Oneshot crack flick have fun

Large amount of this occurs in Sasuke's head

I'm the little voice inside your head that you hate

Two years since he came back, two years that he had killed his brother and his snake master, two years since his betrayal of the very village that he now sleeps. Sasuke Uchiha, Avenger, monster, sole survivor of the Uchiha massacre leaned on the same tree waiting for the same teacher with the same pink haired teammate was annoyed out of his mind.

'I came back for this! I have become more powerful, achieved my life goal and did much more in-between and now I am in the same situation I was in two fucking years ago!" Sasuke thought as he stared into nothingness .

'It could be worse'

'Oh how could it be…who the hell are you?'

'I am you from the future!' said the voice in a long droned out way making chain sounds in the background.

'No you're not you don't even sound like me' Sasuke said coldly

'Fine! My name is Deadpool. My mind has been trapped in your reality for years! It's like watching paint dry most of the time!'

"How did your mind get stuck here?"

'I have no idea Logan said there was free porn in cerebro but you know what there wasn't! So I got stuck here and I have figured out how to talk to people so guess what I'm talking to you!'

'Lucky me'

'Yes you are! Because now you can hear my sage wisdom like this…Date…The…Fucking…Girl!!! Seriously! I mean what how long have we been talking?! Your eyes have drifted to her hair, to her face, to her eyes, her chest, and now her ass you fucking pervert…even though I was the one looking for free porn…THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT!!!'

Sasuke became semi conscious at Deadpool's remarks and realized he had been staring at Sakura for the last five minutes and quickly diverted his gaze elsewhere.

'Told ya'

'Shut up'

'So this is what you are going to do, you're going to walk up to her and say "Sakura I love you and I wish to be with you for all my life, to forever be devoted to you and you only!"'

'That is the sappiest thing I have ever heard!'

'So what about "Sakura, you, me, bed, naked" that better for ya tough guy!'

'Okay, okay you made your point but just going out and saying that does not just work out of nowhere you know'

'Then ask her on a date dipshit! Jesus Christ I think I might actually be smart in this place!'

'Where do I take her…training grounds, weapon shops, my family's grave site?'

'Wow you are hopeless without my sage wisdom…how about YOU TAKE HER OUT FOR FUCKING DINNER AT A NICE FUCKING RESTRONT FUCKTARD!!!"

"ARGH!!!" Sasuke shouted into the real world where Sakura heard him.

"Sasuke are you okay?" Sakura asked turning around to look at him.

'Here's your chance take it! Take it! Come on I'll sing motivating music for ya to get your confidence up! I believe I can fly! I believe I can touch the sky!

"Its…its nothing just a annoying headache" Sasuke said putting much poison into the word annoying as possible.

'Just trying to help'

"Here I got it!" Sakura said happily as she put her two hands on Sasuke's head and started to channel here chakra into it. Sasuke tired to hold down a blush but he could not help the little pink that got out.

"There that should numb the pain" Sakura said smiling

'Wow I just became really nnnnuuuuummmmbbbb'

'Shut up' "Thanks Sakura I was wondering after practice today if you would like…to…well…"

'I'm walking on sunshine! OH WO WO! I'M SO HIGH!!! IM STILL SINGIN!!! OH OH YA!'

"To go get some…you to …go get something…training with….revenge" Sasuke said mumbling

"Oh, I think I used to much Chakra Sasuke-Kun I think I might of…heh…numbed your brain" Sakura said rubbing the back of his head

'Kami damn it Sakura! Why am I even trying to ask you out!'

'You love her! Chimichunga! Katana! Random words! My dream is to go to the beach with Cable and put sunscreen on his back!'

'That's it! The beach a perfect place to go! Wait…is Cable a guy…or a girl!'

'Katana! Skint bub skint skint bub bub! I sound like Wolverine!'

'Great your out'

"Sakura would you like to go to the beach with me and Deadp….NARUTO, and the other Rookie Nine?" Sasuke said it total desperation now referring to himself as himself and Deadpool.

"Sasuke that's a great idea! I thought you hated the beach?" Sakura said tilting her head to the side a little bit.

'Damn she looks so cute when she does that!'

'Not as cute as Bea Author!'

"I do…I just thought it would…be…a great place to do training" Sasuke lied trying even harder to hold down his blush.

"Oh…training…okay" Sakura said looking a little heart broken

'Damn it I hate seeing her like that since that day'

'What day?'

'The day I left the village and knocked her out'

'What? You knocked her out…why not knocked up'

'You're a pervert you know that? Wait I thought you've been watching the entire time'

'Most of the time I watch the hotsprings or Kakashi and Anko in bed…that is a different kind of sex let me tell you I mean the way they do it I mean wow…it puts all the stuff I have done, Wolverine, Juggernaut, Captain America, and Luke Cage have done combined does not even compare…there are times when you think she's on top but BOOM Kakashi is then it's her again then there on the ceiling, then the bathroom, the couch, even against the fridge in the morning and FYI that's why he's late'

"We don't have to train…we could relax and other stuff…" Sasuke managed to get out before he was enwrapped by a tight hug.

"Sasuke-kun that sounds amazing! I'll go tell Ino and the others!" She said as she rushed down the path running by Naruto who was holding a cup of ramen.

"What is that about?" Naruto asked with noodles hanging out of his mouth.

"Just get a swimsuit and meat us at the beach" Sasuke said as he walked off to his house.

"I thought we had training?" Naruto said but then walked back to his house

'This is going to be so much fun new Best Friend! Staring at girls, going into the water, staring at more girls, playing in the sand, more girls, BBQ, girls, sand, girls, girls, girls, girls…BIKINIS!!!'

"WILL YOU SHUT UP!!!" Sasuke shouted holding his hands over his ears.

'This is a start of a wonderful relationship! Though I must say you are no Cable! You cold hearted, emo, chicken haircut…

THE END!!!