Author's Note: Ah, I haven't written or updated my fanfics for such a long time. Sorry guys. And I sincerely apologize for my readers for the fanfic Things that Just Don't Change; I deleted it. If I had continued to write that story it would have disappointed you all even more than if I deleted it. But, from its deletion, a new fanfic is born! So I hope that this fanfic kind of makes up for the other one... Enjoy!

I'm not sure if it's alright for this to be rated T but please let me know if it's not.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice. The Great Higuchi Tachibana does.

Text - Normal POV (or Mikan's POV)

Text – (Inner) Thoughts or Flashbacks (or for emphasis)

Text - Author's Note(s), titles, (or for emphasis)

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Chapter One: At Fourteen

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I pondered over what has happened these past four years. Everything seemed to happen so fast. I try to remember what has happened but I can't seem to see my memories clearly; most of them are but a blur to me. When I try to remember, it seems as if those memories were never real to begin with. The laughter and warmth, the times of just fun and games— times of the ten year old me with everyone else. Sometimes I doubt that those memories are real, since the present is nothing like those days. I, Sakura Mikan, am fourteen years of age, in Gakuen Alice's Middle School Division.

The first to leave me was Tsubasa-senpai. He had gotten transferred to the Dangerous Ability Class because of me and he was nowhere to be found when they went on a mission.

The next to leave was Hotaru.

She left to a foreign country because of her great Alice, and she said she would only be away for a year or two but it's been three years, and she's still not back. Not even a single message from her. This was when we were eleven.

Next was Natsume-kun.

He was sent out to a mission as punishment for helping me to try to escape from the academy before, when the Primary Division School's Principal had put me in the Dangerous Ability Class because of my Stealing Alice. Ruka-pyon fortunately stayed at this academy, but his punishment for also helping me try to escape was no better than anyone else's punishment.

Narumi-sensei had been cursed twice by Persona's Alice, and the academy is keeping him under great surveillance since they don't trust him anymore. Not after this incident. Persona's Alice had made him suffer painfully and slowly. But he's "okay" now, I guess. I tried to make the pain easier to bear with for him by constantly taking away some of it from his body. Tsubasa-senpai was found and rescued by the original Dangerous Ability Class. I became a bit relieved knowing that he was safe again. But I despise myself.

Everything is all my fault. It's my fault that Tsubasa-senpai is in the Dangerous Ability Class. That everyone was punished for a failed attempt to try save me from the academy and help me try to escape. That they're all miserable as hell right now. I screwed up everyone's lives.

Of course, I'm now a member of the Dangerous Ability Class as well, as the Primary Division's Principal had wanted in the first place. I'm his "favorite" as he promised the first time I found out that I was to be a Dangerous Ability student. I can do nothing to help everyone but do as the principal says so that my loved ones don't suffer any longer. Especially Narumi-sensei.

Yes, I loved Natsume before. At least, I'm pretty sure that it was love. But as both time passed and the distance between us grew, our relationship couldn't last. My feelings for him have been sealed away in the depths of my heart. I pray that when the day that he returns comes, that he'll feel the same way; so that I don't hurt him any more than I already have.

I feel like a bigger idiot than I ever was for following the same path that my mother took. At least, part of it anyway.

Smiling.

Crying.

Hoping.

Rebelling.

And falling in love with a teacher. Forbidden love. I hate myself even more because although I love Naru-sensei, I must treat him as though I don't have mutual feelings for him. I can't show him how I truly feel for him because the principal has also taken a personal liking to me. The more the principal saw me, the more fond he grew of me; and he's done certain things to me; and I don't want to taint Narumi-sensei with my impurity, my filthiness. I don't want to make him hurt any longer.

About half a year ago . . .

I walked toward the principal's office because he called for me...

I knocked on the large doors of his office. "Sakura Mikan, sir," I announced, letting my identity be known.

"Enter," I heard him say.

As I shut the doors and turned around, he was there, with a sly, amused grin plastered on his face. "Mikan," he paused and inched his face close to mine, "I've taken a certain liking to you; different from what I meant before," he smirked.

Instantly, I felt his cold lips crushing against mine. I stared blankly and did not resist, for I knew that there was no use in resisting. How I wanted to slap him right then and there. But I couldn't.

It was from that day that I've been meeting him more often for "special appointments."

"...kura." I thought I heard something but I ignored it. "Sakura!!" the teacher rose his voice at me. What a dumb ass. He should just shut up. "Pay attention or I'll report how you've been behaving to the Primary Division principal," he threatened. Wrong move, sensei.

I sent him one of my death glares.

I was seriously pissed; this damn idiot has no fucking idea what is really going on in this academy, let alone what's happening between me and the principal. I used the Levitating Alice that I partially stole from someone and his body flew across the room. I could feel everyone's eyes on me. But I didn't give a damn. I just walked out of the room. I wasn't going to stay in there with that idiotic sensei. It's only around ten-something AM so I have plenty of time to waste cutting classes today.

Man, I think I'm like a Natsume-number-two or a Natsume-substitute or something to people. I'm as cold as the Arctic Winds. I keep mostly to myself. I have a powerful Alice. I'm seen as a threat, a monster of some sort. Yeah, I bet that's what they think. Maybe I should steal someone's Mind Reading Alice to make sure... Hm...

