Standing Still

Category: angst/romance

Pairing: Omelia

Summary: Owen finds Amelia standing outside his caravan in a storm, soaked and making no attempt to move.

Warnings: Spoilers based on the sneak peak and speculation for 11x19 'Crazy Love'.

Disclaimer: I own nadda :P

Authors Notes: Hmmm... I really liked this idea when I started writing it but I don't think it executed very well. Or maybe I just got bored. Never-the-less I finished it so I thought I'd post it :)

Owen squinted at his phone trying to shake the tiredness from his eyes as he listened to the rain bouncing off the tin roof. It made the small caravan feel cold and empty, adding to his bad mood and increasing his frustrations.

It had been a miserable day, capped off by Amelia declaring that they were a mistake and ending things between them. He'd been left standing open mouthed as she'd fled, shocked and a little hurt that she thought he could be palmed off so easily. She'd lost a patient, she was upset and he understood that but after watching her work and seeing her take on numerous challenges he knew there had to be real fear motivating her actions. The knowledge had prompted him to give her some space but the longer he went without seeing her the worse he felt about the situation.

With a sharp sigh he tapped his phone against the window ledge, stretching his legs over the crumpled bed sheets. He wasn't ready to give up on them and despite everything a small smile tugged his lips as he remembered the morning he'd woken up next to her.

She'd been so peaceful while she slept and he'd been mesmerized, learning two new things about her.

Firstly, that she didn't move.

She was like a rock when she was asleep and he'd had to check her a few times just to reassure himself she was still breathing. Eventually the temptation to let his touch linger had become too much and he'd reached out threading his hand through her hair. She hadn't so much as stirred cluing him in to his second discovery.

She definitely wasn't a morning person... but even when she was bleary eyed and demanding coffee there was still something enigmatic about her.

The memory of her abrupt decision to end things quickly wiped the smile from his face. He didn't want to stop seeing her and he chewed his lip thoughtfully, leaning his head back against the window. If she needed time he was okay with that but the way they'd left things pressed tightly in his chest and he thumbed his contacts finding her in the recently called list.

Taking a deep breath he hit dial and brought the phone up to his his ear listening to it ring.

A faint muffled tone cut through the wind and he jerked upright. It sounded like the noise was coming from outside the caravan and he climbed off the bed, stumbling in an attempt to get to the door. He still had the phone up as he fumbled with the latch and when he flung it open, he froze as his gaze landed on Amelia's soaked form.

The call in his hand went to voice-mail and he shoved the device in his pocket as he stared at her. She was huddled with her hands wedged firmly her pockets, no coat, just a thin leather jacket and jeans that were thoroughly drenched. She had to be freezing and he felt a wave of concern wash over him as he called out over the downpour. "Amelia? What the are you doing out here?"

She squinted through the rain trying to blink the water from her eyes. It was a reasonable question but she had no idea how to answer it. She wasn't what most people would call a normal well adjusted person. She didn't cook. Exercise usually came in the form of flinging a giant ice-cream spoon at the tv and she'd started buying darker clothes so the colors wouldn't run in the washing machine... but she was a damn good neurosurgeon -probably one of the best- and her failure today had hit hard. She'd lost a patient and taken it out on him because she was scared of getting too close.

"I'm not running-" she yelled above the wind, trying not to think about how crazy she looked. She'd wanted to see him, to talk about earlier but she'd frozen before reaching his door. Fear had ebbed its way in preventing her from taking the few necessary steps to reach him and even though she hadn't managed to go any further she was strangely proud of herself for standing her ground.

"Okay, good... great." He wasn't entirely sure what to do with the comment but his doctorly instincts were quickly deeming small talk unimportant. She was far too pale, probably already numb to the elements and stubbornness wasn't a safeguard against pneumonia. He needed to get her out of the rain and he opened the door wider holding it against the wind. "Come on... we can talk about this inside."

She wanted to move but her feet refused to cooperate and she stared at him trying to get passed the doubt that had crawled back under her skin. Maybe it was only a small ask but going inside was one step closer to falling in love with him and she didn't know how much further she could slide down that slope before it became a downward spiral.

A load roar of thunder clapped over-head and Owen flinched debating whether or not to go down and drag her inside. Part of him wanted to but when he caught a glimpse genuine fear in her expression he stopped himself. The reaction had nothing to do with the storm. She was scared of something else, trapped like a deer trapped in headlights and he deliberately kept his movements slow so he wouldn't startle her.

