Dream: OK, so I started this on June 17th since I had a big state Spanish test thing in three hours and I got bored with studying. Now, as I'm sure everyone's aware, a bored kitsune with a keyboard and a working computer equals a random short fanfic! Whee!
Zero: Now if only you could channel that enthusiasm into Dog Shows...
Dream: SHH! If you remind the readers about that story they'll chase after me with pitchforks for not updating!
Zero: ... Oh would you look at that? Dream still hasn't updated Dog Shows!
Dream: -action of hissing and hiding-
Zero: -action of waiting- Oh come on! Where's the pitchforking!
Dream: Um...yeah...So, Yu Yu Hakusho and all its characters belong to Yoshihiro Togashi. Flash and Lioness belong to Winter –iel –o burzum. Reza belongs to my friend Jess. (Well, really Reza is Jess, but I thought she'd like being called Reza more than Jess, so yeah). Everything else belongs to me unless otherwise noted.
Zero: Tch, if you want something done, you've gotta do it yourself...
Dream: ...Zero...what are you doing with that pitchfork...? EEEP! You're going to be in this story!
Zero: Hot dog! I get paid! One way plane tickets to Siberia, here I come!
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Teacher, teacher, my homework ate my dog! :
"Classes are officially over. As of this moment, we're officially one summer away from Eleventh grade! One summer away! That's a whole two months! Not one, not seventeen, but two! In your face tenth grade, we've beaten you! And in your face eleventh grade, because you're two months away from us so go cry in a corner or something! But, I don't want to go cry in a corner. Well that's too bad, 'cuz you're not important for two months."
"Y'know, Reza, talking to yourself isn't good for your health." A girl with layered black hair and silver bangs, dressed completely in black said to her friend Reza. She was wearing sunglasses over her golden eyes.
Reza, also dressed in black, had dirty blondish hair with red and black tips. One of her eyes was silver and the other was red. She had red makeup under her mismatched eyes to make it seem that she was bleeding. On her black converse shoes she had taped pieces of paper which said 'insert awesome Link boots here, yo'. The girl pouted, "Aww..."
"It's only unhealthy when she starts answering herself, just talking is ok. But, she was answering herself, idiot. Well...well...Meanie! Ouch, that hurts. Oh the pain, it's excruciating. Flash! The voice in my head is being mean to me again!" The black haired girl's other friend whined. This girl had dark brown hair and cloudy blue-grey eyes. Unlike her companions, she was dressed completely in pink with pink hiking type half-boots. She had a black headband with feathery cat ears on her head.
Flash sighed and rubbed her forehead, "Autumn, how many times do I have to tell you that if you have a complaint about the way the world was created, you must fill out all the proper paperwork and pay me whatever outrageous sum I feel is necessary so that I can sit on my butt ignoring you while you tell me all about your problems. God's help doesn't come cheap, you know!"
"Heeey! I'm God! My Awesome Link Boots tell me so! See?" Reza lifted up one of her feet and pointed to something written on the side of the shoe. "Right there! See? 'Reza is -' WHOA!"
Flash and Autumn sweat dropped as Reza fell over onto the ground and quickly stood back up, stumbling slightly because of the chains on her pants. She was laughing in embarrassment. "That never happened."
"Right!" Autumn saluted and started walking down the street again, only to have a hand placed on her forehead to keep her from going forward. This didn't stop her from trying to walk, however.
"Autumn, you're not going anywhere." Flash pointed out.
Autumn smiled, "That's nonsense, Flash! I'm moving my legs, so I'm obviously going somewhere! Why, if I weren't going somewhere it'd have to be because someone was stopping me from going anywhere by, say, putting a hand on my forehead. However, since that's obviously not the case...hey...wait...There's a hand on my forehead!"
"I do believe you've become even more of an idiot since the last time I saw you...if that's at all possible..."
"Biscuits and gumdrops, golly gee cucumber! A disembodied voice hath come to me from the fleshy bowels of the hand! The hand of death! Take me to your leader, mighty hand!" Autumn gasped.
The hand was removed with a growl, revealing to Autumn a dragon demon with silver and black wings and a silver tail. He had his silver tipped black hair pulled back into a ponytail with bangs falling down into his face. He had one red eye and one violet. He was wearing a dark blue sleeveless shirt and black pants.
"Heeeeey! It's Zero! Hi, Zero! You're just in time to hear the mystical disembodied voice which, now that I think about it, sounded an awful lot like your voice! Imagine that!" Autumn smiled. She then hugged the dragon tightly, "Aww! I've missed you, you big mean angry mean unhappy thing, you!"
"Gah! Don't touch me! Let go! I'll kill you!" Zero hissed, attempting to pry the girl off of him.
Reza smiled and did a little dance in place, "Cool! A dragon! Woo, you're a dragon, go you. Dragons are cool. I like dragons, whee!"
