What caught Sam's attention was the sound of someone crying. What kept his attention was the woman doing the crying.
Leah.
Bold, brassy, unshakeable Leah. The normally bitter, bronze woman was sitting on a rock so deep in the forest it took Sam an hour to get there running, and she was sobbing her heart out. She wept as though she had been storing up tears for years. "And maybe she has," he thoughtfully mused to himself. Only hell freezing over could make Leah cry. He watched her cry in silence, watched her wipe away her tears and take deep breaths. She rubbed her face and slumped on the small boulder. Sam shifted to make a run for it before she noticed him, but her head snapped towards him anyway.
"Just come out here and show yourself. Come watch the bitter harpy cry." Her tone was fire and ice. Frigid and scorching all at once. 'Bitter harpy', it's what they called her behind her back, it was always bitch to her face. He shifted back to human and pulled on his shorts. He stepped free of the bushes and Leah flinched. Apparently she wasn't expecting him, but maybe one of the other guys.
"What the fuck do you want Sam?" She spat the words out like they were acid on her tongue. He slowly walked over and when she didn't protest, sat beside her on the rock.
"Are you ever going to forgive me?" He fought to keep her nickname from escaping; she hated any memory of their intimacy. Leah snarled and shifted uncomfortably. She was tense, not so great for a conversation.
"There's nothing to forgive, imprinting is unavoidable." Her voice was mocking. He could taste her anger in the air; she was always brimming with a furious burn.
"Of course there's something to forgive Leah, I..." He stopped abruptly. It was never a good idea to mention her weakness or the breakup.
"You what? Broke my heart, Sam? Big fucking deal." She pushed it away so easily that he couldn't help but wonder what was truly irritating her. Heck, irritating was too light a word for the emotion that flashed through her brown eyes.
"If it's not that, then why Leah? Why are you so angry?" His voice rose and that unwaverable aura he put up was blasted away. Stoic Sam was gone. All that remained was the Sam Uley who grew up with Leah Clearwater, the boy who had no choice but to fall in love with the beautiful girl he called his best friend. He stared at her, passionate and honest and he was the old Sam again.
"Because I still love you!" She screamed. She leapt to her feet and began to rant, venting all the things that had held her down like bitter chains. "I still love you like I used too. I could forgive you for breaking up with me and marrying Emily. I could forgive you for building the house with her that was meant for me." She took a breath and paused. Then she stepped up to him until she was just a hair's breadth away. When she spoke next, it was a whisper. "But I cannot forgive you for giving me these looks that say I'm still the only girl you'll ever love. I just can't."
She left it up to him. The next moment was all up to him. Their future hinged on his response. He could deny everything and walk away, be the Sam who was married to Emily and dedicated to the pack or...
Or he could confess how every time he saw her, his heart lurched. He could tell her that sometimes he still dreamed about her, about the way she felt in his arms and how her lips felt pressed against his. He could tell her that he shielded so hard against the pack mind because he didn't want his thoughts of her to slip out. Because she was all he thought about. He could tell her how he could get drunk on her scent and how anything she said or thought to him, no matter how angry, made him feel glad because at least she thought about him. He could tell her that even though Emily was his wife and he had promised eternity to her, Leah was still the one he wanted by his side through sickness and health 'til death did they part.
But he stepped away instead, because the man he was today couldn't be the boy he was then. He couldn't hold her, kiss her, or comfort her because she wasn't his anymore. Emily was his, but more than that, he was Emily's. And Emily's man did not love Leah.
Leah stumbled backwards when he stepped away and he instinctively caught her. His arms wrapped around her body and she was pressed up against his chest. Her pink mouth was hanging open, surprised at her own clumsiness and his quick action. Then her eyes met his and he was lost. For just one more time he was lost in her eyes like he used to be, and he kissed her like he was a thirsty man and she was water. His lips worshipfully caressed her's, paying homage to the woman who had made him a man. The kiss was passion and longing, bitter and longsuffering, and it held everything he ever wanted. He slowly pulled back, but lingered in her embrace. Her brown eyes were close, the utmost look of concentration on her face.
"I want to remember this moment, because I know I may never get to kiss you again." Her voice was so low it was barely discernable above the light rustle of the wind. She pulled back after a moment and looked at him with such pity and Sam realized why. The tables had been turned.
Leah could wear her emotions like a cloak. She could be bitter about losing Sam all she wanted. She could curse and rage until her lips turned blue and she had no more foul words to spew, but Sam could never have that. He was the wolves' alpha, the stoic boss man who never flinched or hurt. He laid down the law and the pack moved in accordance to his words. He was ruthless at times and soft at others, but he could only stand tall. He could never falter or flinch, because the alpha is the strong one, the leader and guide. Alpha means the highest of rank, and Sam had obligations to the pack to never let them down. If somehow the pack realized he was still in love with Leah, everything would fall apart.
"I forgive you." She whispered. Her eyes, normally frozen with cold anger, were now soft and warm with that first love. She stepped back and it was like the pull of the tide.
Emily was gravity, holding him down to make sure he never floated off into the atmosphere. She pinned him down with her love that was like the smell of home and the feel of their marriage bed. But Leah, she was a distant star that shined so brightly, tugging him along in the constant spin of the universe. Centrifugal force tried to pull him to her, but Emily's gravity kept him down.
And for once since he imprinted on Emily, Sam wished with his whole heart that Leah could be his again.