Chapter 1- The Beilschmidt Brothers
The cheery sound of the doorbell chimed throughout the house.
The two Beilschmidt twins, as was their habit, both rushed to answer it. Usually, it was Gilbert, the more long-legged and athletic of the two, who reached it first. Other times, it was Otto Ludwig, by sheer virtue of a sharp ear and general proximity to the door.
Imagine their surprise as their (abysmally slow) eldest brother beat them to it.
Roderich, the eldest of the three brothers, regarded the man at the door with a mask of passive disinterest, (which, realistically, was how he regarded everything). In this case though, there really was much to be regarded, he determined, trying not to gawk at the man's...somewhat bizarre choice in clothing. (His tie was inside out? Did he even know how to tie a tie?)
The man shifted awkwardly on the doorstep, hefting a rather large briefcase threatening to pull him over the edge of the doorway and into the roses below. (Pinstripe and tweed? Really?) He muttered fervently to himself, pulling papers out of every conceivable pocket, (and then some...who even had that many pockets?) eventually pulling out a notecard covered in scribbles, as he grinned in satisfaction.
(And that didn't even address the fact that he was holding a slightly dazed, fully grown, owl underneath his left arm.)
"Can I help you...?" Roderich asked, skeptically.
"I do believe you've dropped this..." the man stammered, holding the owl out for Roderich to see.
Otto and Gilbert, from the window, covertly watched the exchange: eyes wide as they glanced at everything-from the owl, to the briefcase (was it shaking?), to the various pockets that seemed to appear and vanish, seemingly at will.
"Do we know you?" Roderich asked, raising an (immaculately groomed) eyebrow.
"Uh..." the man said, his eyes glazing over. His arms fell to his sides, like he wasn't quite sure what to do.
The gears in his head, Roderich decided, were obviously having a slow day.
"Ah, right!"
The man removed his pointed black hat (No comment.) and gave a sweeping bow. "My name is Jarvis Laurence Talbot, representative of the Ministry of Magic," he said, replacing his hat.
Roderich narrowed his eyes. (Magic? Perhaps he had misheard...) It all seemed very rehearsed. Like a joke that the twins'd play.
"The Ministry of Magic." Roderich repeated flatly. Mr. Talbot nodded excitedly, apparently thrilled to be understood.
"Yes, sir! Are you the father of..." he began, referencing his heavily notated flashcard, squinting. "...Otto Ludwig von...Beilschmidt and Gilbert Maria von Beilschmidt?"
"I am their legal guardian, yes."
"Oh, goodie!" Talbot exclaimed, hurriedly shoving the cue-card back into one of the many tweed pockets. "Ah...Might I assume you have received a certain owl-delivered letter, or..." He looked down at the owl (now dozing) haphazardly cradled under his arm. He let out a small "oh!" of surprise, removing a pair of envelopes loosely clamped in its beak.
"There we are!" Mr. Talbot proclaimed, handing the twin envelopes to Roderich with a flourish. "Two acceptance letters into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!"
Roderich regarded him a moment longer, the expression of confused disgust finally manifesting itself in his expression.
"I know of no applications to a 'Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry'," he replied coldly. "Frankly, the entire thing sounds made up. I don't appreciate being lied to. Thank you for being a perfect waste of a Saturday morning."
The door was slammed in Talbot's face.
"S-Sir, you forgot the letters..." Talbot sputtered, springing towards the door. "Sir, allow me to explain! Oh my, I do wish this was covered in the assessment...Mister Beilschmidt!"
The door cracked open, Roderich glaring through it.
"It's Edelstein."
"Sorry, Mister Edelstein! Please, this is an excellent education opportunity for young Otto and Gilbert!"
"'Excellent education opportunity'," Roderich declared through, his anger reaching a crescendo with each distastefully spat word. "More like overly suspicious! 'Witchcraft and Wizardry', what sort of nonsense is that? And to a school I've never even heard of, much less sent out applications for-"
"You don't apply for Hogwarts! Hogwarts applies for you!" Mr. Talbot shot back in frustration. "It may seem absolutely ridiculous to you as a Muggle, but please, I am a trained professional! Hear me out!"
