By: caroline Jones
Date Completed: 8th of february, 2017
Word Count: 4,692
"A Line a Day"
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HETALIA, THOUGH I WISH I DID!
Mathieu Williams walked into his local coffee shop. The air, which if you have ever been in one know, smelled like freshly brewed coffee and pastries, a smile slid onto the Canadian's pale face. He tucked his bob length wavy dirty blonde hair behind his ear, as a singular curl was in his face. Matthieu strode into line to get his daily cup of coffee.
Gilbert Beilschmidt, a new a barista was standing behind the register when Mathieu walked up to order. Violet eyes met the albino's.
"Hello, a medium black coffee, please," the Violet eyed man said never breaking eye contact.
"Of course, that will be $1.57, and the name is?" Gilbert asked.
"Mathieu."
"ONE MED BLACK FOR MATTHEW!" Gil called back to a Frenchman, who looked liked very similar to Mathieu. Another man, with golden hair and a name tag that said, "Arthur, manager" took over as cashier as Gilbert went to help with orders.
Three 'men' conferred as they seemed to converse over the names on the coffee cups. The albino seemed to turn a little red after something a Spaniard had whispered into his ear. A few minutes later Mattie hears his name called for his coffee by Arthur, who seems to move around a lot in this job, Kirkland. He thanks him. After taking a sip, Mattie discovers a message on the side of his cup, "Are you Google? Because you might be what I'm searching for ;) -Gilbert." Pink began to dust Mattie's checks, he quickly left, but not before waving to those four behind the counter. The door chimed behind him.
"Did you see him blush, mon ami?" Francis inquired to his friend, Gilbert.
"Of course, the awesome me saw him blush from mien message," Gilbert smirked.
"Can you two get to work! I think I am the only one who does anything around here!" Arthur scolded the older two, who acted much younger. "Though, good work on the pick up line Beilschmidt." Gilbert smiled, and wondered when the blonde would be back.
Alfred Jones, Mattie's half brother, was playing video games when his brother came home from the coffee shop down the street.
"Hey bro!" the energetic nineteen year old said pausing his game. "Did anything exciting happen while you got your coffee?"
"Not much. You win your game?"
"Hell yeah! It was great, wish you could have seen it!" a proud smile came across Al's youthful American face. "See any cute guys?"
"Al! But yes, yes I did, his name is Gilbert," coy smirks made it's way onto both of their faces.
"Well, I will just have to meet this Gilbert and see if he is good enough for my little brother, like a hero should!" Alfred and his hero complex, it never leaves.
"Al, I am older than you," a sigh escaped the elder brother.
"Oh, I keep forgetting!" Al laughed carelessly at his mistake.
The next day came both slowly and fast. It felt like forever for Gilbert and no time at all for our main character, Mathieu. For the latter the next day was very much like the previous, except his brother was getting coffee as well. We have not discussed our young Barista much, and well, his characterization is very important to this story, along with his co-workers/friends.
Gilbert Beilschmidt woke up that Tuesday morning after his stupid ass alarm rang like hell into his ear. This led to the usual cursing out of the little clock, before Gil began to get ready. He dressed in his usual black for the coffee shop and after finishing up was out the door by 4:59 AM. The car ride from Gilbert's house to work was longer than it really should have been. He had to pick up his two besties, Francis "I cannot keep my hands to myself" Bonnefoy and Antonio "I am so whipped for that Italian across the street" Fernandez Carriedo.
"So amigo, are you still hoping that blonde comes in today?" Antonio said sliding into the car.
"Are you still hoping that Italian hooks up with you?" Gilbert shot back.
"Okay, okay! Why don't you just drive your carro to Francis' casa," The Spaniard put his hands up surrendering to the German.
"Ja!"
The car's radio suddenly blared, "Breaking news! You're gay!"
"GILBERT! THE CAR RADIO SPOKE TO US," happy, sweet, Tonio, who was probably half asleep when he said this yelled into Gil's ear as they pulled into Francis' driveway.
"Bonjour Imbeciles," this was a customary greeting from the still half-drunk Frenchman. The trio, self named the 'Bad Touch Trio', then drove to the shop, where Arthur "I wish I was still sleeping and not with these Idiots" Kirkland was waiting for them.
