For The Love of You
"Robin?"
He rolls over, his round face puffy with sleep. His mask is still on, obscuring eyes that I know are a perfectly clear shade of sapphire. How I love those eyes.
"I am most sorry to disturb you, but I have had another mare of the night. I cannot go back to sleep…"
I pause and watch him, searching his face. I have always gone to his room when I have mares of the night, and he always lets me stay with him.
"And I know you need your sleep, as well. You are always working so hard Robin. For the city and our friends-"
I pause again. I want to add he works hard for me, but I cannot. He seems to be thinking about something because his expression is blank. Perhaps he has returned to sleep.
"And it is most important we get adequate amounts of rest-"
I am interrupted. "Star," he breathes gently. He removes his blankets from the edge of his bed. Robin places a gloved hand on a spot next to him. "It's OK, you can sleep in here."
How he always knows I need him close to return to sleep when I am frightened, I do not know. He comforts me in some strange, absurd way. I wonder if all friends the best share a bed when they are scared.
I feel my face brighten and I flop down beside him. "Thank you, Robin." I kiss his cheek.
I place my body next to his own muscular one. I wonder how this makes him feel. I myself feel strangely exhilarated being this close to the boy I think is perfect.
I yawn and curl up, the way I always do before I slumber. "Good night, Robin," I tell him in what I hope is a cheery voice.
All is quiet for a few moments. I smirk as an idea comes to me.
I wind an arm around his well-developed stomach.
"Starfire?" he asks quietly.
I do not respond. Let him think I am sleeping. Maybe he will tell me something.
I feel his body turn under my arm. Robin is looking at me, I can feel it. How I wish he would remove his mask more often. He claims he only does it for me, which I believe.
However, I cannot stop my mouth from twitching when a thought that he loves me crosses my mind.
I wonder what he is really thinking about. I wonder if he ever dreams of me. And if he does, what goes on in his dreams? I want to know what he is thinking, feeling.
My favorite dreams always include Robin. I suppose they aren't really dreams, but fantasies. In one we are married and have three beautiful children. I would love to be his wife.
These fantasies are just that, unfortunately. Just fantasies. He could never love me, not the way I love him. If he did, he would have told me by now. I am sure Robin knows how I feel.
'Why must Earth boys be so frightened of their feelings?' I ask myself. 'Why can't Robin tell me how he feels, however that may be?'
It is not as if he hasn't had the opportunity to do this before.
Flashback
"How am I to know what you think about me?" I ask, voice trembling. He looks uncomfortable. I hope he is going to tell me that he loves me.
Of course, I should have known better.
"Er, I think it's awesome…the way you shoot starbolts?" he offers, advancing towards me.
"Yes?" I reply, hiding my disappointment.
"And it's really cool that you're brave and the strongest girl ever-" he continues, looking more confident. He envelops my hands in his.
And then we are interrupted.
End Flashback
I can see our children if I think about it long enough. There are three altogether, just as in my own family. Two girls and a boy.
They're beautiful children, these figments of my imagination. They look like their father mostly, especially the little boy I have dreamed up.
I let my mind wander to the fictional family I have created. I can see us in various terran family activities, such as opening gifts Christmas morning and outings to parks.
I wonder if Robin dreams of having a family one day as I do. I know he had a rather sad childhood, and that makes me think he does indeed want to have kids of his own one day. He would be a great father.
I can still feel his perfect eyes on my supposedly sleeping figure. I move slightly, feigning the slumber.
"I'm so sorry," I hear him utter quietly. "I love you."
It takes an extreme amount of self control not to shoot up out of Robin's bed. But I can't resist mimicking him.
"I love you, Robin," I murmur in his ear.
I kiss his cheek again and settle my head behind his so that my breath hits his neck.
"Why is it that you inform me of your feelings when you think I am asleep?" I continue sweetly.
"I don't want you to be stuck with me for your whole life," he mumbles. I can tell he is the color of the terran fruit cherry.
"Maybe I want to be stuck with you," I counter in what friend Raven would call a flirting tone.
I yank on his arm so he will lie on his back. Satisfied that he has not yet moved, I scoot myself down and rest my head on his chest, listening to his now frantic heartbeat.
"No you don't-" Robin starts, but I do not let him finish.
I choose this moment to kiss him. He is shocked for a moment, but then kisses me back.
We kiss with the passion and love we have kept hidden for the two and a half years we have known each other. It is wonderful, the feeling that I am finally kissing him because we love each other.
And maybe there is hope for him after all.
Fin