Why Can't We Be Friends!
"What happens when the Head Master decides enough is enough and casts a spell that makes some of the students switch bodies with the unlikeliest of people."
Notes: Snape is still the potions master and Lupin is back teaching DADA. Fred and George Weasley are at Hogwarts for their 7th and final year, because lets face it. It's just not a Hogwarts without Fred and George.
I don't own Harry Potter or any of its character though I do own the idea along with LoLyric who is helping me write this story. Enjoy!
Harry, Ron, and Hermione's sixth year at Hogwarts began in the same old fashion. They all caught the Hogwarts Express, between platform 9 ¾ at eleven o'clock on September 1st and were soon greeted by the ever so wonderful (sarcasm implied) Slytherins. Within seconds of the train departing from the station the Griffindors and the Syltherins were at each others throats. Two months into the term and the story hadn't changed. The teachers were all sick of their never ending bickering and their constant practical jokes, mainly credited to Fred and George Weasley. The majority of their jokes were due mostly to the fact that they didn't want to be at Hogwarts but Mrs. Weasley wanted them to and since they didn't want to end up like Percy in her eyes, they put their jokes shop dream on hold.
Throughout the term multiple detentions were handed out and 100s of points taken away, from both houses and nothing changed. If anything the two houses became more adamant in making the others' lives miserable. The repeat offenders, being mainly Harry, Ron, Draco, Blaise, and Draco's two henchmen Crabbe and Goyle, were threatened with removal from their house quidditch teams, which only managed to subdue the fighting for only a matter of days until a new set of trouble makers were born. Then one day in December, a week before school let out for the holiday break, things went too far. And they went too far in Snape's Potions class. A few exploding cauldrons, some dirty threats, and a few punches later and the entire class, with the exception of a few, were forced to spend the rest of the day in the dungeons, cleaning up the mess they made, without magic, and writing lines until Dumbledore decided what to do with them.
"Dumbledore, they are reeking havoc on the entire school not to mention nearly destroying my classroom. I suggest we throw them out of school." Snape said with a coy grin on his face. The idea of seeing Dumbledore's precious Potter kicked out of school thrilled him to no end.
"Professor, that would be both extreme and unnecessary as I have thought of a better course of action," replied Dumbledore with a slight smile forming in the corner of his lips. He had finally come up with the perfect plan to stop the fighting, and with any luck, to also help unite the school, something that has needed to have been done since Voldemort started to rise to power again. Snape looked taken aback.
"And what might that be Head Master?" He asked, rather coolly. Dumbledore just gave a little laugh and looked Snape up and down.
"That, I can not tell you Severus. It would jeopardize the plan. All I can tell you is that it is time to send the students up to the Great Hall for a snack, seeing as they missed dinner, and sending them to bed." Snape opened his mouth to say something then thought better of it and walked out of the Head Master's office and down to the dungeons to release the students from detention.
By the time that Snape reached the dark dungeons of Hogwarts, he realized by the loud shrieks and explosions that he was too late. Picking his long robes up as if they were skirts, Snape sprinted the rest of the way to his class room, nearly running face first into the door that was actually off its hinges from a recent explosion from one of the student's wands. Now, at first, Snape didn't know what to focus on, the entire room full of actions and small but bright spells, but when he finally saw through the smoke, his mouth fell open.
Hermione, the one student he would have thought would have the slight common sense not to reduce to violence was straddling Draco, her small dainty hands curled in his silvery blond locks as she viciously slammed his head against the floor in an attempt to make him stop repeating the phrase "Mudblood.". Obviously she wasn't using all of her strength because between each head slam, Draco was smirking and coughing up the dreaded word only to have his head once again smacked against the stone floor.
"Take it back!" Hermione screamed, delicate face flushed red with rage.
"I'd rather sleep with a muggle!" Draco spat, blood actually flying from his mouth. "Now get off me, MUDBLOOD." He added with a cold smile. Snape blanched white as Granger pulled back her fist and swiftly delivered a punch to Draco's usually pale face. There was a sickening cracking sound and Snape moved in, only to be blocked by Pansy Parkinson who not only was in hysterics, but smacking Weasley repeatedly with a book, telling him to stop attacking her. Ron, who looked ready to either vomit or pass out, was pleading with her to simply let him pass, but each sentence was interrupted with another smack to the face with her potions book and a high pitch scream.
