I made the biggest change in my life since moving to Forks. I broke up with Edward.
After returning from Volterra things had changed a lot. I went there to save him, but somehow realized, I wasn't in love with him anymore. I guess, I had some sort of obsession about not letting go. Now that I had him back, I didn't want it. Somehow during the time after he left me in the woods, I had grown up but he was frozen in time, forever as seventeen. One thing I didn't understand tho, he was 17 but acted like an old man and explained it with his actual age that was over a hundred years. Some of their family members were older, I mean, Charlisle and Jasper were older, but they had somehow managed to adapt. He never did.
I wasn't enough ladylike for him and he did his best to change me. He controlled me even more, he refused my attempts to seduce him even more, he even didn't kiss me on my lips. I just couldn't take it anymore and told him that I had got tired of all this bullshit and sexual frustation. He blamed me for being too interested in carnal pleasures and somehow considered me too filthy for him now. So we split up with a huge fight and he left to Alaska to live with the Denali clan. Alice was beyond pissed but I really didn't care anymore.
I wasn't sure about his feelings but somehow I was different now. Instead of thinking about others I begun thinking aobut myself. I needed to be free from him.
Well, that sums it up – I wanted to be free from his reign, I wanted to be myself again. I wanted to breathe.