Title: Meaningless

Author: B0gw0ppit

Rating: M

Summary: Wendy couldn't believe she had been so stupid. Had it really all been meaningless? Wedges

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my dreams, my dog and my VW camper

Spoilers: A couple of small season 8 spoilers, but nothing plot-ruining at all.

Author's Note: Just to warn you, this isn't your usual Wedges fluff. It does get quite angsty so if you like the cuddly bunny fics about this pair, or if you are offended by talk about abortion don't read. For the purpose of this fic Jacqui is still working in the crime lab, and has kids. Not sure if she really does because I haven't seen every single episode, but she does here.

Inspired by the awesome Magnetic Fields song 'Meaningless'

Meaningless?
You mean it's all been meaningless?
Every whisper and caress?
Yes yes yes it was totally meaningless

Even less
A little glimpse of nothingness
Sucking meaning from the rest of this mess
Yes yes yes it was thoroughly meaningless

----------------------------------------

Oh no. No no no no...

Wendy stared at the thin blue line wavering before her eyes unbelieving, a wave of panic welling up inside and threatening to drown her. Drowned in her own bathroom by an invisible wave... now wouldn't that be a way to go... The young woman couldn't even crack a smile at that thought though, so shocked was she at the outcome of the pregnancy test. When the hell had she gotten so unlucky? One time, just one time and this had to happen, and with... him too. What the hell had she done to deserve this?

Who could she tell? She had to talk to someone, had to let out all this pent up fear that was choking her. She frantically looked around, not knowing what to do next, and jumped a mile when her cell rang.

Jacqui...

Yes. Jacqui. The older woman had always been something of a surrogate mother to Wendy, her own parents being way up in New England where her father worked. Jacqui would understand, and more importantly, wouldn't laugh... would she? Oh, who was she kidding? Who wouldn't laugh when they heard who the father of this unwanted new life was? Heck if it wasn't so damned terrifying she would laugh herself!

"Hi Jacq," she spoke brightly into the tiny phone, pleased that she sounded so normal.

"What's wrong?" came the sharp reply, and Wendy knew she was busted. That woman had the intuition of a psychic.

"Oh God Jacqui can you come over?" she begged, knowing there was no point trying to hide it. "I've done something really stupid."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Ten minutes later her intercom buzzed, and Wendy looked up, surprised, from the nervous tidying she was doing. Jacqui must have flown to get here that fast.

"Ok, spill!" the older woman demanded the minute she walked through the door.

She dumped her bag and car keys on the glass topped table, and perched herself up on one of the two bar stools that graced the small but neat kitchen.

Wendy looked at her, eyes red-rimmed from the tears she hadn't been able to stop herself from shedding. Her life was ruined. She couldn't bring up a kid, she didn't have the first clue about kids. Her friend watched her steadily, head tilted to one side, then she held out her arms. Wendy gave her a small, watery smile of gratitude and went to her, hugging tightly as though her life depended on it.

"A man?" Jacqui asked softly, her voice full of concern.

Wendy nodded silently against her shoulder, sniffing.

"I've been so stupid," she repeated her words of earlier on the phone, unable to get any further into an explanation. What did she say? How did she begin?

"How stupid?" the older woman asked hesitantly, stiffening a little as she brought Wendy away from her, holding her by the shoulders to look knowingly into her eyes.

Wendy sniffed again, and gulped, looking away at the floor. She shrugged, then took a deep breath, pulling out of the other woman's gentle grasp to lean against the other stool.

"I'm pregnant," she mumbled, still unable to look Jacqui in the eye as fresh tears began to leak unasked for from the corners of her brown eyes.

"Uhuh," came the reply, and Wendy's eyes shot up to catch the knowing look in the wise gaze of her friend.

"You knew?" she asked incredulously, mouth hanging open in shock. "How?"

Jacqui smiled, and shrugged.

"I have kids sweetie, a mother knows these things." She reached over to squeeze the young woman's knee in a comforting gesture, and passed her a Kleenex. "I take it from your red eyes this isn't exactly welcome news?"

Wendy shook her head, fiddling with the Kleenex, tearing it up into tiny shreds with shaking hands.

"Can I ask who the father is?" Jacqui continued softly, tipping her head further to try to catch Wendy's gaze as the young woman looked studiously at the black and white checkered linoleum.

Wendy refused to look her in the eye, and Jacqui began to worry. She had just reached the conclusion that the poor girl must have been raped by some thug and hadn't dared to report it when Wendy spoke up, although Jacqui could hardly catch what she said. The young woman whispered her reply quickly before she could lose her nerve, because Jacqui would get it out of her eventually anyway, so she might as well tell her straight away and get it over with.

To her surprise and annoyance Jacqui blew out a short breathy laugh. She shot her an angry frown.

"Sorry honey," Jacqui placated her. "But for a minute there you'll never guess who I thought you said."

Wendy raised her head and looked her square in the eye.

"David Hodges?" she asked, her voice stronger now.

Jacqui laughed.

"Yeah..." she began, then stopped mid-chuckle, her face dropping as she saw the look on the girl's face. "Oh. My. God. No way..."

Wendy looked at her steadily, defying her to laugh again, until Jacqui knew she had to be telling the truth. After all, who would joke about a thing like that?

"But... how? When?" she stuttered eventually, looking at Wendy as though she was mad.

And maybe that was what she did think, after all, Wendy would have thought the same if anyone told her they'd slept with the nerdy trace tech.

"The Christmas party," she admitted, shrugging and looking away again before looking back quickly. "It was only once, and I was drunk. We both were..."

"Oh my God, I remember!" Jacqui cried, slapping her hand to her mouth as she stared at Wendy wide-eyed. "You two both disappeared round about the same time now I come to think of it. You were gone for, like, an hour or more..."

She stopped, fixing her friend with an incredulous look.

"Hodges can last that long?"

Wendy narrowed her eyes and gave her a withering glare. Jacqui held up her hands.

"Ok ok, I get it, serious. Right."

She took a deep breath in to compose herself, still unable to believe it. Sure, Hodges had always had a thing for Wendy but... She gave a little grimace and shuddered at the thought.

"So, what happened?" she asked, unable to stop the eternal thirst for knowledge even in light of her friend's anguish.