I decided to blast some Metallica from the digital surround sound stereo. Usually my dad complains it gives him a headache, but he's not around. He won't be around for most of the week actually, he's on an important business trip in Canada. Heck, I'm not complaining.
Sinking back down into my bed feels good. After today the soft sheets are very welcoming and I close my eyes. I regret inviting people over for a party when right now I just want to think and be alone. I'm not even sure who's going to show up. I sit up and lean against the bed head to stare out the window. I can't see the street below, only tree tops and roofs of houses. A breeze sweeps through my messy hair and it feels good. I found it kind of creepy though. There wasn't a sound outside. Not a car driving by or a bird chirping. Not a sound, as if a storm were coming.
At least he shouldn't be coming. Not after what he did. Of course I don't hate him for it, I could never hate him... I just need time. I shouldn't let it bug me, but for some reason it does. There is this gnawing feeling in my stomach that won't go away. How am I suppose to get past this? Maybe things would've been better if I never found him at all...
Three days earlier:
Near by Stark's Pond, long ago forgotten, was a bench. A bench that was rotting away, hidden behind some bushes and being over grown by morning glories. There sitting were two blonde boys. One had a brown cap with shoulder length hair. He was also known to wear the same bow tie and slacks almost everyday. The other boy had short hair sorta spiked up in the middle. He was currently looking downward at his shaking hands.
"P-Pip, you s-sure are looking swell t-today."
Pip blushed, "Butters, I-" Pip was cut off by Butters grabbing him by the waist, wrapping his arms around the British boy tightly into a passionate kiss. Pip in response placed his hands on Butter's cheek and around his neck. Pip was savoring every bit of the way Butter's lip tasted, but then pulled back.
"I'm sorry Pip, you were saying?"
Pip let out a giggle, "I was just going to point out that you were stuttering again."
"O, yea. Well you know I only still do it when I-"
Pip finished his sentence, "Get nervous or scared. Don't tell me your still nervous around me after a month?"
Butters scratched the back of his neck and blushed, "Well, what can I say? You always give me butterflies. Now where were we?"
This time Pip dominated the kiss, leaning in towards were Butters was sitting and then practically in the same spot as him. After what only seemed like a couple of minutes, Pip sharply turned his head looking in the direction behind them.
Butters stared in the same direction mimicking Pip, "What's wrong?"
"I thought I heard something..."
"So?"
"So, what if your parents followed you? Or what if it's someone from school?"
"Relax. Is someone our age really going to be spending their Sunday afternoon at Stark's Pond?"
"Good point, but still-"
"All right, all right. I didn't hear anything, but I'll go check for you. Will that make you happy?"
Pip chuckled, "Very." Butters got up and walk over to the group of bushes behind them.
"See?" Butters called out to Pip, holding up a piece of garbage. "Nothing, but an empty bag of cheesy puffs caught in the wind." Butters walked back and sat down. "And I already told you not to worry about my parents. I can handle them. Things aren't like they used to be. I'm older now."
"I know Butters, but they still have that old habit of treating you like shit and you having to end up listening to them."
Butters placed his arm around Pip's shoulders and looked straight into his turquoise eyes. Pip's eyes always seemed to remind Butters of the fish tank he had in his room. How the light would sparkle off the glass and at the right angle almost blind you.
"Pip I promise you. This is different from them not letting me go to some school dance or staying on the phone past ten. We are different because I love you and if my parents tried to break that, I could emancipate them."
"My! Don't you think that would be awfully extreme?"
"Not if it comes down to not being able to be with you."
"Aw, Butters..." Pip laid down, resting his head on Butters lap and Butters began to stroke Pip's hair.
"I mean, if it comes to that I'd do it. We are sixteen and I can legally 'divorce' my parents if I wanted to."
"I guess your right. It isn't that I care about people knowing, but what they might do."
"That's why we're in this together." Butters beamed down at Pip, leaning in again for yet another kiss.
Cartman was now about forty minutes late and counting. Running as fast as his stubby legs could carry him, which looked a lot like slow paced jogging, he'd be damned if Jew boy would hog the cruis'n USA game and take his place as high scorer. He made it across the street just before the light turned green and entered the arcade. Inside Kyle was already at the wheel and Stan was leaning against the chair watching intently.
"Ah!- too- late..." Cartman bent over to catch his breath.
"You decided to show up after all." Stan said without his eyes leaving the screen.
"YEA! Well I was going to get a ride, but that whore wouldn't give me one! I had to get here by foot and the short cut I took wasn't short and a got very hungry- hey! Are you listening?"
Stan still wasn't budging and not really paying attention to Cartman's excuse. "Uh huh, whores. Well I wasn't complaining for your information. We were hoping you had gotten so fat that you couldn't get out of your house."
"EH! First of all, only I can call my mom a whore! Secondly, you were really hoping to get some alone time with Kyle so you can have his bastard babies!"
