Unforgotten
Well, this is my first time here on FF . net so I hope that I'll have a good experience here.
As for this fiction, it was inspired by a poem I wrote which I'll upload after I've finished writing the story.
I do not own Inu-Yasha in any way.
Chapter 1: Never Faded
I stood silently in the clear night beneath the brilliant gold and crimson colored leaves, the shallow stream allowing me to see my bare feet. I looked up at the full, shining silver moon and closed my eyes in remembrance of the silver haired boy.
"Inu-Yasha.." I whispered to myself and to the wind, praying that somehow he could hear me. I opened my eyes and gazed steadily at the sky, wishing, hoping..
I could feel my heartbeat quicken every moment I thought of him. When I was around him... I felt I could finally truly be myself. I've always felt this way... but... have I always cared this much for him? I can't remember ever not caring...
I know somehow he must feel the same... I can tell from the way he looks at me. I smile every time I see him, a small smile, given, but a smile. I love looking into his golden eyes, he's put up such a facade, but I can see through that. He makes me smile.. even laugh..
Looking up sharply as I hear a noise nearby, I see a single golden red leaf fluttering down from a branch. I hear the rustle of a haori and my breath catches in my throat. I try to breathe, but his presence startled me. Could he possibly have heard me? Only if he had been following me... which he has been doing for a while now. I put on my softest smile and said firmly but gently, "Why don't you come down Inu-Yasha? I know you're here."
"Feh," is the reply and he jumped down in front of me, landing smoothly. I blinked, slightly taken aback. I've never seen him like this...
I smiled again. "It's a cold night. What are you doing out on a night like this?" I asked softly.
"You're one to talk Kikyou. I at least can protect myself unarmed." He indicated my missing bow. I slowly shook my head.
"I'm not unarmed." I walked out of the stream, slipping my white socks and wooden sandals back on and sitting next to my bow, pulling my quiver over my right shoulder. I looked up to see him staring at me with the most curious look on his face. He looks almost serene...
The wind blew as time slowly slipped by. We were absolutely silent, staring at each other. Oh, I wish I could show you all of my emotions... I wish I didn't have to hide this love I feel for you... you can probably read my emotions just as I can read yours...
And finally he spoke. "Kikyou.." he said quietly, still standing in the middle of the stream, "I heard you call for me before. Why..-"
"Here, sit next to me, Inu-Yasha," I interrupted smoothly. He nodded and slowly made his way to my side, sitting down cross-legged beside me.
I looked down at the azaleas to my left as sad thoughts crossed my mind. We can't be together... not like this... not as long as I am the high priestess... not as long as we are both being attacked by demons from all sides... how can we ever be together? I reached for his hand and took it in my own, he opened his eyes and looked at me with mild surprise. His surprise faded and left.. was it a tender look on his face? It was... it made me smile sadly as he responded by holding my hand gently. Only once before has he ever held my hand...
I gazed into his eyes... those beautiful golden eyes that captivated me. And I knew why I loved him. I had always known why, just refused to admit it.
"Inu-Yasha," I said softly, but loudly enough for him to hear, "I am very sorry... but, as long as I am the protector of the Shikon no Tama... I can't show my true feelings... because then they would be used against me... however.. I want you to know.. that I care about you very much..." I let out a breath I hadn't realized I had been holding. Inu-Yasha's eyes widened a fraction, but he smiled, a beautiful smile that made my heart warm and all of the feelings I had for him want to burst. I want to forget about the Shikon no Tama and be able to live normally with you... I wish for that more than anything...
"I.. don't really know how to say this.." he said, stumbling over each word.
"Then don't say it," I said, wishing I could touch his face and not have to settle for holding his hand.. wishing with all of my heart that I could but knowing all the while that I couldn't. But I'm a woman first... and I need his love...
"But, I have to say this..." he said, he looked discouraged. I smiled gently.
"I understand.. continue.." I said gently, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. He smiled a small smile of gratitude and I could tell he was gathering all of the strength he could muster. What could it be that it would be so difficult to tell me?
He took a deep breath. "I care a lot about you too, Kikyou..." he said quietly, so quietly I almost didn't hear it. I could feel a small blush creeping across my face from the tip of my nose. I smiled slightly and gathering all of my courage, allowed my fingertips to graze his cheek, stood and left quickly, knowing he wouldn't follow me and knowing I would dream of him again tonight. But not knowing the words he whispered while staring at the azaleas...
I walked calmly through the flames around me. They did not intimidate me, nor did the wind's howling cries of pain. They would have been chilling to the bone for anyone unprepared for them. Not for me. I had been waiting for this my entire life. All of my miko training had been leading towards this day. Now I must walk through the fires of hell... in order to purify the shikon no tama... I must sacrifice what is most precious to me.