"Morning, I see you finally decided to show up," a familiar glare from the Englishman made its way to the three.
"I guess someone did not have their tea this morning," Francis teased the short man.
"I see someone is still half drunk, now would you politely fuck off," quite a usual statement from Arthur "I have a piece of coal shoved so far up my ass; it's probably a diamond by now" Kirkland.
"Don't you have a brother to call, it's Australia Day," Gilbert, Gilbert, how the hell he knew this surprised all of them, even the albino, himself. This however took Artie back a little bit, and he promptly left to call his younger brother, Christian Kirkland. He had legally changed his name to Jett, but Arthur was stubborn and called him by the name he was Baptized/Christened with. This had led to several arguments between them, but the brothers seemed on better terms since the younger had moved to Australia. So they had a mutual agreement to call each other on their birthdays at least, and Jett's was on Australia Day, January 26. Arthur's was on St. George's Day, April 23. Back to the story…
Time quickly passed and soon Mattie and Alfred were coming in to get their coffees. It was very obvious they were brothers, they looked like twins. The Bad Touch Trio and their honorary member, Arthur, began to discuss new pick up lines for Mattie's cup.
"Like you last name, can I have it," Antonio suggested.
"I don't know his last name though!" Gilbert told his friend.
"Um. 'May I have your picture? I want to show- no that won't work, it's January. 'Know what's on the menu, me-n-u," Arthur contributed.
"That one's not bad, shorty," Gilbert then ducked from the impending slap, but got kneed anyway. "AND THAT FOLKS IS WHY RULE #87, 'No short jokes, unless you're tall enough to go get slapped. We have all attempted and failed.' EXISTS. THE FIRST PERSON TO NOT GET HIT WINS A FREE LARGE LATTE! FOR MORE INFORMATION, PLEASE SEE THE 'RULES OF DATING ARTIE (aka OUR HONORARY MEMBER, EVEN IF HE IS MAD AT US ALL THE TIME)'," This was stated for the whole cafe to hear. Yes, there was a list of Rules on things Arthur does/has done. It hangs on the wall, a little too high for Artie to take down. Yes, it has at least 87 rules. They will appear later on.
"On a scale from one to America, how free are you tonight? Maybe you should use this one," Francis leaned in and said, whilst making a cappuccino.
"How about you stop interrupting MIEN CREATIVE PROCESS!" Gilbert shouted at the overly invested co-workers.
"Does anyone here do any work, besides me!" Arthur seemed to be saying to some supernatural being that never heard him.
"Non"
"No"
"Nein," all three idiots said together, how charming.
"One med. Coffee for Matthew and a large Vanilla Frap for Al" Artie told the three from behind the register.
"GOT IT!" Gilbert had finally decided on a pickup line for today. Arthur had moved to handing the drinks and Francis was behind the cashier. Scary, because dear Franny was close to being fired for giving free drinks to cute girls and guys.
"ONE MEDIUM COFFEE FOR MATTHIEU AND LARGE VANILLA FRAPPUCCINO FOR ALFRED!" Arthur called out.
Mathieu grabbed both drinks. He looked to take a sip from his black coffee, when he say another pickup line on the side of his cup. Blood rushed onto the Canadian's face, just like the day before, except today he was not able to leave so fast. Alfred was with him, and well, he was enjoying watching his half-brother blush over something on his coffee cup. Alfred smirked while taking a sip of his frappuccino. Al is such a basic white girl, and I mean a 12 year old basic white girl.
"Another pick up line, Matt?" Alfred asked, still smirking, but his eyes just looked happy for his brother. Truly, Alfred Jones, is a confusing creature.
"Yes, actually, Ally?" Mattie responded, using a nickname he knew Alfred disliked.
"Well, what was it!" A smile formed to match the look in his sky, I mean, eyes.
" Today it was, 'I hope you know CPR because you take my breath away' -Gilbert," A blush came upon him once more, causing Alfred to laugh at his slightly older brother.
"Dang, do you mind if I use that, Mattie!"
"Yes, I do," a frown came on the younger's face, "I'm only kidding Al, I don't care. Go for it."
