Their lips parted and their arms that had embraced fell once more to their sides. With the ease of forced practice, the two women assumed the façade of mere friendship as they must, as they moved back into the public eye, lest they risk having the wrath and judgement of the times fall upon them, although, beneath the surface, their hearts beat at an extraordinary rate. Delia picked up the suitcase Patsy had dropped when she had greeted her and together they strolled back towards the gaiety of Tom and Barbara's wedding festivities which were now centred upon the brilliant lights and colourful splendour of the whirling carousel, Tom's surprise gift to his new wife.
Patsy and Delia joined the thinning crowd to watch from the sidelines as the gilded horses with their sleighs in tow, pranced around and around in ceaseless circles to the accompaniment of the customary band organ music that played. Aboard the carousel, their friends laughed and called out to one another in good cheer while flurries of snowflakes drifted down, settling on hats and coats, shoulders and hair, forming a powdery, white veil.
As they watched, Delia couldn't help but wonder if it would ever be possible for her and Patsy to have such a celebration of their love for each other, one where friends and family would be invited, all of them unanimous in wishing them well. Was their love really less worthy than that of Tom and Barbara? Delia didn't think so. Why should her love be considered less valid simply because it was for another woman? She was convinced that in the real scheme of things it wasn't and, indeed, was equally deserving of a celebration rather than having to hide that love away as a shameful secret…. a secret shared only between themselves and others like them.
Delia was drawn from her thoughts by a sudden shout from one of the carousel's horses.
"Patsy! You're back!"
Heads turned towards the pair.
"Pats!"
Patsy waved and smiled at her friends in response while they, in turn, signalled wildly and called out to the operator to stop the carousel. They needed to get off urgently.
As they waited with the impatience of young children for the rise and fall of their horses to slowly come to a halt, the Sisters of Nonnatus House also spotted Patsy and immediately headed over to join her and Delia. Soon she was surrounded by those who, over the years, she had come to think of as family as they greeted her with warm words of welcome accompanied by enthusiastic hugs and handshakes.
"I can't believe you're here," Trixie exclaimed as she embraced Patsy for a second time, "it's so absolutely fabulous to have you back."
"It's good to be back," Patsy replied as she returned the affection.
Suddenly Trixie remembered the reason for Patsy's departure and also for her return.
"Oh, Pats…. I'm so awfully sorry to hear about your father…. Are you alright?" Trixie added, her tone now more subdued as a concerned frown crossed her forehead.
"Thank you, Trix…. yes, I'm fine," Patsy answered as she reached for Trixie's hands and gave them a gentle, reassuring squeeze. "There was nothing the doctors or I could do in the end other than to make him as comfortable as possible and try to ease his pain as best we knew how…. His suffering is over now…. He's in a better place…. I'm glad I was able to see him one last time but I'm also very happy to be home again." Patsy turned and caught Delia's eye, giving her a brief smile into which there was written a mountain of meaning.
While the Sisters and nurses of Nonnatus House welcomed their returned lamb back into the fold, Delia hung silently by Patsy's side for the words she wished to say to her were for Patsy's ears only. For now, she was content to merely be in her presence. Huddling deeper into her coat and burying her hands in its pockets out of the cold, Delia's attention was taken once more by the liveliness of the carousel …. the warm light from the bulbs reflecting in the many mirrors, the hypnotic motion of the horses as they danced gracefully, the music grinding out …. music that reminded Delia of village carnivals or church fair days back in Wales when she and her best friend, Catrin, would sneak at least one turn on every ride then search out the carnival kids to play with. They would show Delia and Catrin how to tumble and fall without hurting themselves or attempt to teach them how to juggle with skittles or brightly-coloured, Indian-rubber balls. It was all such fun. She also remembered the time when they were a bit older, Catrin had taken her by the hand and led her to a more secluded spot behind the tented stalls where she drew a surprised Delia into her arms and kissed her fully on the mouth. It was a clumsy, childish kiss but the thrill of it was as wonderful and exciting as the carnival itself.
