Just a One-Shot based on a plot bunny that wouldn't leave me alone.
He scowled as he aimed the handheld vacuum at the tuft of down that continued to float just out of reach and finally gave up, setting the device down on the bar and picking up the infernal novelty backscratcher Mazikeen had gleefully provided him with after she found him contorting his arms in an attempt to reach a particularly elusive spot between his shoulder-blades, and scraped it across his sensitive flesh, the pleasure so great he closed his eyes and moaned softly.
"Bloody Hell." He growled when he again found himself swatting away more of the downy feathers that continued to drift about the apartment.
He stomped back out to the patio and stretched his newly regenerated wings out, flapping them slightly in an attempt to shake off the fluffy remnants of emerging plumage. He tried not to focus on the fact that they still bore more than a passing resemblance to a baby penguin and practiced folding them back and withdrawing them into his back. He stretched them back out and was immediately enveloped in another cloud of tiny feathers, which tickled his nose and clung to his skin, resulting in another insolent glare towards the heavens.
"Maze!" he roared.
"Yes?" she answered, obviously trying not to laugh as she emerged from the apartment.
"Don't start!" he snapped, pointing the backscratcher at her as his eyes flashed with anger.
"They're larger than your old ones." She observed.
"Yes I know, and I am still molting!"
"I can see that." She snickered.
"I cannot deal with this tonight! The detective not only accepted my invitation to dinner, but also did not object to my suggestion that she wear something sinful! I simply cannot allow her to see me in this condition!" he raged, reaching back to scratch his back with the ridiculous red pitchfork.
"So cancel."
"I've already tried to postpone it twice. She's adamant about coming over tonight since she procured a sitter for her spawn."
"Maybe she has a bird fetish?" she offered, snorting back a laugh.
"Not helping."
"Want me to pluck you?"
"I am not amused, Mazikeen."
"What do you want me to do?"
"Gather all the down."
"Where's the maid?"
"This is divine down, Maze, can't have just anyone picking it up."
"Fine." She grouched, crossing her arms.
"Start inside. I'm going to try to get as much off out here as I can."
She glared at him, but went back inside and started sweeping the feathers up while he continued to shake off as much as he could. He checked the time, cursing when he realized the detective was due any minute and rushed into his dressing room where he tucked his wings away and pulled on a white dress shirt and a pair of slacks. He just managed to get the pants buttoned when he heard the elevator doors slide open and the click of heels against the marble floor.
"Lucifer?"
"Just a moment, Darling." He called, exhaling a deep breath and shifting his shoulders, trying to alleviate the blasted itching.
He walked down the steps into the main area of his apartment and crossed over to where she stood next to the bar, dressed in a spectacular red dress.
"You are a vision." He smiled, leaning in to kiss her cheek.
"Oh my-I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed after she sneezed abruptly.
"No harm done." He said, a strange look crossing his face as he brushed his hand down the front of his shirt. "Can I get you a drink?"
"Sure."
"Red ok?" he asked, holding up a bottle of wine.
"That's fine."
"Please make yourself at home, Chloe."
She draped her shawl over a barstool and meandered around his living area, stroking the top of his grand piano before sinking into his luxurious leather sofa.
"Here you are." He said, passing her a generous glass of wine as he moved to sit next to her.
"Wow-excuse me." she said after another rapid fire bout of sneezing.
"Are you not well?"
"I feel fine, I just have a tickle in my nose." She said, taking a sip of her wine.
"How about I tickle you elsewhere to distract you?" he offered, sliding his hand over her knee.
"You are incorrigible." She laughed, shaking her head.
"That wasn't a no." he observed, lifting an eyebrow at her.
"You caught that?" she smirked, lifting her glass for another sip before leaning forward and setting it on the coffee table.
"Oh, Detective, you have no idea the things I'm going to do to you."
"Promises, promises."
His grin turned devilish as he pressed her back into the couch and moved over her. She brought her hands up to cup his face, drawing his mouth down to hers. He kissed her passionately and slid his hand down her thigh then back up under her dress, while she slipped her arms around him.
He let out a startled groan and arched away from her when she raked her nails across his back.
"Your scars! I'm sorry!" she apologized, scrambling out from beneath him.
"No, that's not it." He gritted, concentrating on holding his wings in.
She launched into another fit of sneezing and her eyes began to water.
"Are you sure you're not coming down with something, Love?"
"Are those pillows down-filled?" she asked, pointing at the throw pillows adorning his sofa.
"I have no idea, why?"
"I'm allergic to down feathers." She said, scratching her arms where red welts were starting to form.
"I'm sorry, did you just say you're allergic to feathers?"
"Yes. Very. There must be something in here with down in it, I'm breaking out." She said, holding out her forearms to show him the lumps and red lines caused by her scratching.
"Oh, for Fuck's sake." He growled, dropping his head into his hands. "You might want to back up."
"Why?"
He twisted and tensed, trying to control the unrelenting urge coursing through him, but finally gave up and tore off his shirt, letting his wings spring forth in a hail of fluffy white feathers. She stumbled back until she was pressed against the bar, but she couldn't stop staring at them.
"Wha-what are those?!" she demanded, clapping her hand over her nose and mouth.
"Wings, Darling." He sighed, standing up and stretching them out.
"Lucifer!"
"I know!"
"No, Lucifer! You have wings! I thought you said you cut them off!"
"I did! He graciously gifted me with a new set!"
"Why?"
"Because He hates me?"
"Why do you say that?"
"Because, Detective, you have been completely unaffected by me all this time, but suddenly I get new wings and you're deathly allergic to me!"
"You make a good point."
"I'll have Maze call you a taxi." He groaned when she erupted into another fit of sneezing.
"No need. I drove and I need to stop and get some Benadryl. I'll call you later."
She scrambled into the elevator, nearly knocking Maze over as she tried to exit, and frantically pushed the button to close the door.
"What? She doesn't like the new look?" Maze drawled, smirking at him as he stormed across the apartment to grab a bottle of bourbon from the bar.
"She's allergic to feathers." He answered, throwing back a shot and immediately pouring another as her laughter echoed around him.