Open Your Eyes and Look North
by Erin Griffin
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Luna/Ginny (unrequited)
Rating: PG
Summary: Luna spends her time alone and lonely, with only one song to comfort her.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter characters. They belong to JK Rowling. I don't own the song Open Your Eyes and Look North. That belongs to the band Dance Gavin Dance and their record lable. Lyrics used without permission.
Note: Dedicated to zagury for the prompt. (Couldn't you have given me something a little happier to work with? I am not good at angst.)
"I stayed up all night thinking of reason why I can't feel your skin..."
Luna wasn't sure why she liked this song. It was harsh and angry, yet these were emotions that she felt as of late. She liked that the song could scream when she couldn't find the courage to. She felt as if these odd words from the mouths of Muggles made sense to her heart. Luna liked to imagine that She was there, somewhere in the crowd of lost faces, just as she herself was whenever she played this song. She imagined herself screaming this pain, tears formed in her eyes or running down her cheeks as she tried to make the one of her dreams understand how she felt.
"I'll forgive you later..."
She thought of the many times Ginny Weasley came to her with a sad smile on her face. How many times had the redhead sighed wistfully and said she was lonely, that she wished she had someone to cuddle with? How often had Luna told her that her arms were open, which led to them holding eachother under the moon by the lake, or on the roof of the Astronomy Tower under the guise of doing homework? Ginny had boyfriends, of course. They just didn't understand the need to hold her, and how important that was to Ginny. When Harry Potter finally saw all of the things that Luna always had, Luna was happy because finally Ginny could be, too. But the night spent holding her were gone, and Luna was left alone again.
"Message to the bird I know your wings will be fine..."
Luna stared down at her mismatched socks, one completely black, and the other one in green plaid. These socks marked her. Kind of, she supposed. They showed how different she was from the rest of them. She didn't care. She never did. Slowly she stroked the long blades of grass at her sides, feeling the moistness of the morning dew upon them. She knew that her skirt was getting slightly wet, but she didn't care. She cared about nothing anymore. Nothing but this song, and the girl who caused her to keep it playing in her ears. She found that she liked the portable music devices that Muggles have made, though she didn't like the larger ones that required discs to play, as the music wouldn't flow properly when she wanted to skip around the back of her house to look for Moonfrogs and Rose crickets. This one was smaller, and it fit nicely in her skirt's pockets, though at the moment it was balanced on her knee as she sat against one of the trees in her back yard.
Luna supposed that at that very moment, she should be crying. Or perhaps screaming much in the way the song was in her ears. But Luna didn't cry. Nor did she scream, no matter how much she wanted to. She hadn't cried once since her mother died, and she couldn't recall the last time she screamed. Luna just sat there. If she listened closely, the screams spoke about police and the lights shutting off. She tried to imagine her heart shutting off. Her feelings and the things she felt inside. Because even if she didn't show it on the outside, she was hurting. She missed being held by Ginny, or just holding her. But she knew then as she knew now that Ginny couldn't love her in that way. So she made up her mind. After this war, if she survived, she will go. To where, she didn't know, but hopefully it would take her away from all of the funerals sure to come, away from Ginny Weasley.
"Cold ice feels so soothing..."
Luna stared once more at the Muggle music device, pressing the button on it that Hermione had showed her when she bought it for her. This button allowed her to hear the song over again on repeat, and she was glad for that, as she didn't have anymore songs on it. Nor did she want anymore. She nodded her head as she thought of the places she would go and creatures she would encounter, the many 'I told you so' owls she'd send to Hermione. Until then, this song will be all she needed, and though she knew even as she thought it that it was a lie, she had to believe it if she ever hoped to move on.
End