"Hey, Ratbat, don't you think you should put those away?" Flash pointed at his wings and tail.
Zero gave up trying to remove his new accessory and looked at his tail. "No. I don't care if humans see me like this. I doubt they'll realize I'm not human."
"He's got a point, y'know," said Zero's fancy new Autumn, imported straight from a few blocks away.
Reza held out her hand to the dragon, "I'm pretty sure we haven't met...So, hi. I'm Reza."
"Oh great... Not another one of Autumn's friends..." Zero mumbled to himself. He smiled reluctantly and shook Reza's hand, "Hello. My name's Zero."
"OH EM GEE! The dragon shook my hand! My life's complete! Dragon, whee!" Reza glomped the confused dragon who was still being hugged by Autumn, sending all three of them sprawling on the pavement.
Flash sweat dropped, "You guys are embarrassing me more than usual..."
Zero was struggling to free himself from the two girls that were hugging him to the point of suffocation. "Bloody...hell...! It's like you two are clones or something!"
"That's because..." Reza began.
"...we're..." Autumn continued.
Both girls hopped up simultaneously and held out a victory sign with fireworks going off behind them. "The brosis-es!"
Zero sat up and blinked, "...the brosis-es...?"
"Yep. We took a quiz online which said we were brothers and since we're a lot alike, we decided we were also sisters. Thus...'brosis'!" Autumn explained.
"Brosis-es just seemed like an appropriate plural." Reza nodded.
"If I fail my finals, I'm blaming it on you." Flash stated.
"K!" Reza and Autumn nodded.
Flash rolled her eyes, "That means I'll have to kill you since, if I fail, my coffee's being taken away."
"Geh! Oh noez! We must make sure that the coffee is not taken from Flash!" Autumn paled.
Reza nodded furiously, "It'd just be horrible to have a repeat of last time!"
"What happened last time?" Zero wondered.
Flashback (Don't you just love them to pieces? X3 ):
"Oh, I love my coffee! Yes I do! Who's the best coffee in the world? You are!" Flash was cooing at her coffee. It had been given to her by Botan in order to coax her into coming to Koenma's office along with Autumn and Reza.
"Wow, Flash. Just, wow." Reza shook her head.
Yusuke laughed, "Hey, Hiei, I think Flash loves the coffee more than she loves you."
Hiei hissed at Yusuke. Flash gasped and hugged the coffee, "Of course I do!"
This caused laughter to erupt from Yusuke and Kuwabara. Hiei crossed his arms, "...it's just a stupid beverage..."
"...Wait right here, my sweet lovely little coffee. Mommy has to go have a friendly chat with Hiei, ok?" Flash set her coffee down on Koenma's desk and then stood up, her eyes hidden under her bangs.
Hiei fidgeted. Kurama laughed nervously, "Now, Flash..."
"Hey! Coffee!" Hinote grinned, walking into the room. He picked up the coffee and drank it. He set down the cup and wiped his mouth. "Ah! That was some good coffee! Hey, why's everyone staring at me like that?"
Flash poked the empty cup, "My...coffee..."
"Oh shit! That was Flash's coffee! Why didn't you guys tell me!" Hinote asked, thoroughly horrified and fearing for his life.
"We didn't have time." Responded Kurama calmly.
Flash turned slowly to glare at Hinote, murder in her eyes and the air around her. Hinote whimpered and ran. Flash didn't bother chasing after. She let out an inhuman screech which carried for miles. At the same time, various parts of Koenma's palace exploded.
End Flashback:
Zero stared in horror at Flash. "Well, in that case, I'm leaving."
"But you can't leave! You just got here!" Autumn protested, "You have to come to my house with us!"
Reza nodded in agreement. Flash shrugged. Zero growled, "Fine."
"Yay! Let's go!" Autumn pointed ahead.
Some time later, at Autumn's house:
"Thought you guys were supposed to be studying..." Zero sweat dropped, watching the three girls playing Super Smash Bros. on Autumn's Gamecube. He was simultaneously hit with three controllers.
"Don't mention that word. It's evil." The three girls said in unison.
There was a 'poof' followed by Reza hissing and attacking the person that appeared. Once things calmed down, the group was able to see that it was Botan. Reza quickly started apologizing for knocking her over. Flash groaned, "What do you want?"
"I have an urgent mission for you!" Botan stated, unfazed by Flash's obvious disgust.
Flash frowned and picked up her controller again, "Sorry, we're busy studying."
"But that's a video game..." Botan protested.
Autumn smiled and laughed, "Silly Botan! That game happens to be very historical! It's a reenactment of...um...Medieval Europe! Yeah! And all of the battles and things that happened then!"
"But there were no Pokémon in Medieval Europe..." continued Botan.
