In Dreams
By LastCetra
Chapter 1
Cloud was running. He was in a beautiful meadow, filled with spring flowers and fresh green grass. He had never felt so happy. His whole surroundings had never been touched with sadness. Everything here was perfect, pure, even innocent. The flowers bent forward in a gentle breeze that seemed to whisper his name.
"Cloud…"
Amidst all this nature stood a solitary figure up ahead of him, laughing. The laugh wasn't a harsh one, it was both quiet and gentle. The figure, a woman, had her hands thrown outwards, as if she was inviting everyone to share in her happiness. Her light brown hair was unbound, streaming behind her in the breeze. Like Cloud it looked as if she didn't have a care in the world.
"Aeris!" he cried happily, his run turning into a sprint as soon as he recognised her.
"Cloud, get your lazy ass over here! I've been waiting for ages. You are so slow!"
Cloud stopped in his tracks and looked at her, his head cocked to the side.
"Excuse me, but I am not lazy. As I can clearly remember, it was you who had a tough time keeping up with me in Midgar remember?"
"Yeah, yeah," she answered, brushing his comment off. She folded her arms defiantly. "Then how is it that I am here before you? It shows that I'm faster at least. Well you'd better hurry up cause I'm not coming to get you. This is the best part of the meadow. It's so beautiful here, the flowers remind me of the ones I grew in Midgar." She looked over at Cloud. "Will you stop standing there? Come on!"
With a huge grin on his face Cloud set off once more. Aeris held her hand out to him. She called to him again, her voice being carried by the wind.
"Cloud."
It wasn't the wind that was whispering his name. It was Aeris. Cloud ran faster, his feet going so fast one couldn't be sure weather they touched the ground or not. He even extended his hand so he could be with her that second earlier.
Without warning a massive split in the ground opened underneath him, making him fall backwards. He felt lucky that he did fall backwards, otherwise he would have had to face a long drop down. The rift was so deep he couldn't even see the bottom. Nothing except an inky blackness. He looked left and right. It looked as if there was no way around it either; the crack stretched for miles and miles in both directions.
He glanced at Aeris. She looked back at him, a smile still on her face. She looked so beautiful. She was wearing a pure white, sleeveless dress that fell to just above her knees. It was perfect on her, and gave her a new sense of depth that he had never seen in her before. A light shimmered all around her, a total contrast to the dark that separated them. Her hands were clasped tightly in prayer and the smile on her face was what brightness to the whole meadow. She was the source of all his daylight. To Cloud, Aeris was the sun.
"Think I could jump across?" he asked. Aeris laughed.
"It's okay Cloud," she said, her voice sounding very melodic for some reason. "I'll come and get you."
Cloud looked at her with a very sceptical expression on his face.
"Just in case you haven't noticed Aeris, there is one massive canyon that separates us. If I can't jump it then you can't either."
"Don't be like that Cloud. I know I can't jump it."
"Then how, exactly, are you going to come and get me?"
"I'll fly." she said simply.
Aeris leapt into the air, and two wings seemed to grow from her back. She spread them wide and flew higher into the air.
They were amazing; pure white, like her dress, with every feather shaped and defined perfectly. Cloud just had to stare in awe. He had never seen such beauty. Those wings; there was something so majestic about them, something angelic. But… at the same time, they were so earthly and natural. He didn't care to wonder on the details of this beauty, he just wanted to embrace it. Smiling, Cloud opened his arms to her.
"I'm on my way," she said, laughing happily as she started across the abyss. Cloud was surprised that she had no fear of the bottomless pit beneath her. To him it was a bit terrifying, if he fell into it, not knowing where he was falling, or for how long…
"Hey!" Aeris called. "This is a nice place, I don't want it ruined by your glum look. Now smile for heavens sake!"
Cloud tried to keep a straight face, but the corners of his mouth couldn't help tugging up into a smile.
"You okay now?" she asked.
Cloud was. In fact, nothing was wrong at all. He was here, so was Aeris, in this magnificent place. What could be wrong?