"I might need to seduce that cute guy at the register, Arthur," the American winked.
"Alfred Jones, I swear to God. If you are that interested, they have a sheet over there on Dating Artie. Go read all 96 if you want to," Mattie encouraged his bro.
"IT'S 104 RULES NOW! WE HAD AN INCIDENT EARLIER THIS WEEK!" Antonio yelled across the cafe. "BUENA SUERTE AMIGO!"
So, Alfred did just that. The list definitely had 104 Items on it. It hung just high enough where Arthur couldn't take it down. Some of the rules were typed and others handwritten in French, German, Spanish, and English. Mostly English, and Alfred, though a big Science Jock (read:NERD!) was able to understand all four languages. He was a genius with an IQ of 206. Yeah, he is a BIG NERD, a cute one though. He acts like a true idiot, it is adorable when he finally acts like what he really is. Mattie was amazed when the family found out about Al's intelligence. Al is the Genius of Geniuses, his IQ is UNMEASURABLE GENIUS.
The list had many really strange things, that might only happen once and others everyday. After about two minutes, probably memorising the list, Alfred walked back to the table where Mattie was waiting.
"Um, Numbers 9 and 13, should we be worried about both Francis and Gilbert?" Alfred said with true concern in his sky blue eyes.
"Al, some of us aren't smarter than Nasa's whole team combined, what's number 9 and 13." God, Genius brothers, sometimes, don't ya know!
"Number 9 is; Don't pull his chair from under him, you can and will get dropkicked. Gilbert did and well, something has been off ever since. And 13 is; Do not go in for a kiss when he's not expecting it. Francis tried once, and hasn't been the same since. RIP. Yeah, um, is this the same Gilbert?" Alfred recited from memory.
"YES," Antonio, Francis, Gilbert, AND Arthur yelled from the other side of the room.
"THANKS DUDES!"
"NO PROB MAN!" Gilbert quickly responded.
I know, this is one crazy coffee shop. We are very sure that most of the people there were there because it was like this. It was very entertaining, much more than the morning news. Matt and Ally soon left the shop, saying goodbye to the three idiots and Arthur "I still think I am the only one who really works here" Kirkland, and went to the skating rink.
The skating rink, the bain of my total existence, just kidding. Seriously, the brothers were there because Mattie wanted to practice, without being on the ice, and he wanted Al to come with him. Alfred was very against it, but had to go in the end. 19 years old, a Genius, and Alfred Foster Jones, cannot roller skate for the life of him.
"NO Al, forget about walking!" Mathie was getting frustrated trying to teach Alfred to roller skate.
"HOW DO I FORGET 19 YEARS OF MY LIFE," Alfred was getting frustrated as well, they had been at this for over two hours. Thankfully the staff was kind.
"Move your feet sideways," a calming nature settled back into the elder.
"Okay, JESUS CHRIST" Alfred was almost there, but fell in a jazz split, really hard, well less than usual, but still pretty hard.
"Al, come on. Aren't you a Fucking Unmeasurable Genius!"
"Yeah…"
"Well then, get to skating ya big nerd!" This lit a spark of determination in Alfred Jones. He was then determined to figure out this sport, no matter how long it took.
Turns out it took two more hours for Al to figure out roller skating. His face lit up like a Christmas Tree, he was so happy. It is a beautiful thing to watch that light bulb moment and when it hit young Ally, is was enchanting. He starting laughing and Mathieu joined in and soon they were leaving the rink smiling all the way.
Antonio Fernandez Carriedo was a proud gay man, like his fellow co-workers. He lived in Spain for the majority of his life, but had met Francis and Gilbert at university in England. Antonio had been kicked out by his family at sixteen, reason he was gay. The young Spaniard had provided for himself ever since. He almost had to drop out of school to continue surviving. However despite all of this, Antonio is the happiest person in this story, maybe next to mattie, but I think 'Tonio is happier.
Lovino Vargas, another gay man, who worked across the street at the Italian Restaurant. He lived with his brother, Feliciano at their Grandfather's home. Antonio is in love with the Italian. Lovi is a little more subdued, but cursing was his form of both endearment and dislike. It took a careful eye to tell the difference.
