CH. 1: The Testy TARDIS
Deep through space and time shot the Doctor's blue TARDIS, stardust trailing in its wake.
Inside the TARDIS was the Doctor. He sat on a stool by the control panel, thumping out a rhythm on the dash with his open palm.
Ba-dump-bump-bump. Ba-dump-bump-bump. Ba-dump-bump-bump.
The beat slowed, and it soon stopped all together. The soft hum of the TARDIS resounded in the Doctor's ears. The time rotator bobbed tranquilly up and down, up and down. A navigator doo-dad buzzed. Colorful signal lights blinked. The Doctor sighed.
"WHY IS EVERYTHING SO DULL?" Just like that, the quiet was shattered, and the Doctor had jumped to his feet, knocked over his stool, and tore around to the other side of the council to pull and crank at the necessary levers and pulleys—all while rambling at a hundred miles an hour.
"Places to go, things to see! Yes, yes, yes. Hear that, old girl?" said the Doctor to his TARDIS. "We're going somewhere today, tomorrow, yesterday-irrelevant! Haha! Yes! Hmm. But Where? When? The Caves of Zaziba? How about that one Kroll expedition? Mandrels sure had it in over their heads that year. Well, it was a one-time thing…If you don't include all that parallel universe wobble-jobble or the incident of 2156-" He babbled on.
Truth was, the Doctor was bored-dreadfully bored—and had been for long while. Even with all of space and time before him, the Doctor could not find interest in any of his fantastical adventures. A visit to the Lost Ruins of Topica—before it was lost? Dull. Saving the headstrong Sfeers from mind-controlling crop parasites? Tedious. No matter where or when he went, the Doctor found it all so dreadfully, terribly boring.
He knew what the issue was; he needed a companion. Yes, a companion would spice things up considerably. However, the simplicity of his solution stopped there.
The old time lord had traversed the universe with many companions, but it was difficult to think of them now without remorse. Numerous enthusiastic, intelligent people had ended up dead—or worse—under his care. Space-time travel was a tricky business.
And so, after the fate of his last few companions, the Doctor had sworn off company for good. He must learn to live with the loneliness and subsequent boredom.
It was another day in the TARDIS, and the Doctor was prattling to his ship as usual. "Really not so bad—this solitary thing…," he said, meandering into the control room. The TARDIS groaned. He patted a wall apologetically, "Of course you're with me, you sexy thing. Ever dependable. Well, I say dependable. Hmm. Not quite the right word there…rare you take me exactly where I want." The Doctor seemed to consider this, but shrugged it off. "Right. 'Course, I see all sorts of beings in my travels—no need to have one of them here. And it's not as if I haven't been alone before…" The TARDIS groaned for a second time. "Feeling testy today, aren't we, love?" The Doctor shook his head. "Fair enough. Well, where shall we go next? The universe is ours…" he trailed off.
It was useless. Even talking aloud provided no real consolation today. The Doctor was in no mood to travel.
His ship's hum filled the air. Gadgets and gizmos whirred and buzzed.
With a sort of finality, he plopped in his stool. "Actually…I don't think we'll be heading anywhere today, old girl. We can have…some quiet time alone, I think." The TARDIS hum resumed. Absentmindedly, he put his hand against the console dash.
Ba-dump-bump-bump. Ba-dump-bump-bump. Ba-dump-bump-bump.
Suddenly, the TARDIS groaned and shook with violence. Alarms sounded, gears and levers shifted, and pulleys wound all of their own accord. The Doctor, having been thrown from his seat, lay in complete bewilderment on the TARDIS floor.
"What are you doing?!" he shouted over the commotion as he struggled to right himself. The TARDIS persisted in its uproar.
"I haven't done anything! How are you doing that!" The complex series of gears, levers, pulleys, and other such contraptions in the central console moved independently, as if invisible people were behind their operation. "Where are we-!" Another unusually violent shake of the TARDIS knocked him off his feet again, cutting him off. Then-the shaking stopped; the alarms shut off. His ship hummed with content. The Doctor retracted himself from the floor with shaking legs. Using the console dash to steady himself, he peered up at the destination screen above the time rotator. It read,
LOCATION: PLANET EARTH.
TIME: CURRENT.
The doors of the TARDIS opened.
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