Reza decided to come to Autumn's aid, "Yes there were! There were lots of Pokémon in Medieval Europe! The textbooks don't mention them because the people who wrote them were jealous because they don't have Pokémon! C'mon, don't you know anything?"
"Oh...Well, if you say so..." Botan scratched her head.
Zero rolled his eyes and muttered, "That's almost as dumb as Autumn's 'Please save my kitty' trick."
Autumn stuck her tongue out at Zero. Botan clapped her hands together in remembrance, "Oh! That's right! The mission!"
"No. That's not right. There is no mission. In fact, you're not even talking to the right people. Who are you? What are you doing in my house?" Flash narrowed her eyes at Botan.
"But...this is my house..." Autumn protested.
Flash crossed her arms and nodded, "But you forget that I am God. Therefore, all houses belong to me. So ha."
"Hey! I'm God!" Reza frowned.
"Not this again..." Zero groaned.
Botan whistled to get their attention. "Listen up! This mission is very important! Apparently, one of the teachers in your school has been possessed by a demon! You need to apprehend the demon before anyone gets hurt!"
"Which teacher?" Zero asked, even though it made no difference to him.
Botan laughed nervously, "We don't know."
"Oh, how much trouble could this demon possibly cause? I mean, what's it going to do? Homework us to death?" Flash rolled her eyes.
Reza and Autumn started laughing. Reza made a mocking scream, "OH EM GEE! My homework grew teeth at me!"
"Oh noez!" Autumn laughed.
Zero let the slightest smile show on his face. Botan frowned, "This is serious, you three!"
"And so is the injury you're going to receive in two seconds if you don't leave us to our studying." threatened Flash.
Of course, Botan knew that Flash wasn't joking and so she left in a hurry, saying she had some unfinished paperwork to do. The three girls then continued their game and Zero continued to watch.
Two days later:
Flash opened the door of the High School, only to be greeted by screams of terror. She calmly walked inside the school, humming along to the music playing on her Mp3 player. She walked by a couple of people cowering in a corner and stepped over another person who was lying on the ground twitching in pain. Since the screams kept getting louder as she walked, she turned up the volume of her music.
A black blur launched itself at Flash, sending both of them sprawling onto the hallway floor and Flash's Mp3 player flying. The hallway faded and was replaced by a painted bridge with a painted red sky and a blue river. Flash became a painted figure in the bottom right corner of the painting, her hands on the sides of her face, her eyes tiny dots, and her mouth open in a silent scream. (Y'know, like that painting by Edvard Munch)
Autumn caught the Mp3 player before it could hit the ground. Flash got all starry eyed and clasped her hands together under her chin. She hugged Autumn, "You saved my life! Thank you!"
"All she did was catch your Mp3 player..." Zero pointed out, walking up to them.
Flash nodded furiously, "And thus she saved my life!"
Zero rolled his eyes. Flash then realized he was there, "What're you doing here, anyway?"
"There's a crisis situation going on in your school. Didn't you hear the screaming?"
"Yeah, it was really annoying. So I turned up the volume on my Mp3 player."
"Which must be why she didn't hear me screaming 'OH EM GEE! IT'S FLASH! FLAAAAAAAAASH!'" Reza added, finally managing to stand up after getting tangled in her chains.
Autumn crossed her arms and nodded. Flash looked around, "So, what is this 'crisis situation'?"
Zero opened a nearby classroom door. There were monstrous paper packets with fangs and horns attacking the students and teacher. The people were screaming. A packet turned towards the doorway and charged. Zero promptly shut the door. Flash sweat dropped.
Reza pointed, "The demon teacher is trying to final us to death!"
"...Let's go get pizza." Flash suggested.
"What about your finals?" Zero asked.
Flash rolled her eyes, "I'm not sticking around to get eaten by test papers."
"I know! Let's call Kura-Kura-chan! He'll know what to do!" Autumn grinned. She then pulled out her cell phone and dialed Kurama's voice.
"Moshi moshi?" came Kurama's voice from the phone.
"It's me!" Autumn chirped.
Zero crossed his arms and rolled his eyes, "How much help is he going to be if he's in Japan?"
"Autumn? What's wrong? Why are you calling in the middle of the day? Don't you have finals?" Kurama asked, concerned.
Autumn nodded, "Yes but...you see...the finals turned into bloodthirsty monsters and they're attacking everyone and Flash was all 'Let's get pizza.' And Zero was all 'What about your tests?' so I was all 'Let's call Kura-Kura-chan! He'll know what to do!' and I called you and you were all 'Moshi moshi?' and I was all 'It's me!' and Zero was all 'How much help is he going to be if he's in Japan? Grump grump' and you were all 'Autumn? What's wrong? Why are you calling in the middle of the day? Don't you have finals?' and I was all..."
