Elisa gave me the prompt, "give." I don't own NCIS.
"Tali gave me a gift. She gave me the terrible gift of revenge."
"What do you mean? I thought...I thought you said you were Mossad long before she was...killed by the suicide bombers."
"I did. I was a part of Mossad for a couple of years before she was killed. But, her death made me want to seek revenge. I wanted to kill each and every person that was responsible for her death."
"Weren't they already dead though?"
She glanced at him, glaring. He threw his hands in the air, almost like he was admitting defeat. "Don't suicide bombers usually die after they detonate the bombs? I thought that was what happened..." he quickly said, half joking.
She frowned. "Tony, I am being serious. Can you stop the jokes for one minute?" Ziva asked.
He studied her eyes, seeing the hurt shining behind the tears. Slowly, he nodded. "You're right. I'm sorry. I'll stop," he replied.
She cleared her throat and looked at him again. "She gave me this gift of revenge. It was not fair that she was killed at just sixteen. She had a whole life to live. Her hands were clean. There was no blood there," Ziva explained, looking down at her own hands as she spoke.
Tony also looked down at Ziva's hands once before looking back at her, patiently waiting. "I still don't understand, Ziva. Who did you want to kill?"
"The leaders. The ones that ordered the suicide bombers out there. I wanted to find the leaders and hurt all of them. They deserved it. They took an innocent life."
Ziva sighed and wiped her eyes, looking away from Tony. She glanced around the apartment, aimlessly staring past the couch and into the kitchen. Her eyes glazed over and she became lost in thought. Memories flashed back to her in an instant. Ziva felt herself holding the gun. She was staring into the leader's eyes, Tali's gift flashing through her brown eyes. She could remember his scent. She remembered the sounds of the four gunshots that she unloaded into his chest. She could remember it all.
"Ziva. Ziva," Tony said softly, whispering in her ear. He placed his hand on her arm and she blinked, snapping out if the memory.
Ziva glanced at his hand on her arm for a moment, and then looked into his hazel eyes. "They all deserved it..." she whispered, a tear rolling down her cheek.
Tony effortlessly wiped away the tear with the pad of his thumb and studied her. "Why are you telling me this, Ziva?"
After he wiped her tear away, Ziva wiped her eyes and looked down into her lap. "The past is the past. I am not the same person I was when she was killed. I have to move on. I cannot let this revenge be a part of me any longer," she replied.
"What does this do with me then?"
"This has everything to do with you, Tony. I cannot be like this any longer; I cannot have this revenge in me. If I keep this revenge canned up, then I might just snap and hurt our son. I cannot put his life in danger. What happens if I snap? What will we do?" Ziva rambled, her eyes moving from the kitchen to the baby monitor that was sitting on the coffee table. She then looked back at Tony, worry in her eyes.
He looked at her and smiled. He had to act strong for her. Tony reached for Ziva's hand and squeezed it gently. "Bottled up, Ziva. If you have the revenge bottled up," he said.
Then Tony kissed her lips gently and added, "I want to see you happy, Ziva. And if helping you move on past her death makes you happy, I will do anything," he replied.
Ziva smiled and then Tony kissed the top of her forehead. "We will move on together and start over from scratch. Just me, you, and Eli," he reassured.
Ziva smiled even more and moved closer to him. She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed, closing her eyes. "Thank you, Tony," she replied.
DiNozzo smiled to himself and held Ziva closer to him, kissing the top of her head again. "We can get through this, Ziva. I will help you move on."