Title: How We Came to Be
By: Xmarksthespot
Disclaimer: I don't own YJ or How I Met Your Mother
Notes: No prior knowledge of How I Met Your Mother necessary. Just be aware that this is Future!Dick telling his kids the story of his life, his friends' and family's lives, and how they intertwined, all leading up to the day he married their mother. Starts near the beginning of Season1!YJ

Italics — Future!Dick

Normal Font — Past!Dick

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Kids, have I ever told you the story of the greatest day of my life?

It was the day I married your mother, on a summer afternoon with our closest friends just by the alleyway in Gotham City before Earth's eleventh threat made by intergalactic aliens.

Why did we get married by an alleyway? To understand that, we're going to have to go back. Thirty years back to be exact.

I was thirteen, a superhero, and a student at Gotham Academy. Life was great…

Well, it would've been great had your Uncle Wally been a little less…

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"—Rambunctious. Utterly, completely, totally, freaking annoying!" Artemis screeches.

"You're a little enthusiastic with your adverbs today, Arty-Farty." I hold back a snicker the moment I catch her glaring at me—not that glares faze me. Batman's, no, Alfred's are the worst. Try getting past his nonexistent heat-ray vision when he hears something fowl from your mouth is like, the most difficult mission I've ever had to face.

I leap from the side of the couch, casually approaching the angry blonde at the dining room table. My hand latches onto the backing of her chair and I reach for one of M'gann's cookies in the centre bowl.

"What do you think you're doing, Robin?"

I toss her a look beneath my sunglasses, and my mouth twists into a smirk. The chair below her squeaks as she pushes herself away from me, but I continue to invade more personal space than necessary.

"Getting a cookie—what else?" I say innocently, tucking my chin into my neck and widening my eyes. It should be a crime to be as adorable as I am. Not that I'd want it to be a crime. Being a criminal under Batman's roof would make things a little difficult.

Artemis frowns. "By pressing your body against mine?" She is about to push me off and away from her when I flip backwards, one hand supporting me a distance away and the other hand feeding into my mouth. I curl up my legs and continue to watch her.

Darn. There goes tactic number nine. Just how many more tries do I have to go through to get her to realize that hey, this delightful, wonderful teammate of mine is also the handsome stud, Dick Grayson? She doesn't even bother to try to look pass my sunglasses and see my eyes!

I sway my body from side to side, purposely making my shades tilt just enough. Maybe even slip and fall from my face accidentally. Artemis stares at me conspicuously for a brief moment before turning away again. Jeez, just what did Bruce do to these glasses that make them resistant to falling off? They need to be more sistant.

Come on, Arty, just look down at the circus boy.

She pushes herself up from her seat instead; her hair is still in disarray from whatever it was that Wally did to it. Another science experiment gone wrong, I think, but what experiment has ever gone right for that guy—aside from getting superpowers like a boss.

Artemis rolls her eyes, and I'm still topsy-turvy on the floor. Then she scoffs and turns around.

"Damn boys," I hear her mutter before she escape to the communications room. Probably to go to Gotham, I suspect. Dick Grayson should pay her a visit later. Just for fun.

I sigh, and arch my back so that my legs would meet with the floor again. I finish the rest of M'gann's cookies. They're improving alright, maybe on par with Bruce's cooking, especially with how much he's been trying in the kitchen lately.

And that's when I remember.

Bruce and the kitchen.

Bruce in the kitchen.

I press my lips together to fight the urge to laugh out loud. Alfred had scolded me this morning for giggling at the flaming tower of pancakes being constructed in the house.

Bruce should be at work right now; he surely won't be able to see me in the mountain. At least, he won't be able to pay attention to the fact that all cameras are off. The holograms on my computer had just been upgraded, so it made hacking that much more fun. Whatever it is that Bruce was planning—or Batman; can't count out the old man's conspiracy plans—something is off.

Bruce has a bunch of new files on system, but I know those were useless. I saw him make those files. No, he would reconfigure the data he was hiding so that it would seem like it was old news. He may think that he's got the upper hand, but he sometimes forgets—

"I found you," I sing just as I snag open a file hidden in a folder created years ago.

— I'm just that awesome.

It's clearly Justice League related data, and not Wayne Industries. He mentions Clark a few times here and there, and some other Leaguers and civilians involved, but the biggest team up is between him and Giovanni Zatara. I remember him—he used to show Wally and I some magic tricks back when we were kids. He doesn't show up to League meetings often though, not since his wife died. Hey, maybe he's back from his semi-retirement? I should check.

I laugh to myself while I type. Why does Bruce continue to hide information like this from me when it's barely a challenge? He thinks he could hide a folder within a folder and the only thing guarding it is a measly password?

Oh, Bruce.

You've gone soft in your old—

'WARNING. WARNING. WARNING.'

Shi—I stop myself. Alfred's really keen on keeping my mouth clean by having a clean mind.

'WARNING. WARNING. DANGER. DANGER.'

Urgh, Bruce, whyyyyyy?!

