A/N: this fic is set with some of the HP characters, some time during the Marauder's 6th year at Hogwarts. It is purely for fun, and does not necessarily run in concert with the story faithfully set down by our dear JK. Hope you like!
Disclaimer: I don't own any HP stuff, nor do I own the titles of the songs from "Hairspray", which this fic is loosely based on (you'll notice some similarities between titles of chapters).
Chapter One: Good Morning Voldemort
Bellatrix Black was having a bad day. A very bad day. She stalked down the halls of Hogwarts, shooting curses in every direction at undeserving first years.
"OUT OF MY WAY!" she screamed, sending a bolt of red light shooting off towards the wall. Part of the wall in the fourth floor corridor crumbled to the ground.
"Oi! Black! Forget to take your happy pills this morning?" James Potter called out. He and Sirius Black passed Bellatrix, who sneered at them.
"Forget to die this morning, Potter?" she spat back.
James turned to Sirius. "Hmmmm . . . I'm still alive, aren't I, Padfoot?"
Sirius grinned. "I think so, Prongs. Want me to check?"
And with no warning, Sirius' right arm sped out and whacked James in the gut. He doubled over, pulling his wand out and cursing Sirius in a loud breath. Sirius ducked, laughing, and the light sped towards Bellatrix, who blocked it easily, sending her own light in return.
"Magic in the halls, Miss Black, Mr Black, Mr Potter?"
McGonagall strode towards them, black robes billowing. James and Sirius stood up and took a step back.
"Never, Professor. And might I say how lovely you're looking this morning?" Sirius winked at her.
"That will do, Mr Black. 10 points from Gryffindor. And 10 points from Slytherin as well, Miss Black. Now off to class with you all."
McGonagall continued to walk up the hall, students who had gathered to watch the fight scattering in her midst. James winked at Sirius.
"Come on, Prongs, we'll be late for class."
A new voice (and a girl with bright red hair) joined the fray. "Oh, and I bet that would have to be the first time you've EVER been late."
Lily Evans, voice dripping with sarcasm, and her friend Alice walked past them, shaking their heads disdainfully.
"Evans!" James ran to catch up with them. "Hey, Evans!"
Lily and Alice stopped and turned. "What?" she said.
"Will you go out with me?"
James smiled suavely, and flipped his dark hair. He winked at Sirius, who had come to stand next to him. Lily turned to look at Alice, who grinned.
"Let's see, Alice, should I go out with James Potter, seeker for the Quidditch team, hunk of spunk?"
Alice giggled. Lily continued. "Who could refuse? Look at those eyes, the hair, why, his whole body just screams out to me . . ."
James stepped closer. Lily's lips smiled . . .
"The muscles in his arms, those glasses . . . Now, should I go out with you?"
James took another step. His breath came sharply, and his heart felt like it was thumping against his ribs. The crowd watching held their breath. Lily's lips almost met his, her eyes closed . . . .
"Ummmmm . . . ."
"James, Sirius, hurry up!"
James's head turned to see Remus Lupin hurrying towards them. Lily stepped back.
"Well, I guess you missed your chance, Potter. I suppose it just wasn't . . . meant to be." Lily laughed. "Come on Alice, we'll be late. See you round, James, Sirius."
And with that, Lily and Alice walked off to class. James turned his whole body to meet Remus . . .
"What the HELL were you thinking? Did you SEE how close I got to kissing Evans??" He sighed. "Merlin, that girl makes me crazy!"
Sirius laughed at the perplexed look on Remus's face. "I don't think he did, Prongs. Oh, well, I'm sure you'll get another chance. After all, what is it you keep telling me? Oh, yeah, you're . . ."
Remus chimed in. " . . . Meant to be."
James rolled his eyes. "Thanks Padfoot, thanks a bunch. What's so important that you broke us up for, anyway Moony?"
Remus started to walk back towards their classroom. "Well, only that you two are about to be VERY late to Potions, and we all know what that means."
The three Marauders sighed collectively. "Detention with Slughorn."
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. . . . But back to Bellatrix. Right as Lily was seducing her dark haired lover, Bellatrix was trying to take some deep, calming breaths in an attempt to make her heart stop beating so goddamn fast. She was very late, very, VERY late. And she was trying to calm herself while pacing angrily in front of a certain seventh floor corridor, where a certain Room was hidden. And in this certain Room was (she hoped) the portkey to her own dear and beloved.
Just as she was about to give up hope and return to class, a door appeared in the wall. Smiling victoriously, Bellatrix opened the door and stepped through, after first making sure she was the only one in the hall. It wouldn't do for some busybody like Lucius Malfoy or that freak of nature Lestrange to find her here. Assured she was alone, Bellatrix closed the door behind her.
