through my tears and for the first time, since I had been rescued from Zoom's lair, I knew I was going to get past this. With the help of my dad, I can do anything.