(A/N: Okay, I got irritated because I was reading all these really really good fanfics like this, and I decided that we need just one absolute crap one. So, here we are.)
"MWAHAHAHAHAHA…" Buzzed (that's me!) did her really bad impression of an evil cackle,
"Jesus Buzzed." Buzzed's friend Boo (I have named her after her cat. Poor cat. Wouldn't that be so cool to see? Jesus buzzed. Hehe…) shook her head in disbelief that she still hung out with… this. Sirius Black, Albus Percival Wulferic Brian Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall, Severus Snape, the bad-ass Weasley twins, and Remy Lupin all gave Buzzed looks as she started ever-so-slightly foaming at the mouth. She popped her Sane Pills, and the crazy cackling/foaming went away. She cleared her throat and said,
"Hem hem. God, that sounded like Great Flying Cow known commonly as Umbitch," Minerva interrupted her to give Buzzed a high-five. Buzzed returned it, and continued, "So, I have decided that we will momentarily reside in the R.O.A.A.R. Room of Amazing Awesomeness and—I don't know what the other R stands for, but I'll figure it out sometime. OH! It stands for Recreation. Okay. To the rest of the sane people reading this, it is known as the Room of Requirement. Yes, I have indeed hooked it up for Wi-Fi. How?, you may ask. Cause I'm just that amazing. Let me explain how this works: I will receive reviews with people asking that I ask one of you a question/have you do something. If you don't do it, you are stuck here for an extra chapter. Well, you have to do it. But if there is an absurd amount of irritating me, you're stuck here even longer. The bare minimum is 3 chapters." Severus actually started whimpering. Buzzed rolled her eyes and said to him,
"Suck it up and deal with it. I love you, but deal with it." Severus stopped. Boo said,
"Buzzed, you're kinda messed up, you know that?" Buzzed grinned at Boo and said,
"But you love me anyway. 'Sides, am I the one sleeping until 3 in the damn afternoon? No, so shut it." Boo gave Buzzed the bird, but shut her trap. Buzzed continued,
"Now, to get this show in the road, I'm going to have to ask a question, just cause I WANT ANSWERS! Now. Albus," He looked at Buzzed and said,
"Yes, my dear?" He popped a lemon drop, and Buzzed couldn't help but smile,
"Are you and Minerva married?" Albus opened his mouth to respond but Minerva beat him to it,
"No, we most definitely are not! Why would you think such a preposterous thing?" Boo smirked and said,
"Well, if you aren't married, that's one hell of a rock on your hand. And there are a few more creative explanations I can think up for that baby bump." Minerva flushed deeply, and folded her hands over the now-obvious bump. Albus couldn't help but grin. Remy just looked on with a slight interest. Sirius and the twins' eyes were wide open, and twitching as they pictured their ex-professors having sex. Sirius slapped his hands over his eyes, curled up in a ball and started rocking. He muttered to himself,
"Find a happy place find a happy place…" The twins quickly followed suit. Severus said in his orgasm-causing voice,
"Well Minerva, Boo certainly has a point. Been working the corners lately, have we?" Since Minerva had tons of hormones coursing through her, she felt completely justified in popping Sev one right in the chops. He stumbled back, and started laughing. Minerva started laughing too. Remy laughed quietly. Sirius was still frozen in horror. Albus took advantage of the moment and said,
"Yes, Minerva and I have been married for just a few weeks." Boo thought for a second and said,
"So, when did you get engaged?" Minerva replied this time,
"That would be a month and a half ago." Boo giggled and said,
"We are very naughty aren't we? Got her knocked, then proposed? What is this?" Albus and Minerva both blushed deeply. Fred laughed. Then stopped and said,
"Oh God. How far are you Minnie?" Minerva blushed and said,
"4 months." Fred paled and looked at George. He looked at him. Fred said,
"Remember that time we set Sev on fire-" George paled too and said,
"And we had to go to the headmaster-"
"And Minnie was there-"
"AND THERE WAS LOTS OF MOANING THROUGH THE DOOR?" The twins started screaming. The Room thoughtfully provided them with a large bucket. The twins proceeded to wash their eyes out while screaming. Once that was sorted out, the Weasleys dried off and sat back down. Both were especially jumpy around Minerva and Albus. Buzzed giggled and whispered something to Boo. Boo's jaws dropped and said,
"Oh God." She burst out laughing. Both received peculiar looks all around. Buzzed managed to calm down enough to say,
"Well, that's it for now. REVIEW! If there are no reviews tomorrow I will hunt you all down and rip your spleen out through your anus!" Boo added in all siriusness,
"And I will have no choice but to knife you up the vagina. Or kick the nose off your face." Buzzed posted the story, and waited not-so-patiently for reviews.