"What did you just call me?"
Talbot dodged his question. "Have you even noticed anything...odd about your children?" he pressed.
"They're my brothers."
"Children, brothers, same level of stress. But things happening like they, ah, shouldn't? Objects moving by themselves, animals mysteriously following them wherever they go, lights going out after you've just replaced them?"
Silence from the door.
Roderich allowed it to crack open (just a sliver) once again, his forehead balmy with drops of sweat.
"What you you know about any of that?" he demanded.
"Those, Mr. Edelstein, were no series of uncorrelated coincidences," Talbot said, holding up the two letters. "That is magic."
"Just take the letters, Roddy!" Gilbert griped, perhaps a little too loudly. Roderich jumped, swivelling his head towards the direction of the twins, making the younger of the two wilt under his withering glare.
Oops.
Sheepishly, Roderich obliged, keeping a wary eye on Mr. Talbot. Otto, jumping down from the couch, widened the gap in the door, gesturing for Talbot to come inside.
Into the living room the four of them went. Otto and Gilbert snatched the letters from out of Roderich's hands, leaving him to glare at Mr. Talbot.
"I take it that you're one of those...Magicians, then?"
"Oh, you Muggles! Goodness no, my good man! Magicians are the funny charlatans that hide rabbits in tables and saw each other in half. Those are pure Muggle inventions. Rather clever, actually. No, the term that we use is either 'witch' or 'wizard'."
"Muggle. What does that word even mean? I trust you aren't...insulting me, sir?"
Mr. Talbot let out a laugh, tilting his head backwards heartily. "Pardon, I simply find it so incredibly amusing-! Muggles always seem to think we're attacking them!"
"You didn't answer my question."
"Ahem. Of course," Mr. Talbot said, re-assuming his pseudo-businesslike disposition. "'Muggle' is simply the term to describe a non-magical person. The human kind, specifically."
"This Hogwarts," Roderich paused. "Did you go there?"
"Why, yes!" Talbot exclaimed, his clean-shaven face brightening considerably. "I graduated three years ago, today."
"Hmm, yes, of course you did..." Roderich muttered. "Where exactly is this Hogwarts?"
"Its location is unmarked and warded to prevent unwelcome guests," Talbot explained. "Makes it far safer that way. However, I would say it's located somewhere in the Scottish highlands."
"Scotland?" Roderich asked, raising an eyebrow. "That's...rather far. Why should I bother sending my brothers to an unvisitable, foreign school for magic of all things? What will they learn at this 'Hogwarts' that they won't learn at a local, credible school?"
"Magic, for one."
Roderich crossed his arms, huffing. "You're going to have to do better than that."
Talbot sighed, scratching his cheek in apprehension. "Well...it did warn in the manual that this was a possibility," he murmured, stooping down to fiddle with the contents of his briefcase.
Roderich watched in near abject horror as papers from every crevice of the attache fluttered out. One was folded like a paper crane, and seemed to flap its wings as it sailed out into the living room. Another appeared to have been soaked in some form of violet...juice. (It was all he could do to avoid lunging forward and preventing it from dripping on his precious carpet.)
"Um, Brüder? When can we open these?" Otto asked, holding up the greedily examined envelope.
"When we see what this is all about," Roderich growled, almost dazed at the sheer amount of stuff one could fit into a single briefcase.
(He already knew that he wanted one.)
"Let's see..." Mr. Talbot muttered, the pages of his apparent manuel fluttering in a whirlwind of dust and time-softened pages. "Ah! Here we are! Hm, yes, I can do that!"
From an inside pocket of his (terribly unfashionable, overly loose) tweed jacket, he retrieved a long stick, slightly crooked, but very smoothly polished. He held it out for the brothers to see, held gingerly, like a conductor's baton.