As Delia stood there watching… thinking… she found she could breathe more freely as she filled her lungs to capacity with the crisp, life-giving air. Her heart, although beating a little faster, no longer ached as it had done for months now. Like a magic elixir, elation and relief coursed through her veins allowing her to feel only happiness. Tomorrow morning, she would rise and it wouldn't be necessary to pretend for the sake of others that her heart wasn't breaking. During the midday meal where perhaps Trixie would discuss what to wear on her next date with Christopher or talk about Tom and Barbara's wedding, that inevitable sadness that had come to dull her being would be gone. She would no longer need to fill her evenings either lying on her bed poring over Spanish love poems, her melancholy reflected in many of their verses or writing long, languid letters to Patsy, filling the pages with how much she missed her and how she yearned for them to be together again... letters which, for the most part, remained folded away in a small box in her top drawer, unsent, for she knew Patsy had made the only choice possible and she had no desire to ply that difficult decision with the added layer of her loneliness. Then, in the unexpected blink of an eye, it all became a thing of the past. Patsy was back. She was standing by her side, her flesh and blood real and in her presence. It wasn't just another of her wishful dreams.
Suddenly, the bright lights of the roundabout swam before her eyes as tiny moons set adrift; the horses, no longer confined to moving in circles, lifted up and appeared to gallop off into the evening sky. Despite the cold air, heat flushed her cheeks and she too felt as though she was floating, her head lighter than air.
It was as her knees began to buckle that Patsy sensed something was wrong and quickly flung an arm around Delia's waist, keeping her from collapsing onto the cold, hard ground.
"Delia, what's wrong?" Patsy asked, trying to keep the panic from her voice as is second nature to every good nurse.
Delia held on tightly to Patsy's arm as she struggled to remain upright and conscious. She rested her forehead on Patsy's shoulder to stop her head from spinning and to bring the world back into focus.
"It's nothing…. I'm just a little dizzy," she managed to reply, "Give me a minute and I'll be fine."
Surrounded by nurses, there was no escaping instant medical attention. Trixie immediately removed a suede glove and put the back of her hand to Delia's forehead.
"There's no temperature…She doesn't seem to have a fever."
"I'm fine, really," Delia protested gently, not wanting such a fuss. "I haven't eaten since breakfast and it's made me a little light headed, that's all…. Once I have something to eat I'll be as right as rain again."
"Right, a hot cup of tea and some biscuits for you immediately…cream ones if you're lucky," Patsy ordered, her arm still around Delia's waist for support. "Are you alright to walk?"
"Not if you're offering to carry me," Delia whispered with a playful smile, her faculties quickly coming back to her.
Patsy's eyes glanced around at the people still milling about the street and the carousel.
"Not a chance, Busby," she whispered back, "but seriously, are you alright to make it to Nonnatus House?"
"I think so but it's probably best that you keep your arm around me…. for support…. just in case it strikes me again."
oooOooo
Patsy and Delia walked the short distance across the street to the steps of Nonnatus House. The snow was falling more steadily now and by the morning it would be inches thick on every surface.
At the bottom of those all-too-familiar set of steps, Patsy halted and took a deep breath, the cold air entering her lungs and forcing a shiver. Many weeks ago, she had left the work and the people she loved to be with her father, a man she had estranged all those years before, too afraid to face the grief that loving him and then losing him would cause. Death had already snatched her mother and her sister from her. The thought of losing another was too great and so she had closed her heart to him and yet, when the letter from Hong Kong had arrived informing her of his dreadful illness, she knew she had no choice but to face this thing that scared her most. Unsure of what to expect or when she would return, she had booked a passage aboard a boat and gone to him.
Even as she arrived, his grip on life was tenuous but fortunately there had been enough time for her to make her peace with him while seeing to the task of easing his inescapable release from this world. It had been one of the most difficult things she'd ever had to do but she did it regardless, grateful, at least, for the opportunity to make amends…. and now she had returned.
Patsy went up those steps, perhaps a little wiser than when she had left all those weeks ago. She had always thought that loving someone eventually brought nothing but grief and sadness, however, she understood now that this grief was a reminder that one had been fortuitous enough to have loved in the first place. Although, when the end comes it seems a steep price to pay, after time has done its job and lessened the pain of the loss, the rewards that having loved gives you are usually worth it.
Patsy knew without doubt that it was love she felt for Delia but she also knew that it had been restrained by her overwhelming fear of loving too much and having her heart torn apart. Now that she had faced that fear head on and made sense of it, she was determined that Delia should have the love she was so deserving of. It was as if her father's parting gift to her was to take away the fear and worry of what might come, allowing her to truly love perhaps for the first time since losing her mother and sister.