"Kikyou!"
I turned my head slightly, only to see Inu-Yasha running towards me, through the flames... without so much as an ember touching him.
"Kikyou! Stop!" he called to me again, his silver hair flashing like dying sunlight on clear water.
I paused, then continued walking, ignoring the fact that every fiber of my being wanted to run to him and be as close to him as possible.
"Kikyou!" he yelled again, landing in front of me and grabbing my shoulders, "What in the hell do you think you're doing!"
I looked at him coldly, even though I wanted so much to embrace him one last time...
"If you go in there you'll never come back out! Do you really want to die! If you do I won't let you! I need you here Kikyou! You can't abandon me and I won't ever let you go because that would be like I was the one abandoning you!" He said heatedly, passionately, almost... with love...
"I have no choice Inu-Yasha!" I said, my voice deadly calm, he took a step back, surprised by my tone.
"Huh? What do you mean you have no choice? Of course you have a choice! There is always a choice Kikyou!"
"It is the only way for me to purify the sacred jewel, by sacrificing my own life and taking it with me to the next world," I said, the steel like strength underlying my tone would have scared the wits out of a lesser being. He didn't bat an eye.
"I don't care if the stupid jewel is ever purified! I'll die before you sacrifice yourself!" he said defiantly, embracing me with all of his strength.
"What?! Get off of me. Let me go, now!" I said with as much hatred I could muster in my voice, which was impossible because... I love him with all of my soul. I struggled for a few seconds before giving in to what I truly wanted... I returned his embrace with all of my love.
"Kikyou.." Inu-Yasha whispered. I remained silent and closed my eyes, gripping his haori tightly in my hands. "Look at me," he said quietly.
I can't...
He tilted my chin upwards, forcing me to stare into his golden eyes... those orbs that reflected the fire blazing around us. And in his heart...
"Kikyou.." he said again, I felt my heart start to pound.
"Yes, Inu-Yasha," I whispered, feeling the tears forming in my eyes.
He closed his eyes and whispered, "I love you." My eyes filled to the brim with tears.
"Inu-Yasha..." I murmured, letting myself feel his soft silver strands of hair.
Inu-Yasha...
"I love you..." I said quietly.
I felt him tighten his embrace around me. It was gentle and yet such a passionate embrace.
I wish we could stay this way forever... always in your strong arms... my love... Inu-Yasha...
I felt a drop of rain on my head and looked up, seeing the ominous clouds, I looked around to see the flames had vanished. As had Inu-Yasha himself...
Where am I? This isn't the place I was before... what's happening now?
The wind cried again and I heard the angry shouts of villagers. I turned and saw them, torches lit and weapons in hand.
What's going on? I don't like the looks of this...
I heard their shouting. "There he is! Get him! Inu-Yasha! Kill Inu-Yasha!" the men shouted to one another and began firing arrows at him. What is going on!? Stop! Don't harm Inu-Yasha! What did he ever do for you to try and hurt him!
I saw a small silver haired boy running away from the mob of villagers. Crying as he ran, the small boy had what looked like dog ears.
It can't be... Inu-Yasha...
"Get back here half-breed! Come on now, it will hurt less if you just let us kill you!" the man who seemed to be the leader said. My gaze turned ice cold as I made my way towards them and the young Inu-Yasha. He ran straight into my leg screaming.
"Leave me alone! I didn't do anything wrong!" He fell backwards, landing on the soft grass. He looked up at me with fear, confusion, and hurt in his eyes, then saw the villagers coming after him and hid behind my leg.
"Don't worry," I whispered to him and gave him a soft smile, "Everything will be alright. I won't let them hurt you."
"O-okay," he said sniffling and wiping his face on the back of his arm.
The men approached me, I could see the anger and hatred in their hearts. What's wrong with these people? Have they all been possessed? I gripped my bow tightly, ready to strike if they attacked.
"Out of our way priestess!" the leader ordered, "This hanyou has caused enough trouble for all of us and this was the final straw!" I looked at him coldly.
"Oh? What could a little boy possibly have done to deserve death?" I asked, my voice calm.
"He killed his mother! That's what! Now stop defending him and move, otherwise we'll kill you as well!"
"No I didn't! I love my mother and she's not dead! She can't be dead... I won't believe it!" the young Inu-Yasha shouted, breaking down into fresh tears, "It hurts too much.. I'll never believe you! I would never hurt my mother..." I felt my heart filling with pain.
Is this what happened to you Inu-Yasha...? Losing your mother at such a young age... I'm so sorry.. I never knew why you were so lonely... you didn't deserve this.. my poor little hanyou... I promise I won't let anyone hurt you again.
