The Idiot Professor and Me
New school and new school year. While most of you out there may think that entering a new school is no big thing, it's different for some. My friend Caitlin and I have a disability that has to be taken into account. We're visually impaired. While most of the teachers at Hogwarts were accepting and extremely willing to accommodate us, one was not. That someone happened to be Professor Severus Snape. Now I'd heard the rumors that he favored Slytherin and was a sleazy grease bag but I mean how bad could the guy be? I have never been more wrong. Let's take a look at our first day in his class shall we?
So it's the first day of classes and Caitlin and I are attempting to maneuver stone steps with one cane and a mass of students. Let me tell you that was not fun. Well around 8:30 we arrived at the door to our 6th year NEWT Potions class. There weren't a whole lot of people; I'd counted about 12 other students besides us. What surprised me the most was that there were kids from all four houses. Caitlin and I had been lucky enough to be sorted into the same house, Ravenclaw.
"Sarah, I'm really not looking forward to this class," Caitlin whispered in my ear as we all just stood around and waited.
"Me either. I was never great in science and this reminds me too much of Chemistry," I answered as loud footsteps echoed down the hall.
"Out of my way," came the cold, baritone voice of Professor Severus Snape.
He really did fit what I'd imagined him as. He had shoulder-length black hair that looked like it had never been washed. I was instantly reminded of my sophomore year health teacher and shuddered. After he had opened the door, we all filed in.
"No one sit down, I have assigned seats," he stated as he opened up what appeared to be a grade book. However I could have been wrong, seeing as he was about 30 feet away and anything after 20 feet gets blurry even with glasses on.
"Assigned seats. Since when does any teacher assign seats?" Hermione Granger muttered to her two best friends, Harry and Ron.
Somehow, Caitlin and I ended up in the back of classroom. The freaking back of the room!
"What idiot in their right mind puts the two Visually Impaired kids in the back of the room?" Caitlin grumbled to me as we took our seats.
"That one apparently," I smirked as I pointed towards the front of the classroom.
"Now. Today you will be making an AIDS cure Potion," Snape snarled as he tapped his wand on the board.
"Can you see anything?" Caity queried in my ear.
"Not a blessed thing. Hey lets go up and see what it says," I answered and we both rose quietly.
We linked arms and strolled up to the front of the board. Unfortunately, even being closer was no help. Professor Snape's handwriting, if you could actually call it that was practically undecipherable. Luckily, Harry and Ron were sitting near the board so we snuck over.
"Guys, could do us a big favor?" I questioned politely.
"Um, sure," Harry replied.
"Could you read us the ingredients on the board?" Caitlin said, knowing that was what I was going to say.
"Alright," Ron said cheerfully.
"The first ingredient is petrified rat blood. Second is diced snake liver," Harry began.
I took out a pen, yes a pen. I'm not writing with a feather. I began writing down what he said. He was actually very patient. Ron was too. He waited until Caity gave him a nod to continue. She had a bit of a harder time though because she had to put everything into her portable Braille N' Speak, which at the moment was turned to silent mode.
"Professor Snape, the new girls are cheating and Potter and Weasley are helping them," Malfoy sneered rudely.
"Dude. I'm not cheating. I can't see the damn board and his handwriting is damn near unreadable. So get off my case you spit wad," I quipped and rolled my eyes.
"Yeah. Back off you loathsome puddle of drool," Caitlin spat with a laugh.
"Potter! Weasley! 60 points from Gryffindor for cheating and all four of you have detention," Snape growled menacingly in our general direction.
"What? No offense Professor but get a clue," I spat right back at him.
"That's another 10 points for your classmate's cheek," the grease bag seethed.
Detention! This was a first for Caity and me and well, honestly we weren't too sure of what to expect. So after dinner we met up with Harry and Ron and trudged down the stone stairs to Professor Snape's classroom.
"Honestly these people knew we were coming. Couldn't they have installed escalators or something?" I groused to Caitlin as we neared the door.
She just laughed. Harry joined in too but Ron just looked extremely perplexed. As we entered the room, Harry quickly explained that escalators were a muggle invention that was like moving stairs. He seemed to understand. Once we'd entered the classroom Snape emerged from behind a tall oak door, most likely leading to his private office.
"Sit," he commanded.
Slightly taken aback by his tone, all four of us took seats. I was definitely not enjoying this experience at all.
"You four are going to write me 2 scrolls worth on AIDS," he stated in a rather uninterested tone.
After he gave us our assignment, he simply left. I don't know where he went but he left.
"Isn't this supposed to be detention? Why'd he leave?" I asked confusedly.
"Because he probably has better things to do than sit here and watch us write," Harry commented with a smirk.
"Yeah. Well what causes AIDS?" Ron inquired.
"Screwing too many people!" I chortled.
"So true!" Caity added through gales of laughter.
"It's not that funny," Harry muttered.
"You're right Harry. What I said was uncalled for," I admitted.