I haphazardly push as many buttons as possible to save my ears. Did it have to yell so loud? Okay, so I hacked into Bruce's files even though he said not to, but he's never put a warning label on them. Ever! Wally's definitely going to be all—

"Dude, what the effing hell?! I told you not to install those freaking speakers into your gauntlet!"

Speak of the devil's redheaded spawn.

"Yeah well, it's not as loud as your girlfriend today, dude. Just what did you do to her?" I yell back, still trying to shut Bruce's trap up.

Finally, I manage to subdue the alarms coming from my computer. Only now Bruce knows I tried hacking into his files, and I still have no idea what he's hiding. One day, Bruce. I will out-hack you.

I turn to Wally who has dropped his arms from shielding his ears. He frowns at me.

"Artemis is not my girlfriend," he argues (again). "And I didn't do anything. She just got in the way of my science project!"

I raise an eyebrow—a skill I've mastered since going under Alfred's tutelage. "Are you trying to grow claws or shoot webs to go with your superspeed?" I climb onto the sofa again and Wally opts to sit down on the lounge chair across from me. "Oh, I know! You're brewing a love potion to capture poor Artemis's heart. Tsk, Wally, hasn't Harry Potter taught you anything about love potions?"

Wally looks at me and given his facial expression, I'm either a genius in his mind, or he's wondering why the hell I'm his best friend. I'm betting on the former.

"Actually, I was trying to incorporate lithium hydroxide to—"

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Kids, I remember a lot of things from my childhood. I do not remember all of your Uncle Wally's science experiments, so we're just going to skip that part.

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"Fascinating," I tell him, and lean back onto the couch. I'm still fiddling with my computer. Just what in the world is Bruce keeping from me? Is there a new mission where he's disguised as a chef? Maybe he's bringing in another kid from the circus and Alfred's cooking isn't enough. Maybe he's adopting Conner!

"Dude, why are you smiling?"

I laugh a little, and I know my uncanny superpower has just sent goose bumps along his arms. Finally, I drop my arm away from my vision, and I turn to him. It's definitely the time of day to kick his butt again in Power House 3X.

Of course, video games weren't what we did every day at the mountain. But with Wally's and Artemis's fight checked off of the list, wondering where M'gann and Conner disappeared off to checked off as well, and waving goodbye to Kaldur before he went off with his fish friends done too, there wasn't much else to do. Unless we spar, that is. But it's no fun when there isn't an audience to watch me pummel KF to the floor.

Ah, tis the sad life of mine indeed.

"Dick?"

I instantly jump from my seat at the sound of my name. Okay, me accidentally revealing my identity might have been okay, but Wally straight out saying it was not. Bruce is going to have a cow about it, attempt to cook it, and then poison us all with Salmonella.

"Dude!"

Wally shrug and he almost looks apprehensive about something. He's staring straight down to the carpeted floor. The smile on his face is disposed of, and his hands are vibrating. Clearly not a good sign for our friendly neighbourhood speedster.

"Wally?" I say. "What's up?"

He sighs apathetically again and doesn't say much after.

I roll my eyes. "Wally, if you're not going to say anything—"

"I'm in love with Artemis."

I blink.

Twice.

Thrice.

"Huh," is all I say. I clear my throat after. "Are you sure about that? It might be something you ate, you know."

"No, Dick, I mean it!" Wally exclaims. He jumps from his seat and waves his arms at me. "She's in all of my thoughts, all of my dreams, and I have the urge to just run up to her and hold her in my arms…"

I make a face in disgust. First off, ew. Since when did Wally get so…so…like Clark when he's with Lois? Second of all, called it! I knew there was something going on with those two. But then again, so did everyone else, so I guess that's not entirely special. Third…well, seriously? Wally's my best man and everything, but I live with Bruce. There is no way I could actually give him some sort of advice that will make sense and won't earn him a slap in the face.

Oh. Wait. That sounds kind of fun, actually, but he's as much as my right-hand man as I am his, and so I shall put forth my duties despite the ridiculous pranks I want him to fall to.

"Well, well, Wallace. I'm assuming you need some advice from the actual ladies' man," I tell him, popping the collar of my shirt up.

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I'm going to be honest with you. Up until that point, there were only three girls in my life I considered my friends. Two of which were on my team. So I technically wasn't a ladies man, but with TV those days highlighting every tidbit detail, and my tendency to lie about everything in my life to anyone I knew, I was, in fact, a Ladies' Man—to Gotham, and to Wally.

I'm not saying I'm proud of it, but boy, was it fun to watch your Uncle Wally worship my romancing skills while he was having trouble with his own girl.

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"Uh, please?"

I'm not used to giving dating advice, though in the rare moments that Wally had asked me to give him some, I usually just provided him with basic logic that he failed to see, and advised him to do the opposite of what Bruce did. It often worked. I mean, I got him that date last year for his school dance (and if he hadn't messed that up, I'm sure they could've worked for a while longer).

