Hi y'all! This is my new story.

Sorry to all who were reading 'Break me', but I thought it was going nowhere.
This is my new story, fic, whatever. It's basically a collection of suicide notes people leave. All DN characters of course.
Please R&R. It lets me know if you like the story. Or hate it.

Thanks.

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Win or Lose?

Dear L,

You win. Well done.

But as to how you won, I shall have to explain to you, as you did so subconsciously. Impressive even for the worlds three best detectives.

Let's go back a few years. You admitted me to the case. I agreed. We all know that bit.

Upon joining the case, L, I found you incredibly hard to put up with. You were annoying and provoked every particle of me to dislike you. This, however, was probably because you were so much like myself; arrogant, self-assured and extremely clever. There cannot be two people like myself without conflict. So I set my heart upon hating you as much as I could, and achieving more than you. It was difficult to do.

Eventually, to prove my innocence to you, I had myself put into confinement. Not the happiest period of my life.

Do you remember that I used to talk to you? You would seldom reply, but I continued. It was because I was bored, and boredom makes me think a fair amount more than I usually would. And, as there was nothing to do in that god-forsaken chamber, I found myself thinking an awful lot more than usual.

So, after many hours of thinking, I realised that you weren't that bad. Sure, you have a terrible diet and you are too clever for your own good, but you really are the only person I have met so far that can equal me in intelligence. You are intelligent in discussions and do not go out of your way to provoke me (as I first thought), you just are that way.

So, upon realising this, I started to talk to you.

You probably already reached that conclusion, or something stupidly close, to it through your own determinations. If you hadn't, there it is. I realised that I could actually view you as a friend.

And there was something else. There always is, I suppose. I didn't know what it was, and so I ignored it, hoping it would go away. Hope is a word for fools. Of course it didn't. So, I decided to explore it.

Do you know what this feeling was, L? I didn't, for a long time. I didn't want to understand why every time you asked me something my stomach churned, and not through nervousness that I would say something wrong, but through nervousness that I would say something that would make you… disapprove of me? Not like me?

Then, there were the looks. Every time you looked at me, I felt like a teenage school girl who had just been given roses by an incredibly handsome man. Bad analogy, I know, but it aptly describes how I felt.

With your detective skills, you've probably already worked out what I'm talking about. But maybe your social skills counteract that enough that you don't. Basically, I'll put it plain and simple.

I developed a crush on you, L.

You can say it's impossible, that you are unattractive, whatever. It was possible, and you are very attractive. So there it is.

Yagami Raito, number one Kira suspect, developed a crush on L, Kira's nemesis. Ironic.

You being chained to me didn't really help, in the long run. L, do you realise how much you attracted me just by being yourself?

Sometimes it seemed deliberate, but I always ruled out that possibility. Despite being insanely clever, you have no social skills, so it would be doubtful that you would try and seduce someone. Especially a suspect.

Which brings me onto my dilemma.

You knew I was Kira. I didn't, for a while, but I remembered. It was just impossible. Even if by some freak chance you did like me, you would never do anything about it. Just bury it deep down with all the other emotions that you don't want, don't need.

So, here is my confession.

My name is Yagami Raito. I am Kira.
I killed every person that Kira has killed. I did this by using the Death Note, a notebook owned by shinigami. I killed in the name of justice.
I joined the team investigating the Kira Case so I could sabotage it and take over the identity of L.

I had no accomplices. Every murder was commited solely by myself.

There. That and the Death Note, also enclosed in the envelope. In it, you will find every name of the people that have died by the hands of Kira.

Please, make sure my father stays alive. Tell him it's not his fault.

The last name written in the Death Note shall be my own.

Thank you L, even if you didn't mean to do me any good.

I love you.

You win.