She remained completely still as he closed the distance between them and he found her hand in her pocket pulling it out with a gentle sigh. Lightning lit up the field around them and he laced their fingers together hoping the action would get though to her. Whatever she was afraid of, their connection was about more than long conversations trying to figure out 'what ifs' and where to go next. There'd been an unspoken bond between them from the start and he waited for her to remember that, urging her to towards him with a soft tug.

She took the step feeling the tightness in her chest start to ease. Even though he was being forward she could see patience in his expression and there was no doubt in her mind he would stand outside with her for another hour if that's what it took... but she didn't need any more time.

When it was just them, away from the hospital and everybody else, she felt safe and she removed her other hand instinctively raising it to his cheek. His skin was warm and she skimmed her thumb over his stubble looking up at him through the rain. He smiled softly she felt the last of her doubts wash away as she pulled his head down, brushing her lips against his mouth and shivering as his heat entered her body. She hadn't even realized she was cold and when another flash of lightening forced them apart she felt less hesitant, following him the few steps back to his caravan.

Owen shut the door behind them and turned, his gaze drawing to the slight blue tint glossing her lips. She'd started shaking as soon as soon as he'd taken her hand outside, the movement probably kick-starting her body's reaction to the freezing temperature and he hated the thought of her standing out there alone. "Please tell me you haven't been out there for hours?"

"Half at most-" she shrugged, rubbing her arms to try and warm up. Honestly she had no idea but she could tell he was worried. His eyes were in doctor mode, running over and checking her but she was fine and his thorough inspection was sparking the wrong kind of reaction from her body. "Owen relax, I'm okay."

"No you're not-" he stepped forward, closing his hands over the damp leather, "look at you, you're shaking." Her shoulders felt small and frail under his touch and he resisted the urge to berate her for being stubborn and ignoring his concern. "You need to get out of those wet clothes."

An involuntary smirked tugged at her lips and despite everything she couldn't stop the playfulness that laced her tone, "only if you promise to take advantage?"

His mouth dropped open but the response quickly morphed into a small smile. He he would have liked nothing more than to take full responsibility for getting her warm but now wasn't the time to be getting distracted. "Amelia, I'm serious..." He dropped his hands, needing to create distance between them. If he didn't he knew exactly what was going to happen. "I'll get you something to change into."

"No fun..." she mumbled it under her breath as she shrugged out of her jacket. She didn't know what she was doing. Her head was telling her to abandon ship, get out now before things got any harder but her heart wanted to crawl beneath the sheets in his caravan and never leave. They were both broken, both damaged... and if she slipped up again she could end up taking him down with her. Not to mention the hit both their careers could take.

She watched him dig around for a change of clothes and swallowed roughly.

If there had ever been a time to sprint from a situation, it was now.

Owen pulled out two pairs of sweat pants and a couple of old t-shirts hoping they would work. He didn't have a lot of room for clothes so his wardrobe basically consisted of shirts, work pants and warn items to sleep in but at least the garments were dry.

Closing the drawer her turned back to her extending the bundle, "here, put these on."

She hesitated, unable to stop over-analyzing the situation. If she ran where would she go? Out of Seattle, back to Addison? No. She was building a life here and until the doubt had started to creep in she'd actually been happy. She didn't want to throw that away but she didn't want to ruin it ether.

"Amelia?" He recognized the withdrawn expression on her face and stepped closer to her. Though he suspected it had more to with preoccupied thoughts he didn't want to rule out shock and he dropped the pile of clothes on the bed so he could take her hand. Her skin was still freezing to touch and he brought her fingers up to his mouth, blowing hot air over them in an effort to warm her up. When she wordlessly lifted her gaze he sighed wishing he could hear what she was thinking. "Hey, don't shut me out... this is me remember? Whatever we are you can always talk to me, okay?"

She breathed out, slowly nodding her head. If nothing else he was right about needing to change her clothes. Even though it would only take ten minutes for her to get home the cold was starting to seep into her body and when she took a step back from his warmth her fingers trembled, fumbling with the buttons on her shirt. She caught him staring and a fain blush covered her cheeks as she cleared her throat, "I just need a minute."