In front of here, the Room loomed large and tall, and in the very centre sat a black box. Upon the black box was a single candle. Bellatrix laughed. It was just as he said it would be. She walked towards the box and picked up the candle. Feeling that jerking feeling beneath her nose, she found herself being picked up and swirling away from the Castle . . .
When she stopped swirling, Bellatrix realised she was standing outside a cave, high in the mountains.
"Albania," she whispered to herself.
Taking a deep breath to calm herself (and placing the candle in the pocket of the robes she was wearing . . . it just wouldn't do to get here only to find that she couldn't get back!), Bellatrix stepped forwards into the cave, and strode carefully towards the back.
"Bellatrix . . ." a haunting voice called to her. "Bellatrix . . ."
The haunting voice stopped, and a much firmer one broke through the air. "You're late."
Bellatrix paused, just long enough for the voice to call again through the mist. "I SAID, you're late."
Getting a grip on herself, Bellatrix walked forward, where she came face to face with a large room. In the centre, stood a large throne-like chair, upon which was draped many furs and blankets. The chair turned, revealing a man . . .
"Explain yourself, Bellatrix. Why are you late?"
Bellatrix stumbled forwards until she was a few feet away. "Good Morning, Voldemort."
Lord Voldemort hissed. "You dare address me so informally?"
Bellatrix smiled hesitatingly. "Of course not, my Lord. Forgive me. And forgive my lateness, I was, somewhat delayed by the hassles of my youth. It will not happen again."
"It better not, Bellatrix. Now tell me, what have you learnt about the blood traitor to tell me this week? Maybe I shall let you keep a finger, this time . . ."
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James, Sirius and Remus stumbled through the door to the Potions dungeon. Professor Slughorn looked up from Lily's potion (which was simmering quite nicely, thank you very much!) and frowned as the Marauders took their seats.
"Late again, boys?" Slughorn sighed. "We'll never make good potion masters out of you. Now, if you could just take a leaf out of Miss Evans's book . . ."
Sirius turned to James and winked seductively, fluttering his eyelashes. James punched him. Slughorn, having turned to look at Lily and her slightly pinkish potion, turned his full attention back to the boys.
"Violence as well, Mr Black, Mr Potter? Tut tut tut, that will never do, never at all. I think we shall have to spend some time together tonight, to discuss the ramifications of your actions in full. Yes, I think a detention will do quite nicely."
He turned back to his desk, and wrote their names on a piece of parchment. Remus glared at Sirius and James, who shrugged helplessly.
"But, Sir!" Remus protested.
"No, Mr Lupin, you too were late, and prefect or not, you will see me in detention tonight. I'll expect the three of you at 8 o'clock, and not a second after."
Lily smiled to herself. Remus caught her eye, and she shrugged apologetically. After all, it wasn't his fault that they were late, he had been going to get them. And she and Alice had only just stumbled through the door in time, it was lucky that Slughorn liked the girls, or they would have scored a detention too. She shuddered. Ick, detention with Potter and his Pals. Thrilling.
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After Potions, where James and Sirius had sat and scribbled a game of hang man on a piece of parchment, and where Remus had hurriedly tried to make his potion with some success, earning him a reprieve of his detention ("Excellent turn around, Mr Lupin," Slughorn had said, smiling broadly, "I think maybe we can cancel your detention tonight."), the three boys walked up to the Gryffindor common room. Remus pulled out his Transfiguration homework, and Sirius and James sat and played exploding snap.
James had just been caught by a very BIG explosion when the common room door swung open and Lily and Alice walked in. The girls giggled when they walked past James, still smoking, who stood up in attempt to follow them.
"Evans! Wait up!"
Lily turned on her heel. "What do you want, Potter?"
"Well, Lilyflower . . ."
"Don't call me that!"
"Ok, Petal . . ."
"OR THAT!"
"Ok, LILY . . ."
"That's better." Lily sighed.
"Anyway, Lily, I was just wondering if we could start again where we got interrupted by Remus over there."
James jerked his finger over at Remus, who looked up and rolled his eyes.
"So sorry to have interrupted your 'special moment', James," he said, and went back to his homework.
"So, anyway, what do you think?"
"Well, I don't think so, James. You see, you just got lucky before, and besides, why would I want to kiss someone I don't even like? Answer me that."
James actually looked hurt, and Lily felt a slight tug at her heart. She sighed inside; in for a Knut, in for a Galleon, she thought.
"Sorry, Potter."