The pair walked through the heavy door of Nonnatus House and into the kitchen where a fire that had been kept alive in the nearby fireplace filled the room with a comfortable warmth. Patsy dropped her bag beside the table and pulled out one of the chairs for Delia to rest on while she made the tea and sought out some biscuits but instead of taking up the offer of a seat, Delia tugged Patsy into her arms, reached up that short distance as she was used to doing, and placed her lips upon Patsy's mouth, revelling in its familiar fullness. However, much to Delia's disappointment, Patsy quickly pulled away.
"As much as I want to, Delia…..we can't… not here. We have to be careful," she said as she stepped back a little, her voice hushed as though there might be someone peering around every corner. "We don't want the others to smoke us out."
Refusing to let anything or anyone put a dampener on her cheerfulness, Delia replied, "Well, you could say that I had fainted again and you were trying to resuscitate me."
"But we're standing up…. How do you suppose I explain that? Or should I lie you on the floor?"
"You could say you were trying a new method."
"Nurse Busby, nobody is going to believe that load of old codswallop," Patsy argued while trying to look suitably serious but with a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth nonetheless.
"Can I make a confession?" Delia asked as she dared to sneak closer.
"What?" Patsy held her at arm's length knowing she may not be able to resist the temptation herself should she allow Delia any closer.
"I didn't faint from hunger…"
"From what then? You're not ill, are you?"
"No," Delia quickly reassured her as she eased the worried frown from Patsy's forehead with the gentle press of her fingertips. "I think it was simply the shock of seeing you again so unexpectedly…. I've missed you so much while we've been apart…. All those weeks with no word from you…"
"I was on the boat…"
Delia held both of Patsy's hands in her own.
"I know that now but I didn't then…. And then suddenly you turn up out of nowhere… I was so happy to see you… I couldn't be happier…. It was such a surprise… but I was afraid it might all have been a dream and if I blinked or turned away for even the slightest second when I looked back you wouldn't be there… but you were…. you really are back… I think perhaps I was a bit overwhelmed…that's when I…."
After a quick check to make sure the coast was clear, Patsy wrapped the lovely Delia in her arms.
"I promise I'll never leave you again…. I mean it, Deels."
Not wanting to push their luck as they knew the other residents of Nonnatus House wouldn't be too far away, they reluctantly moved out of the embrace, each one subtly brushing at fat tears that had begun to roll down their cheeks.
"Pats…"
"Yes…?"
"There's something I need far more urgently than food and a cup of tea at the moment….."
Patsy gave her a puzzled look but rather than explain, Delia took Patsy's hand and led her towards the staircase which went up to the lodgings, picking up the suitcase with her free hand on the way.
They walked past the room which Patsy had shared with Trixie before she'd left but was now presently taken by Nurse Dyer, then the next doorway which up until today, had been shared by Barbara and Nurse Crane. Now that Barbara was living with Tom, it was most likely that this would be Patsy's new abode. Finally, they came to Delia's room. It was smaller than the others so she rather conveniently had it to herself. Delia quickly opened the door, dragged Patsy inside then just as quickly closed it, unceremoniously dumping the suitcase beside her chest of drawers as she did so.
Wasting no time now that they were safely out of sight, they were in each other's arms resuming the kiss they had started in the kitchen. This time there was no pulling away. Instead, Delia felt Patsy's fingers dip into her hair, pressing their lips together even more firmly until it hurt but it was a delicious, insatiable hurt. She felt Patsy's tongue delve into her mouth, hot, sensuous and searching, like liquid fire, igniting her from the inside.
Eventually, breathless and with hearts racing, their lips drew apart.
"Oh, Pats…..I missed you so much….I don't know….." Delia began but Patsy silenced her with a finger placed lightly across her lips as she noticed tears welling up once more in Delia's eyes.
"I missed you too and I don't ever want us to be apart again."
Without any further words, Patsy slipped a hand under each shoulder of Delia's coat and shimmied it from her arms before dropping it carelessly into a heap on the floor. Then, with a single fingertip, she traced along the 'V' of exposed skin created by the neckline of Delia's dress. Her eyes followed the same path as her fingertip, mesmerised by the loveliness of what they saw. Her touch and the thought of what might follow sent a surge of amatory pleasure shooting through Delia's entire body, culminating in an involuntary shiver of delight.
