"Sassy housewives want to meet you!"

"They do?"

~Ralph Breaks the Internet

(AKA the crack ship that no one asked for but I wrote anyways XD)

0o0

It was a fairly slow afternoon at the Lucky Cat Cafe. Usually Saturdays were one of the busiest days at the restaurant, but with dark storm clouds gathering outside most people seemed to be hurrying home before the storm that that weatherman had promised that morning hit full force. A few people stopped by to grab warm drinks to fortify them against the weather, but it had been a good half an hour since anyone had walked through the door.

With everything already stocked to the fullest and all of the pastries that needed to and could be prepared in advance made, Aunt Cass found herself in the unusual position of actually being slightly bored during the workday. If Hiro and Tadashi had been home, it might not have been so bad-her two nephews always kept life interesting. But Tadashi was out on a date with his boyfriend, Fred, and to give her a chance to have a Saturday night to herself for once, they'd taken Hiro with them to go see the latest Marvel movie.

Cass appreciated the gesture-she truly did. She knew that her nephews worried about her and were trying to do something nice for her as "repayment for all of the things she did for them", as Tadashi had put it. The only problem was that, in spite of the spirit behind the gesture, the boys had forgotten one thing-that Aunt Cass didn't really have any friends to spend a Saturday night with. Once upon a time Cass had had a fairly close group of friends, back when she'd been fresh out of college and had her whole life ahead of her. But then everything changed when her brother and sister-in-law suddenly died in a car accident and her two nephews were left all alone in the world.

She didn't for one second regret her decision to take Hiro and Tadashi in, nor did she begrudge either of her beloved boys for sending her life down the path that it had gone. If anything, she had them to thank for helping her settle down and actually make good on her dream of starting a cafe so that she could have a stable enough income so Child Services would let her keep the boys (the fearful year that they'd been in the system while she'd been getting the restaurant up and running still haunted her some nights, but she had to remind herself to just be grateful to know that both her nephews were safe at home with her now.) And if her so-called friends had ditched her because they weren't willing to support her through that? Then they hadn't really been her friends after all and she was better off without them.

Since then, Cass had tried to make some new friends, but it wasn't easy to meet people when you were busy running your own restaurant and raising two boys at the same time. And as for dating, Cass had given up on that long ago. Not only did she hardly have the time for a relationship when any extra time that she had outside of work was devoted to being a surrogate mom to Hiro and Tadashi, most people she'd gone out on dates with quickly turned tail and ran when they found out that a relationship with her meant understanding that her boys came first.

Now that Hiro and Tadashi were older and could take care of themselves, maybe dating could be easier for her. But she didn't even know where to begin looking at this point, and resorting to online dating sounded entirely too desperate and depressing to her, so remaining single for the rest of her life seemed like a distinct possibility.

Maybe things weren't so bad. She knew that the only two men she ever needed were her adoring nephews who were always there to help her out when she needed them and doted on her like she was the Queen herself.

Still… Cass sighs as she absentmindedly wipes down the counter for the tenth time that afternoon. Her nephews were growing up and getting ready to head out into the world to start their own lives. Tadashi was almost twenty-one, for heaven's sake, and with the way things were going she didn't doubt it would be long before Fred finally popped the question and the two of them got a place of their own. And as for Hiro-well, seventeen was probably too young to be seriously thinking of moving out yet, but she didn't doubt it would be long before he was gone too. And as proud as she was of both of them and excited to see them growing up into the amazing men she'd always known they would be, possibly in a couple years she'd be completely alone here. And it would be nice to have some company on a rainy Saturday night other than her Japanese bobtail, Mochi, and a bottle of red wine...

Cass shakes herself. No, she wasn't going to dwell on that. She was never one to stew in self-pity, and she wasn't about to start now. A Saturday night to herself could be nice if she had the right mindset. As dead as things were and as the weather continued to worsen outside, she doubted that she'd be getting many more customers today, if any. Maybe if she hurried up and finished cleaning the cafe, she could close up early and go upstairs for a little self-pampering. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had a chance to soak in a tub full of bubbles. And there was an old timey monster movie marathon on tonight that she'd been thinking about catching. Maybe she could even order something in and give herself a break from cooking for the night!

This plan set in place in her mind, she set to work on cleaning with renewed vigor, determined to make the most of her evening. She was just attempting to move the coffee machine to clean behind it (usually she had Tadashi do it since it was so heavy, but she was determined that she could finish the job by herself) when suddenly the chimes over the door ring, signaling that she had customers. Part of her was disappointed that her evening plans had been put off now that she had made them, but as she looks up she sees that it was only two people-hopefully they wouldn't stay too long, and, besides, it was her own fault for not locking the door and putting on the "Closed" sign.

"Please, take a seat anywhere you like, I'll be with you in just a moment!" she tells her guests as she goes to grab menus for them.

One of them, a rather small teenage girl who was wearing a t-shirt that had the words "Sugar Rush" spelled out sparkly candy letters, immediately takes a seat at a table for two near the counter. The man she was with (her father, Cass guessed) doesn't automatically sit, however.