Stan finally turned around and smirked. He was so used to Cartman's fag jokes and what he found is that playing along freaks him out enough to shut him up.
"Wrong again fat boy. Not so I can have his babies, just to practice making them. Isn't that right Kyle?" Stan leaned over and blew air in the Jew's face. Kyle batted his friend away with a free hand.
"Stan, not now. Maybe later tonight."
Both boys started to crack up and the horrified look on Cartman's face was priceless.
"Screw you guys I'm-" Cartman stopped himself when he heard the game say 'Checkpoint!' and ran over to look at the screen.
"Wait Kyle! What are you doing?"
"What does it look like? Go away I need concentration to keep in first place."
"You're not beating my high score are you?"
"Hmmm, what do ya know? I think I am. And if I recall correctly, you said Jews couldn't drive for their lives."
"HAND IT OVER KYLE!" Cartman began to push Kyle out of the way, but Stan grabbed Cartman by the back of his shirt and yanked him to ground.
"Ouch." Cartman got back up, but was smart enough to back off.
"I'm going to go look for Kenny and Daniel. You won't get away with this fags!"
"Yea, yea. Why don't you go bother them? I'm sure they're facing off in DDR."
So Cartman left, muttering curses under his breath as he went along.
Daniel's POV
"Had enough?" I glance over at Kenny after I whooped his ass for the second time in a row.
"No way dude. And wow i thought I was the only one good at this game."
"Now that's makes two of us. I warned you I've been improving." It's getting hot, so I take off my long black coat and hang it over the railing.
"Only cause you've learn from the master." Kenny winks at me and then I hear a familiar voice from behind.
"You guys-"
"What now Cartman?" I ask impatiently. I don't know why I feel so on edge when he's around. I guess I just don't want him to get the idea he can fuck around with me like he does the other guys. I want him to know that I don't need to take his crap and so far I think he gets it.
"Fine, forget it. I'll keep to myself what I saw earlier, but your missing out cause it was pretty funny."
"Tell us later Cartman, were busy." Kenny adds.
We turn our attention back to the game. Cartman for once silently watches and after another round clears his throat loudly to regain our attention.
"Yes?" I spin around to face him, Kenny does too.
"Well? Can't I have a turn?"
I look back over at Kenny. He's busy patting down his pockets, probably trying to find where he put his pack of cigarettes.
"No." I tell fat ass. "Piss off. Who the hell invited you anyway?"
Then faintly I hear Kenny mumble, "I did."
Oops... Sometimes I'll forget before me, Kenny had Cartman. Honestly I don't even understand their relationship or can begin to understand it. Cartman is THE worst friend ever. He's always making fun of Kenny for being poor, screwing him over, never really stands up for him. Yet Kenny still tries to include him. I guess it's cause Kenny is such a great guy. Now I feel bad. I feel really stupid, like I've stooped to Cartman's level. What's killing me more is that Cartman isn't saying a come back. I hate when I do that. I say something like that and if Stan and Kyle were here, they'd be laughing. But when it's just Kenny, I end up sounding like a jerk. This is why Cartman probably hates me as much as Stan (whatever his problem is I can care less). It's because Kenny spends most of his time with me now a days. That's what Cartman gets for not appreciating Kenny in my opinion. Even still Kenny makes sure Cartman isn't forgotten, probably because Kenny knows what it's like to be forgotten and replaced. Cartman can't realize the favor Kenny is doing for him though. Being an insecure fat kid, he still feels threatened by me, when there really isn't a reason to be at all.
Before I can open my mouth again, Cartman rushes up the steps and knocks me off the platform.
"Get out of my way hippie!"
I scowl at Kenny and he looks back at me shrugging. "Don't worry. This won't take long."
And he was right. Watching Cartman playing DDR is perhaps the single most funniest event in world history. The poor guy kept stepping on the wrong arrows and missing them completely too.
After that one game Cartman gave up, wiping the sweat from his forehead.
"Weak dude! It's these pants! I can barely move in them!"
"Uh huh. I'm sure it's your pants." I say as I brush past him to reclaim my space.
"Whatever dude, dancing is for pussies. I'll be over here." Cartman made his way toward the old Pac Man machine sitting in the corner.
Daniel's POV
Soon we all got bored and decided to walk a couple of blocks to get some ice cream.
"Daniel, tell the guys about your party idea." Kenny reminded me.
"O right." I put down the spoon I was using to dig into the fudge sunday Kenny and I were sharing. I paid for it since Kenny didn't have any money left on him.
"Well, not really a crazy open house kinda party. I just thought on Tuesday since my dad isn't around we could hang out or if you guys want sleep over."
Cartman stopped stuffing his face for a brief moment, "That sounds gay. Have a crazy party with everyone from school!"
"No, I thought about that. I have a lot of expensive stuff in my house. Besides I don't want the maid telling my dad when he comes back about how she had to clean up someone else's vomit the next morning. Just the guys, it'll be fun."
"Psh, I'm not going."
"Fine, no one is forcing you."
