Hiya guys this is my first ever fanfiction (virgin to writing, please be gentle) it was done in an hour after listening to Coldplay's song The Scientist.
Its set after beginning of season 3 when spencer realises Ashley slept with Aiden.

Um its PG-13? not sure on ratings its a little dark in content.

Please tell me what you think and if i should continue writing fanfic, as how angsty this was i actually enjoyed writing it (im not morbid at all opposite really! lol) Anyway im goin to shut up now! (oh and if theres any spelling errors or grammar let me know i apologise in advanced)

The Scientist

"Look what are you going to say ash? That you love me?, I mean cos that's really clear now isn't it"

Spencer walked away. She not only walked away physically but also mentally she walked away, from Ashley, from Aiden, from the whole situation and her mind began to work over-time, she had already lost so much, she couldn't stand to have her heart ripped out anymore. She decided no more.

Spencer went home, she had already lost her brother, which she blamed herself for, and now she lost the only person that she'd ever fallen in love with, she'd given herself completely to, Ashley and in return got her heart ripped out, stamped on and returned to sender. Not anymore she would no longer feel pain, she would no longer feel…it was for the best.

Paula was working the nightshift, which she offered to do, she worked more frequently now, especially since Clay, and Arthur was holding a night class for kids who were affected by their parents substance abuse. Glen was out, as usual. Spencer was on her own, perfect.

Spencer sat at her desk and started writing down her emotions, her feelings, what she feels, what she felt, all of them centred around Ashley some way or another. Spencer was angry with herself, why was everything centred around Ashley. For one moment couldn't Spencer just hate her for what she had done and not feel guilty? Or not have her heart reminding her that she was in love with Ashley that's why she could never hate her? was it too much to ask?. Well she wouldn't be feeling anything soon.

Spencer finished her letter with apologies, she was sorry for what everyone would go through but she didn't want them to, she didn't want them to morn her selfish behaviour, she wanted them to rejoice over her release from the pain, and the hurt that had become unbearable.

Spencer set down her pen and turned, walking over to her stereo and turning on her favourite song by Coldplay, The Scientist, the piano verse started as Spencer stripped off her clothes and made her way towards the bathroom, the sound of the stereo was deafening loud, but to Spencer was the perfect volume, it totally eclipsed her mind, and her thoughts.

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry,
You don't know how lovely you are.
I had to find you, tell you I need you,
Tell you I set you apart.

Ashley pulled up outside Spencer's house, seeing the only light coming from Spencer's room, she just stared at it, then turned her head away in anger at herself and hit her head on the steering wheel "stupid…stupid". Ashley's guilt angered and frustrated her, how could she allow herself to act so foolishly.

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions,
Oh, lets go back to the start.
Running in circles, coming in tales,
Heads are a science apart.

Ashley contemplated driving off, when the faint sounds of music could be heard. Spencer only played music loud when she was upset or angry. Ashley took a big breath then exhaled contemplating trying to talk to Spencer or not, would she even listen?.

Spencer entered the bathroom and stripped the remainder of her clothes and slowly lowered into the bath and sang along softly to the song "oh take me back to the start".

Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No-one ever said it would be this hard,
Oh take me back to the start.

Spencer took a deep breath, she looked around the room, and turned her head to the side of the bathtub and glanced one more time at the photo of her and Ashley during happier times. They were at the park, laying on the grass just staring at each other, Ashley had taken the picture telling Spencer that "this one's for the grandkids, to show them that we were young once, and just as in love". Spencer let a lone tear drip run down her face at the past memory, but she didn't wipe it away, there was no point.
Spencer looked straight ahead as she completely submerged her body into the water, with only the image of her and Ashley in her mind.

I was just guessing at numbers and figures,
Pulling your puzzles apart.
Questions of science, science and progress,
Do not speak as loud as my heart.

Ashley had exited her car and now was making her way to Spencer's front door, she had to make Spencer see that she was sorry, that she was the one, her only one. Ashley didn't want anyone else, Spencer completed her, and knew her like no other, like no one could, and she was determined to make her see that.

Spencer felt the water cover her face; she closed her eyes slowly wanting her last image to be of her and Ashley not the bathroom ceiling, she breathed out slowly, easily against the heavy water.

And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me,
Oh and I rush to the start.
Running in circles, chasing tails,
And coming back as we are.

Ashley knocked the front door. No answer. Ashley continued knocking "Come on Spencer please, open the door, let me explain…please talk to me…. Spencer…" Ashley continued knocking the sounds getting louder and faster as her frustration got the better of her, she had to keep her determination or she had nothing, she had already lost Spencer.
NO she refused to believe it, they were meant to be and she was going to prove that. "SPENCER I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE, ANSWER THE DOOR, OR I'LL KICK IT DOWN IF I HAVE TO, I LOVE YOU! PLEASE, PLEASE SPENCER DON'T DO THIS"

Spencer felt the last stream of air exhale her lungs and the water began to get colder, not that she cared in the least, although recently feeling anything, warmth or cold was significant as every emotion felt numb. Spencer felt the water trickle its way down her nose as she no longer breathed out, the water was quickly filling her lungs, she felt the urgency in her mind to breath, to push her head above the water and escape it, however she fought the urge, she had to do this.

Nobody said it was easy;
oh it's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No-one ever said it would be so hard.

Ashley was not getting an answer, she tried one last time "SPENCER…" nothing no reply no shout of "GO AWAY Ashley" nothing, it was over, Spencer had given up on her…on them, Ashley turned away from the door and Spencer.

I'm going back to the start.

Spencer felt numb and the need to breath became greater, urgent, and painful. The image of her and Ashley started to drift so did Spencer, she knew this was it, she felt it, felt herself drifting, floating even, everything felt numb and like stone, blackness enveloped her, as she felt a pull.

oh, ooooo,

Spencer was suddenly yanked from the darkness, shock made her automatically gasp harsh and loud, the instant air hit her lungs she coughed and spluttered, her vision was blurred and so was her hearing, it was like being in a bubble, everything felt far away, she heard murmurs or shouts, she wasn't sure volume wasn't distinctive to her anymore. Spencer's eyes became less blurred with every breath and cough she took as her lungs tried to get rid of the water and breath in air, Spencer's confusion at the moment, was at the forefront of her haziness, until she looked up from lying on the bathroom floor to see a form finally coming into focus.

ah, ooooo,

"Aa.. cough…Ashley…wha,..?" Spencer was tightly grasped by an hysterical and crying Ashley mumbling and screaming simultaneously "don't you ever leave me….don't you dare I love you, for god sakes I love you" her grasp tightened on Spencer, clutching for dear life. Spencer grasped just as tight, tears coming to her eyes and the realisation of her actions finally hitting her, the affect of the situation finally becoming clear. Spencer instantly felt something, regret, hurt and an emotion that had been present except clouded by hurt and betrayal; Love " I'm sorry, I'm sorry…. I…I love you".

oh, ooooo,
oh, ooooo