"Are you staring at the Italian kid again?" Gilbert sighed.
"He's in love mon ami, it does strange things to him," Francis "I am the matchmaker and master of romance" Bonnefoy told Gilbert "I am confused, what the fuck is Franny saying" Beilschmidt. "Arthur and You will understand soon, Gil."
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN FROG!" Arthur screeched like a banshee. "YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT MY LOVE LIFE!"
"On the contrary, we know 104 things about your life in general and most are on romance. There is much more, but some things are better private, non?," Franny casually said and smiled, as though he did not sound like a stalker the FBI should be worried about.
"Hasn't that kid called you a bastard no less than fifteen times?" Gilbert continued his conversation with Antonio.
"Yes, but that's his form of endearment," he smiled in bliss of thinking of Lovino.
"Ha, some form of endearment!"
Another day, another chance to woo the young Mathieu Williams for Gilbert Beilschmidt. A routine was beginning to form. That would evolve on this third day, but mostly the same. Mattie and Al came in for either a chai tea, black coffee, or a cappuccino. Today it was a chai tea for Al and the usual black coffee for Mathieu.
"One chai tea for," Arthur sighs, and blushes slightly, "my hero and a black coffee for, his poor brother, Mathieu."
"Thanks dude, that's tea-riffic," Alfred made the pun. Francis, Gilbert, and Antonio stopped, and froze. The whole cafe did. Mathieu looked at his brother in horror.
"I cannot espresso you, just how bad that was," Arthur smirked. Silence remained, Arthur Kirkland, Arthur "Why the hell did you make that pun; puns are stupid like you" Kirkland, made A PUN, a PUN!
Equally stunned, but cool on his toes, Alfred responded, "Then I must ask, on a scale from one to America, just how free are you on Friday night?"
"I'm about as free as The United Soviets Socialist Republic under Lockdown by Stalin himself," Arthur's striking emerald eyes, that could steal souls, pierced our young Alfred. Serious shit had just gone down, the BTT looked worried for their possible helper in Pick-Up lines and puns.
"Al, don't you have like some Nasa Calculations or something like that to do at home?" Mathieu knew it was time to GO and FAST.
"OH YEAH! I actually do, opps!"
"This manchild does work for Nasa?" Arthur turned towards Mattie skeptical.
"Yeah, but I think it might be something for whatever degree he's getting right now. I lost track after the third one," the elder brother shrugs. "What are you studying now, Alfred?"
"Um, Masters in Rocket Science! It's not that much harder than the first time around. Oh, and I am finishing up the courses in Japanese, Arabic, and Polish. Yeah, Japanese is so similar to Korean and Chinese dude. Polish, since it was Germanic, so easy. Yep, got to end that sixth degree you know!"
"Mathieu, can you translate from Alfred-ese for these three?" Arthur asked after seeing Gilbert, Antonio, and Francis all turn around gaping at the kid younger than them.
"He's doing advanced Rocket Science and studying three languages after already learning seven, including English. Yeah, this will be the sixth degree apparently." He turned to Al, "You really need to start making a list of all the degrees, Al. I lost track, and so did everyone else."
Mathieu had been drinking his black coffee and just noticed the cheesy pickup line on it.
"Wanna grab some coffee, because I like you a latte," Gilbert smirked as he saw Mattie read the side of the cup.
"Sure, Gilbert, I would enjoy that," a small splash of red hit both of their cheeks.
"That one was my idea. See always let the frenchman, help, mon ami. We speak the language of love, after all," Queen Franny Bonnefuckme of Romance said from next to Antonio.
"SHUT UP, FROG"
"Friday at four, the coffee shop across town on Maple Street?" Gilbert asked Mathieu.
"Sure, see you then Gil!"
And so, the twins left, with the four workers still working, or whatever they do there…
Friday soon came. All six of our characters had exchanged numbers. Mathieu and Gilbert started texting all the time. It was quite adorable, honesty. The other four, formed a group chat devoted to what they dubbed 'PruCan', because Gilbert considered himself Prussian and Mattie's a Canadian. This was mostly made so the four of them could stalk Gil and Mathieu's date from across the street. The plan was completed about ten minutes before they were supposed to met to watch the date. Franny and Ally were going to watch, with code name FrUs as their signal. Arthur was handling the getaway car, if they were spotted, most likely to have to do anything, and his signal was Holmes Away. Tonio would help in whatever way possible, probably bringing the snacks, codename Captain Tomato.