Did I mention that I'm a special-star now? Heh, I wonder if I'm a special-star because I earned it or if it's because of the principal's "privileges." Also, I've actually grown breasts and I'm a size 34C. I'm just saying because when I ate the Gulliver candy* before, I was flat. Natsume even made fun of me for having no breasts even though my body was for a teenager when I ate the candy.

I'm pretty much alright at using my Stealing Alice and I've become pretty good at using my Nullification Alice. The principal's body isn't the body of a child now; he has the body of a teenager, probably around my age. I used my Stealing Alice to take some unknown thing from his body that my mom put into him and his body suddenly became like a teenager's body instead of a child's body.

A memorable thought that I have of this academy is when Koizumi Luna was tossed aside just like that because I had stolen her Alice. Now that was a sight; thinking about it always makes me grin.

I sighed and let my feet take me wherever they led me and occupied myself with several thoughts . . .

Nobara-chan is one of my closest friends here in the academy. Other than that I still have some old friends like Tsubasa-senpai, Ruka, and some new "friends;" and some of those new "friends" were from the Dangerous Ability Class.

"Mmm! Principal, please stop..." I whispered meekly as I felt fresh tears burst out as I felt the searing pain of having sex the first time.

Much to my dismay, I was ignored and he continued. I bit my lip to stop myself from saying anything or making any... "unwanted or unnecessary" noises.

I laid on top of his office table trying my best to keep myself sane.

The thought of being tainted like this made me feel a sharp pang in my chest as the image of Narumi-sensei suddenly appeared in my head.

I felt the principal using more force and . . .

"Aaaah!" I couldn't help but let it out. I feel so disgusting. Gomen, Naru-sensei... I felt more tears pour out and trickle down my face. Narumi-sensei's bright smiling face was all I could think of, that amazing face turning into a face of pain and horror if he had witnessed this scene right now.

Next thing I knew, the principal had gotten his clothes back on and whispered seductively in my ear: "Mikan, next time, try to scream my name. It's Kuonji**."

He nibble my ear afterward.

I heard him chuckle just before he left the room; just before he left me just lying there.

I felt myself bump into someone and I fell onto the ground on my ass. Thank God I bumped into this person; if not, I'd probably still be stuck in that horrid memory. "Gomen," I apologized.

"Mikan?" his masculine voice came.

I opened my eyes immediately; I could recognize that voice any time, anywhere.

"N-Narumi-sensei?!" I blurted out in shock. He walked toward me and helped me up.

"I-I don't need your help. I c-can get up on my own," I stuttered. God! Why did I have to stutter now, in front of Narumi-sensei?! I'm supposed to be cold toward him, for his own sake... Come on Mikan, I know you can do it.

. . . But I want to touch him so bad . . . I haven't seen him in what seems like ages and I want to say something to him; have a decent conversation with him...

He smiled at me despite my rude reply to him helping me get up. "Mikan-chan, what a surprise seeing you here. How did you end up here anyway?"

I looked around at my surroundings. Ack, I ended up in the elementary division's school. How the hell did I end up here? I should pay more attention to where I'm going and stop letting my feet take me wherever.

"Cutting classes, eh, Mikan-chan?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

I glared at him. I think I even pouted by accident, out of old habit.

I don't like it when he uses the honorific "chan" with my name. It makes me think that he sees me as a child or just a girl. Why can't he just drop the "chan" and call me by my first name?? "Don't call me that," I snapped at him.

"Uhm, alright. Sakura-san then?" he smiled again.

I looked at his face and my eyes caught his.

Sorrow.

I relaxed my face more and tried to put a poker face on, but I think my facial expression is sad right now. By just looking at those expressive purple eyes of his, I can see the pain he's feeling right now.

. . . Is it because of me?

"Sakura-san? What's wrong?" he frowned as well. Probably because of the frown on my face.

I shook my head and said softly, "Iie, it's Mikan, Naru-sensei."

"A-Ah... Okay... Um, Mikan," he said sheepishly and looked away. I think I saw him blushing a bit. Oh yeah, I remember . . .

I've been treating him coldly. I told him not to call me "Mikan." I've been doing these things in order for him to protect him so that he wouldn't have to suffer any more than I've made him. But it seems like I've been hurting him more than I expected . . . Sensei . . .

"Well, it was nice seeing you again," he paused, and looked away. "...Mikan. I'll be going now," he said rather swiftly and turned to leave.

Ouch. It's like he doesn't even want to talk to me any more.

Don't leave sensei…

I faced his back— the back that I had hid behind before for protection, countless times. Don't go... Don't leave me…

I don't want him to go…

Stay with me…

I raised my hand towards his back . . .

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*Gulliver candy – changes your actual age. Mentioned in the manga. Banned from GA because of its side effect(s).

** I have no idea what the Principal's last name is. I don't even know if Kuonji is his first name or last name, but here I'm using it as his first name. If anyone knows his full name, please let me know.

Author's Note: Soooo, how was it? Hope you guys liked it. Also, to those NatsuMikan fans out there, I can't guarantee that this will be a NatsuMikan fanfic. In fact, she's probably not going to end up with him. Nonetheless, I hope you guys enjoy this story once it's finished. Anyway, don't forget to REViEW!

Flames are gladly accepted. :)