It was as Patsy leaned in to claim Delia's lips once more that a sharp rap on the door flung them apart. Delia quickly picked up her coat from where it lay at her feet and slung it over her forearm then checked that all was in place before calling out, "Come in."
Patsy placed herself on the side of Delia's bed, striking what she hoped would pass for a casual pose.
It was Sister Julienne who poked her head around the door and then entered.
"Ah, I thought I might find you here, Nurse Mount."
"Evening, Sister Julienne. Delia has been catching me up on the things I've missed while I've been away," Patsy explained, throwing Delia a sly, sideways glance.
"How are you feeling now, Nurse Busby? I assume Nurse Mount has taken good care of you."
Delia struggled with the smirk that threatened to form, as she replied, "Yes, she has and I'm much better for it, thank you, Sister Julienne."
"Good….. Nurse Mount, I'm just letting you know that you will be sharing a room with Nurse Crane now that Nurse Gilbert has vacated it. I'm afraid we had to give your previous room to Nurse Dyer as we were unsure of your return. I hope you are agreeable to that as it seems less disruptive for everyone that way."
"That's fine, Sister…..Thank you."
"Also, I've instructed Nurse Crane to leave you off the rota until Monday so you can have a few days to recover from your trip and settle back in."
"Thank you, Sister, but that really isn't necessary. I can be ready to start tomorrow, if that would be useful…you're a nurse down with Barbara gone on her honeymoon…"
"Take the time, Nurse Mount…I've looked at the schedules and we're going through a quiet period at the moment…. But be sure that if we have an urgent need of an extra pair of hands that you will be called upon."
"I'll be ready, Sister."
"Thank you, Nurse Mount. I'll leave you now to settle in. Good night."
"Night, Sister," they chorused.
As the door closed, Delia collapsed on the bed beside Patsy, the pair of them trying in vain to stifle their laughter.
"Pats, what were you thinking saying that? I could have lost it completely!"
"Nurse Busby, I have no idea what you're referring to," Patsy replied, feigning complete innocence then, reluctantly rising from the bed, added, "I suppose I'd better go and unpack my suitcase. I'll find the rest of my things in the morning. It should be interesting sharing a room with Phyllis."
Putting on a more serious face, Delia said, "I think she knows about us…or, at least suspects."
"Phyllis? Really?" Patsy straightened up, suddenly wearing a look of concern. "How could she possibly know? Did she say something to you?"
"No, not directly but the evening you departed, we crossed each other in the hallway and I think she sensed my utter despair at your leaving…. She stopped me and quoted a poem…. 'For the love of you, the air it hurts…."
Patsy's expression turned to one of wide-eyed surprise.
"I've lost track of how many times I've read that same poem since that night…. Garcia Lorca…. Phyllis loaned me the book and her parting words were, 'The pain it costs to love, I believe it is always worth it'….."
Patsy shook her head in disbelief as though it was all too much to hope for that there was someone on their side.
"And then there were the times when we'd be sitting around talking, mostly about Barbara's wedding preparations or the trials and tribulations of Trixie's relationship with Christopher and I'd start to feel a bit blue about it all…. It was as though Phyllis knew and she would change the conversation to something else."
With a smile of relief, Patsy said, "Good old, Phyllis Crane. I always knew that behind that stern exterior there beats a heart full of compassion and understanding. It's nice to know we have at least one ally but still, we can't risk making a show of it in front of her or anybody else here."
Picking up her suitcase, Patsy made for the door.
"I'm going to quickly unpack and then I think I'll fill the tub and have a soak if nobody objects…. After nearly a month on a boat, I need a good, long lounge in some hot water."
"If you leave the door unlatched, I'll change into something more relaxed and then bring you a drink and, if you're lucky, I'll sponge your back."
"Alright but don't be too long…. I'd hate for one of the Sisters to walk in while I'm lying there in the 'altogether'."
"Ten minutes."
"Good…. long enough for me to fill the tub…. Don't forget that drink."
oooOooo
At the sound of the light rap on the bathroom door, Pasty called out, "Who is it?"
"It's your waitress, m'am….. I have your drink order."
"Deels, come in…. I'd help you but I'm in the tub… the door isn't latched… just give it a nudge."
Delia, who was now in her pyjamas and holding a cocktail glass in each hand, pushed the door gently with her slippered toe and, as promised, it crept open just enough for her to enter. She then closed it in the same fashion before making her way over to where Patsy was lolling in a tub full of steamy, hot water.
