Dear Harry,

You will probably never read this letter, and that's okay. But I still need to write it, get everything written down, because then it's real and maybe it will be okay.

Who am I kidding, it will never be okay.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry I was jealous of your mother and stopped talking to her. I was hoping we would make up sometime, but then she went and died and it wasn't her fault, but I blamed her because I miss her. She was my sister, after all.

And then there's you. You were left on the doorstep, and you looked so much like the man who took Lily away, and I was about to put you in an orphanage, but then you opened your eyes.

You have Lily's eyes.

I decided to at least read the letter – why had Lily left you with me? I thought she hated me. I realized later that she thought I hated her, and that's why we never made up.

That letter destroyed me.

Honestly, Harry, most of the reason Vernon treated you badly was that he hated the thought of anyone different associated with him. And he taught that to Dudley – I hope he gets over that. I hope you speak to each other sometime and forgive each other. He really is a good boy in the end.

The reason I treated you badly was different.

I never told you – I was in touch with Lily's old friend, Severus. He told me about what happened at school and I was so scared for you. Severus is dead now. I found out a while ago.

We had a very similar reason for mistreating you, and we are both incredibly sorry. I wish Severus could tell you that, but he can't.

You are the reason Lily died.

I don't blame you at all – it was that awful man's fault, and partly Severus, and he never forgave himself for that. But in the end, she died protecting you.

I'm so, so sorry, Harry.

I only hope you can forgive me, someday.

When we had to leave, because of the threat of that man attacking us, I wanted to tell you everything. But Vernon was there, and so was Dudley, and so I couldn't.

Today is your birthday.

You would have been legal in the muggle world today. You are. You survived, and killed that terrible man. I have been in touch with some people in the wizarding world, and so I know.

I just want you to know – I'm divorcing Vernon. He was so terrible to you, and I'm sorry I stood there and let it happen. So I'm leaving him.

Dudley came out to us the other day, and Vernon threw a fit. He never could admit that anyone related to him was any less than perfect, and to him, Dudley being gay makes him imperfect.

I love him no matter what, and I told him so. He has a wonderful boyfriend, David, and I think you would like him. David has changed Dudley. He never bullies anyone anymore. David's brother is a muggleborn wizard, a few years younger. He was arrested, but he's okay now. His name is Sammy.

I hope that someday, you all get together and have lunch. It would be nice.

I just realized – I have no idea about your life, really. Who are your friends? Who are you staying with now? Do you work? Do you have a significant other? What's their name?

If I ever send this letter, please write back. Tell me everything. If you want, have me meet your family over there. Your friends. I would love to catch up.

I'm sorry, Harry, for everything. Have a very happy birthday.

Love,

Petunia