Disclaimer: Nope, Lost still isn't mine. But if it was available at a price a graduate student could afford, I'd be all over it.

Authors Note: This is my submission for the 2010 Lost Secret Santa for the wonderful Dr. Giggles! One of the requests was for a happy Charlotte/Dan Christmas story. This will be six chapters total, taking place in the sideways universe. They don't make an appearance in this chapter, it's really just the set up. But they will be the predominant players in the rest of the story. I hope you like it! Merry Christmas!

Introduction

December 19

"Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas"

-Peg Bracken

OOO

"I can't bloody believe you!"

"'Mi, come on, gimme a break! How was I supposed to know they didn't have their big revelation?" Miles whined, shrugging off his black leather jacket and tossing it on the back of a chair. How many minutes had passed since he walked in the door? He was certain it was less than five. Possibly even less than one, knowing how Naomi Dorrit got when somebody pissed her off. And after a long day at the station, where he'd been pulling double shifts since James had moved on and dealing with his surley new partner, Ana Lucia, this was the last thing he needed.

And it wasn't like he'd done anything wrong.

Alright, so maybe he'd screwed this one up ever so slightly. But really, he and Linus had set everything into motion. The plan had been aranged down to the very minute of their first encounter, every small detail accounted for. There should have been no earthly (or purgatorial or heavenly) way those two could blow it.

Then again, it was Daniel and Charlotte they were speaking of. And having had the pleasure of knowing both their real life and their after world selves, this whole fiasco shouldn't have come as a surprise. They were as dense regarding their feeling for each other in this world as they had been in the last.

Across the room, Naoimi scoffed, rolling her eyes as she shook a stilleto heel at him. "How were you supposed to know? How were you supposed to know? Gee, I don't know you stupid wanker. Normally it's a pretty big revelation, realizing your DEAD! Christ, how did I get stuck spending my afterlife with an idiot"

"You fell in love with my dashing good looks? Heroic afterlife career choice? Awesome real life super ghost talking powers?" No sooner were the words out of his mouth than he found himself dodging the black stiletto that had formerly been in his girlfriend-slash-soulmate's hand.

"You. Are. Not. Helping."

"I live to serve," he said with a faux bow.

"I should have chucked you overboard when we were on the Kahana. Would have saved me the trouble of having a bloody crush on you. Now I'm stuck with you for all bloody eternity."

He smirked. Miles couldn't help but love whenever Naomi hinted at her true feelings for him. She loathed admitting she was anything other than a tough girl- in death, just as in real life. But somehow their relationship had thrived since their first encounter, when he pulled her over for over aggressive driving, and subsequently arrested her for assaulting an officer.

Whoever said there was no romance in jail had clearly never met Miles Straume and Naomi Dorrit.

"You could have done that, but then where would you be?" he said over his shoulder, loosening his tie and unbuttoning his dress shirt as he headed for the bedroom and adjoining bath. He needed a good long shower after a day like this.

"Still dead, likely with a more intelligent companion. Now, would you kindly explain how the hell you're going to fix this?"

"Jesus, Naomi, I'll take care of it. It's not like we're on a schedule here." He chucked his dress shirt haphhazardly at the hamper. It missed.

"Actually..." she started, picking the shirt, and wringing it in her hands.

"Son of a bitch," he muttered, stealing his best friend and former partner's catch phrase. "What happened 'Mi?"

"Ben Linus called today."

Flopping backwards nto the bed, he covered his eyes. God he didn't want to ask, didn't want to know. "What did Ol' Bug Eyes want?"

"Illana and Bram had their moment," she replied tersely.

"So?"

"So? So? That means Dan and Charlotte are the only holdouts on moments of revelation."

"Your point?"

Not like Miles had to ask. The sinking pit of dread in his stomach pretty much summed up Naomi's next words.

"The time is set, Miles. That's what Linus called to tell us. There's a time set, and we're crossing over. And if Dan and Charlotte aren't there, that's it. They missed their chance." Lines of worry were set in her face, and Miles could feel the guilt overtaking him. It took a lot to get Naomi worried or upset. Besides, Dan and Charlotte, despite being horribly screwed up and slightly mental, were the two people he could depend on during their time on Craphole Island. They had his back, more than once. He couldn't just abandon them here.

Damn, he'd really screwed it up this time.

"Shiiiiit... how long do I have?"

"Til Christmas."

He sat up quickly, his back aching from the sudden movement. "Shit, Naomi, that gives me five days. Dan's still pining for Theresa, and Charlotte's convinced she's future spinster material. How the hell am I going to make them fall in love, much less regain memories of their past life in five friggen days?"

"Perhaps by getting up off your bloody ass and finding them? Because for some God awful reason, when I move on to whatever comes next, I'd prefer to have you and your incredibly dense self accomapnying me. And that's not gonna happen if you don't fix this." Naomi turned on her heel, heading for the blue tiled bathroom. Closing the door, she turned to stare him down. "Well, move!"

Grabbing a clean t-shirt and his jacket, he headed for the door, for once in his life following Naomi's advice.

How the hell am I gonna get myself out of this one?

Well I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. Reviews and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated. Next chapter will hopefully be up tomorrow! Happy Christmas!