"I've never been happier," he replied sincerely. Aeris smiled and kept flying. She even did a little flip in the air for his amusement.
"Come on Aeris, stop messing around. I want you here, with me." Aeris stopped at his remark and looked at him questioningly.
"What, do you mean?" she asked
Cloud felt that this was both the time and the place to share his feelings. Things that he could never had said before seemed so easy to say now. He was finally ready. Ready to tell her was that she was the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. To tell her that he wanted to wake up next to her every morning. He was ready to tell her that he wanted to grow old with her, and that he loved her more than anything in the whole world.
"I meant exactly what I said Aeris. I want you here, next to me. Now and forever. I…"
His speech was interrupted by a shadow that fell across the whole meadow, covering everything in darkness. He couldn't even see his hand in front of his face. The only thing that was visible was Aeris, as bright and as beautiful as ever. Surprisingly enough, she hadn't noticed a thing. She was still looking at him in that same questioning manner.
The darkness left a chill that made him shiver both from the cold and something else that he couldn't quite place a finger on. It was something he knew he dreaded, but darkness only held things he couldn't see.
"Aeris, what's going on?"
"What do you mean?"
"I can't see anything except you."
"You know, you could see everything if you tried. You're just relying on your eyes too much."
"Ugh, stop talking in riddles!" he cried, extremely frustrated.
"For heaven's sake Cloud, wake up! Listen."
Cloud decided he wouldn't question, and did what he was told. He closed his eyes and listened as hard as he could. He heard a "swish" noise, only faintly, but it was definitely there. Funny, the last time he had heard that noise was when…
Sephiroth had killed Aeris. That "swish" was the sound of the masamune swooping down and impaling her on it.
Cloud went rigid with fear. It couldn't be him, not Sephiroth.
"Aeris," he said, slowly but clearly so she would hear every word. "Get out of here, right now. Fly away. Sephiroth is coming!"
"I know he is," replied Aeris in a surprisingly calm voice, and started to fly again. She didn't seem even the smallest bit concerned. "But I've nothing to worry about, do I? You're my bodyguard. You'll protect me."
Those words were like daggers through his heart. How could he protect her if he couldn't even see?
"Aeris, I need your help. I can't even see anything, so how am I supposed to see Sephiroth?"
Aeris sighed. She stopped in mid-air and concentrated. Bringing her hands together, a little orb of light started to grow between them. It grew to about the size of a football, before she threw her hands in front of her. The orb spread across the sky as much as it could, turning the would be pitch darkness to a lighter, grey dusk.
And Cloud's worst nightmare was realised. It was Sephiroth. He also had a wing, only one, and it was ragged and black, not at all like Aeris' beautiful, perfect wings. He had his sword in hand, the sleek, shining steel of the masamune that almost looked like it was smiling like he was. His twisted, sardonic smile he always wore when he was going to kill. And his eyes were fixed on Aeris.
"Aeris, get out of here! He's right behind you!"
Aeris turned and saw him flying towards her. Her eyes widened in surprise. She hadn't realised how close he was.
"Aeris," Cloud pleaded, a touch of hysteria entering his voice. "What are you doing? Get out of the way! I can't reach you from here, I can't protect you from here either. So for God's sake MOVE!"
Aeris looked back at Cloud, and he saw her eyes brimming with sadness.
"Last time," she said quietly, "you came for me, and did all you could. I always considered you a hero because of that. But now…."
Aeris clasped her hands together and bowed her head. Cloud saw the green glow of her eyes fade as she closed them.
"…. you're afraid to do anything. What if it was a choice between you or me? What would have done then? What would you do now? "
Aeris' breath caught in her throat as the masamune was plunged into her back. Her wings were ripped instantly, the feathers mixing with the blood spilling from her perfect frame. Having lost the items that kept her airborne, she fell spiralling into the abyss below her.
Cloud was so caught up in his terror and grief he didn't notice that all the flowers had wilted, and the ground was now a dusty, barren wasteland. He ran to the edge and dived into the canyon after Aeris. He hit solid ground. Standing up, he saw it had sealed itself.