"Tadah!"
Delia presented Patsy with her cocktail, adding the suitable flourish.
"What marvellous concoction are we drinking tonight?" Patsy asked as her dripping hand reached for the glass.
"Tonight, we are celebrating your return with a Manhattan…. Bourbon, dark vermouth, Grenadine, a splash of bitters and not one but two Maraschino cherries," Delia announced as she went over to lock the door before pulling up a low, wooden stool and sitting beside the tub, her eyes now almost level with Patsy's. "Classy but goes off like a grenade. Cheers!"
The two women raised their glasses before taking that first, careful sip then hummed with satisfaction as the heat of the fiery liquid spread throughout their bodies. Patsy rested her glass on the rim of the tub as she lay back, closed her eyes and took in its full effect. Delia, however, kept her eyes wide open. The effect of the drink was negligible compared to that of Patsy's body lying languidly before her in all its naked glory …. The fullness of her breasts, dark pink at the tips; the long, shapely legs with that triangular patch of light-coloured curls nestled at their apex; the sensual curves of pale skin, like flawless porcelain, enticing Delia to smooth her hand over it. Delia didn't think she had ever seen any woman look quite so glorious and this woman was all hers.
"Gosh!" Delia said out loud at the thought.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong…. It's all very right, in fact… Don't mind me…. I think this drink is going straight to my head."
Patsy gave Delia a bemused smile and went back to sipping her cocktail. Delia too, sipped her drink albeit a little more slowly as she watched Pats take one of the Maraschino cherries from her cocktail glass and hold it up by the tip of the stalk. Her mouth surrounded the bright red fruit as her teeth nipped it from the stem and burst its flesh at which point another involuntary gasp escaped Delia's lips before she could capture it, sending some of her drink down the wrong way which, in turn, made her cough and splutter.
"Deels, are you okay?"
Delia managed to nod amid a fit of coughing. Patsy sat up to check for herself.
"You'd better take it easy with that drink, old girl," Patsy said with a laugh and a wink, "you don't want to get too tipsy."
Delia put her glass on the floor in front of her stool while she regained her composure. After one or two more coughs, her breathing had righted itself and she took the opportunity to suggest that Patsy should stay sitting up so she could wash her back for her. As requested, Patsy remained upright, bringing her knees up to her chest and leaning forward a little further, her forearms and chin resting on her knees, a position from which she was still able to sip her drink. Delia pushed up her sleeves as far as they would go, soaped up the washcloth then ran it diligently across Patsy's shoulders and eventually her entire back, taking in the detail of every tiny ridge and valley as she did so.
Once Delia was finished, Patsy rested the almost empty cocktail glass on the shelf at the end of the tub then lay back once more, stretching almost to her full length so as to rinse off the soap. Delia was about to dip the cloth into the water again when Patsy gently but firmly took hold of her wrist with one hand and removed the cloth with the other. She then closed her eyes as she slowly guided Delia's willing fingers over each of her breasts, pausing slightly at their hard tips, then along her stomach until finally coming to the fair curls below where she let Delia's hand rest with her own hand over the top, applying an ever-so-slight pressure. Delia could feel her pulse racing and she was fairly certain Patsy could too. Her breathing had become short and sharp. Her sleeve was getting wet but she didn't care. All she wanted to do was reach over to kiss Pats. It was only the thought of actually toppling into the tub that stopped her. Suddenly, as if to burst their bubble, there came a sharp knock on the door.
"Patsy, are you in there?"
Delia quickly ejected her hand from Patsy's nether regions and stood up, almost knocking over the remains of her drink in the process. She pulled Patsy's towel from the rail, dried her arms and rolled her sleeves back down, all the while, trying to stop her heart from pounding with panic.
"It's alright. You locked the door….she can't come in," Patsy whispered to Delia in order to calm her then called out, "Yes, Trix."
"Are you going to be long?" Trixie asked from the other side of the door, "it's just that I'd like to clean my face and teeth before I go to bed, if I could."
"I'll be five minutes."
"Wonderful. I'll go and fetch my things."
Delia had been about to make her way to the door when she remembered the two empty cocktail glasses. She collected them just as Patsy stepped out of the tub.
