Disclaimer: I can claim ownership of none of this, unfortunately.
Sickbay was always an interesting place. The amount of strange injuries that could happen on one starship continued to astound the medical staff. The CMO tended to be the most vocal about it, badgering everyone who came in that had some problem caused only by their own moronic antics. After each patient left, they patently grumbled about the fact that he should be grateful for them breaking up the monotony of his day. The doctor in question, however, would rather be on the bridge pestering a certain pointed-eared hobgoblin.
Our favorite CMO was at this moment staring at a red-shirted ensign with an incredulous look on his face. The security man's visage was the same color as aforementioned uniform. "You have what where?" spluttered McCoy at the still standing male. The ensign looked around the room again before focusing on the doctor's left shoe and mumbling something again. "Speak up, son!" bellowed the frustrated medical professional. Ensign Smithers continued to mutter, but this time the word "stylus" was comprehensible, and there were sufficient hand motions for the doctor to finally understand.
McCoy's face assumed a sort of pinched manner in an effort to repress laughter and retain a professional façade. "Well, I get why you weren't willin' to sit down," McCoy forced out, with only a slight quaver of his voice displaying his amusement. The ensign nodded weakly. The doctor couldn't find words to berate the fellow for his affliction without causing himself embarrassment. Instead, he simply went about the business of removing the offending object. That in itself was humiliating enough.
That night at dinner, Captain Kirk turned to his friend. "So Bones, anybody come to Sickbay with something funny? You know you want to complain about it," he goaded. McCoy froze for a moment before replying.
"No thanks, Jim. It was em-bare-ass-ing enough the first time through!" he declared as a slow smile spread across his face, belaying his apparent reluctance to discuss the incident.
"Highly illogical," commented Spock, an eyebrow raised rather high. McCoy simply smiled wider. The whole table looked confused. For once, the Vulcan wasn't the only one who didn't get the joke.