"Van, wait a second," he says to the girl before turning to Cass. "I'm sorry, Ma'am, it looks like we caught you just as you were closing up. If you're already closed, we completely understand. We'll go somewhere else, we don't want to inconvenience you!"

"Oh no, it's fine!" Cass reassures him, finding herself slightly impressed by his manners. She often had customers come in even after she had obviously closed for the night, demanding service just because she hadn't locked the door yet. And it had been quite some time since someone has called her "Ma'am" in a way that didn't make her feel like an old lady.

"Are you sure?" the man asks, not seeming fully convinced.

"Absolutely," Cass answers firmly. She wasn't about to turn away someone who was being so polite to her-her bubble bath could wait.

"All right-in that case, thank you." The man gives her a warm smile before sitting down across from the girl.

He almost looked a bit ridiculous in the tiny cafe chair-he was so tall and broadly built that he barely seemed to fit in it. But somehow Cass found it endearing. And no, she absolutely was not noticing how strong his arms looked as she gave him their menus.

"C'mon, Ralph, get picking already, I'm starving!" the girl says as she bounces in her seat. She seemed to have a lot of energy, not unlike Hiro. Actually, Cass observes with with a smile, she had a bit of a resemblance to her nephew, with her raven hair and oversized hoodie (although the girl's hair was much longer and her hoodie was mint green as opposed to blue.)

"Hold your horses, little missy," Ralph gently scolds her, although it was clear that he wasn't mad at her. "Give me two seconds to actually read this thing."

"Fine…" The girl crosses her arms over her chest and sighs dramatically, but a second later her smile was back as she leans her elbows on the table, looking up at Cass and announcing, "We're celebrating!"

"Oh? What's the occasion?" Cass asks.

"Vanellope, don't bother the nice lady, I'm sure she's very busy right now," Ralph says, giving Aunt Cass an apologetic look.

"No, it's fine!" Cass answers, grabbing a chair from another table and pulling it over to sit down next to them. "I love getting to know the people who come in here, especially ones I haven't met before!"

"See? It's fine!" Vanellope playfully sticks her tongue out at Ralph before turning back to Cass. "My team won the race today!"

"A race?" Cass asks, intrigued. "Are you on a track team?"

"No, not a foot race-a real race, with race cars!" Vanellope answers eagerly.

"Race cars?" Cass repeats, blinking in surprise-Vanellope didn't look old enough to be driving a regular car, let alone a race car!

"It's not exactly a race car," Ralph explains. "They're a lot smaller and less dangerous-more like go-karts. It's a high school program where teams at different schools get to build their own cars from kits and then race them at the big meet at the end of the year."

"And our team won!" Vanellope cries, punching the air with her fist.

"That's great!" Cass beams at her. "It sounds like something my boys would have done when the were in high school if they hadn't been on the robotics team."

"It's totally awesome," Vanellope agrees before adding, "And Ralph is the best coach ever!"

"You're a teacher?" Cass asks, glancing over at Ralph.

"No, I'm not-I'm not smart enough for that," Ralph answers modestly. "I'm a wrecker, professionally-I run a construction and demolition company with my friend, Felix. But Vanellope's loved racing for as long as I've known her, and when she wanted to join the racing team but the school couldn't find a supervisor because the old one was fired I decided I'd give coaching a try. I don't really do much except supervise to make sure that no one gets hurt, but I'm happy to help out in any way that I can."

"I know that feeling," Cass laughs. "Both my nephews go to SFIT for robotics engineering and I don't understand half the things things that they're saying most of the time. But I'm happy to see that they're happy, and I do everything that I can to support them."

"Exactly!" Ralph grins at her. "Anything we can do to help our kids, right?"

"Right," Cass agrees before venturing, "Does your wife or partner help out with the racing team too?"

"Oh, no," Ralph answers, his cheeks reddening slightly. "It's just me and Van. I never really found anyone who was interested in being with me as more than friends. But that didn't stop me from wanting to be a dad, so about five years ago I finally got up the courage to contact an agency, and I couldn't be happier."

"Ralph's the best dad in the whole world!" Vanellope declares, reaching across the table to punch Ralph's arm.

"And you're the best daughter in the world, you little troublemaker," Ralph answers, returning the gesture, although Cass noticed that he did it as gently as possible.

"That's incredible." Cass gives them both a warm smile. "I'm so happy it worked out so wonderfully for both of you!"

"Thanks." Ralph smiles back at her before asking, "If you don't mind my asking, what about you? You said you look after your nephews?"

"Mm," Cass agrees with a nod. "Hiro and Tadashi-my brother's boys. They lost their parents when Hiro was only three. I was the only family they had left in the world, but I was happy to take them in. They're such good boys-sure, they get into trouble sometimes, but they're so sweet to me, always helping out around the house and in the cafe. I couldn't have asked for two better kids, even if I'd gotten married and had ones of my own."

"That's amazing that you took care of both of them all on your own, especially when it all happened so suddenly!" Ralph says earnestly.

"I like to think I've learned as much from them about being a parent as they've learned from me," Cass answers with a soft laugh, very much enjoying this conversation. It was so nice getting to talk to someone who understood about being a single parent to an adopted kid (or kids.)