"Can you really accuse such a small boy of killing his mother?" I asked, with even more gentle iciness to my tone, "Have you no shame?"
"Hmph, listen priestess, you had your chance. Now die!" he said, charging at me.
"Get back, Inu-Yasha," I said quietly. He nodded and stood back. I aimed my arrow, hearing the stretch of my bow and released, knocking all of the villagers back as the power of my sacred arrow pulsed, releasing my anger.
"Take my hand," I said softly, smiling at the young boy. He reached for my hand slowly and I gave him a reassuring smile. He smiled as well and held my hand in his. "Come, let's go for a walk Inu-Yasha," I said, leading him away from the insane villagers, hoping that they would come to their senses. Inu-Yasha stared at the ground.
"Thank you... for saving me. You're a nice lady. Just like my mother..." the young Inu-Yasha said as another tear escaped him.
"Your welcome. I wasn't going to let them hurt you. I could never let them do that. My name is Kikyou," I said, smiling gently at him. He gripped my hand tighter.
"Kikyou.. can you help me find my mother?" he asked, looking at me with such sad eyes... I wanted to hold him and make all of his pain go away. I kneeled down to his level and looked into those sad golden eyes.
"I'm sorry Inu-Yasha, but what the men back there said... it's true. Your mother has passed on," I said, watching his eyes as they filled with tears, I took him in my arms and held him tenderly as he cried.
"Why!" he screamed, so loudly it hurt my human ears, "Why mother! Why did you leave me!" I comforted him and soothed him and his screams died down and became silent tears.
"It will be alright Inu-Yasha. I'm sure that she didn't want to go, but we cannot choose our time. She is watching over you right now, and always will be, as long as you hold her in your heart, and as long as you never forget all of the wonderful things you shared with her... even the sad memories will become easier to bear eventually little one, I promise you that. I am sure that she loves you with all of her heart. And I am sure she is in Nirvana now, waiting for you." He nodded and sniffled.
"Thank you... you're so nice to me.. the only other person who ever was... was my mother..." he said softly, and slowly, the child Inu-Yasha I held with all my love began to fade away.
My darling Inu-Yasha... I'm so sorry... for all of your pain...
The clouds around me disappeared and I was left in a small clearing of grass. I sighed and sat down, wondering what to expect. I didn't expect to see a small girl who looked almost exactly like myself, no more than three years old, running towards me with a smile on her face.
"Mama!" she called. I blinked. Could she be talking to me? "Papa! Mama! Look what I found!" she called again.
"What is it Sada?" a man with long silver hair said, picking her up in his arms and making her squeal with delight when he threw her lightly into the air, catching her easily.
Inu-Yasha... but, if you're her father... who is her mother?
"Mama!" she said happily as soon as Inu-Yasha set her back down and came running into my arms. I was too surprised to speak. "Look, look!" she said, holding up a single red azalea, "I found this and brought it back for you!" She smiled happily and snuggled up against me as I gently embraced her, trying to figure out what it was I should say.
"It's beautiful Sada," I managed, and smiled back at her, "If you put it in water it will live longer."
"Okay! I'll be back soon!" she said, running off towards what looked like.. my village.
My heart was pounding in my chest as Inu-Yasha neared me and sat down beside me, embracing me with his arms gently.
"Hm? What's wrong Kikyou?" he asked, looking slightly concerned.
"No, it's nothing... I just can't believe we have a daughter.. I have no idea how it happened..." I whispered in slight awe at the beautiful little girl who was.. my daughter. He chuckled and held me as we stared at the sunset together, with Sada in my arms. I smiled and sighed a bit. "I wish this would never end," I whispered.
"So do I," he said quietly.
I woke to find myself alone on my pallet, blinking as the bright rays of sunlight hit my eyes. A dream... I sat up and rubbed my eyes, yawning slightly, I looked for a sign of Kaede.
I stood and dressed quietly, prepared to go out and gather herbs, just as Kaede rushed in huffing. I raised my brow in a questioning manner.
"Onee-sama Kikyou!" Kaede said in a trembling voice, which caused fear to grow in my heart, though I did not show it. Could not show it...
"Yes?" I asked calmly when Kaede began crying quietly. My eyes filled with concern. "Come here Kaede," I said, opening my arms and she ran into them, clutching my haori, I held her gently and smoothed her hair. "It's alright Kaede, tell me what's wrong," I whispered soothingly as I rubbed her back. Kaede choked on a sob and bit her lip, looking up at me. I smiled softly at her, giving some of my strength to her through my hands.
"Sister, it's horrible... the village close by to us has been attacked and Inu-Yasha is there and he's been trying to protect them, but..." Kaede trailed off, not looking at me. I tilted her face so that I could see her eyes.