Sephiroth landed a few feet away from Cloud and calmly leaned on his sword.
"If only things could have been that easy," he said, shaking his head in the way a mother would scold a child. "If you had followed her in there, you would have seen her again. But because she's sealed in there, you won't."
Cloud willed himself to move, but all he could manage was to take one step towards Aeris's murderer. His eyes were burning with detestation for this man. If looks could kill, Sephiroth would be lying cold on the ground.
Sephiroth did not notice Cloud's display of emotion, or if he did, he made a great job of hiding it. In fact he continued as if Cloud had done nothing at all.
"She's still alive you know. That blow wasn't fatal. She is going to slowly starve, day after day until she dies. Well, that or suffocation. What's worse is she's going to be trapped in there forever. Her spirit can't return to the lifestream where she is, because that's hell." He laughed. Cloud could feel the manic sound ringing in his ears.
A raw cry ripped from Cloud's throat and he lunged at Sephiroth.
"You bastard!" he screamed. "You fucking bastard!" He slammed his leg into Sephiroth's chin, but it was like hitting a brick wall. Sephiroth didn't even flinch. Instead he swung his sword around and pierced Cloud's side.
Cloud stiffened, but he didn't scream. It was the least he could do to redeem himself. He looked down on the Masamune with disgust. This was the second time he had been impaled on this damn thing. It's weird how you think of the little things when you're dying.
Sephiroth slid the sword out of Cloud's body. Cloud, being fully supported by it, fell to his hands and knees. The pain seemed far less than the last time, even though the sword had penetrated further. Perhaps he didn't care anymore. He cast his head down in shame and defeat.
"You've beaten me Sephiroth," he said, his breath coming in short gasps. "Now just end it, please end it."
"My pleasure," he replied, lifting the Masamune high and swinging it down to Cloud's head.
Cloud jolted awake, bolting upright and letting his mouth open in a silent scream. His breathing came in rapid gasps, each breath trying to calm the racing heart in his chest. It took him several seconds to realise that he wasn't in a meadow, but the Church in the Sector Five slums in Midgar. He put his head in his hands and drew a few slow deep breaths.
"Just a dream Cloud," he reassured himself. "Just another dream." This was by no means his first, or second dream for that matter. They had all started a few months ago, about four to be precise. He always dreamt of Aeris, and it was always bad. For the past four months he had had to relive her death each night, by Sephiroth's hand, or by his own. It scared him to no end. He didn't know why they had just started four months ago, and he didn't know weather they were a sign of things to come or just… bad dreams.
Strangely, he didn't want them to stop. Even though they brought nothing but pain, he felt he deserved it because he'd failed to protect her. He felt he needed to be reminded of his failure or else he'd forget it, and if he forgot that, he'd forget Aeris. That was the last thing he wanted. Who would ever want to forget her, with her soft delicate features, the tumbling locks of auburn hair that framed her face, set off by those wondrous, sparkling emerald eyes. The amazing smile she would always wear, her little giggle, the way she looked under his hair to see his eyes, her generosity, her friendliness. What he'd do to just hug her once more, take in everything about her, like the way she always smelt of sweet honey and sugar. He wanted to see her pink dress again, he wanted to hear the rustling sound her jacket made when it brushed against it. Once he remembered the metal lining at the end caught on the dress and ripped it across. He had laughed as she quickly folded her arms across the exposed flesh, and desperately tried to find something to cover it up. He had given her his coat while adverting his eyes, but he didn't miss the unmistakable blush that flushed her cheeks.
It was a pity he couldn't remember those kind of things in his dreams. Instead, he only dreamt of her death, and each night they got worse. His gaze drifted to the pink ribbon on his left arm. He hadn't taken it off since the pact Avalanche made when they had landed the airship two years ago. He remembered that day like it was yesterday. They had all disembarked on the outskirts of Kalm in complete silence, nobody wanting to break the spell of what they'd just witnessed. Cloud remembered well; there had been no cheering, or hugging or slaps on the back, just… silence. The eight of them sat on the grass watching the lifestream recede and the small fires in Midgar slowly extinguish.