"This," he explained, "is a wand. It's a generally accepted staple of at least, the European magical world, and, once one is properly instructed in the usage of it, the vast majority of Muggle inventions become redundant. Your brothers, Mr. Edelstein, have shown the proper amount of aptitude to be able to wield such a device. You ought to be proud! Ordinarily, the policy would be to send the boys to Beauxbatons due to your geographical location, but it seems Hogwarts has gotten to you first! It's honestly an honor; my alma mater has over a millennium of service, you know."
"The odd incidents," Roderich realized, "That's how you've chosen to explain them?"
"That is the explanation, I assure you."
"Hmph. You probably aren't lying, because at this point, you've been going to rather great lengths to pull a practical joke."
"Heavens no! That would be cruel! Shall I put your mind at ease, then?"
Roderich raised his hand dismissively.
"...Okay, I'll just...show you then."
Mr. Talbot hopped to his feet, his wand raised. He pointed it at his briefcase, and said:
"Wingardium Leviosa."
Roderich's eyes widened, and Otto and Gilbert looked excitedly from their older brother who was rubbing his eyes and wiping clear his glasses, as the briefcase that spun and danced about like a bird in the air.
"So we can learn to do that?!" Otto exclaimed in wonder, staring at Mr. Talbot as he went on to make the flying briefcase perform tricks with a few other choice pieces of furniture, watching as it weaved in and out of a small cloud of papers.
"Oh, all that and more! This is simply a party trick in comparison to what you'd be able to do! Believe me, there are far more practical things to learn than making one's luggage careen across a living room, but it serves well as a demonstration."
"Hey Roddy, does this mean that we can open our letters now?" Gilbert asked, tossing aside the torn envelope with such vigor that Otto was certain for a moment that he had ripped the letter in half.
Roderich screamed in frustration, his head buried in his arms.
"Awesome! Thanks, Rod, you're the best."
Otto regarded the letter a moment longer with curiosity, fingering the wax seal, bearing what was most probably Hogwart's emblem stamped into it. Carefully, he peeled the lip of the envelope off from the under the seal, gingerly pulling out the letter.
Huh, parchment. That was a little weird.
While Gilbert excitedly read his letter aloud, Otto followed along in his head to himself:
HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY
Headmistress: Minerva McGonagall
(Order of Merlin, First Class)
Dear Mr. Beilschmidt,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.
Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July.
Yours sincerely,
Anouk Hendriks
Deputy Headmistress
Otto let out a little gasp in excitement, hurriedly separating the two pages, examining the list.
UNIFORM
(for dress code, please refer to the reverse side)
First-year students will require:
1. Three sets of plain work robes (black)
2. One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear
3. One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar)
4. One winter cloak (black, with silver fastenings)
Please note that all pupil's clothes should carry name tags.
COURSE BOOKS
All students should have a copy of each of the following:
The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1) by Miranda Goshawk
A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot
Magical Theory by Adalbert Waffling
A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration by Emeric Switch
One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllida Spore
Magical Drafts and Potions by Arsenius Jigger
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander
Practical Defense and Identification by Cadbury Einzbern
OTHER EQUIPMENT
1 wand
1 cauldron (pewter, standard size 2)
1 set glass or crystal phials
1 telescope
1 set brass scales
Students may also bring, if they desire, an owl OR a cat OR a toad.
PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS
ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICK
Students will be expected to bring their own trunks, writing utensils, parchment, and additional sets of clothing for exercise purposes. STARTING THIS YEAR students will be allowed to bring in Muggle-styles for each of these items and use them in classes.
Note: Starting this year, it is MANDATORY for every student to have at least two sets of Muggle exercise clothing and a pair of sturdy Muggle running shoes.
"Oh!" Mr. Talbot exclaimed, clapping his hands. "I've heard that this year they've added a Muggle physical activity program or two to the curriculum! It's sure to be rather exciting, you kids are so lucky!"
