One day at Sarif Industries, Adam Jensen was fired because his robo-dick malfunctioned and ejaculated oil all over David Sarif's baseball collection.
"GodDAMMIT, now we need to find a replacement!" said Sarif.
"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLL SHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTT! IF IT AIN'T DA CAP'N HIMSELF!" said Letitia who was digging through the Sarif Industries trashcan in search of hotdogs.
Letitia grabbed what she thought was a hotdog, however hidden between the buns was a micro-bomb that activated and blew off Letitia's tongue and knocked her unconscious.
"Oh no, Letitia's been gravely injured! We'll have to replace all of her limbs and make her into a super-soldier! said Sarif in anguish.
Some Time Later
"Well shiet, Cap'n Sarif got me a job as head of security and some new robo-limbs!" said Letitia as she made her way to Pritchard's office for some tuning up.
Pritchard was in the middle of watching Bible Black when Letitia came in.
"Weeeeeeell shhhhiiiiieeeet, Pritchard you watchin' wanna dem Chinese cartoons?"
"Dammit Letitia it's called anime"
"MMMHMM I knows all 'bout them anniemays. Anyways Pritchard you's gotta tune me up for my mission"
"You have a mission?"
"MMMHMM I gotta stop da Mechanical Apartheid 'cause Aug Lives Matter an' all dat!"
"Well you're in fine condition. Malik should be waiting for you on the helipad."
"Helipad? I don't needs no helipad," said Letitia as she activated the secret button on her augmented tongue.
Suddenly the wall behind Pritchard collapsed revealing a secret room with a mech in it!
"Metal Wolf Cap'n Activate!" shouted Letitia who jumped into her mech that was fueled by the soul of her dead mother.
She flew through Sarif Industries' roof and made her way to the Mechanical Apartheid where Vice President Richard Hawk was enslaving all the augmented people.
"Don't ya'll worry," she yelled out to the oppressed people "Believe in yo own justice honehs!"
"MWAHAHAHAH! Trying to rescue your beloved augs from there white robo-slavery are you?" yelled Richard Hawk, from his own mech!
"RIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHAAAAAARRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDD!" Yelled Letitia
Richard proceeded to fire rockets at Letitia, but she activated her jump augment and lept over them, grabbing one on the way down.
"SUCK ON MY MISSILE PUNCH CAP'N" exclaimed Letitia as she drove the rocket into Richard's Mech, killing him instantly.
With her mission complete and the augs freed, Letitia flew back to Detroit where she finally found that hotdog...and proceeded to put it back in the thrashcan.
The End.