"I'd better get while the getting is good," Delia said, probably more to convince herself she should go than anyone else as she watched Patsy wrap herself in a towel.
oooOooo
Like so many times in the past, while the rest of Nonnatus House slept, Patsy crept noiselessly into Delia's room. There was so much they needed to talk about and catch up on, however, tonight would be about sating a more urgent need, that need each of them had to rediscover the intimacy they had shared as lovers before Patsy left. There would be plenty of time for conversation later.
Delia placed the magazine she had been attempting to distract herself with on the bedside table as Patsy crossed the threshold, shutting the door and turning the key in the lock behind her. On tiptoes, she quickly crossed the cold floor, knowing instinctively which squeaky floorboards to avoid and, on making it to the narrow bed, eased herself down beside Delia. There was a heavy hitch in Delia's breath as Patsy sidled closer, slipping an eager but cool hand beneath Delia's top and cupping her breast. Without the need for any polite preamble, their mouths met, parted and met once more, each kiss becoming more demanding than the last as lips and tongues pressed ardently together in an effort to make up for the time they had lost.
Eventually, Patsy moved back a little so she had more convenient access to the buttons on Delia's satin pyjama top but her usually-agile fingers fumbled in her haste to undo them. Forcing herself to slow down, Patsy finally freed the last of them. After a quick glance at the door to remind herself that she did actually lock it, Patsy parted the slippery fabric, dipped her head and placed cool, wet kisses in a trail from Delia's collarbone, across her chest and along the swell and swale of each breast, pausing to entice each nipple to a firm bud with warm strokes of her tongue. Her hands, meanwhile, traced a path along the curve of Delia's hip and over the roundness of her buttocks until finally coming to rest at the subtle mound between her thighs. Delia instinctively pressed forward to meet the touch of Patsy's mouth and fingers.
Feeling as though there was little time to waste, Patsy tugged on the cord that held Delia's pyjama bottoms in place. The bow loosened and released, leaving her the job of slipping them from Delia's legs, work made easier by the looseness of their fit and co-operation from Delia. Soon they were deposited in a crumpled heap somewhere beneath the blankets at the end of the bed.
As Patsy went to lower her head once more so she could put her lips to the soft flesh of Delia's stomach, she felt Delia pull away slightly. She looked up at her in puzzlement.
"One of us is wearing too many clothes," Delia declared in a whisper as she began to unbutton Patsy's flannel pyjama top. Taking her cue, Patsy assisted by shrugging off the bottoms.
"Is that better?" Patsy asked once she was free of all impinging apparel.
"Much," Delia replied in a breathless murmur as Patsy put an arm across her hip and they shifted close enough to feel the press of the other's skin, warm and tantalising against their own, both women stifling a moan at the exquisiteness of the contact.
"Have I told you how glad I am to be home with you?" Patsy asked, her voice low as she gently coerced her partner onto her back, capturing Delia's face in her doe-eyed gaze.
"Not for nearly an hour now," Delia teased through a sharp intake of air, well conscious that Patsy's fingers were now working their way over her stomach, causing a physical flutter in her chest and between her legs.
As Patsy's hand reached into the thatch of dark curls, Delia pushed back hard into her pillow, her eyes closed tight. On silent beckoning, her legs willingly parted allowing Patsy to lightly stroke the sensitive skin of her inner thigh before making her way to their apex where she gently parted the folds. Delia almost had to think to breathe as the thrill of every touch from Patsy's fingertips completely enveloped her.
"Oh, Deels," Patsy whispered as she fervently plied her lover's neck with tiny kisses. There was so much she wanted to say to this woman but her words were lost in the struggle of emotions that were pouring through her as she dipped her fingers into the slippery commotion that was Delia's sex.
Her fingertips moved in slow, searching circles to begin with, guided by the muted sighs and moans that drew from her touch. When the time seemed right, she narrowed in on the sensitive, swollen pearl that was Delia's centre, her movements which were now becoming faster and firmer, were met by the force of Delia straining against her hand in unsteady syncopation.
Delia pushed back further into the pillow. One hand clutched the edge of the mattress while the other gripped a handful of glorious, red hair. Her back rose in an arc from the bed, her body taut like the string of an archer's bow that, having been slowly and artfully drawn as far as possible, was finally…. mercifully…. released, sending its arrow soaring off into space. Delia's arms flung around Patsy's neck as she buried her face in its curve. It wouldn't do to unsettle the silence of the house at this time of night with the sound of her cries.
