Hey.
"Yeah?"
Remind me again why we're here and not back home, fixing my leg so I don't have to hobble along on these stupid crutches.
"I already told you. We're going shopping."
And you couldn't leave the cripple at home because…?
"Because there's a creepy dude in town who likes me and I don't want him to talk to me."
Well, is he afraid of crutches?
"Ha ha! No, Ed, but he might be afraid of YOU."
I'm not very fearsome with only one leg, you know.
"You're fearsome enough for my purposes."
Are you afraid of me?
"Of course not! But the creepy dude might be."
I'm still confused. Why don't you just knock the creepy dude on his ass?
"Because that would be too violent."
There's such thing as too violent?
"Not that you would know anything about it, but yes."
Uhhh-huh. So basically you're putting me through the torture of walking a mile into town on three legs because you want me to punch out some creeper who likes you?
"Yes."
Because you don't want to punch him out.
"Yes."
Because that would be too violent, and… you don't want him to think you are violent?
"Right."
But you ARE violent.
"I'm not violent. I'm just… forceful."
Then be 'forceful' to the creeper, Win.
"No!"
Why?
"Because that's not how it—Oh no, there he is! Quick, hide me!"
Where? I don't see any—hey, watch the crutches! You want me to topple over?
"Sorry. Come on, stop making a scene. Maybe he won't notice us."
Is it the guy with the glasses and really horrible acne?
"Yes. Is he looking this way?"
Define 'looking.'
"Ed!"
He's looking this way.
"Is he coming over?"
"HEY, WINRY! WHAT'S UP?"
That answer your question?
"Oh, man… c'mon, let's hurry this way before he gets over here. Maybe we can pretend we didn't notice him."
Uh… okay.
"WINRY! WIN! WAIT!"
"He's catching up! Hurry!"
Crutches, remember?
"WIN-RYYYY!"
Winry, I don't think your pretend-we-didn't-hear-him plan is working.
"Haahhh… Me neither. Okay, plan B then."
I punch him?
"Yeah, get a move on!"
Fine, fine. Take this crutch (I'll lean on the other one) and then go stand over there.
"Why?"
'Cause I said so. Go.
"I'm going, I'm going!"
It'll only take a minute, Winry. He looks like a pussy anyway. …Hey, guy! Yeah, you. Come here for a sec. No, just come on.
"What do you want?"
That girl over there says you've been giving her a hard time.
"What's it to ya? You her younger brother or something?"
Fff—agh—you—damn—I'm OLDER!
"Take a chill pill, pipsqueak. What's your problem?"
Leave Winry alone. She doesn't want to talk to you, so stop harassing her.
"I'm not harassing her. I bet she didn't even say anything like that. I bet you made that up because you're jealous."
Jealous? Yes, but that's not the point.
"So you did make it up then? Haha, why'd you tell me? What are you, stupid?"
Not at all, but the more you talk the more I'm convinced you are. I may be jealous, but I'm neither envious nor covetous.
"You must be an idiot. Those mean the same thing!"
Wrong. Go read a dictionary, asshole. But before you leave—eat this!
"Ow! Shit—my tooth! What is your hand MADE of?!"
Haha. Just steel.
I know I should update my in-progress fics before writing new ones, but I feel uninspired for those ones at the moment. This concept, on the other hand, wouldn't leave me alone. It's a subtle statement about the nature of the Ed/Winry relationship, and I'm really hoping some of you will get it without me needing to explain, but I don't want to hope so much. Here's what you need to know to figure out the moral of the story:
Jealous (adj) - fearful or wary of being supplanted; apprehensive of losing affection or position.
Envy (n) - a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another's advantages, success, possessions, etc.
Covet (v) - to feel immoderate desire for that which is another's.
If you don't get it, think about it. You'll figure it out.