Title: Stabbing is to Stab ~ Walker [DRRR!]
A/N: I half-assed this. You can probably tell how half-assed this is. I just felt like writing about Walker giving a little insight into writing to a 'popular' online fan-fiction author.
"You know, I'm rather partial to literature." Walker circled the room, staring up at the walls filled with merchandise of various 'Japanese Anime'. He recognized every one of the listed series. "I've read some of the more popular series of our generation; Harry Potter, Eragon... Even Twilight, though I must say, I'm not partial to gay fairies."
"He's a vampire," The man in the chair glared but soon caught himself. "Not that I've read the series,"
"Oh, I'm sure." Walker laughed. "However, the point I'm making is that you've written quite a lot of things yourself. I took the liberty of reading every last one of your works." He reached into a black bag hooked over his shoulder and removed a thick stack of papers, waving them in the air.
The man only briefly noticed his name printed along the top. "So it that why you broke into my house and tied me to this fucking chair? To tell me you're a fan?" He shifted under the restraints. "Why didn't you just send me a fucking message?"
"Oh, I'm no fan. And a message would have hardly conveyed my feelings. You would have simply ignored it. No, this was something I had to do personally." He tucked the papers back into his bag and removed a black handled knife.
"What are you doing?" The man's eyes bulged, his heart suddenly thrashing against his chest in fear. "What is that?"
"While reading your stories, I noticed many flaws. One, however, irritated me the most. You misused the word 'as' a lot." He twirled the knife, smiling in a pleasant manner.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you see, my dear friend, you would say, 'He gushed blood as he was stabbed'. That isn't proper grammar. You see, the rules of literature apply as so, 'Action and then reaction'. You can't have them doing two separate things at one time. An example," He approached the man quickly. "He didn't gush blood before he was stabbed, as that sentence implied."
"What are you doing?" The man flailed in his chair, his eyes wide, and his mouth agape. "Get the fuck away from me!"
"He was stabbed," Walker lodged the blade to the hilt into the man's stomach, twisting the blade to the side and removing it. "And then blood gushed out. That is proper grammar."
A fountain of blood streamed from the wound, wetting Walker's clothing.
He smiled down at the man, his grin twisted while the man screamed out in pain.
"You fucking cunt!" He screamed, writhing back and forth against the restraints.
"See? You were stabbed and now blood is gushing from you. You weren't stabbed as blood gushed from you. Do you understand today's lesson?" He cleaned the blade against his ruined hoodie, his smile wicked.
"I'll kill you, bitch! I'll kill you!"
"That's another thing. You used the word fuck after every single sentence, including dialogue and description, making the characters very out of character and foul. It was unpleasant to read. If you live, be sure to change that, okay?" Walker threw the knife into his bag and turned, walking toward the door. "Bye-bye," He waved back at him, leaving him to curse and scream while he bled to death.