"I ah... yeah sure... sorry-" he stumbled over the words, grabbing his shirt and pants from the bed. It wasn't like they hadn't seen each other naked before and they were doctors but something about the intimacy of the moment caught him off guard and he turned his back to give her some privacy. He changed slowly, making sure he gave her enough time to get dressed and when he caught her asking what she should do with the wet clothes he breathed a quick sigh of relief, "hamper under the sink."

He followed and discarded his own wet items there, closing the lid and doing his best to hide a discrete smile as she stayed by his side. The shirt she was wearing was far too big but it looked adorably sexy wrapped around her small frame and a small stab of possessiveness washed over him. He was starting to understand exactly why part of her wanted to run. They were falling hard and fast and taking things slowly wasn't making a damn bit of difference, if anything it just made him want her more.

"So-" he puffed out a sigh as he tucked a strand wet hair back behind her ear, "you want to tell me what's going through that incredibly smart head of yours?"

She laughed softly resisting the urge to forget her fears and drag him back to the bed instead. As much as she wanted to they needed to talk and she swallowed dryly, unable to keep her gaze from turning serious. "What if this is a mistake? I'm not good at this-" she motioned between them, "I screw things up, I ruin people. I mean even Meredith said-"

"Wait, you talked to Meredith?" A protective flare spurred up and he frowned wondering if she was against the relationship. If she was there was every chance her opinion had more to do with Cristina being her best friend... and he shook his head, bringing both his hands down to rest over Amelia's shoulders. "Exactly what did she say?"

She heard the strain in his voice and hesitated. She didn't want to shift the blame to her sister in-law. Maybe the comments had been a little blunt and honest but they stemmed from genuine concern and she couldn't deny there was truth behind them. She'd been nicknamed hurricane Amy for a reason. "It doesn't matter what she said... she wasn't trying to cause problems, she was being realistic. I have a lot of baggage-"

"And you think I don't?" He cut her off, trying to get her to think outside the bubble she was trapped in. Intentional or not, Meredith's comments had obviously had a negative impact and he swallowed his annoyance, putting it aside so he could focus on reassuring the only opinion he cared about. "We've both been through things and maybe one of the reasons we do work is because we're respectful of those flaws. You would never tell me you're a bad neurosurgeon because you're not. You know you're not and the fact that you can stand here and tell me you're scared of your feelings, that you have doubts is nothing short of admirable. It's more than a lot of people can do."

She wanted to laugh, tell him that admitting her weaknesses were only half the battle but when she was with him she didn't want to be a mess. She wanted to be better, somebody to be proud of and she stole a deep breath determined to keep her head in the game. "How can you be so sure about this?" Yes, she was scared... but she was also standing her ground and not running. That had to count for something.

"I'm not-" he breathed the words out softly. He owed her the truth. She was right, they could both end up doing more harm than good.

Or they could be perfect for each other.

The only way they were going to find out the answer was by exploring the connection between them it made no difference to him how they approached it because he'd already moved well passed the point of backing out. "Look... I have no idea if this is the right thing or not. Maybe we are making some terribly, huge mistake but you want the honest truth? I don't care... because for me it's worth the risk. You're worth it."

The sincerity behind his gaze made heart skip and she shook her head caught up in the silence that fell between them. She'd only ever been in love once and it had been fast and intense. She'd fallen head first with her eyes closed and even though she didn't regret it she didn't want it to be like that again. She wanted to appreciate it, savor the special moments and if he thought she was worth the risk then maybe she could be. "Owen...?" He titled his head in question and her lips curved as she reached up clutching the front of his t-shirt, "I'm not running."

She tugged him closer and he dropped his hands, slipping them around her back. He couldn't help it. The rational side of his brain said they should take some time to process the move forward in their relationship but he didn't want to let her go. The air in the caravan was too cold for one person and when her lips pressed under his neck teasing him with light kisses he slid his hands down to hoist her up.

She smiled closing her legs around his waist. She felt safe. Even as he landed them on the mattress he protected her from the fall and she fanned her fingers down his arms urging him closer. Maybe she'd been wrong. Maybe life didn't always have to be a choice between diving in or running away. If she could hold her ground, stand still long enough to catch her breath then easy became a matter of perception.

Because staying might destroy her... but leaving him would be harder.