Gods, I hope he doesn't mess up with Artemis. It would suck to be caught in the middle of those two even more than all of us are now.

But before I could say anything, Conner stomps into the room looking mighty pissed.

"Supes, perfect timing!" I say, and then cock my head to the side, finding the perfect sore spot for him to get him to explain his situation. "Where's M'gann?"

He chooses to sit backwards on one of the dining room chairs with his legs around the seat's backing and then crosses his arms in a typical moody, Conner-like fashion.

"She's with Kaldur learning about the ocean," he mutters just loud enough for us to hear; the jealousy that lined his words is as obvious as the sky was blue, as the grass was green, and as Wally and Artemis have unresolved sexual tension.

I couldn't blame him for being jealous. He doesn't know Kaldur like we do, and technically, Supes is new to the emotion thing. I mean, at that point, we all know he's got anger down. He's got an inferiority complex too. And that gross, cutesy love thing that has Clark pinned by Lois and Wally by Artemis. It had only been a matter of time before those feelings came together, made a baby and resulted in what is a jealous Kryptonian-Human hybrid.

"Nah, bro, you have nothing to worry about," Wally insists. "Kaldur's cool."

Conner mumbles an okay, but still looks pretty down, so I took it as my cue.

"Hey, Supes, speaking of girlfriends," I start, and I could see Wally waving his arms frantically at me in the corner of my eyes. "Kid Quick here just realized he's in love with Artemis."

"Dude, don't be such a dick!"

I roll my eyes.

"Knew it."

Wally drops his arms and stares at Conner, dumbfounded. "You knew? Who else knows?"

"Everyone but Artemis, I think."

"So uh…any advice?"

Conner and I stay silent for the better part of the conversation, and while I'm trying to figure out what to say to Bruce when I come home in about…oh, half an hour, and explain why I was hacking into his files and disobeying his commands, Conner is actually trying to come up with advice for Wally.

"…Teach her everything you know about the aquatic ecosystem so Kaldur doesn't have to."

Okay, so he needs to work on his advice giving too, but it's something. I suggest after he tried to teach Artemis something new, not specifically about the ocean, but it's obvious that the first thing they need to work on was the ability to not argue and be civil. Wally takes every suggestion in and for the next hour, we talk like we normally do.

It's cool how Conner is one of the guys now. We even call Roy to invite him over, but he was apparently at work and then he yelled at us because his boss yelled at him. But it's okay. That's how life is for us.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Until I realize that I was thirty minutes late and Bruce is expecting me back in Gotham. What I didn't know though, was that Bruce had set up that day for me to meet someone. Someone special.

He was on the phone with Zatara by the time I got home, but when I go into the dining room to see if Alfred had cooked up something special, I see her.

Dark hair, mischievous grin and all, curves that made my jaw drop when I'm too young to be noticing such things, and a look that could kill.

She is just standing there, studying the artwork that the Wayne's had up before I was even born, and I couldn't help but stare at her. She has really nice eyes…I think they're blue? No, green. I can't really tell from the lighting. She looks familiar too, like maybe I've seen her in one of Bruce's old files. I didn't even notice Bruce walking into the room.

"Dick, you're home," he says.

"Yeah sorry 'bout being late, B. I lost track of time."

He just smiles at me, and doesn't lecture me surprisingly, but considering there is a guest present, I anticipate that will happen after she leaves—great. Instead, he places a hand on my shoulder and faces the person in front of us.

"Actually, your timing's just perfect. I want you to meet someone."

I look straight at the stranger, and she turns to us, smiling slyly at the sight of me and that's when it hit me, where I had saw her before. I had met her a few times when I was younger, and she was also in the files along with Giovani Zatara that I hacked into earlier.

And suddenly, her name pops into my head before Bruce has a chance to even say it.

"Dick, I'd like you to meet…"

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Kids, there will be a time in your life when you'll meet someone, someone who will be an important part of your life. Someone so spectacular, you just know that no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try to keep it the way it is, for good or for bad, your life will never be the same again.

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"My girlfriend: Selina Kyle."

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What? This is a long story!

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A/N: Who thought I was going to introduce Zatanna? I really was going to do that, because she is a big part of Dick's life, but I decided, nah, not yet.

Now before I continue, I want to make things very clear. Just because I've written Nightwing&Batgirl fics in the past does not guarantee that he will end up with her in this story. In fact, it could be Zatanna. It could be Kori/Starfire. It could be Cassie/Raquel/Donna/Artemis/Raven/OC/etc.

I haven't decided.

What I will ask of you readers though, if you're planning on following this story, is to please not start Shipping Wars. Please, please, please. I know some of you are very fervent on Dick ending up with certain characters, I know some of you may hate other pairings, but do not spread your hate here. You're a mature teen/young adult/adult (and if you're not listed there, ie. you're a kid, this story will cover content that's not suitable for your age so I advise you to turn around). I'd really appreciate it if you appreciate however I end this story and whomever I decide to be the mother of his kids.

Thank you (and please review and let me know what you think!)