Both groups met, Matt and Gil for their date, and the others to stalk. Tonio immediately was distracted by Lovino at the Italian restaurant and was no help at all. This left it up to Franny, Ally, and Artie. Team FrUs began by spying from the bushes and lip read the conversations from the pair inside. They couldn't get it all but managed.
Mathieu and Gilbert, both knew from the start something like this would happen. Al and Antonio have a problem keeping things a secret. Despite this they continued as if all of this was normal and for Gilbert it mostly was. All we can firmly gather was towards the end of the meeting. Team FrUs did a poor job at getting information.
"So you're a professional Hockey player?" Gilbert asked his date.
"Yes, I play for the Toronto Maple Leaves, Gilbert."
"That's cool, the awesome me, is a master Barista. You told me you make pancakes, Birdie?
"Yes, you should come over and have some. I make them almost everyday, anyway. Just pop on in!" Mattie wrote his address down and stood up to leave. FrUs alerted Holmes Away and drug Capt. Tomato to make a quick getaway. After some (read: laughable) running they left the coffee shop and left with everyone in the car.
"Okay, meetup next week to discuss details?" Arthur asked.
"Sure"
"OK"
"Sounds fine"The three answered.
"Arthur, just give him a chance. The poor boy even took the trouble to bring you tudor roses," Francis begged Arthur to give Alfred a date.
"I'm not ready."
"Try for the boy, Arthur. He cares, if not he wouldn't have followed rule #36 and brought you your favorite flower."
"Fine,"The Englishman begrudgingly agreed and called Alfred.
"Hello, this is Alfred!"
"Hello, it's Arthur, about the roses and card."
"Yes! I hope they were okay, the florist had to help me get the right ones."
"They're beautiful Alfred, and yes, I would love to go to dinner with you tonight."
"That's ok- WAIt! That's awesome Arthur, see you then! Bye!"
"Bye, Alfred."
The week passed and Arthur forgot he had to babysit some of his younger family, Peter Kirkland and his friend/cousin Julia Kirkland, Jett's adopted kid. The date had been Fantastic and so Arthur and Alfred were together, as were Mathieu and Gilbert. For some reason, Arthur, Alfred, Francis, and Antonio decided to meet at the same time of the babysitting and 'helped.' Antonio however did not make it, because he was having his siesta, four full hours a day, you know.
Hours had passed since the trio had arrived to babysit the two Kirklands. Alfred was a dream with kids, being a larger one himself. Francis was okay with them, and seemed to enjoy being with the younger children. He even let Julia braid his shoulder length blonde hair. She was so happy, it even caused Arthur to smile slightly. Grumpy Uncle Arthur does have a heart, surprise! Arthur with kids, this statement might cause some to run in terror. Why Jett let him keep these poor children is beyond me, maybe because he was the only one available, I hope.
It was 9:23PM when the sleep began to set in and more craziness for the children and Alfie, Franny, and Artie. All of them had been up for over 15 hours for different reasons, work, Nasa, etc. Arthur, God dammit, he acts almost as bad tired as drunk, almost. Alfred had found a book with fairies on the front, and somebody was intrigued.
"Is tHaT a fAIRY BOOK?!" Arthur screeched and lunged onto the bean bag Alfred was on.
"Yes?" Alfred replied cautiously.
"rrrREAD IT TO ME!" Arthur might have been a little (A FUCKING LOT) insane.
"Why?" Alfie was slowly leaning away from his boyfriend.
"Coz Fairies are badass!"
"Okay, didn't realise you got like this when you're tired" Alfred stopped the awkward leaning away he had down
"I don't get like anything. You're getting like something. You've been gotten. You're getting. I'm not getting any way. No sir," Arthur 'Fucking Shakespeare' stated slurring his words.