So we got to work. Around 8:00 Snape came back and said that we could leave when we were finished. Actually, he didn't say it quite that way.
"You've had an hour and a half to do this. Hand what you have done in and get out," is a more literal translation.
So we get up to hand in our essays, which surprisingly we had all finished. Well let me forewarn you, what happened next is not pretty. So we hand in our essays and he looks at Caity's and gets this really disgusted look on his face.
"What is this?" he asked, waving the essay in her face.
"My essay sir," Caitlin answered politely.
"And how do you propose I read this?" he snarled.
"Well in the paperwork I gave to Professor Dumbledore to hand out to all of my teachers, there was a spell to translate Braille to written text," she explained.
He just glared at her. He glared like he didn't believe her and wanted to scare her. Well no one does that to my nearest ad dearest friend. This is where it gets ugly.
"I received no such paperwork," Snape spat poisonously.
"Bullshit! You did too receive it. I saw Dumbledore give it to all of the staff yesterday. And you know what right now you are violating Caitlin's rights by not accepting her work in the form that she is most able to understand!" I exploded.
"How dare---," he began.
"I'm not done! No one denies me or my friends our rights simply because they are too damn lazy to mutter one simple spell!" I continued.
"Trust me, I could have this in court faster than you could say 'Nox" if you aren't careful Professor. You have no damned right to discriminate against us simply because we have added classroom and assignment modifications!" I finished.
"Are you done?" he asked, locking my gaze with his.
"For now," I spat.
"You have a very volatile temper. Did you know that?" Ron whispered.
"Only when I get extremely…angry," I said with a deep breath.
"You two are dismissed," Professor Snape said indicating the two boys.
"You two in my office now," he snapped at Caitlin and I and spun on his heel.
Well you'd think we were about to get in big trouble. Well, you would be half correct in your assumption. Trouble was found, but not for whom you'd expect.
After taking seats in his extremely unorganized office, Professor Snape began to pace. He paced back and forth and back and forth. It got very tiresome to watch after about the third time.
"Are you aware of how much trouble you are going to be in?" He stated suddenly.
"For what? Standing up for my rights?" I asked, in a slightly defensive tone.
"Yes Severus do enlighten us on exactly how much trouble she is going to be in," came the serene voice of none other than Professor Dumbledore.
"Albus you have no idea how inexcusably rude these two were to me," Snape protested.
"Severus please if you would kindly take a seat we shall sort this matter out," Dumbledore continued.
So how did Dumbledore know something was up? Other than the fact that is pretty much omniscient, Caity and I guessed that Ron and Harry had alerted him. Either way, it doesn't matter.
"I am aware that Miss Lynch handed an essay in that you have deemed unacceptable for some reason Severus," Albus began.
"Indeed. She's a liar as well," Snape spat.
Oh boy. If both Dumbledore and Caitlin hadn't held me down, I would have been on that pompous jerk like fleas on a dog. I could just feel my anger bubbling right below the surface. Whether by fate or chance, I saw a very recognizable pile of papers shoved in the corner on his desk, Caitlin and my vision portfolios. I managed to dislodge myself from their grips long enough to grab the crumpled papers.
"Professor. In case you didn't know, these are the papers Caitlin was talking about," I growled, brandishing them under his nose.
He grabbed them and blushed. Yes the man who would win the 'palest skin' contest blushed. Honestly, it was rather frightening.
"Severus did you even bother to read them?" Dumbledore questioned, already knowing the answer.
The greasy haired Potions connoisseur grumbled something under his breath and then stood up. And he began pacing, again. Oddly, Dumbledore stood as well and grabbed Snape by the wrist.
"I believe you have something to say to these girls Severus," the headmaster reprimanded, as if Snape were a small child.
"I am at fault for neglecting to review certain paperwork and thus caused undue hardship upon the both of you," he said in a bored tone.
"Isn't it easier to just say 'I'm sorry'?" Caity asked.
"I'm…sorry," he replied with much struggle.
Caitlin and I exchanged glances and smiled. Together we rose and took a step towards the cluttered desk.
"We accept your apology," we said in perfect unison, like true twins.
"And I'm sorry for jumping down your throat Professor," I added extending my right hand.
"I accept," he muttered and shook my hand.
"So how exactly do I change this?" he continued in a slightly more pleasant tone.
I took the essay from him and extracted my wand from within my robes. I couldn't get out of the dorky robes.
"Transforus inglem," I said and waved my wand.
Instantly, the sheets of Braille turned to written text and very neatly written text I might add. I wish my writing was that neat. I handed the parchment back to Snape and re-stowed my wand.
"Well I think our problem is solved," Dumbledore said with a smile.
"Now, you two off to your dorms," he said ushering us out.
And that concludes Caitlin and my first day of 6th year NEWT Potions. I think it was the most stressful and trying day of our lives. It's a good thing it was only the first day, it gives Professor Snape the rest of the year to get it right. And remarkably, he did. It took him about a month to get used to things but everything worked out.