"Everyone," Cloud spoke up. Seven faces looked in his direction. He looked at each of them in return.
"The lifestream, erupting like that-"
"Yeah!" Barret interrupted. "Why did it just explode like that? It sure as hell wasn't our doin!"
"And how did it obliterate both Holy and Meteor?" Nanaki, aka Red XIII mused.
"It was really cool!" Yuffie chipped in. "First it was like, really little, and then BOOM! Hundreds of little lifestreams went and exploded it together!"
"Way to go, squirt," Cid commented. "It's not like we just saw the damn thing five minutes ago." Yuffie stuck her tongue out in retaliation.
"It doesn't matter weather we saw it five minutes ago or not," Cait Sith said, breaking up the impending fight. "What matters is the why. Did the planet sense holy as being a danger? Or was it just reacting to Meteor going crazy?"
"The planet can only heal itself with it's energy, not attack dangers," Tifa argued. "The weapons were created for that purpose, and they were all destroyed."
"I have a theory." Everyone looked at Vincent. "The lifestream is the planet's consciousness. My guess is that that consciousness was being manipulated to attack Meteor if Holy failed. But the real question is-"
"who." Tifa finished. Vincent nodded.
"Aeris."
Seven faces looked at Cloud once more. This time, he didn't return their stare. His gaze was distant, staring off into space, looking at something the rest couldn't see.
"It was her who manipulated the lifestream like that. She must have stayed there, ready to act if Holy failed." He paused. The emotion in his eyes was completely unreadable.
"She was the one that saved us all. It's all thanks to her that we, that the planet still exists."
"How do you know?" Tifa asked. "It could have been anything that did that." Cloud kept staring into space. A shadow of a smile crossed his features.
"I just do," he replied. "I know it was her. I felt it, deep inside me. Not instinct, deeper than that. It was like I knew in my soul, that was Aeris's doing."
"Like when you dreamt about her in the Ancient Forest?" Barret asked. Cloud nodded.
"Yeah."
"I believe you Cloud," Yuffie said quietly. "Now that you mention it, it does seem like she was always there, ready in case we ever screwed up."
"That's awfully deep for you," Barret jeered.
"Oh just shut up!" she exclaimed. "Just because I like life doesn't mean I can't be serious every now and then. Do you actually think I'm a stereotypical ball of sunshine?"
"Don't get me started on what I really think of you, you materia swiper."
"Barret, please!" Tifa yelled. "Could you give it a break for one minute?"
"Let's make a pact," Cloud said, shattering the growing tension.
"What kind of pact?" Cait Sith asked.
"Aeris did so much for us, I don't want us to just forget that. I think we should do something for her, you know, something to honour her memory."
"Like what?" Tifa asked. Cloud laughed.
"I have no idea."
Silence resumed. Each member thought hard on what they could do.
"How about we all come here once a year every year at this time?" Cid suggested.
"No, it's too predictable," came Cloud's reply. "As we get older I know this kind of promise won't keep. Things will happen, we'll have responsibilities and obligations that will tie us to certain places. I want us to make this pact simple, so that no matter where we are, or what we do or become in life, we'll be able to keep this promise. I also just want something, different. The plain old simple thing is not something I personally want to do." Cloud thought for a while longer.
"I know!" he proclaimed. "Her favourite colour was pink, right? Let's all wear a pink ribbon on our left arm, like the one she had in her hair."
"I like that idea," Tifa said enthusiastically. "Let's do it." Her statement was followed by a several murmurs of agreement and nodding heads.
"Then it's settled." He held out his hand. Each of his friends piled theirs on top of his. He smiled.
"For Aeris."