"Tell me Kaede," I said gently.
She nodded and continued, "Inu-Yasha... he's been wounded badly sister, and I think he needs help... he told me to run and get you..." I felt my heart skip a beat but when Kaede saw I was not reacting to what she said she shook me slightly. "Sister, please, you have to help him! He saved me sister! He saved me from all of those demons..." and Kaede began crying again.
I comforted my little sister as best I could. "I will be back soon Kaede, try and sleep a bit. I'll make sure that stubborn, arrogant hanyou of ours is alright," I said with a serious look on my face, but smiled softly so that Kaede wouldn't worry so much about us. Us... is that how I think of him and I..? As a couple..?
I arrived just as Inu-Yasha was thrown to the ground directly in front of me. Bow and arrow in hand, my quiver of arrows over my shoulder. "Inu-Yasha," I whispered, wanting to scream because of the pain he must be in and the slashes all over his clothing and body, the blood streaming down him... Inu-Yasha! I could feel my heart screaming.
"Kikyou... What.. what are you doing here?!" He looked up sharply as a demon came down at us. "Get out of the way!" he yelled, shoving me back against a tree and standing between the demon and myself. "Blades of Blood!" he yelled, sending the red blades at the youkai who remained unaffected.
"What? What are you doing! Don't be stupid Inu-Yasha! Get out of the way!" I said, pushing him down onto the ground and aiming my arrow directly at the youkai, I pulled my arrow back hearing it stretch the cord of my bow, then released it, destroying him immediately. I did the same to every other youkai in the small village and when I finally set down my bow everything was silent.
I looked down to find Inu-Yasha in the same place as I had last seen him, in the grass, staring at me with slight awe in his eyes. Only I can tell what he's feeling... anyone else would think he's going to be sick... I smiled quietly to myself and he turned his head arrogantly, getting up.
"Feh, what are you smiling at, I didn't need your help, I could've taken care of'em all in one go if I wanted to," Inu-Yasha said his nose turned upward with a forced look of disgust on his face. He made me want to giggle, but I knew he would be hurt if I laughed, though he would never admit to it... or show it either...
"I'm sure that you could have," I said softly, walking away from him slowly and going around gathering the remains of the villagers in my arms. Not that there was much of anything left...
"Hey," he said suddenly, softly. I turned and looked at him. "Do you need my help?" It was such a sincere question it made me want to cry.
I smiled softly and said, "If you don't mind, I need burials for all of the villagers. Could you dig them?" He nodded.
"How many you need?"
"I'd say about thirty at the most.. this village either wasn't very big or some of the villagers managed to escape," I said quietly, gathering the scraps of clothing and placing them with their owners. Thank the gods, they escaped... I kneeled and prayed a blessing for their souls. That they may all be accepted into Nirvana... and may the villagers who managed to escape live long and healthy lives.
I could feel Inu-Yasha watching me. As I opened my eyes I found him staring at me with a curious look on his face. Almost like a puppy... I smiled sadly.
"You finished digging the burials," I said quietly, "Arigatou."
"Feh, it was nothing," he said, turning his face away from me.
"Could you help me place them in their graves?" I asked, not looking at him. He nodded.
As we finished the sun was on its way to setting. I kneeled again and bowed my head in prayer. I heard Inu-Yasha sit down next to me, and opened my eyes to look at him, only to see his eyes were closed as well.
"Gomen ne," he said quietly, as though to himself. I smiled slightly and closed my eyes in prayer again.
I opened my eyes just as the wind blew past us, bringing one beautiful red azalea floating down in front of me. I could feel the pain in my heart. All of these people are gone now... they never got a chance to truly live without fear... I will put an end to the suffering of this world... I swear it...
When I stood up I was surprised to feel something wet on my cheek. I lifted my hand to my face. A tear? Am I crying? I am crying... I looked at Inu-Yasha who had been staring at me with a soft and tender look on his face.
"Come on, don't cry..." he said gently, trying to comfort me as best he could.
"I'm sorry, I don't understand why I'm crying..."
"It's alright," he said, embracing me. My eyes went wide in shock.
"Inu-Yasha..." I whispered, returning his embrace shortly after he took me in his arms.
"I swear I won't let anything happen to you. As long as I am by your side, you will always be alright. I swear it, Kikyou, I will always protect you," he whispered to me, only for my ears to ever hear. I smiled and embraced him with all of my love and he did the same, holding me protectively. I don't need to say it for you to know... and you don't need to say it either... however, every time my heart beats it says it louder, stronger, clearer... Inu-Yasha... I love you...
There are times when I wonder...
Let me know what you think!