"Stay away from me, Weasel!" She shouted, pounding him on the head with the thick book. As he passed, Snape grabbed the book from her hands and moved onto the next dueling pair, which happened to be Harry and Blaise. Though nothing was really happening, from what Snape could see. Harry was standing, a clump of human hair in his hand and wand in the other. Blaise was staring blankly forward, mouth open in a silent scream. 'Oh great, Potter went and gave the Zambini boy a full body bind' Snape though, snatching Harry's wand away from him and glaring at the dark hair youth.
Harry looked up, looking guilty as he handed Snape the clump of hair that was in his other hand. "He was attacking Neville." He said simply, as if it was the most common thing in the world. Sighing, the Potions Professor looked for the rounded and much meeker member of the Gryffindor clan. In his attempt to find Neville, his eyes swept over Crabbe and Goyle who were in a rather nasty brawl with Dean and Seamus. Seamus had naturally caused the near by cauldron to explode, causing its contents to explode over Goyle who appeared to be growing a tail and rather long ears. The large boy was sobbing uncontrollably as his hands turned to hooves and to make the matter worse, Seamus was laughing so hard, he had fallen backwards over a near by desk as was still laughing.
"Finnigan, control yourself!" Snape hissed, moving toward Dean and Crabbe who were rolling around on the ground, Dean whacking the over size boy repeatedly over the head with his wand instead of attempting to use it. Snape felt a soft tugging on his sleeve and gazed downward at Harry.
"He can't, sir. Dean sent a Tickling charm at Crabbe, but it hit Seamus instead." He said softly, ducking as Ron ran by and a book followed, flying over Harry's head and into Snape. Ron grabbed a hold of Snape, attempting to shield himself with the Professor's body as Pansy stalked after him, a small iron cauldron in her hand.
"She's crazy!" He whispered, his fingers digging into Snape's arms.
"You better run, you scrawny, red headed, pathetic, muggle lover!" She screamed, looking ready to throw the cauldron.
"All of you stop!" Snape nearly screamed, his yell resembling that of an old frightened woman. Everyone froze, which meant the Dungeons had gone absolutely silent. Well, except for Draco whispering mudblood under his breath and Seamus's high pitch giggles. Snape gazed around, not really sure who to deduct points from, who to punish and who to help first. (Not that he would help if he could). "Alright...first thing you are going to tell me is...where is Longbottom?" He demanded, attempting to pry Ron's skinny fingers off his arms while the red head continued to attempt to dodge Pansy who continued to follow him.
For a long moment, no one answered and Snape feared the worse. All of the students had gone silent (Of course, except Seamus who now looked ready to cry from his lack of ability to stop laughing), all of them looking guilty. Snape's eye wandered over his even more destroyed classroom, hoping to see some sign of the small, plump Gryffindor.
"You're looking in the wrong area, Professor." Harry said in the same soft tone, pointing up. Sighing, the teacher followed the direction Harry was pointing and he let out a groan. There, hanging from the ceiling beams, was Neville Longbottom. He was clutching at the beams for dear life, his eyes wide and face pale.
"Alright...moving on from the topic of Longbottom getting himself attached to the ceiling...what started this?" He said, gesturing with his wand and forcing the boy to float safely to the ground. He looked around at all of the young faces, watching them check on each other. Draco was muttering something about his perfect nose and Hermione was simply retorting that it looked better with blood spewing out of it. Coughing rather loudly, he watched as they all turned to him, all looking extremely guilty, even Seamus who was still laughing, though Snape was suspecting that Goyle's look of guilt was most likely a look of remorse over his new tail, ears, and hooves.
"Well..." Ron said, seeing now that it was safe for him to move out of the protection of Snape's rather expansive robes. "First..."
