Part 1

Prologue

Stupid boys . . . they don't know anything about . . . about . . . anything! I'm just wasting my time thinking about him. I sound so . . . so . . . pitiful. Why were boys created? Are they here to annoy us women? Not only are they the most stupid creatures on this damn planet, they bring nothing but trouble and confusion to all the women they cross paths with. Damn them! All men . . . No . . . all he does is let me down when . . . when I need him the most. But . . . why does he make me feel . . . so happy and yet . . . so disgusted?

I sat there on the couch, thinking to myself. I can't stand thinking about him . . . but I always find myself doing it anyway. . . He's . . . so handsome . . . and funny . . . annoying . . . obnoxious . . . stupid . . . evil (sometimes) and yet . . . I . . .

"Keiko, is something the matter?" I heard the worried voice of my mother. I quickly looked at her. Embarrassed at how deep in thought I was, I tried to smile at my caring mother's face. She looked at me awkwardly as I shook my head to her question.

"Nothing's the matter . . . Mama," I said, trying to put at some sort of ease. I looked up at the ceiling as I paused. "Anyway . . . I'm fine. I'm just tired," I lied. I can't tell her the real reason why I'm so spacey . . . she probably wouldn't understand anyway, I told myself. I took my eyes off of the ceiling and looked at my mother, giving her a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, Mama. There's just so much happening, ya know?"

"Yes, I know. With your birthday tomorrow, you working, and all of these entrance exams around the corner, you're just overwhelmed," said my mother with a smile that mimicked mine. "Perhaps you should go to bed. You can hold off on chores for today." I looked at my mother and nodded.

"Good idea," I said. "Sleep sounds good." I got up and walked towards the hallway door. "I'll see you in the morning, Mama." I stopped halfway in the door. "Oh, and could you tell . . ."

"Don't worry. I'll tell your father you said 'good night'," she said. "I have to go help him downstairs in the diner anyway." I smiled again, nodded, and with that, continued on my way down the hallway to my bedroom.

Chapter 1- Please Don't Leave Me . . .

I made a stop in my bedroom, picking up some pajamas for me to put on. I then left and walked to the bathroom. I quietly made my way inside and closed the door as if trying to sneak around. Almost as. . . silent as the dead. I undressed, slipped open the door of the shower, and stepped into it. I turned on the water, allowing the hot to overpower the cold. I let my long, wet hair lay, each strand caressing the half-way point of my back My thoughts lingered as I stared at the wall I leaned against. Will I be able to see him tomorrow? I asked myself. I really miss him. Then I realized something. Why am I worrying about him? After what he did to me. I know for damn sure he's not thinking about me. Or . . . is he? I shook off my stupid question. Screw boys! They're just trouble . . . all of them, I thought, trying to reassure myself. I turned off the water and slid the door open. Not even a good minute after I got out of the steaming, hot water, I dried my hair and I quickly put on my underwear, a small t-shirt and my teddy bear covered pajama pants.

I opened the door, peering out to an empty hallway. I went to my room and quietly closed the door behind me. I climbed into bed and tried so hard to get comfortable. I turned and faced the wall, holding a little brown teddy bear given to me by the person in which I continued to think about nonstop. Why do I love him? Is it because he's a bad boy? He's just so handsome, but then again he always looks like he's up to something. I call him stupid all the time and yet . . . I still love him. Why do I feel this way? Maybe . . . maybe I'm the stupid one.

Yusuke has been my boyfriend for almost three years now. Though we've been together for a short time, I've known him for practically all of my life. I guess we've been close to each other for a long time. I've known him ever since I was little . . . before school started even. And even though I've known him for so long, he still makes me . . . so angry, I said to myself. He never seemed like the loving type of guy . . . at first. He is that type of guy who does things for a laugh . . . or just for the hell of it. He used to be kind of mean to everyone around him . . . and me sometimes. Still thinking to myself, I hugged my bear tightly. Yusuke was the type of guy who liked to play jokes on me . . . or the bastard would try to cop a feel once in a while. I really didn't like him that way . . . but I still had a huge crush on him. People would make fun of him and I. They would poke fun about how we were perfect for each other. He denied it for a while . . . and so did I. But now that I've seen different sides of him, his actions speak so much louder than his words. I've never heard him say the "three words" that every girl would like to hear at least once in their lives. Wordlessly . . . over the last couple of years, I've seen his love . . . I've felt it! But . . . is it love . . .or am I just imagining things?

He was always the toughest person . . . even when he was little. He had Atsuko-san's temper and a hell of a punch. He cusses all of the time . . . but . . . I guess I don't mind as much anymore. He was always the delinquent that you didn't want to mess with . . . the class clown who didn't put up with just anything. He wasn't exactly the smartest guy in the world either. Even though he was always the 'bad boy', for some reason, ever since I can remember, he was always somewhere close by; whether he was at home or around the corner at the market, beating Kuwabara-kun to a bloody pulp.