They lay in a silent stillness for a minute or two, seemingly savouring the moment, until eventually their rigid pose loosened and they parted a little. They kissed…. soft, breathy kisses at first on cheeks, chin, eyes, forehead until their lips met again, forceful and impassioned. Hips began to nudge and strain. Bare breast pressed against bare breast.
Delia moved onto her side and slid a thigh between Patsy's legs, revelling in the wetness she found there. As they fitted themselves neatly together, Delia could feel Patsy begin to push and rock against her, slowly at first but her pace steadily quickening as, push by push, she began to rapidly unravel. Her breath was coming in short, quick gasps until, with one final, forceful thrust, her body stiffened and she gave a cry which, as luck would have it, was captured by Delia in a kiss.
oooOooo
Patsy's eyes shot open. She looked around, uncertain as to the cause of her alarm until she spied the clock on Delia's bedside table. It was nearly 5am and here she was still in Delia's bed, the two of them naked and tucked up tight. Patsy could tell from the gently rise and fall of Delia's chest that she was fast asleep.
Patsy hadn't intended to stay the entire night. As always, the plan had been to rest a little, dress and then sneak back to her room but instead she had fallen asleep. If she didn't get back in her own bed quick smart, Phyllis would be waking up and wondering where she was. Questions would be asked, assumptions possibly made and Patsy would be forced to fabricate an explanation. Patsy didn't regret who or what she was. What she did regret were the occasions it became necessary to tell a lie or pretend that she was anything other than who she was. She despised the dishonesty forced upon her for she wasn't a dishonest person by nature, however, she was well aware of the consequences that telling the truth held.
Slowly, Patsy began to ease herself free but Delia caught her by the wrist.
"Don't go yet," Delia begged sleepily.
"Deels, it's nearly 5 o'clock," Patsy said in a low, urgent whisper, "Phyllis will be up and about soon and wondering where I spent the night."
Resigned to the fact that Patsy was right, Delia let her grip slacken, a cold shiver running the length of her spine as Patsy rose from the bed and the warmth their bodies had created dispelled.
Patsy retrieved her pyjama top from the floor and put it on then fished around beneath the blankets until she came up with both pairs of pyjama bottoms.
"Here you are," Patsy said as she put on her pyjama pants then walked to the other side of the bed and presented Delia with the top and bottoms of her own pyjamas. "Best you put them on before you get too cold…. and before someone walks in and wonders why you're sleeping naked in the middle of winter."
"I'll tell them that the woman I love was keeping me warm but she had to leave," Delia replied sleepily as she reached out for the nightwear.
"You'll tell them no such thing unless you want to have us both tossed out on our ear," Patsy replied, trying to sound stern but her heart melting at Delia's words. "I have to go…. I'll see you at breakfast…. I love you."
With a last kiss to Delia's cheek, Patsy tiptoed back the way she had entered, unlocked the door and crept her way to the room she now shared with Nurse Crane. She cracked the door open slightly and peered in, hoping upon hope to see Phyllis still sleeping. If she wasn't, Patsy had already decided that, if asked, she would say she that she'd just been to the bathroom and then pray that Phyllis wasn't awake enough to notice that her bed hadn't yet been slept in.
Fortunately, luck was with her as Phyllis' eyes were shut tight and her breathing was that of someone in the relaxed state of sleep. Resisting the urge to rush, Patsy carefully made her way to her bed where she slipped beneath the covers and, as she put her head on the pillow, allowed herself to breathe again, albeit very quietly. What she couldn't possibly see or notice was the small, knowing smile on Phyllis Crane's face.
oooOooo
"Morning, Pats," Trixie trilled as she flitted around the kitchen fetching cups and saucers and filling the kettle. "Would you like a cup of tea?"
"I'd love one, thank you."
"Oh and help yourself to the toast while it's still warm….. I made extra."
"You're a champion, Trix."
"Fred brought round a new batch of Violet's strawberry jam, if you'd like some. The jar is on the table. It's probably best you have some before Sister Monica Joan discovers it."
While Trixie made the tea and Pats spread her toast with butter and a hefty layer of Violet's jam, they were progressively joined by Sister Winifred, Nurse Crane, NUrse Dyer and finally Delia, all of them going about the business of making themselves some breakfast.
"How was your first night back on shore?" Nurse Crane asked Patsy as she poured herself a cup of tea. "Did you sleep well?"