Alfred, Francis, Peter, and Julia looked at the 'adult' like, 'what the actually fuck are you saying?' Franny slowly approached the wild Arthur who had picked up a children's guitar. Artie was trying to play something, but the instrument was terribly off key and he looked confused as hell.
"That's a children's guitar. It's not going to sound good mon ami," Franny told Arthur, who looked mentally insane at this point. Arthur began strumming more intensely.
"It's PUNK ROCK!" and Arthur began headbanging to the horrid children's guitar mucis. Franny looked both constipated and confused. At this point, Alfred seemed a little concerned and asked Peter and Julia.
"Okay, seriously! Peter, Julia, what's going on?!"
"We found Jett's alcohol cabinet and put some bourbon in Arthur's tea." Peter calmly looked at Alfred and said to him like it was an everyday thing.
"WHAT! FRANCIS STOP LAUGHING! IT'S NOT THAT FUNNY!"
"But Alfred, it is so hilarious. MERDE! It kills me everytime!" Franny choke out between laughs.
"Uncle Franny?" Julia asked with big forest green doe eyes.
"Oui fille!"
"Can you help Peter and I with something," big puppy eyes met Franny's. He cracked.
"Of course, dear," Francis was led off by the two children into the next room.
After ten minutes of Arthur and Alfred discussing Bo Burnham and his wonderful comedy, Julia arrived to take them to the playroom for whatever they had planned. It was a small production, and the two children were giddy as ever. It began and Alfred and Arthur watched as Peter acted as a knight, Julia a damsel in distress, and Francis as a beautiful/handsome dragon (It didn't have a gender). It was half way through when Alfred made a small comment to Arthur.
"Did he just smack him in the balls?" Alfred whispered to Arthur about Peter almost hitting Franny in the balls.
"No, but I wish he had."
A few more minutes passed, and Arthur was even worse, being a little more tired than before. He deadpanned.
"Let me guess. It's going to smack him in the nuts, and it's going to be reeeally funny," If 2:56 AM was personified, it was Arthur in that very moment, as Francis was smacked in the nuts by Julia's foam sword.
A Spiderman balloon showed up in the little play and Arthur made another shitty/hilarious comment.
"Wait, wait! Is Alfred being represented by Spiderman? Because if so, I'll probably be represented by that girl who nobody cares about," And then Arthur slammed his face onto the beanbag he was laying on.
"You mean Gwen Stacy?" Alfred the superhero nerd added.
"Yes, whatever her bloody name is!"
The little thing was over and Alfred and Arthur clapped for them (Artie did flip Francis off when the children were not looking though). The night continued, as did the sleep deprivation. At this point it was 12:30, the kids were asleep, but the trio was waiting for Jett to get back home. Francis was asleep on a bean bag, well mostly asleep. Arthur was almost there in his beanbag, knowing he had work at 5. Alfred was focused on making sure none of them fell asleep and was facing wrath (or they were trying to make him face it, but they were half asleep).
"We should sing Hamilton!" Alfred's latest idea was hatched and quickly shot down as both Franny and Artie screamed into the carpet, the only thing they had ever willingly agreed on.
Arthur, Alfred, Mathieu, and Gilbert were at the park having a picnic together, celebrating five years together, in their respective relationships. Alfred and Gilbert had planned it all and Artie and Mattie were quite impressed at the two slackers for getting anything done. The two idiots exchanged a look and both pulled something from their pockets, a small black box. Their partners exchanged a glance.
"Birdie, I know we have only known each other for five years, but I want that five years to become the rest of my life with the awesome you. So, what I'm trying to say is, will you marry me Mathieu Williams?" Gilbert's eyes looked straight into Mattie's soul. The blonde nodded yes, and Gilbert jumped up to hug him.
"Arthur, you might be a pain in my ass sometimes, but I wish you would kick butt more often. You have been the light of my life and I would like if you could continue in marriage. Will you marry me, Arthur Kirkland?" The nerd cocked his head like a puppy.
"Of course, you bloody prick. Of course I'll marry you!" Arthur kissed his love on the cheek.
"Awe, amor is beautiful, non! I cannot wait until their wedding," Francis said from a nearby tree branch, tears streaming down the frenchman's face.
Le Fin