"Granger started it!" Draco snapped, tilting his head back to stop the bleeding from his swollen nose. Harry snickered but stopped when Snape shot him a death glare.
"I did not! You pulled my hair!" She almost cried, looking pretty upset.
"You have so much sodding hair, how could you notice if any of it was missing!" He yelled back, now using his sleeve to stop the bleeding.
In the end, the only reason Snape could get out of them was the simple fact that he had left the room. He took all of their wands, except for Draco's, seeing as how his was shockingly embedded in the wall. After he was sure he was safe from the little lunatics known as students, he sent them on their way to the great hall, more concerned with his safety then the deduction of points. After the students (and he used this term loosely as he now thought of them more along the lines of the bane of his existence) left his dungeon Snape got the complete and uninterrupted view of what was left of his potions classroom. I'm defiantly going to kill them if they so much as spill another potion in front of me. Snape thought to himself as he decided how best to go about cleaning up their mess.
The battle worn students trudged up to the Great Hall expecting to receive a platter of disappointed looks from the Head Master with a side of expulsions for everyone. They were uncharacteristically silent as the made the long walk from the dungeons. The silence was broken when Draco bumped into Hermione as he raised his head in attempt to stop the continuous bleeding. "Maybe you should watch were you are going, Mudblood."
"I told you not to call me that." Hermione yelled as she attempted to go round two with Draco but Harry, noticing this held her back. Draco laughed at this and saw it as his chance to continue to torment her without the brutal beating he received earlier.
"What's wrong, Granger. Need Potty to fight your battles for you?" He mocked then started to laugh again only to have a sharp pain run through his nose. "Oww, damn. I will get you back you stupid bitch."
"I'd like you see you try you pathetic excuse for a pe…" But just then Hermione was cut off by Dumbledore walking out of the Great Hall. He simply looked at the ragged students told them to eat and left for his office.
"Well, that was weird," Ron stated as he felt his stomach rumble just now feeling the effects of an entire day without food.
"Yeah, he even looked like he was smiling," Neville added trying to straighten his robes.
They all walked into the Great Hall to see one table set up with crackers and an assortment of cheese. There were also a couple apples, some turkey sandwiches and eleven glasses of pumpkin juice. Just then realization struck Draco, "I am not eating at the same table as a filthy, mud..." But he was cut short when he felt a solid fist make contact with his already pounding head. He grabbed his head before falling to the ground, he turn around to see Harry standing over with a gleeful look in his eyes.
"If you call Hermione anything other than Hermione or Granger I will hit you so hard you'll wake up in the infirmary a week later." Harry threatened as he walked over to the table to get some food before heading to bed.
Slowly, one by one they all sat around the table eating in silence. All of them suddenly realizing how hungry they were, not even their hatred of the person sitting across from them could stop them from eating. Hermione looked across the table from her and inwardly laughed at the sight in front of her. Draco had shoved pieces of his napkin up his nose to keep him from bleeding all over his food. Just then the Great Hall doors burst open and Fred, George, and Ginny ran in worry and anger on the face when they spotted Ron and Harry. "Oh great, just what we need, the whole Weasel clan," Pansy said as she took a sip of her drink. Ron looked across the table at her with a look of utter distain on his face. Ginny came and sat down across from Harry in the only free chair right next to Pansy.
Ignoring Pansy's comment completely she started in on the bickering Harry was getting all too use to from her. "Where were you Harry, we had quidditch practice, or don't you remember, you're the captain. You'd better have a good excuse for why you went at your own practice." She stated anger evident in her eyes.
"What did you guys do anyway, and why does ferret face have napkin up his nose?" Fred question with laughter in his voice looking over at George. But before anyone could answer the clock struck 10 which startled the students and they all looked up from their plates. They all felt as though something passed over the entire room, they could tell from face of their enemy counterpart across the table and then a wave of exhaustion hit them all at the same time.
"I think possibly, we should head to be..be…ed…bed." Ginny said trying to stifle a yawn.
Hopefully we will have the nest chapter up within a decent amount of time. Reviews are welcome as it is always nice to hear what other people think, good or bad. Thanks.