A/N: The rain makes me so…deep.

*italics=flashbacks

The blonde boy pushed a stray hair back in place as he made his way across the field covered in rows of tombstones. He knew exactly where to find him. When he reached the tombstone, he kneeled down and dusted off the dirt revealing a name. Diamond.

The boy choked up whenever he visited him. A single tear ran down his face and dripped onto the tombstone. He placed the bouquet of roses, each a different color, on the brunette's grave.

"I brought these for you Jamie, they each mean something different." Kendall picked up a thorn less rose, his green eyes full of sadness as he examined it. "A thorn less rose, it represents love at first sight." The blonde boy set the rose down upon the grave and let out a shaky breath. "I remember the first time I saw you…you smiled at me and it seemed like nothing could make me happier than you…I had to have you."

The boy blinked as a few more tears escaped his eyes. He selected another flower and twirled it around it in his hand. "A white rose. It represents so many things. Purity, innocence…heaven." Kendall wiped some more tears from his eyes, and picked up a few more flowers. "Yellow with a red tip. It represents our relationship pretty much. Our friendship and falling in love. Yellow. It represents remembrance. James Diamond, I will remember you forever."

His green eyes were completely blurred with tears. The blonde sat down on the grass in front of the tombstone and tried to control himself. He sniffled and continued by picking up another flower. "Pink. Perfect happiness…that's all I had when you were around. I can't remember a day with you that I wasn't happy...Black." The boy let out a breath. "It…means…death and farewell. I had to let go sometime…I just wish it didn't have to be this soon." The boy let out what he had been holding in. A flood of tears escaped his eyes, and sounds of pain escaped his mouth. "I have one last rose for you J-Jamie. A red rose. It means I love you. I love you so much, it's unimaginable."

Kendall neatly put the roses across the tombstone. "James, it's been hard this past week. Everything is different without you. Carlos and Logan have been so tense about everything. As much as they try to fake that they are okay…well I know they're not. They proved it to me the other day…They…they broke up." Kendall gulped and looked down at his glove covered hands. "All they've been doing is yelling, and they think that I haven't noticed their behavior. Logan…he hurts Carlos." Kendall played with a stray piece of grass and watched as an ant walked across his boyfriend's tombstone. "I hear Carlos crying in his room…all the time. Logan doesn't realize the pain he causes him. And yesterday…Carlos left the apartment…and he hasn't come back James. I'm worried." A light wind tousled the blonde's hair and sent shivers throughout his body. "James, do you remember when we went to the carnival that one day, and you told me you loved me…" Kendall smiled remembering the day himself. "It was on the Ferris wheel, when I got cotton candy in your hair."

"We are gonna have so much f-u-u-un at the carnivaaaaal!" James said in a sing song voice as he and his three friends pulled into the parking lot of the carnival. Kendall chuckled at his friend and looked out the window at the bright lights twinkling on the Ferris wheel. He couldn't wait to ride it with the pretty boy. James was known to be afraid of heights and he would surely look for comfort from the blonde boy. As Logan parked the car, Carlos and James flew out of it and jumped around happily.

Kendall smiled and Logan chuckled. They looked at each other and Kendall spoke. "You take Carlos; I'll take the pretty boy."

"Mhm. Go get your man." Logan mumbled to Kendall who blushed and playfully punched Logan's arm.

"Kendall! Kendall! C'mon, man. Let's go on the Ferris wheel!" James with a big excited smile on his face.

Kendall returned the smile and caught up to his pretty friend.

As they walked by all the other attractions and snack booths, Kendall caught sight of a cotton candy stand. Kendall was known for loving cotton candy, and his eyes widened in happiness when he saw it.

"James! Cotton candy!" Kendall said smiling.

James chuckled. "Here, I'll buy you some."

Kendall blushed and stuttered. "Nah, nah James it's okay I can buy—"

"No Kendall, I insist."Kendall smiled and James pulled him towards the cotton candy stand.

James smiled at the lady behind the stand. "Can I get one cotton candy please?" She smiled.

"Of course, what color?"

"Pink." James said with a mischievous smile on his face. James paid the lady and gave Kendall his cotton candy.