"Very well, thank you, Phyllis," Patsy replied, deliberately avoiding all eye contact with Delia who she instinctively knew would be holding back a smile. "And you?"
"Like the dead, as they say….. Once my head hit that pillow, I was out like a light for the entire night but then I always was a sound sleeper."
This time, Patsy did dare to slip Delia a sideways glance. Their secret was safe it seemed.
Once breakfast was over, the Sisters and midwives of Nonnatus gathered to collect their equipment and duty rosters in readiness for their rounds of the people of Poplar who were in need of their care.
With only the two of them left in the kitchen, Patsy and Delia sidled a little closer.
"Would you mind if I walked with you to the bus stop this morning?" Patsy asked.
"Of course, not…. That would be lovely."
"I'll go and fetch my coat…. I'll meet you at the door."
Fortunately, it had stopped snowing early in the night and the pavements were now clear although still icy and due care needed to be taken.
The bus to St Cuthbert's left from a stop that was a ten-minute walk from Nonnatus House and for the first few minutes Patsy and Delia strolled in a thoughtful silence until each turned to the other and in unison said, "Can I ask you something?"
They laughed together as Delia said, "You go first?"
Patsy hesitated for a moment, uncertain as to how her suggestion would be received. She was fairly confident Delia would be in favour of her idea but there were significant hurdles they would need to cross. With only one way to find out, she pressed on.
"I was thinking I would like for us to try again…"
Delia gave her a confused look.
"Sharing a flat," she added. "What do you think?"
"Really?"
"Yes. I'm tired of having to sneak around, always locking doors, always having to talk in whispers…. of having to constantly be afraid that someone might see us or being interrupted by a knock on the door…. It's hard enough having to restrain ourselves and pretend when we're out in public, I don't want to have to do it when we're at home too," Patsy explained, the exasperation clear in her voice. "I want us to be able to act like other couples for at least some of the time…. When we're at home I want us to be able to kiss and hold one another at our leisure."
Although her justification was entirely unnecessary because she would go anywhere Pats wanted to go just to be with her, Delia was moved by Patsy's ardency for them to be together as a couple.
"I think it's a fabulous idea."
"You do?"
"Of course!"
"What about your family? …. Your mother? What will she think of you moving out of Nonnatus?"
"She'll probably hate the thought but I'll talk her round."
"Are you sure, Delia? She seems to be able to change your mind about almost anything. Maybe we should talk to her together."
Patsy did have a point, she had to admit.
"I could write her a letter….. By the time she gets the letter and makes her way to London to talk me out of it, we could be moved in and it would be too late."
"Coward," Patsy laughed, "you can tell her over the phone and when she comes to London to drag you back to Wales, we'll talk to her together. I'll make it abundantly clear that I will take very good care of you…..and if she doesn't like that, well, I'll just kidnap you."
For just an instant, Delia sought out Patsy's hand and squeezed it tightly.
"I love 'Take-charge Patsy'…. She's very useful at times, especially when it comes to dealing with my mother," Delia teased.
"Speaking of taking charge, I'll start looking in the newspapers today and see if there's anything suitable…. I'll also talk to Sister Julienne and let her know our plans. That could be another hurdle to jump."
They were only a few yards away from the bus stop. They deliberately slowed their pace, both women reluctant to part company so soon.
"What was it you wanted say before?" Patsy asked as they held back from the main group of people also waiting for the bus.
"I was going to say that my shift finishes at five o'clock today and then I have two days off…. I was hoping we could go to The Gateways Club tonight…. We could dance and hold hands and not have to worry about who's watching us …. We'd be like every other couple for a few hours."
"The idea of dancing with you, Nurse Busby, is very appealing. I'd love to go. I quite enjoyed it last time we went."
"After I dragged you there, kicking and screaming."
It was true. It had taken a lot of persuasion on Delia's part to convince Patsy to go but when they had finally made it, the night had been a huge success. They had spent the entire evening indulging in the freedom of being able to embrace, dance in each other's' arms and even kiss without the concern of being seen, a truly euphoric experience for them.
"Mmmm…. perhaps," Patsy reluctantly agreed, "here's your bus. I'll see you tonight."
Delia stepped closer and for one terrifying moment, Patsy thought she was going to kiss her in public.
"I love you," she whispered into Patsy's ear and then scooted off to join the line to board the bus.
oooOooo