Lily turned and walked up the stairs to the girls' dorm, with a surprised Alice in tow. James turned to Sirius, who grinned at him.
"Oooh, burn, Prongs man, BURN!"
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Lily walked into her dorm and threw her books and bag onto the floor, before sinking into a comfy chair by the window. She sighed and stared out, down onto the lake in the distance. Alice flopped onto her bed.
"Is something the matter, Lily? You seemed a little, well, harsh to James back in the common room."
"No, I didn't. He deserved what he got, the arrogant little whatsit." She shook her head.
"You know what, Lily? I think you liiiike him. Lily likes James, Lily likes James!" Alice jumped up off her bed and danced around the room.
Lily grabbed a pillow off the chair and threw it at Alice, narrowly avoiding her head.
"Hey!!! That nearly hit me!!"
"Well, serves you right for even suggesting something as impossible as me liking Potter! And besides, I didn't even bat an eyelid when you started liking FRANK LONGBOTTOM! Which, by the way, you haven't even done anything about!"
Alice squealed and threw the pillow back at Lily. "I so DON'T like Frank!! And besides, you're just dodging the question." She walked up to Lily and looked her straight in the eye. "Lils, do you like James Potter?"
Lily maintained the eye contact for the briefest of seconds and then looked away.
"I don't know."
Alice squealed again. "I knew it!! I knew it!! Oh, Frank SOOOO owes me 5 galleons!"
She danced around the room with delight until Lily grabbed her and pulled her onto the floor. The girls wrestled for the briefest of moments until both of them dropped, rolling with laughter on the floor. A full five minutes passed before either of them had any control again, and when Lily looked again at her watch, she jumped up and straightened out her hair.
"Oh my gosh, I'm going to be so late for my date!" Lily made inverted commas with her fingers around the word date (which Alice missed . . .).
Alice stopped in her tracks. "You so never told me you had a date!!! Who with??"
"With you, you goose! Didn't you see the finger commas?? We're going to dinner, remember?"
Alice stared at her for a split second and then the two girls burst into laughter again. Still giggling, Alice walked into the bathroom, leaving Lily alone for a second with her thoughts.
Did she like James Potter? No, no she couldn't. He was arrogant, a toerag, a horrible subspecies of mankind. And yet, the thought of his soft hair and the understanding eyes underneath his glasses made her stomach do slight flip flops. But that was just hunger, yes, that was it, her stomach was feeling that way because she was hungry! But she shouldn't have treated him like she did, leading him on wasn't right, especially when she definitely did NOT like him. Deciding that she mustn't feel anything at all (and that she must apologise at the first chance she got), Lily and Alice (having returned from the bathroom) walked out of the common room, and down to dinner.
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Bellatrix Black's day was about to get worse. Having spent the entire day in Albania with Lord Voldemort, having her mind totally wiped of all information (but thankfully keeping her fingers in tact), she had just returned to Hogwarts in time for dinner. But she wasn't feeling particularly hungry . . .
FLASHBACK
"Bella, what are you not telling me, what are you leaving out?"
"Nothing, my Lord, nothing at all. You can see for yourself, there is nothing in my mind that you do not already know."
Bellatrix felt that familiar tug at her brain, and the feeling of weight lifted again from her shoulders as Voldemort poured through her memories.
"Lord Voldemort can tell when you are lying, Bella, and yet, I can't seem to find anything I have not already seen. Maybe you are telling the truth . . ."
The tug faded, and the weight that had been so mercifully lifted landed squarely on Bellatrix's shoulders again. She staggered.
"Hmmm . . . maybe I've seen enough for today. That fool Dumbledore will be missing you, my dear, it is time for you to return. Next time, I hope you will have more information for me."
END FLASHBACK
Bellatrix cringed as she walked along the empty seventh floor corridor and down a flight of stairs. The trip back to Hogwarts after having her mind played with was always difficult, and she often found herself being violently ill. But today was not a day for that, thank Merlin. But as she turned into the hallway outside the Slytherin common room, she was met with a scene she did not want to deal with.
"Hey, baby, it's about time you showed your face again. Come over here, and say hello to your sweetheart."
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A/N: Ooooh, cliffie!! And at the end of the first chapter, too! I hope you liked it, hit that little review button down there and tell me what you think! I would also like to note that this chapter is the LONGEST I have ever written for ANY story!!! Go me!! Reviews make me very happy, and a happy Skysong updates faster! Ciao!
NOTE: It has occurred to me that some of you (and sometimes myself too . . .) might think that Lily was being more than a little bitchy today, but don't worry, the reason for that will be revealed all in due course. She doesn't actually mean to be so horrible to James.