A loud crash broke his train of thought. He leapt to his feet quickly and spun around, raising his fists in defence as his sword was too far away to reach. He almost laughed at himself when he saw that it was just a cat that had knocked over a wooden table. He looked at his watch. 4:10. Usually he woke at six or seven. Not bothering to fix the table he walked towards the back of the church, stopping at the flowers for a moment before he passed. Each one was beautiful, and he tugged a few of the growing weeds that had appeared. Even though it was night time he found he could see marginally well because of the Jenova cells in his body. The start of the whole cursed disease that was sweeping Gaia at the moment. His hand curled into a fist. Children were dying because of that bitch. Even though they had killed her two years ago, she still managed to live on, her cells feeding off the orphans that Tifa was caring for, destroying their families. He couldn't count the number of times he saw Tifa's eyes filling with tears, and watching her blink them away so she'd look strong in front of the children. It mustn't have helped with him leaving like that…
He shook the thoughts away and walked into the back room. Manoeuvring around the debris (which he really had to start cleaning up one of these days, he was living here after all) he made his way up the stairs, across the gap and onto the timber beams. They were starting to rot; constant exposure to the rain and elements was probably not a good thing. It certainly wasn't helping. Hopping across the more stable beams, he reached the hole in the roof. Looking back, he remembered fondly that this was the route they'd taken to escape from Reno. His first act as her bodyguard.
Cloud couldn't help all the memories flooding back. He rested his forehead on the space between his index finger and thumb, shutting out them out. He knew she was gone, he knew she wasn't coming back. He just couldn't help it. He willed his emotions to go back to where they came from. A place where no one could find or reach. Not even himself.
He walked outside, jumping from roof to roof towards the former playground with surprising agility. The warrior had not given up on his training in the past two years, he was still as fit as ever. He looked down at his clothing. The old look was gone, instead he had adopted a more… black look. Black trousers, black vest, gloves, shoes, everything except two silver buckles and a silver wolf that he wore on his left shoulder.
He was reaching the last few rooftops when a shriek feminine voice pierced through the still night air, assaulting his eardrums.
"Wait! Wait I said!"
He turned around and for a moment he could have sworn it was her, swinging her arms back and forth, trying to psyche herself up for the jump. Cloud shook his head and the image disappeared.
"Get a hold of yourself," he admonished. "She's dead Strife, and no matter how much you want it she's not coming back."
It seemed as soon as he said those words he was punished for his blasphemy with an onslaught of pain to his left arm. Cloud, feeling suddenly dizzy and very nauseous, collapsed on the roof and slid dangerously close to the edge. Realising the disastrous consequences of falling two storeys he dug his feet into the roof tiles and halted his death drop. He clutched his left arm in a vice grip, squeezing the flesh with all his might to suppress the pain.
"What the hell is this?" he wondered, gritting his teeth and waiting for it to subside. It was like getting a fire 3 spell directly on the arm. In other words, it hurt. A lot.
After about the longest thirty seconds in his life, the pain finally stopped. Cloud was left taking in slow ragged breaths on the roof. He could feel the sweat pouring down his face, and the weakness his entire body was in. Trying to gather his composure, he looked up at the stars. The plates were gone, completely demolished. Everyone had a full view of the sky now, which didn't seem like much but Cloud found it somewhat comforting to see those in this state than any metal structure.
Cloud stared at that sky for hours, until the light had well taken over the abyss of night. Finally finding the courage to try and get up, he rolled onto his hands and knees, before pulling himself to his shaky feet. Slowly he climbed across the rooftop, his strength returning with each step he took. He entered the space where the old playground used to be. The slide he had sat on with Aeris was gone, in fact the whole area had been cleared and replaced with a gigantic monument of Meteor bearing down on Midgar. He wondered where he should go. After a moments hesitation, he headed for Sector Seven.
Author's Note: Hi all, I've decided to go back and work on another Cloud and Aeris fic for a while, I'm putting my Yuffie one on hold because (1) I wanna get this finished before Advent Children hit's the stores. I know that if it isn't finished and I watch the movie I'm going to alter it to match the storyline more. (2) I've hit complete writers block with my Yuffie one.
I'm also trying to decide weather I want to put in the bits of Advent Children storyline that I do know or should I just write and see how it works out. I don't want to make it too Advent Children, but I don't want to avoid it either. Suggestions anyone?
Anyway, thanks for reading!
LastCetra