A/N: This idea is so old I finally had a chance to write it down... well, I do hope so. I'd been rusty on writing Ragna and Rachel, and I do hope I didn't botched them up. This idea came from a friend, and I will be ashamed if I didn't do proper justice on this one.

It's unironically a continuation to one of my most-favorite story, One Big Payback. Heh.

"Why do I have to be stuck in here?!"

Ragna huffed as he crossed his arms, glaring daggers at the room master. The intoxicating smell of roses wafted inside the room. If that wasn't enough to make his stomach flip, the overall interior design of the vampire's room was definitely not his preference. Fancy queen-sized mattress that was comfortable in his butt was probably the only thing he could appreciate. The rest of her belongings, ranging from centuries-old portraits to luxurious decorations that definitely fit her standards, was definitely not for him.

For the reason why he was here, it was thanks to bunny-leech.

Rachel played with her long strands of hair, her playful smirk never leaving her lips, "Is your brain that damaged, Ragna? You made a promise that you will teach me on how to bake a cake. Am I wrong?"

"Oh, that." His anger momentarily dissipated, as he remembered how he was brought here. "Alright, but please don't kidnap me out of nowhere, rabbit!"

Rachel giggled as she headed to the door. "I will prepare the required utensils for us to start our lesson. I will return soon, Ragna." She turned back to look at him, "Be a good boy and do not litter in my room."

"Number one, I'm not a kid, and number two, I'm not a dog!"

Ignoring his outbursts, she gave a small wave and closed the door. Ragna was left alone with various books on her shelf to entertain him. The problem was he wasn't a keen reader, and his active imagination wasn't really as strong as an average being. If he wanted to occupy himself with something, he needed to find it, anything, or be stuck reading a book. It would be better than wasting his time sitting on Rachel's bed.

Screw it. Ragna stood up and scanned her room. Nothing really struck him as something peculiar until his eyes landed back on Rachel's mattress. There was something sticking out on her bed.

"Hm?"

It was weird to see something like this from Rachel. He expected her to be more organized, but he assumed she had better things to do than hiding this one from plain view. Curious and wanted to not rot waiting for her return, he approached the unusual item and dragged it away from the bed.

"What the hell...?" Upon closer inspection, it was no ordinary book. Not a vocabulary, not an educational book, it was a novel. A very strange novel. What was stranger was that there was a ton of them.

All of them had something in common. They were all porn novels. Some of them are actually comics and manga.

Rachel returned from her room and froze from the scene she had witnessed. "Ragna, no!"

In a blink of an eye, Rachel was next to Ragna as she did her best to retrieve the book stash. Ragna, however, wouldn't let her as he held it up out from her reach.

The man scowled at her, "Let me get this straight, Rachel... YOU GOT A PORN STASH?!"

Rachel, knowing she was red as a tomato, assaulted Ragna's stomach to get her belongings back. "I-It's not porn, you dolt!" She let out a deep breath, narrowing her eyes as she stared directly at him, "It's called erotica!"

Ragna dropped the stash as he opened a page to emphasize his point, "If there's fuckin' then its porn, rabbit!"

She quickly retrieved the stash and held it against her chest, "If it disgusts you so much then stop digging through it!"

"But there's just so much…" Ragna flipped more pages of the book, realizing how thick it was. He felt his cheeks getting warm as he delved more, seeing actual sketches of the scenes in between. "Wait, why is there so much?!"

Rachel was unable to answer him instantly. Her arms felt heavy, letting them fall on her side as the stash landed on the floor. She felt her cheeks burn hotter than the sun as she fidget and played with the ribbon attached to her blouse. She felt vulnerable donning something different from her usual attire: the white blouse felt transparent as it was snug fit on her frame, while the accompanied black long skirt wasn't enough to shield her from the heat she was currently experiencing. She nibbled her lip, averting her gaze from the man.

"Well?!" Ragna was no better. His face was steaming from what he was currently reading.

There was a long post before Rachel took a deep breath and composed herself, "...I read for the plot?"

She watched him flip the pages as he was immersed on what he was reading, or seeing. She felt her patience running thin from realizing what had just transpired between them. Ragna had no problem reading her secret erotica novel, let alone actually made fun of her about it. He embarrassed her, sure, but he didn't really mock her about it... which tipped her off in the wrong way.

"You attempt to shame me for my literary choices and then proceed to read them yourself?!"

Ragna only shrugged his arms, "So sue me, I'm curious."

