I really don't have an excuse for this one. It's just one of those crazy bits of non-sense that pops into my head without a moments notice, and dances around in a loincloth until I agree to write it.
Ears
"Perhaps I should take you to Doctor McCoy for treatment," Spock offered as Jim attempted to walk, placing nearly all of his weight on his first officer.
"But I like bein' drunk," Jim slurred, then bit juvenilely at his tongue, finding it incredibly amusing. "Makes me feel pretty," he added a few moments later, enunciating each word carefully.
"I assure you Captain," Spock said. "You are far less attractive when you are intoxicated."
Jim looked up at Spock, the angle slightly odd, seeing that Spock was practically carrying him down the hall, and batted his eyes playfully. "Ya think I'm pretty?" he asked happily.
"No."
"Aw, don' lie Spock. You can tell me the truth, I won't tell. Ya think I'm pretty?"
"Negative Captain."
"Spooooock," Jim said, drawing the name out as long as his air supply would allow. "How many time do I haf ta tell ya, call me Jim. Jim. Jim. Jim. Jiiiiim." He continued to reapeat his name, over and over for a moment, temporarily forgetting Spock was there. "I said Jim so many time it sounds like a non-sense word."
"Much of what you speak is non-sense Captain," Spock said emotionlessly.
"Le's try your name. Spock. Spock always sounds like a non-sense name."
"I do not possess a non-sense name," Spock stated.
"Yea, ya do. Spock is defin'tly a non-se'se name." Kirk looked up at Spock and wiggled his nose. "Have I ever told ya that ya haf really pretty ears?" Jim asked, just before liking his left ear slowly.
Spock shook him away and looked rather discomforted. "I think it's best if you were brought to Doctor McCoy."
"Aww," Jim said with a frown. "But I don' wanna see Bones. I' much rather stay here wif you and you're pretty ears." He then proceeded to nibble at one of his ears. Spock was eternally grateful that most of the crew was on shore leave.
--
"What'd he do now?" Bones asked when Spock entered the infirmary, Jim clinging to his side, hardly conscious.
"He has ingested a rather large amount of alcohol."
"Of course he has," McCoy said boredly, as though this was nothing new. "Get on one of the beds." Spock did so, and a moment later, the doctor was at his side with a hypospray.
"Yer ears taste good Spock," Kirk mumbled sleepily as Bones injected him. A moment later, the captain was out like a light.
McCoy then turned to Spock and raised an eyebrow. "Why was he tasting you're ears?"
"I would rather not speak of it, Doctor," Spock said before leaving the infirmary.
Bones must have found the entire situation hilarious, because he walked away from the sleeping Captain, laughing to himself.
And now I'm off to bed. Let me know what you think. I love waking up to reviews.