Even though I survived through it, barely, I did not truly live. Nor did Eric. A world without Godric.
That day lives forever burned into my memory as he did the sun. I know Eric never forgot, even when he went to meet the sun himself, many years later. I was with him then too.
It's been many years since I first lost Godric and I still have not forgotten. It's one of fours times in my life I remember being the cause for the downward spiral of the mundane and supernatural worlds.
This was the start of the domino effect.
The first was meeting Bill Compton and choosing to try and "save" him from the Rattrays, going against my better judgement, and becoming embroiled in him.
Even after he turned my very body against me. From the beginning enslavement of my body and the manipulations of my emotions, I ceased to be who I was for a long time after that. That day I met him something important in me died. I wasn't Sookie anymore.
Gran noticed it I think. And that is why. . .
The second was losing Gran to the hands of Rene. Rene was a small part of the evil machinations of Bill Compton. Find the evil human killing his own sister and raping her dead body, Bill helped turn the eye away from Rene and put him in the path of Bon Temps.
But Gran, her body was old but her mind was sharp. Turns out. She was my blood grandfather's lifeline and if she had remained he would have returned eventually. And with him some of the light and life of the Fae Lands.
Sometimes I think Gran may have been ready for the Summer Lands to see her children and family again. Other times, I know she wasn't. She never did get to choose. It was made for her.
The day I finally met Niall Brigant, father of my father's true father, I had returned from Dallas and finally won against the maenad. I was going to burn the house down and start all over. At that time I believed everything was tainted.
Niall didn't appear to me with a pop of light and smiles. No. Never that. He came to me when my mind and body were tired and my soul was cracked from the loss of Godric.
At least he was honest with me about his intentions. The opposite of my aunt, who wished to trap me and use me as her breeding sow for her demented sons, but came to me under the guise of training my inherent powers.
Niall did wish to train my powers. Realizing that is where he went wrong with the children of his son, binding their powers. Even with their sparks and powers bound my father and aunt were still found by the Water Fae, and killed, they were just left ignorant and helpless.
No, he wanted me to fight. Me with my broken soul and tired mind. I never thought how my leaving would have affected Eric. I never realized how differently time passed in the Fae Lands. Not until I came back.
Two years on Earth and hundreds in the Lands. Eric waited and never gave up hope that I would come home. He bought my family's land and fixed our home. Eric kept searching for me, even when my own brother and friends gave up. Even when his searching brought me to the attentions of the man whom killed his family.
The same man who was searching for something special. Fae flesh. History found that if a vampire consumed our flesh and blood until the light of our spark died out they would once again feel the light of the sun on their skin once more. Men like William Compton and Russel Edgington would see the world burn at their feet if things didn't go their way.
When he had no other avenues to the Lands, Russel tried to drag the Fae out by embroiling myself into his web. Bill just helped. But it was not to be.
The third, and the beginning of the worst, was Godric. I used to think it was meeting him. A vampire, a man, so old and out of time he lost himself and his place. I was wrong. Those days with him and Eric, before he chose to meet the sun, were some of the most peaceful and loving days of my life. Watching the connection and love between Maker and Childe. Basking in their contentment even as they allowed me to join. It was. . . precious. To me. To Eric. And I hope, to Godric.
And the beginning of the end.
Three days later, something happened with Godric that led him to change his mind. He must have know that Eric would follow him if he choose to try and run again, myself not far behind.
He tried to sneak into the sun, thinking we wouldn't miss his presence. Of course Eric and I would. Eric reached him first. And I saw him last.
It broke something in him to do so. He ordered Eric from his side.
Godric held no power over me, except what I silently gave to him, so he could not order me from his side too.
We sat side by side, and I held onto his hand even as he burned. So pure was the fire with which he burned, much like the soul he denied ever having.
I don't know which left more visible scars, the tears down my cheeks or the burns on my left hand.
The final nail in the proverbial coffin was years later, when we lost the war and most of the supernatural world trying to save the mundane one. The years of war and loss and soul-aching exhaustion finally took their toll on my Norseman. We lost Pam and her mate to the sun a week beforehand. They were caught out too late. Neither Eric or I could reach them.
I wasn't enough to keep him tethered to the Earth. He was ready to see everyone again. To be honest so was I. But not quite yet. Something kept me waiting at that point.
So as I did with Godric, I sat with Eric and held his hand as he too met the sun. How bright and fiercely he burned, as he lived and loved. And left me behind with my right hand burnt. And my heart with a broken, solitary beat.
I had a matching set of hands for those who should have been by my side.
It wasn't until a few years after that, that I found the remains of one Russel Edgington and one William "Billith" Compton. These two of whom led the world to die at their feet and they turned on each other.
Bile rose in my throat as my dam broke all my negative feelings rolled out as I lost my voice crying to whoever was left to hear.
Everyone and everything lost for this.
It was too much. I picked up the last few bits of myself that were left, as unrecognizable as they were and trudged on.
Much of the world was desolate and struggled to recover. Scars too raw and wounds ran ragged, no one trusted each other or those of any different race. It was who you loved and fought and died with before the world collapsed that you stuck with until the end and trusted.
I was one of a couple thousand remaining that lost everything. And the one world was about to have one less.
My time is done. Those that remain behind, will someday see to the world brought to right. I just won't be here to see it.
I am tired. My hands throbbed as I felt them calling me. I could hear Lala and Gran, Jason and Tara. . . Godric. Eric.
I chose to fade and help those still behind, whether they trusted me or not, until I was gone.
I was ready.