They then proceeded to the Ferris wheel and waited in the line, which wasn't too long. James pulled out his lucky comb and combed through his luscious locks of hair. "Why do you do that so much?" Kendall asked smirking.

James turned to him confused. "I have to look great! I don't want my hair looking any less than perfect."

"But you already look great." Kendall accidently blurted out. He blushed, and hoped James wouldn't notice. James didn't seem to take the comment in a bad way, and smiled.

"Thanks bud."

Soon, the line moved and the two boys were seated on the Ferris wheel. "You scared?" Kendall asked the brunette shivering next to him.

"Pshh no!" James gulped and looked in the opposite direction of the blonde as the wheel started to move. He was scared, but he didn't want Kendall to think he was a scaredy cat. He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Kendall smiling at him.

He smiled back, forgetting everything and getting lost in those emerald orbs. But James realized when they reached the top, because of course the Ferris wheel had to get stuck. A voice came on the intercom.

*We are experiencing some technical difficulties, but there is no need to worry.*

James took a deep breath as he began to get nervous. "Kendall, please don't make fun of me, but I'm seriously scared." Kendall looked at the boy he loved and saw the nervousness in his eyes.

"I would never make fun of you." He smiled genuinely and rubbed the boy's back. Suddenly an idea popped into the boy's head. "Want me to distract you?"

"How?" James asked, still nervous. Kendall pulled off a chunk of his cotton candy and stuck it in James' hair. James' eyes widened in horror. "Kendall!" James tried to get Kendall back and ended up having a slap fight with him. The cart shook, causing James to freeze, as he was scared.

Instinctively, he hugged Kendall for protection and blushed when he realized how close their noses were. "Sorry Kendall." James started to pull back when Kendall grabbed a hold of his wrist.

"No, James it's okay. You're scared, and I don't mind."

James blushed. "Thanks Kendall."

Kendall smiled and rubbed the pretty boy's back, and smiled when he heard a satisfied sigh from James. "James?"

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry for putting cotton candy in your hair. I was just trying to distract you, I should've known not to and—"

Kendall was cut off by the brunette kissing him passionately. He then broke the kiss and looked deep into Kendall's green eyes. "It's okay. Kendall, I love you."

Kendall breathlessly asked, "Really?" His heart fluttered. He felt like thousands of butterflies had been released in his stomach.

James didn't break eye contact with the blonde. "Yes, really." He now looked down and nervously licked his lips.

Kendall went in for a surprise kiss and James eyes widened. Finally, the hazel eyed boy gave in and kissed Kendall back.

When their second kiss broke, Kendall spoke. "I love you too James. I never had the heart to tell you…will you be my boyfriend?"

James blushed and nodded feverishly. "Yes, yes, yes!" They then shared their third kiss, which this time wasn't a surprise.

Kendall Knight put his head between his knees and cried his heart out. That day at the carnival, he never thought that one day he would be at the cemetery visiting James. He thought that he would grow old with James and have a family. He thought he would have a future with James.

The blonde lifted his head and looked at the tombstone mocking him. Well, at least James was resting in peace.

A/N: Well, I was gonna make this a one-shot, but I kinda wanna do a storyline on how James died and what's going on with Carlos and Logan. So you guys let me know. :) This was kind of sad to write, but I hope you guys enjoy it. PLEASE…

REVIEW, VOTE ON POLL, AND PM ME FOR MY TUMBLR.

Big Time Rush: On the twelfth day of Christmas, Snoop gave to me:

Kendall: 12 ringside tickets...

Logan: 11 books on physics...

Carlos: 10 juicy corndogs...

James: 9 lucky combs...

Kendall: 8 wooly beanies...

Logan: 7 sweater vests...

Carlos: 6 hockey helmets...

Snoop Dogg: 5 municipal bonds with a compound interest rate 3% acruity monthly.

(The song stops as the boys look at Snoop confused.)

Snoop Dogg: What? You gotta make your money work for you.

(The boys understand and the song resumes.)

Big Time Rush: 4 comfy PJs...

Snoop Dogg: 3 canned hams, 2 fractured femurs...

(Gustavo, Kelly, Griffin are listening to the song.)

Big Time Rush: And a song for the Christmas EP.

Big Time and Snoop Dogg: And a song for the Christmas EP.