"SHUT UP!" Zero and Flash yelled at Autumn at the same time, causing the girl to fall over backwards.
"Oww..." Autumn sat up and rubbed her head.
Kurama sighed, "Autumn, please don't call me if you're not going to be serious."
"I am being serious! That's exactly what everyone was saying!" Autumn defended.
"I meant about your tests. Don't worry, you'll do fine. Now, I really must get going, my lunch time is almost over."
"Oh...well, I was being serious about that, too! The tests really are attacking people!"
"Autumn..." said Kurama warningly.
Autumn looked pleadingly at Zero and held out the phone to him. Zero arched an eyebrow, "What?"
"Tell him I'm not joking!" Autumn begged.
Zero sighed and took the phone, "Kurama? Yeah, the idiot's not kidding. The tests have been altered by the energy of a demon who's possessing one of the teachers."
"Zero? What are you...?"
"Look. Do you have a plan or not? I'm sick of being here." Zero growled.
Kurama sighed, "Well, you should find the teacher and get the demon. That should make the tests go back to normal. Now, I really must go."
"Alright. Thanks." Zero then hung up.
Autumn stared at him in horror. Zero arched an eyebrow, "What?"
"You hung up before she could say bye to him." Reza explained, "She's gonna kill you now."
Autumn shook her head, "No, not now."
"Oh..." Reza watched Autumn as she stood up and brushed herself off, "...now?"
Autumn held out a hand with one finger extended. She closed her eyes and had a serious expression on her face. After a moment of silence she nodded, "Now."
"Whee!" Reza smiled.
Flash stood between Autumn and Zero, "As much as I'd love to see Ratbat get his ass kicked, this school is making me sick. What'd Kurama say?"
"He said to find the teacher and get the demon." Zero answered.
"Screw that. Let's just burn the school. That'll solve all our problems." Flash nodded.
Reza and Autumn threw their arms into the air in joy, "YAY! We're gonna burn the school!"
"But..." Zero began to protest.
"God has spoken, Ratbat." Flash interrupted.
Zero growled and followed the girls as they stepped over beaten students on their way to raid the janitor's closet for flammable materials.
A couple hours and many containers of gasoline later:
Flash put on her sunglasses as she watched the school go up in flames from the match that Reza threw at it. She turned around and wiped her hands together, "Alright, mission accomplished! Now, who's going to donate money to the 'Feed God' foundation?"
Reza and Autumn looked at each other before pointing at Zero. Zero blinked, "Me! But I don't even carry human money!"
"Then it's settled. We'll get Hiei to buy us food. He's been doing chores for my foster parents, so he should have some money."
"Yay! Hiei's buying us food!" Reza and Autumn yelled.
Flash shook her head, "No. Hiei's buying me food. You guys are just coming along to provide Hiei with a reason to be nice to me."
"Aw man..." Autumn whined.
"But...but...I like food, Flash!" Reza protested, utterly horrified at the idea of not being fed, "Feed Reza!"
Flash pointed her thumb at Zero, "Eat him."
"He's too pretty to be eaten!" Reza shook her head.
Zero narrowed his eyes, "I've just suddenly remembered why I don't like to visit Autumn."
"Flash...Why do I get the feeling you're responsible for this...?" Kurama asked as he and Hiei walked over to them.
"Hiei! Just the fire demon I was looking for! How would you like to make a donation to the 'Feed God' foundation?" Flash smiled at him.
Hiei scoffed, "I wouldn't."
"Oh? Well, what if I told you that, for a limited time only, when you make a generous donation, you are guaranteed safety from Reza and Autumn for three days?" Flash whispered quietly afterwards, "...at most..."
Hiei glanced at Reza and Autumn. They were smiling innocently with their hands behind their backs. Hiei gulped, "Fine. I'll buy you food."
Flash grinned happily and started walking away with Hiei, Reza, and Autumn following. Kurama stayed behind staring at the school, "I said 'find the teacher and get the demon'. Is that really so hard to follow?"
"Did you honestly expect them to do as you said?" Zero asked.
Kurama sighed and rubbed his forehead, "No."
"Come on, let's go get food." Zero pointed at their retreating friends.
Kurama nodded, "At least they got all the students and teachers out of the building...right?"
"Um..."
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Dream: Well, it's finally finished.
Zero: Do you realize it took you weeks to write this one chapter?
Dream: Right, so this was originally intended to lighten the stress which people suffer during finals, but yeah...now it's just sort of silly...Oh well.
Zero: At least I was in it.
Dream: Yup! You know, I had a dream that we got married once.
Zero: Eh? We did what? Are you serious? That's horrible!
Dream: ...it was your idea...
Zero: ...I think I'm going to be sick...
Dream: Aw, c'mon! You know you love me! Hey, where'd you go?