Rachel felt... not ashamed. In fact, she was furious that he managed to rile her up from seeing her secret, and then end it like it was nothing. As she was about to assault Ragna for this scenario, his demeanor changed completely.

"Hey, you know… These leading guys seem kinda, I dunno… familiar?"

Rachel froze. Her blood run cold and her eyes went wide. Oh shit. Barrage of sweat poured down from her temple, and she swallowed the lump of her throat as an attempt to catch her composure.

"Are…" He paused, glanced up at Rachel, then went back on reading the novel, "Are all these guys supposed to be like…me?"

The room was totally silent. Only the sound of breathing and a page flip was made. Ragna was getting a bit worried on her silence.

"…HA! HA! HA!" Rachel cleared her throat and hoarsely laughed like a madman.

Ragna quickly looked up at her, "R-Rachel?!" What the hell was wrong with her?! Did he struck the bulls-eye or something?!

Rachel grinned, her eyes flashed as she pointed her finger towards him, "Boy, did you ever fall for that one Rags!"

"What?!" He was baffled beyond belief.

"What, you really can't tell?" She giggled, proud that her evil scheme was working. "This was all an elaborate ruse designed by none other than I, Terumi, to make you that vampire would keep high scale porn that reminded her of you! And you fell for it hook, line and sinker! Ha! So stupid!"

Ragna narrowed his eyes, "…So let me get this straight: you're not Rachel, you're Terumi, who stashed a bunch of porn in Rachel's room and let me find it so you could, what, embarrass her?"

Rachel paused, pursing her lips to prevent herself from laughing. She grinned as his answer made total sense. "T-That's right! Embarrass her and make you look stupid in the process! Worked like a charm!"

The man took a deep breath as he signaled her to calm down, "…Rachel, come on…"

"How many times do I have to say it before it goes through that thick skull of yours, Rags?" She pointed at herself, high and proud, "I ain't that shitty vampire! I'm Terumi! Terumi!"

Ragna groaned. This was idiotic, so stupid he couldn't believe Rachel stoop this low to protect herself. "…I don't believe this."

"And I'm insulted."

The two whipped their heads on the source of the new voice. They saw a man donned with a classy tux, who was casually leaning against the wall as he cut his fingernails.

"Terumi?!"

Terumi waved his free hand, "Sup."

Ragna rose, quickly going on his battle stance, "Why are you even here?!"

Terumi returned the nail cutter on his pants pocket. He merely shrugged, as he wasn't amused at their shenanigans. "I can sense it when people are doing a bad impression of me. Its within my power."

Rachel gulped. Not only the real Terumi was inside her room, he also managed to get in here unscathed. She let her guard down- no, she had summoned the man himself for badly impersonating as him. But she wouldn't give up so easily. "Y-You're the one doing a bad impression, uh, dipshit!" She glared daggers at him as she pointed a finger towards him. "Who do you think you are?!"

"Wow, just wow." Terumi clapped his hands, sarcastically cheering for her efforts on trying to make him the fake one. "This right here is something." He chuckled as he witnessed her squirm in her place. "Hey, vampire, for future reference, people don't typically hide from embarrassment by embarrassing themselves even more." He smirked. "Though I guess pretending to be me probably isn't as bad as your now not-so-secret fantasy of getting plowed by Rags here going public, eh?"

The door opened revealing Rachel's butler, Valkenhayn.

"Madam Rachel, I worry about the prolonged presence in your room, and please forgive me if I'd rudely barged in your-"

His eyes popped wide as he saw two men that automatically made his blood boil. His carnal instincts kicked in as he prepared himself on who to maul first, the SS Criminal Ragna The Bloodedge, or the sly bastard Terumi Yuuki?

Terumi chuckled, as he casually approached Ragna and held up his hand. "Hey, Rags, how bout that just this one time, you and me team up to shut this geezer down? After that we can get back to shaming the vampire." He winked at him. "Whaddya say? Not every day you got one up over the vampire, am I right?"

It was tempting to decline Terumi's offer, but in his current situation, Ragna was practically outnumbered. If he team up with Terumi just this one, the fight would be even. Besides, he would surely enjoy Rachel's misery from her guilty pleasure of porn about him and her getting it on. With a smirk, he gripped Terumi's hand and shook it.

"Just this once, you bastard. Make sure you do your end of the deal. I'll make sure you'll live today, but I promise you, after this, I will kill you."

"No problemo, Rags. I hereby pledge to torture you until you beg to die from my own two hands."