I almost lost him once. I was only fourteen years old when it happened. But it feels like such a long time ago . . . a shadowed part of my life that I would rather forget. My home got a call from Atsuko-san after I got home from school one day. When I heard that Yusuke had died after getting hit by a car, I was devastated. I mean . . . it was inconceivable for me to lose the only guy that I had ever felt anything for. I remember falling to my knees and crying, my mother grabbing my shoulders while I sobbed aloud. I couldn't believe that it was true! I couldn't believe my ears. Sitting there in my mother's arms... crying like that... I felt so helpless. But still, my heart could not grasp his death. For my heart's sake, I had to go see him for myself!

I ran to see if what I was hearing was the truth. But my haste would only prove his death to be a more painful reality. Everything was confirmed . . . when I saw his cold body laying there in the coffin . . . lifeless . . . motionless during the night. I stared at his pale face, his chest no longer pumping with the breaths of life. Perhaps my love then . . . I'll never know . . . but at that moment, I realized . . . that Yusuke was really . . . dead. Only tears would show how I felt that night . . . how much I wanted to deny Yusuke's death . . . but there was no denying it. Yusuke . . . my childhood friend . . . somewhat of a companion . . . was gone . . . and he wasn't going to come back. My heart ached to hear his voice . . . to hear one of his childish jokes again . . . to slap him for pulling one of his perverted pranks. . . but that was impossible. I wanted to touch him . . . but in fear of my emotions, all I could do was cry. Cry louder than ever before until my heart couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't stop shaking . . . crying . . . feeling so alone. I felt as if my heart had been pulled out of my chest. I thought I had lost him . . . forever . . .

But . . . just nights later . . . I had a dream. Yusuke wiped my tears away and told me that everything was going to be fine. I felt like he was really there with me. As if his spirit was with me, dead or not. When I woke up to see his face, he wasn't there. Somehow, I convinced myself that it was just my grief getting the best of me.

Yusuke came to me again the next day . . . except this time he came as Kuwabara-kun, his rival. First, he grabbed my chest in order to get my attention. Then I slapped him. This time Yusuke's spirit could not be denied. It was . . . him. He hugged me, telling me to make sure his body wasn't cremated; that he was coming back. What? I wanted to believe him. So badly, I wanted it to be true. I ran to Atsuko-san's house looking forward to telling her. When I got there, she told me that . . . somehow . . . he wasn't dead. His heartbeat was faint, but he was still alive. What joy I felt. Yusuke was trying to talk to me, even in death. Could it have been love then?

I watched over his body and waited for him to come back. Weeks went by and I didn't hear anything from Yusuke. During that time, I almost lost him. Again! Somehow, a fire started in the Urameshi residence. I ran in there without thinking about myself. I just had to get him out of there. I was surrounded by a hellish blaze with the lifeless Yusuke in my arms. There was no hope. Everything was falling down all around us. We were trapped. I thought it was over for both of us. I didn't want to give up, but there was nothing I could do . . .

Suddenly, the flames turned blue and a path cleared out for me. I could feel a familiar presence around me. It felt like Yusuke was all around me, his loving arms surrounding me and protecting me from certain doom. Kuwabara came running in, shouting my name, trying to help me and Yusuke get out. In the end Yusuke was safe; that was all that truly mattered.

Weeks after the fire, I had another dream. Yusuke showed me that in order for him to come back to life, I had to kiss him on the lips by midnight the next day. He would be shining in gold when I went to go see him. I didn't believe the dream. How could I? It sounded too farfetched to be real . . . I tried to brush it off like it was nothing. During that day, my mother had to go to the hospital due to heat exhaustion. As I waited next to my silent mother, I didn't realize how much time had gone by. I sat there, staring at her. Unexpectedly, my mother began to speak. She told me to go to Yusuke before it was too late. I ran, sure that my mother's talking was the true sign I was looking for. When I had gotten to Yusuke's new apartment, I only had five minutes to get to him. I had to kiss him. That's all I knew! I almost didn't make it. When my lips met his, I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, my heart praying for him . . . to come back to me. . .

It was just silence as I came away from his face. I waited in fear . . . of the worst. He didn't move. Not even a flinch. My heart sank. I was too late. Then I saw a quick movement in his chest.

He began to rise. He sat there and looked at me, smiling a cute smile. What relief I felt. I couldn't help but hold his warm, alive body in my arms. He had finally returned to me.

Yusuke and I have been through so much so far. He's always busy now. Whether he's working at our Ramen Shop or working with Botan in the spirit world, he's always been here. He's been injured so many times, and yet he still tries so hard to stick it out for my sake. He's always in danger because of the spirit world. So when we see each other, not even King Enma himself can part us. When we're together, we always try to savor every moment we're close to one another . . . at least, that's what we used to do . . .