"...So there's sports? What's the big deal?" Gilbert asked, pausing his reading.
"'What's the big deal'?! It's a huge deal! A chance to run about, burn off extra energy, and build your physical stamina and strength is crucial to so many professions in the wizarding community. We don't give Muggles nearly enough credit for this particular idea."
"... Whatever you say, Mr. Talbot."
Yours sincerely,
Lucinda Thomsonicle-Pocus
Chief Attendant of Witchcraft Provisions
Otto flipped the page over, stomach groaning internally as he beheld-yes, a dress code. (Screw that!) Mr. Talbot, who had taken to pacing about excitedly while they read their letters, patted his shoulder consolingly.
"Oh, it's not nearly as bad as it sounds!" Mr. Talbot affirmed. "In fact, I'm convinced you'll rather like it by the end of the year."
He huffed. Mr. Talbot, in his usual jovial manner, clapped him on the back. "You'll see, you'll see! Nonetheless, you have a month and a half to decide if you wish to wait for Beauxbatons to send their letter to you or not. Whenever you're ready to make a decision, take this owl and write a letter with your affirmation and tell it to go to Hogwarts."
"It can find Hogwarts by itself?" Otto asked, head cocked. "I thought you said that it was warded or something."
"It's warded, yes, but first of all, this is a Hogwarts owl. He could fly his way home from any corner of the planet. Secondly, while ol' Barnaby here may look like an ordinary Screech Owl, he thinks much more like...say, a bloodhound or another breed of a Muggle dog. So long as he knows the recipient, he can find them through merits of senses alone. The specific logistics of it aren't my field, actually. Who knows? Maybe you'll learn why they can during your studies, someday."
Otto, breathless, looked at Mr. Talbot in awe. (There was no question. He was going.)
"Well! I do believe my business here is done, Beilschmidts and Edelstein! May we meet again!" Mr. Talbot exclaimed, raising his wand once more. "Accio Briefcase!" It came careening towards him, forcing the other occupants of the living room to duck. He caught it in his hand, but before it had the opportunity to topple him it over, he turned on his heel, and a loud noise (CRACK!) like a gunshot resonated throughout the household.
He was gone.
"Good riddance," Roderich muttered under his breath, before receiving a nudge to the ribs from Gilbert.
"Aw, shut it, Rod! This is amazing!"
"We're going to a magic school!" Otto chimed in, giggling madly. "A magic school! With broomsticks, a-and witches, and wands, and potions, and a magic school!"
"I know, right?! Hah, I knew there was something weird about us! Who'da thunk it'd be magic?"
"Brüder," Otto asked, turning to look at Roderich (who was sulking very decidedly on the couch) "How are we going to get to Scotland?"
"I suppose that Talbot croney is going to come and take you from me at some point. We'll see," he replied darkly.
(What's with him?) Otto mouthed. Gilbert shrugged, rolling his eyes.
"So you don't mind if we go and write those 'yes' letters, then?" Gilbert asked, scooping up the exhausted owl.
"I believe the matter's out of my hands, at this point."
Otto looked sympathetically back at Roderich, who avoided his gaze. The boy sighed, and turned to follow his brother into the other room as they pulled out twin sheets of paper to scrawl out each of their answers.
Yes I want to go to Hogwarts.
-Gilbert Maria von Beilschmidt
I formally accept the invitation to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Have a nice day! :)
-Otto Ludwig von Beilschmidt
A/N: And so this project begins! Honestly, I have no idea where this came from, but boy howdy, it's taken off in ways I'd never expect. This story is going to be slightly OC-heavy (seeing as it takes place post-Voldemort and so many of the main cast are either dead or no longer in a usuable position), but fear not, as there will also be a lot of familiar faces. Nonetheless, I'd always appreciate comments on the OCs that I do include. I'm always willing to improve. :)
Roderich was especially fun to write here.
Feel free to leave a review on your way out! I've willing to PM two (short) outtakes to those who do. ^v^