Summary:Sean is in Wasaga with his parents and Ellie cant take it any more. Also what Degrassi student discovers Ellie's secret?

Author's Note: Please review!!! I am really proud of this story and it took me a really long time to get it perfect I really want to know what you guys think so please please REVIEW!!!!!

Disclaimer: I only own the plot nothing else.

ELLIE POV

I climbed into Jay's damn orange car with 16 speakers as my eyes burned. I couldn't take it. I, ellie Nash Was going to break at any second. This was all too much for me. Once Jay started the engine and put his foot on the pedal it would be official. Sean being gone I mean. When I moved in he promised me one thing and that was that he would never leave me. And what did he do? He left, just like everyone else.

Before I knew it we were on the road driving away from that lunchbox house with
Sean standing in the driveway. It didn't seem right, Sean should be sitting in the backseat with me cuddled up against him stealing kisses when Jay wasn't looking.

Jay reached over and turned on the radio. The familiar sound of Eminem filled my ears. This song I have heard so many times before, Toy Soldier. Also known as HIS favorite song. I turned it off not wanting any memories of Sean. Jay looked over and turned the radio back on glaring at him I turned it off.

On

Off

On

Off

On

Off. Huffing Jay turned back toward the road. I do need to deal with this bullshit right now. I thought looking out the window. Just a few more hours and I would be home. But was it really home without Sean? No, It wasn't and it never would be.

I heard sniffling behind me, turning around I noticed for the first time that Emma was sitting in the backseat blubbering like a big baby. I glared at her. She had no reason to be crying, she was not Sean's girlfriend. Okay so maybe he had saved her life but I should be the one crying. But… I'm not or at least not yet. I could not let those people see me in my weakest state.

The rest of the car ride passed in the same fashion. Jay staring at the road occasionally stealing glances at me or Emma who was still sniffling in the backseat. And me? I was hanging in and doing my best not to show and emotion.

Finally we pulled up in front of me and Se- no now my apartment. Hastily, I opened the door and pulled out my backpack. Running onto the apartment I finally let myself breakdown.

MARCO POV

" I still can't believe it." Paige said as she curled up against me on the couch.

" I know it's terrible poor Hazel and Jimmy." I said staring at the blank TV.

" People don't get shot at Degrassi it just doesn't happen." Paige said and she was right this just did not happen it was insane. No one knew Rick would blow up like this when her returned to school. I was still in shock from it all. Just then my phone rang cutting off my thoughts, picking it up I noticed Ellie's name. Another person I was worried about. I turned to Paige and showed her the name she nodded signaling for me to pick it up.

"Hello?" I said into the phone.

" Mar-Marco can you… can you please come over right… right now, I need you." Ellie whimpered as I jumped of the couch.

"Ya I'll be right there." I said before hanging up and turning back to the blonde haired girl sitting on my couch.

" Paige, can you give me a ride to Ellie's. She sounded really upset." Paige nodded and grabbed her keys.

The ride to Ellie and Sean's apartment was really quiet and awkward. Paige seemed to be driving 20 miles an hour and when we finally reached the building I breathed a sigh of relief and thanked Paige. Approaching the door I readied myself for what was on the other side. I knocked loudly 3 times before just walking in.

Slowly I pulled open the heavy wooden door and looked around.

" Ellie?" I called walking around the small kitchen I found broken picture frame in the middle of the hallway. The picture was of Sean and Ellie. They were holding hands and smiling at the camera it was sweet. I turned to find a half open door and found Ellie. She was sitting in a corner of her room hugging her knees to her chest with her shirtsleeve pulled down and something silver shining beside her. I ran up to Ellie and wrapped my arms around her tiny frame.

" Els what happened?" I asked rocking her back and forth. Ellie's voice came out forced and rough as she tried to blink back tears.

He's gone." She whispered, " He left." Ellie grabbed on to me and sobbed uncontrollably. I hated seeing her like this. It physically hurt my eyes to see her this upset.

That's when I saw it.

The silver caught the corner of my eye and I fingered it softly touching the sharp side. It was a razor why would Ellie need a razor? What could she possibly do with it? Only one thing came to my mind but ellie would never do that. I had to know for sure though. Gently I pushed down her sleeve further gasping. There were a good 20 cuts old and new that covered her arm. She looked up at me red and puffy.

" Why? When? Ellie how could you do this?" I asked her and for some reason I was mad. Mad that she did not come to me when things got to tough. Her eyes filled with tears again as she managed to stutter out

" I started last year." She said." Everything… it just seemed to all pile up and I couldn't take it. I had no way to get rid of the stress, Marco, I guess it was the only pain I could control." She said and I dared not question her more

Pushing her closer to me I let her sob on my shoulder all night long.