"Fine!"
Kyle smiled, "Great now it's guaranteed to be fun. I'll be there. You coming too Stan? Stan?"
Stan snapped out of some kinda day dream, "Huh?"
"I asked if you were coming. You ok?" Kyle's face washes over with a look of concern.
"Sure, I was just thinking. Uh, I guess I'll go. When did you say it was?"
"Tuesday." I answer.
"That's Wendy and mine's two month anniversary, but..."
Kyle can always tell when something is up with that kid. "What happened Stan?"
Stan stopped playing with his food and glanced at Kyle, then at the rest of us.
"Nothing. It's just that we keep constantly getting to fights about the dumbest things. I told her something she didn't want to hear, she got infuriated and I'm not sure if were even still together anymore."
"Ha, how can you not know if you're broken up?" Cartman spat bits of sprinkles onto the table.
"It's complicated!" Stan glared at the chubby boy, wiping a sprinkle from his face that clearly came from Cartman's mouth.
"Just Ignore him Stan. It'll be a night to forget about the bitch."
"Ok, why not." Stan shrugged and Kyle slapped him on the back.
"Come on. Cheer up now emo kid."
We all laughed at that. Ever since high school started Stan had turned extremely emo, but is in denial every time we bring it up.
"Hey, shut up!"
"What? I said emu." Kyle pulled Stan's blue hat off and messed up his flat black hair.
After several minutes of playing keep away with Stan's hat, everyone but Kenny and I decided to go home. Both Kenny and I had no one waiting for us at home.
I laughed at Kenny's face. "You've got hot fudge all over your face. You look like Cartman."
He smiles,"Hey, I'm really hungry." He pulls off his hood and I reach over with a napkin to wipe his mouth. Not like he's incapable of doing it himself, but for some reason I feel the need take care of him.
"Much better. Are you trying to live up to the poor person stereotype?"
He tries to pat down his yellow rat nest called hair. "Yup, that's my goal in life."
We step outside and start walking. It's getting dark out. I like being alone with Kenny. I could've had the most depressing day ever and him just being there makes me feel better. Well not just feel better. I feel like a better person with him around. Sometimes it bugs the hell out of me. And I can't help but wonder how does he do that? How does he have that kind of power over me? I don't like not having control over those kind of things. I notice Kenny is more quiet than normal so naturally I ask what's on his mind. He keeps walking with his hands in his pockets.
"I'm just going come out and say this ok?"
"Ok." I nod. I'm not sure what he's gonna say that's so horrible that he feels the need to prepare me for it.
"-Cause I need to get this off my chest. I can't keep hiding it, pretending like it's nothing."
Now I really want to know. "Just tell me then."
Kenny takes a deep breathe and seems to be bracing for impact, "Ilikeyou!" and as quick as he said it, grabs me by the shoulders and presses his lips hard against mine.
Next thing I know he's on the floor looking up at me. For a split second I wonder how he got there and I'm about to help him up, but then a tickle of blood slides down from his nose and onto his lips. He doesn't even bother to wipe it away. My right hand is shaking uncontrollably. I look down and it's clenched into a fist, throbbing with pain. I glance back at him and he hasn't moved. He just keeps staring. I don't know what to do. So I run.
I find myself at Raisins. I burst threw the doors and this brunette with highlights and huge boobs greets me.
"Would you like to be seated in a certain place sug?"
"No." I put my hand up, "I'm here to see Veronica."
"O, you mean Porsche?"
"My bad, yea Porsche."
"She's about to go on break I think. You caught her at a good time. I believe she is..." Her eyes scan the crowd for a couple of seconds and then points, "Over there."
As I go off to the direction she is pointing, she wishes me to "enjoy my stay". And then as if fogged cleared up, there was Porsche. With the same old thick black hair and purple eyeshadow just the way I like her. She was entertaining a table of guys, her t-shirt soaked, tits poking through. During another time and place this would've bothered me greatly and I'd be yelling at her to cover up, but after Porsche's depression episode she became a different person. So did I, after realizing I couldn't help her or that she wouldn't let me for that matter. We are back together now of course... not that things aren't going well, but once in awhile things get- let's just say fuzzy.
"Hey baby." I say loudly enough to get her attention. She turns around and smiles.
"Dannykins!"
I cringe at my given pet name.
"So what's up? I've really missed you."
"Me too. Sorry I've been busy lately."
"Go on break now."
"O? Is that a command?" She gives me a dirty look. Now we both have the same thing on our minds. I cup her around the waist and lead her to the men's bathroom.
Both of us crammed into a stall and I made sure it could lock. I needed to have her right then and there. I needed to feel myself inside her, feel my lips on her breasts. I needed to erase what Kenny had done, what my rapist had done. The things I want to forget most, I can't. The things I try to replace them with are only temporary. Temporary is good enough.
AN: :holds up a shield to defend from rocks being thrown: so, uh, what do u guys think? Also it's really not going to get any worse than this, is the rating ok?