Vanellope, who was watching the conversation and starting to get bored, clears her throat to get Ralph's attention. "Um, Ralph? We're supposed to be ordering, remember?" she says.

"Oh, right!" Ralph agrees, looking slightly embarrassed as he glances down at the menu. "Um… I'm actually not sure what I want to order-it all sounds good" He looks back up at Cass. "What do you recommend?"

"Well, today's special is my hot wings, and I've only ever heard rave reviews about them," Cass replies. "Although I'll warn you, they're hot enough to make your face numb!"

"Then that's what I want!" Vanellope declares. "Bring on the heat-the spicier the better!"

"I've never really been a fan of spicy food," Ralph admits. "Maybe something a little more on the bland end of things?"

"Well, in that my tempura shrimp is usually pretty popular," Cass offers.

"I've never heard of that, but I'm happy to give it a try!" Ralph says, handing her back the menu.

"Great, I'll have those orders right out for you!" Cass accepts the menus. "Anything to drink while you wait?"

"Coffee for me," Ralph answers. "Van?"

"Do you make milkshakes?" Vanellope asks.

"I absolutely do!" Cass responds.

"In that case a strawberry milkshake, please!"

"Coming right up!" Cass smiles at them before heading behind the counter to start on the order.

It didn't take long to make the food and drinks as most of it was pre-prepared, and the time passed quickly with Vanellope and Ralph chatting away out in the cafe to provide cheerful background noise. Overhearing bits and pieces of their conversations, Cass was touched by the fact that Ralph clearly cared for his daughter as much as she cared for her boys, and it was a nice reminder that there were still good, decent people out there in the world (something it was sometimes hard to remember working in the foodservice industry and dealing with less than friendly patrons on an almost daily basis.) As impressed as Ralph had been that she'd taken in her nephews without any warning, she privately thought it was just as if not even more selfless to choose to raise and care for someone who wasn't even your own flesh and blood.

When the orders were finally ready, Ralph was extremely generous with his praise of the food, and the fact that Vanellope completely cleared her plate said more than any words could for Cass. She ended up joining them herself as they ate at Ralph's invitation-she had some extra wings leftover anyways, and it was nice having company while she ate instead of eating alone upstairs like she'd originally been planning on.

At the end of the meal, Ralph pulls out his wallet to pay, but Aunt Cass refuses.

"You two have given me some much needed company, so I consider that payment enough," she tells them with a smile.

"Are you sure? I'd feel awful not paying you," Ralph tells her.

"Yes, I'm absolutely sure!"

"There's got to be something I can do-you've been so welcoming and generous to us, I couldn't leave like this."

"Well…" Cass glances at the counter where the stubborn coffee machine was still sitting. "Is there any chance you could help me with moving something heavy?"

"Say no more!" Ralph answers with a grin, standing up. "Just show me what needs to be moved and I'll get it taken care of for you!"

Usually it would have taken at least Tadashi, if not both of them working together, to get the coffee machine moved sufficiently enough to clean behind it. But Ralph lifted it as if it was light as a feather, and Cass was actually able to not only clean behind but under it, scrubbing away years' worth of buildup that she hadn't been able to reach possibly since the machine had been installed. She kept asking Ralph if he was getting tired holding it but he always answered that he could barely even feel that he was holding it, and some small part of her brain was very much pleased to find that he was clearly as strong as he looked, if not stronger.

Finally, when the counter had been scrubbed to a shining polish, Ralph carefully replaces the coffee machine before turning to Cass and asking, "Is there anything else heavy that you need lifted while I'm here?"

"Not that I can think of at the moment," Cass answers with a smile. "But you're definitely the person I'll call if I need anything else heavy lifted!"

"I'd be happy to do it for you!" Ralph answers with a grin.

"Great!"

The two stand there smiling at each other, Cass desperately trying to think of anything else that she could say to try to draw this out a little longer before Ralph left, possibly for good-she had no idea if he'd ever actually come back here or not.

"Hey, Ralph, if she's going to call you for help with heavy stuff, shouldn't she have your phone number?" Vanellope says, and Cass may or may have not been imagining the mischievous glint in her eyes as she says it.

"Oh, yeah, of course!" Ralph starts fumbling with his pockets, finally producing a small business card. "Here, this has my work and cell number on it so you can reach me if you do need help with lifting anything else, or if you ever… Y-Y'know, want to have coffee or something sometime?"

"I'd like that very much," Cass answers, grinning as she carefully tucks the card into the pocket of her jeans.
"Well… G'-G'night," Ralph says, giving her a sheepish smile and waving as Vanellope starts tugging him towards the door.

"Good night to you too!" Cass has to stifle a giggle as she watches the two of them, waiting until they were out of sight before going to close and lock the door, turning on the "Closed" sign and going to finish cleaning up the Cafe before heading upstairs. It turned out that her Saturday night off actually hadn't been so bad after all. And maybe, if she was lucky, she wouldn't be having to worry about any more lonely Saturday nights any time in the near future.